 So, I wanted to present what I believe were the dumbest moments of CPAC 2021. This is, in no way, a comprehensive list. There were a lot more dumb moments that aren't going to be discussed in this video. And this isn't necessarily in any particular order. Nonetheless, this is what I think are the stupidest moments. We'll start with Ted Cruz. Okay. He also joked about his trip to Cancun. God bless CPAC! I gotta say, Orlando is awesome! It's not as nice as Cancun. Is that so? I like how already he's trying to play off that scandal, as if it's not that big of a deal. This was kind of just, you know, a sensationalist story that the media really ran with. No, it proved that you are a piece of shit, as if we needed any more evidence. Additionally, I mean, one thing that I thought when I saw the photographs and video footage from this conference was that, oh my God, this is going to be the next super spreader event. You have hundreds, if not thousands of people there in, you know, auditoriums, not wearing masks. And when the crowd was asked to wear a mask, they booed, literally. This is a room full of grown adults booing when they were asked to wear a mask. Well, as Stan mentioned, we are in a private facility, and we do want to be respectful of the ordinances that they have as their private property. So please, everyone, when you're in the ballroom, when you're seated, you should still be wearing a mask. So if everybody can go ahead, work on that. I know, I know, it's not the most fun. You have the right to set the own rules in your own house, and we're borrowing somebody else's house. So we need to comply with their rules. So thank you all for putting on your masks. I wear a mask when I'm in the halls, and we're going to comply with their rules. Thank you, everyone. Have a good conference. Thank you. Now, I'm not sure if you heard it or not, but one person literally yelled freedom when they were asked to wear masks. And no, we're not talking about this dipshit. Imagine thinking that you're literally losing your freedom by being politely asked to wear a piece of cloth over your mouth and nose during a pandemic. I mean, these folks are not serious people. They're just not. And you have a literal Republican lawmaker who's in a position of power applaud the state of Florida for pretending as if, you know, the pandemic, it's not even a thing. Well, coronavirus. What's that? Tell you the truth. It is great to be in Florida where you guys are normal. You're open. I don't have to wear a mask anymore. That's so much better than California. You see, according to Republicans, it's actually normal to pretend as if pandemics aren't a thing, even when we're living through them. That's what's normal to them. You know, you walk around and you don't see anyone wearing masks and you don't have to wear a mask. It feels normal here, really. Thousands of deaths don't make you think, hmm, maybe things aren't so normal. I mean, these are children. They think like children and that's kind of an insult to children because I think that most children are more reasonable than Republicans. I see children wearing masks at the grocery store and they don't seem to put up a fight. They don't seem to have an issue with it. It's only Republicans who have an issue with it because they claim that it impedes on their freedom to wear masks during a pandemic. Now, switching gears, I want to talk about the Fox News guy who once said that he never washes his hands. He is going to prove how he really has his finger on the pulse and how Republicans really are the party of the working class because he talks to normal Americans. And these are the issues that normal Americans actually care about. I sit down with a schoolteacher or a construction worker or a small business owner or a cook at a restaurant or the waitress at the restaurant we're at. And they're not talking about esoteric things that the Ivy League talks about or MSNBC talks about. They're talking about the Bible and faith and prayer and their family. Hard work supporting the police, standing for the anthem, the First Amendment, the Second Amendment, the 10th Amendment. It's apparent to me that this dude has never spoken to a normal person in his entire life. Nobody talks about these things. He says that these are the conversations that the peasants are having. They talk about the Bible and faith and prayer and their family. Really, they talk about this. Like, can you imagine a table dinner where, like, a father is asking his child, well, son, what kind of prayer did you do today? Oh, well, I don't know, dad. I prayed to Jesus that the PS5 would be back in stock so I can order one and finally play Demon's Souls. Nobody fucking talks like this. Like, normal Americans aren't talking about things like this. They're not talking about the 10th Amendment. I don't think a normal working class American can even tell you what the 10th Amendment is. He says that they are talking about supporting the police, hard work and standing for the national anthem. Yes, because at the dinner table, don't you remember how your family talks about how important it is that we stand for the national anthem and do hard work? Like, this is weird. Nobody's talking about this at the dinner table. These aren't kitchen table issues. Kitchen table issues involves putting food on the table, joking with your family and friends, talking about, like, a massive dump you took. Like, this isn't what normal people talk about. Like, he's trying to seem relatable, seem like he talks to normal Americans, but you just proved how out of touch you are. And I do have another clip of this same guy. He, since he has his finger in the pulse of America, he's going to claim that the left is now targeting math. Cancel culture has come for mathematics now, literally. They removed the classics. They removed basic arithmetic. Math is now racist. OK, who said that math is racist? Point me to the liberal or the leftists or anyone for that matter that said that math is racist. Citation needed. Like, I don't understand. Like, what are you talking about? But speaking of bad things that the left and liberals say and do, Trump Jr. apparently had some breaking news that none of us were privy to at CPAC. They've banned the Muppets. You know that show that just got re-released on Disney Plus, that really old show. Actually, it didn't just get re-released. Contrary to popular belief, it was actually banned. It's not that Disney just put like a disclaimer before each episode. It got banned because I say so. I just made that up to prove that lefties are bad and it's not Disney who did it, it's the left because Disney is the left. A large multi-billion dollar company is equal to the left and liberals. Now, I don't want to overlook a really important point that he's making about cancel culture because he does talk about how detrimental it is to American culture. And he explains, I think, really eloquently that the leftist mob is now even coming for potatoes because they want potatoes to be gender-neutral now. Can you imagine thinking that potatoes should be gender-neutral? Hasbro now wants a gender-neutral Mr. Potato Head. These are the issues of our times, folks. I mean, if Hasbro really wanted a gender-neutral Mr. Potato Head so badly, they should just slap a picture of CNN's Brian Slettler on the cover of their next potato. What? I don't even know what to say. Like, what? Look, at risk of sounding like an SJW, potatoes, much like all vegetables, are quite literally gender-neutral because potatoes don't have genders. Perhaps you could find one that's shaped like a dick, or if you put two of them together, they look like balls, but potatoes don't have genders. So it's not really that outrageous that Mr. Potato Head is now Potato Head. And, like, this begs the question, does anyone actually care about this? Does anyone actually feel any sense of outrage or delight from the news about the Potato Head bullshit? Who cares? Like, the only folks who I see concerned about this are the Republicans who are using this as an example that the left's cancel culture has now come to Potato Head or Mr. Potato Head or Mrs. Potato Head. Nobody cares about this. I don't know a single person who even knows that this is news. It's not actually news. It's a non-story, but because, you know, Fox News is so desperate to find any and all examples of cancel culture because that's what they're all about lately. I think it's Jim Jordan who actually called for hearings on cancel culture. Well, now this is their mission. They don't know what else to talk about. They can't talk about the working class, raising wages, or giving workers, you know, unions. They can't talk about providing health care to Americans. So they are focusing on these culture war bullshit issues that don't have any meaning whatsoever. And he threw in a dig on Brian Stelter of CNN. And I don't, like, I genuinely am confused. Like, I don't get the joke. Is the joke that he looks like a potato, like his head is shaped like a potato, or is the joke that Brian Stelter doesn't have a gender and that, like, his gender is amorphous? Like, I don't get it. And Trump Jr., like, he tries to be funny all the time, but it just comes off as cringe-worthy. Like, do you remember, I think it was like CPAC 2019, where he had this weird exchange with Jerry Falwall Jr., where he was talking about, like, how delicious cows are, and he threw in that joke and he was trying to be funny. It was just really weird and bizarre. My boys always had guns in their hands. We didn't, that's not something... Hashtag me too. That's not something you teach them. That's something to mourn with. But as far as those cows you mentioned, I've got a hundred cows. You just let an Alexandria Cortez show up in my house and try to take my cows away. Yes. I love cows, Jerry. They're delicious. Trump Jr. has no charisma whatsoever. He's as dumb as a doorknob, but yet this dude is probably gonna be president one day, unfortunately. And I don't wanna say that. Like, I don't wanna speak that into existence, but we all know it's true. We all know that he is capable of becoming president in the United States of America. I don't pretend like that's not possible. But on the subject of cancel culture, you know, one individual decided to make a really valid point that nowadays cancel culture has become such an issue that you can't even incite a violent insurrection without getting canceled any longer. Making a being canceled. The last six weeks, the radical left, their corporate allies, the liberal media have tried to cancel me, censor me, expel me, shut me down, stop me from representing the people of Missouri, stop me from representing you. And guess what? I'm here today, I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not backing down, not a chance, not a chance. It's like we're living in North Korea. Like you can't even incite a violent insurrection without the PC mob coming after you. You can't incite a mob without the leftist mob coming after you. Like is he like aware of how stupid he sounds? Is he even aware that he contradicted himself within seconds because he says, you know, speaking of cancel culture, the left tried to cancel me and then he proceeds to explain how, well, even though the PC mob and, you know, the cancel culture goons have come after me, I haven't been canceled. So you're like disproving the power of cancel culture because if you did something really bad and everyone tried to cancel you, but they didn't cancel you, aren't you kind of proving the point that cancel culture isn't actually as bad as you say it is? I just, I don't know what else to say about this. CPAC, it's not like I expect a lot of really good takes or valuable insight into the modern conservative mind. Each year it gets dumber and dumber and dumber. And this year was basically a gigantic pro-Trump circle jerk where they quite literally brought out a statue, a gold statue to idolize Daddy Trump. So, you know, if you watch all of these clips and you think to yourself, man, it seems like Republicans are stupid. That's because they are. This is an ideology that is intellectually and morally bankrupt and they have no ideas that will actually improve society. So what do they do? They focus on owning the libs. They focus on like weird culture war bullshit that isn't actually even important, like cancel culture stuff, Mr. Potato Head. And they produce nothing of value. This is all just like noise. It's them being divisive. And it's nothing more than a circle jerk, but of course I will not miss an opportunity to shit on them because somebody's got to make fun of them. And I humbly accept that as my job, I guess, because why not? I did. I did. I did. I did. Recovery mode my brain, I did. Recovery mode my brain, I did.