 و أقول في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزل و أقول قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي و لا أتأواله أسأل can you break down a way for us to work towards achieving forbearance and good manners not only towards our parents but also towards our siblings الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله و رسوله نبينا محمد و على آياته و صاحبه و جمعين this is a very comprehensive question and an excellent question working towards achieving al-Hilm and achieving good manners towards parents and siblings is something which is a lifelong effort really it's something which you have to continuously work at it's not something which comes necessarily easily or necessarily comes after the first try there is a narration which mentions that حلم إنما الحلم بتحلم that حلم or forbearance and forbearance is not being quick to take retribution not being quick to have a go back at somebody not being quick to seek revenge or to reply or to respond to somebody it comes from التحلم it comes from practicing it it comes from imagining yourself to be like that and trying to implement it day after day and week after week and sometimes falling short in terms of good manners towards our parents and our siblings I think the first thing is to realize their status to appreciate their status I think when we understand and perhaps if we go over the Muslim family course Insha'Allah you would see the status of the parents the close relatives the siblings and so on and knowing that status and knowing the reward of keeping ties with them and knowing the punishment of the one who breaks the ties with them that is something which is a big motivator to keep those good manners going but ultimately it does require a change in mindset it requires a person to not to have that mindset of excuses of that I can't because they're not nice to me or it's been difficult for me but to actually say no, this is my duty to Allah it's not about them as people it's not the fact that they are treating me well or not treating me well but this is about me and Allah and it starts with correcting the relationship between you and Allah Sufiyan Ibn U'ayyina رحم الله تعالى he said كان العلمة و فيما مضى يكتبون بعضهم إلى بعض الكنيمات and among the things that the dilemma the scholars they used to write to one another is من أصلح ما بينه وبين الله أصلح الله ما بينه وبين الناس whoever corrects what's between them and Allah will correct what is between them and the people so correcting what's between you and Allah a change in the mindset and constantly trying to respond in the way that is better وَلَا تَسْتَوِي حَسَنَتُ وَلَا سَيْئَا إِدَ فَعَبْ بِلَّةِهِ أَحْسَنْ respond in the way that is better and trying to achieve the moral high ground trying to be the one that always responds in the way that is better and taking yourself to account when you don't when you fall short saying seeking forgiveness from Allah and then seeking forgiveness from them and then trying again and keep on training yourself change that mindset see yourself as being a person who can be for bearing who can have the best of manners learn and learn and learn and learn and every time you learn something about this try your best to put it into practice I think that is the kind of cycle and the kind of process through which you'd be able to do that it is a comprehensive question and that is what Allah made easy for me to mention and Allah most best if you have any questions you'd like to see answered as part of this series and you can email us at questionsatamau.org