 Thanks for checking out this movie review video. This is for the 2019 film Veratica Which is coming to shutter on Thursday September 24th It is a shutter exclusive not a shutter original but shutter exclusive and because of that because it when I'm dropping this The film hasn't even come out yet This is a no spoilers review in case you want to see it and I'm gonna tell you up front You definitely need to see this film. I Was thinking about like continuing to play it out and be like you need to see it because it's Life-changing and so good and everything, but I'm not gonna do that to you. This film is terrible This I've seen so many movies in my life, and this is literally one of the worst films I've ever seen it is that bad, but I say that to say you should see it because it is so bad now If you watch enough of my reviews, you know, I love movies that are so bad They're good now. This kind of fits in that category. So I will you know, give it two numbers at the end for my review because It's so bad. Oh my gosh, and I think I probably will rewatch it at some point But mainly just to show it to other people and be like look at how terrible this film is like It's that bad like literally this is what happens when you have someone who's no good at directing no good at writing But has money and it's a celebrity and they just feel like making a film Like this is what you get and they put no real time into learning the actual craft It seems like Except maybe operating the camera I don't even know if he operated the camera. I would have to look into that. But anyway, it's written and directed by Glenn Danzig yes that Glenn Danzig who was the front man for Misfits Sam Hain and Danzig most well-known song probably mother great song He did great music and that's that is one big plus. I can say for the film. There is really good music in this film As there should be because of who Glenn Danzig is so so good on that He will be directing another film. There's another film on his IMDb credit called death rider in the house of vampires which Based on that title alone. I have got to see this And based off my experience with veritica. I have got to see it I think I'm gonna show this to my wife because she's not gonna believe it I literally texted my best friend during this and was like dude this hit shutter next week You need to see this because when I'm recording this. It's a week prior I was like you have got to see this is so terrible like and he's like is it like the room? By Tommy Wiseau and I was like, you know, it's funny you say that because when I was doing a little research Upfront for this film a lot. I found that a lot of people were likening it to the room but I wouldn't say it's like the room just because I like the room like for me Tommy Wiseau's movie the room. I mean, it's terrible Yes, but it has a lot of rewatch value because it's that funny and entertaining veritica has some of that to it So I guess it is a little bit like it, but it's not nearly as entertaining and not as rewatchable So this falls more into the category of just you know, maybe you probably just want to see it once Just be like wow that was that was something So anyway, this film was done in an anthology style and it has three different stories So I'll give you a little bit of information on each of the stories. No spoilers though And it was based off a series of comic books or that were done by Glenn Danzig's company Veriteek So real original on the you know title of the film just put an A at the end of your company name Danzig says this is a tribute to anthology films like Black Sabbath and trilogy of terror Okay Okay And normally since this is a no spoiler review, I would give a little bit of a synopsis here, but I'm not gonna do that For two reasons one. It's three stories really all kind of pulled together by One person who's kind of like a crypt keeper type character And the other reason being it doesn't matter It doesn't matter what the stories are because it's like there isn't any any ways It's like vague ideas And that's it. There's no like plot. There's no Nothing, it's just it's there So you don't need you don't need the synopsis trust me You know what you're getting into the beginning of it actually has a host that makes me feel a lot like the crypt keeper Trying to be kind of like the crypt keeper. It does start with a kind of cool gore gag So like there is some decent gore to it here and there, but it's not nearly enough for how bad this film is Everything about it is bad just everything the intro credits are way too long and we and I thought you know that as a society we've moved past that with with films you don't have these very long opening credits for films anymore and We move past that Danzig so Just giving you some information for your next film. We have moved past that as a society. We don't do that anymore Don't do that anymore Like I said, the music is good though throughout good music. Good job Danzig. So the first Story is called the albino spider of Dijit Which starts with a very awful long and drawn-out make-out scene which you assume is leading the sex Until something interesting is revealed that made me laugh and then something else interesting is revealed right after that Which made me laugh even more and that's one of the things is this film has so much unintentional laughter that happens sometimes it's because of specific things that happen in the film and Sometimes it's just because at certain points of the film you just have to laugh because you're like this is a film like somebody paid money to make this film like and Just that idea is is funny to me. It's just funny man The concept reveal is very laughable for this story story It's unbelievably excuse me. It's unbelievably aimless. It just meanders. It doesn't really go anywhere, but that's kind of All of all three of the stories are very much that way They have like a very vague concept and then it's like they're like, okay That's all the work. I really want to do is just come up with like a vague comps concept So then let's just like make the whole rest of it filler. So really this is like a five-minute Short story film or short film. It's like a five-minute short film, but it's a half an hour But and but this one is my favorite one the first one the albino spider of Digit is my favorite one because it makes me Laugh the most and it's the most absurd So you'll see what I mean after that it's kind of like diminishing returns as far as so bad It's good with the stories and the last one just being Just boring just unbelievably pointless and stupid and boring and no story to it And yeah, so anyway, I won't ruin that too much The second story is change of face Which is a very straightforward story and I wrote down that subtlety is not in Glendad Danzig's vocabulary at all. He's very upfront with everything all of his characters Are the worst written characters I've ever seen they just if they need to Let the audience know that they're experiencing anything or thinking about anything they literally say it like that's one of the biggest no-nos in writing Stories or film or whatever. That's one of the biggest no-nos in writing is that you show you don't tell like you can Infer things and through actions and stuff like that the characters can let people know things but straight up saying I am sad right now Why would you know it's just like? Whoo, man. Oh, man There's an obsession with lens flares in the second story and pole dancing at the same time There's so much stripper pole dancing in this That's the that's the film like that's the story basically is what it seems like is It's about the pole dancing and the lens flares that go on with it go along with it A lot of people say who are in film is that lens flares are for people who think they're auteurs But are really awful filmmakers and Yeah On full display here for sure The story idea is not very new or deep or interesting all that much But it is a decent enough vague idea that someone else could take that and actually make something interesting out of it I'd like to see someone who knows how to write and direct and you know make a film take that idea and do something fun with it I mean you could even turn it into a horror comedy and it would be a good concept to so There's a concept that someone someone could do something with it's just not Danzig Just saying and then the third story is Drakisha Contessa of blood now this one is supposedly based off of the story of Elizabeth Bathory Which I'm not gonna you know tell you her backstory if you know you know if you don't you can look it up Or you can just watch this and you'll understand what it is But even the fact that the story was already There for Danzig to use he didn't do anything with it He just took the vague concept of who or of Kind of who not even who Elizabeth Bathory was but one thing that she did He just took the concept of one thing she did and then just made that the whole focus with no story Once again, it's like I have an hour and it's just like okay There's really crappy green screen in this and and you can tell like immediately that it's green screen This one acts like seeing boobs is enough to entertain people for 30 minutes Can someone please tell Danzig that it's 2020 and there's free pornography on the internet I'm just saying like it seems like he doesn't get it that like Boobs are not a draw for a film Yes, I know in the 80s that they would have bad horror films and then they would put boobs in it to increase You know the viewership increase people's wants to see it But you can't make that the purpose because it really seems like the sexuality and the nudity of this film is the film and Then everything that comes like all the story that comes with it was total afterthought Like maybe even thought up as they were filming. I don't even know like It's obvious that Danzig likes sex. Okay Good for you Danzig, but we don't need to know like you don't need to visualize that for us We don't care everybody likes sex for the most part. We get it Okay, so that that's it for each of the individual things it's garbage Horrible acting the acting is just atrocious The directing is not good and the writing is even worse Especially the dialogue the dialogue is so so bad. I wrote this down has Danzig ever met real people That's a legitimate question after watching this because he seems to have no concept of how people actually talk and how people actually act It's totally disjointed. It makes absolutely no sense People would never talk the way that he writes dialogue people would never do the things that he writes It did none of it makes sense like I wrote scripts better than this when I was in high school That's totally true 100% I've made a few independent films way better than this way better, and they're not very good Way better than this. It's terrible There's no real concept of how long shots should go because a lot of them go way way way way way way too long And how long a storyline should go for that matter really? Especially when there's no depth or any real story This film seems it was made by someone in love with the idea of making a movie But devoid of any talent to do so and devoid of any desire to find out how to really make a film The thing is this Rob Zombie Was the lead singer of white zombie he went on to make films. I don't love all his stuff But I enjoyed Lords of Salem, and I thought Devils rejects is a good film other than that I don't really like his stuff, but he can make a film Even though I have problems with this stuff Danzy just can't make a film like I Say this to say that Rob zombies the exception You know just because you're famous just because you have money just because you wove horror into some of your music at some point in time Doesn't mean that you can make a film Rob zombie is the exception people don't look at him and think that you can do what he does And the last thing I have to say is the film is so sex obsessed that it seems like that was the primary goal Danzig should just go ahead and direct porn because watching this film It just made you feel like why is he not just directing porn because that's obviously what he really wants. I Don't get it. Like just make that leap Danzig just make everyone happier like make porn You could even make horror themed porn That is a thing and or parody porn or whatever just just do that instead man You'd be more successful Seriously, you would be more successful But you're still gonna need to learn how to direct because poor directors still have to direct You can't just be like yeah, just do it Whoo, man, that film is a doozy. It is a doozy, but I would love love love to hear everyone's comments on it So really put your comments down there on your thoughts be as funny as you can obviously because we all know It's a terrible film. We all know that so let let's have fun with it down there Let's really have fun with it I I will see Danzig's next film I will because after this one, it's like I don't see it getting better I really don't and I just I just want to see more garbage like this. I just I Don't know. There's something about me. I love seeing terrible films So anyway, let's go ahead and do the two the two star ratings on this one So as an actual film in the pantheon of all film I can I only give half stars out like I don't go lower than that But I'm gonna make an exception because this film is what it is. I'm going zero stars on this film This is the only film I will give zero stars to because I have too much respect for people making film otherwise But as a so bad it's good film It's not even that great as a so bad. It's film guys as a so bad It's good film if the entire film was what the first story is I might be able to bump it up in the so bad. It's good star rating, but it just keep it just goes downhill Overall after the first one, so I'm gonna give it one and a half stars as far as a so bad It's good. I mean Yeah, that's like a one viewing some people might say two stars One and a half to two whatever Anyway, like I said comments, let's talk about this one Do me a quick favor though hit that subscribe button if you like this review if you like any reviews If you like any single video I've done because I do unboxings as well I do live streams all that stuff, but that's your way to repay me for watching movies like this And not being able to have that time repaid to me. So No, I enjoyed I enjoyed laughing at it, but yeah, just hit that subscribe for me I really do appreciate it and also hit the notification bell because that way you know when I'm putting up new videos or when I'm live streaming All that jazz, but regardless, thanks for checking this out and until next time keep it brutal