 What are soul ties and are they biblical? Hey smart Christians, welcome back. I want to talk about something that has been asked of me to kind of cover and that's this issue of soul ties. You hear people talk about soul ties in the context of when two people become intimate and I mean intimate sexually and when they say so they tend to refer to a piece or a part of this person's soul being tied or needed to the other person's soul. In other words, this person becomes part of the next person and vice versa. The question is, is that even biblical? Well first off, anything that brings you any sort of joy or delight, if you spend time with it, there's a connection that develops and when you establish a connection with a person the longer the relationship with that person, the deeper the connection becomes. And so when people have these or develop these intimate relationships, these sexual relationships, it is said that they have developed these soul ties where the soul of the person that they have been intimate with is tied to the other person, to their partner. Their souls are tied together, they become one with the other person, they become a part of the person. Question is, is that true more to the point is that biblical? Well, the answer is no, it's not. Now there are some passages that people turn to to kind of give a biblical basis for why they even have this term soul ties. One of them oddly enough is in the Old Testament in 1 Samuel when speaking about the relationship between David and Jonathan. Let's look at that passage and see if soul ties are implied here. In this passage it says that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David. The word that's used here is the Hebrew word kashir and that does mean knit, it does mean tied, it also means conspiracy, it means together. And the only point that the writer is trying to make is that David and Jonathan had just a close knit relationship. It meant that they were part of each other. Clearly there was no sexual relationship that was there. All it simply means that they just had a close relationship and that they had a friendship, a connection with each other. And so it would be a leap to use this passage and say that there was some sort of a soul tie with these two or to justify them. Now there are no such thing as soul ties but does that mean that there is no connection between two people's souls or two people's persons? Well, of course there is. So let me see if I can kind of give you an analogy that maybe if you harken back to your days in preschool or elementary school you can relate to. Let's say I've got two pieces of paper. On this piece of paper I put some Elmer's glue, you know the old white Elmer's glue, I put that on a piece of paper and then I take this other piece of paper that has nothing on it, put the two pieces of paper together, pull them apart, what happens? Some of the glue on this paper is now going to be on this paper. If I do it again, hold them together, pull them apart, even more glue of this paper will be on that paper. Do it again, pull them apart. What happens now is because the two pieces of paper have started to have some even more interaction. Now instead of some of the glue from this paper being on that paper, some of the paper on this paper, some of the ink, some of the paper, some of the coloring from this paper will now be on this and vice versa. Some of what's on this paper will now be on that paper. Do it again, before too long you pull them apart and then whole parts of the paper will tear off and be on this paper and vice versa. So maybe a better word to use other than soul ties, again it's not biblical, our soul is not connected to anyone else's soul, but maybe a better terminology would be flesh ties. Here's what I mean. We're told in the Bible in the old Anno knew that a man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one. And the one is indicating one in flesh, right? And then we look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6. So let's go in and read that. In verse 15 of chapter 6, he says, Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? Some verses may say one flesh for it is written. The two will become one flesh. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one in spirit with him. Let's stop for a second. So being joined with the Lord, now we become one spiritually. But when it comes to a person, a man to a woman, a woman to a man, that that person becomes one in not soul, not in spirit, but one in flesh. Okay, so there's a time, because what happens is like I said, that person becomes, you know, you become familiar with that person. And you think about that person. You can envision that person. You can smell that person. The feeling goes from being physical to being emotional and then even to psychological. And while all that's happening, hey, it's all good as long as the two are together. Feeling good, even if it is a sinful relationship, the two are together. So they feel like, hey, we can conquer the world. We don't need anybody else. It's just us. And you get to the point to where you are finishing each other's sentences. You know what the person's thinking. You're wondering what they're doing at that moment. You complete me. All last good. You feel lovey-dovey. It's all good until it ends. The two separate. But then what's happened in the past is still being thought about in the present. And it's hard to eat. Sometimes, for some people, it's hard to even imagine going forward without having any of this residue from the past. And so folks may call that a soul tie. But again, as I said, it's not a soul tie. It's that the person became one in flesh, even in an unnatural sense, an ungodly sense. And so there are going to be some lingering effects. As a matter of fact, it's exacerbated even more so if it is an unbiblical relationship, an ungodly relationship, one that's not sanctioned by God. So what the good news is, there is no soul tie. And also the good news is, is that even if something like this becomes a stronghold, those things can also be alleviated. Usually that stuff kind of passes, the strength, the feeling goes away over time. But there are some instances where time does not heal that wound. There are some instances where time doesn't cause you to forget, to get over what has happened. But here's the truth and here's the good news. Although there are no soul ties to the person, that there may be some joining by flesh, there is a soul tie in the sense when it comes to us as a believer with God. We're tied by our soul to him. And so he's working in us. And so there's a good news. The Bible says that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God through pulling down a stronghold. And so if you feel like that what you may have thought or come to know of as a soul tie or just this deep attraction, this connection that's been broken, we've got something to defeat that what might seem like or even may be actually a stronghold. And that is prayer. That is relationship with God, the one who our soul is actually tied to. Because we illegitimately put that person in a place that they had no business being in the first place. A place that's occupied or should be occupied or reserved for God, right? Because you need to remember this. An ungodly relationship is always an ungodly relationship. If it started off ungodly, it will end as ungodly. It's not that God is going to ever turn around and start blessing sin. And we do that sometimes. We say, well, Lord, this person is this, this person is that, and we want God to bless this relationship and make it into something. Well, first of all, if you're in a relationship that you're not proud of, now you wouldn't tell someone that you're not proud of and you certainly wouldn't tell the person at the time that you're not proud of. But some of you guys like to post things on social media. Is this relationship that you can post on social media and let everyone know or do you know there's going to be some backlash? Is this a type of relationship that you would be proud to have your child, your son or your daughter in this same type of relationship that began the same type of way that yours did? If the roots of this thing is sinful, understand. Sin has a way, don't care how it makes you feel, has a way of taking root. The longer it's there, the deeper and stronger the roots get. And so when God roots that out, there's a lot that's coming out with that. If sin has taken hold deep, when you pull it out, it's not just the roots are going to come out and it's going to hurt. So obviously the best advice is to make sure that whatever relationship that you're in, it is a godly relationship. It's one that can be out in the open. The one that you can, a relationship that you can pray about and pray with others about, that you can talk to this person about God and talk to God about that person so that everyone knows where you stand. Because the real soul tie that you do have is not with a person, not with something on this planet, but with God. And so whatever you do, it's me and God in the mix. And if someone wants to come in, into my life, into this relationship, they're coming into a relationship that's already established with me and God. And preferably this person should have the same soul tie with God, the same relationship with God. And if that's the case, well then it's fine because now we can say who God or what God has joined together, let no man put us under. So if you're in one of these relationships that one you should not be in, all I can do is just say what the word says, what Paul says, and that is flee sexual immorality, flee that, leave it. Even if it hadn't got to the point to where it's gotten physical, leave it because he doesn't say, hey, stick around, fight it. You can win, no fleet. Why? Because when the lights are down and Luther's on and you've made up your mind that you're not going to do anything but hey, you're kind of feeling yourself and feeling this person, it might be too late. So avoid, not only just the very appearance of sin, but don't even give place to sin. Don't even make the possibility of sin happening. And for you who have been in one of these relationships where you feel like there are these soul ties, because we don't have a problem if it's a golly relationship and we feel this close connection and we're still with the person and we're marrying this person, we either are or are going to marry this person, that's fine. Call it what you want to call it, in truth it's not a soul tie, but what about when it ends and that's the issue. I've been doing this and now I've got this connection. I want to get past this person, I want to get past that. Well, here's what you do. Do what you did with that person with God. The time that you spent with that person, spend it with God. The time talking to this person about things, about life, about all those things that are happening around you. Do the same with God. Find out when you're wondering what this person is doing, when you're wondering what this person is thinking what this person's up to, start wondering what God is thinking what he's up to. In other words, the amount of time that you invest with this person that caused the problems, take that same time, replace it with God, and watch how he fixes you and then even watch this. And he may not come as quickly and do it as quickly as you want to, but watch how he brings you to someone who he wants you to be with. And so in doing so, let the only soul connection that you have, the only soul tie that is biblical with God, let that be the one that you're proud of. Amen.