 What's up? So I had a question from a viewer. He wrote me and obviously people come to me for advice and he asked me this. He said I had a situation with an ex-girlfriend of his. So apparently they hooked up recently and she decided to dump him after they hooked up because he couldn't get it up. And then afterwards they ended up seeing each other a while later. She comes and she's telling him about how she's dating this new guy who's totally satisfying her in the bedroom and he's got like you know a bigger tool than he has and all of this stuff yeah so it was bad obviously he was very distraught after hearing all of this stuff you know why would a woman say this is there is this really that important to them these are kind of the questions that I get from a lot of men because and women know this one of our deepest insecurities is how we perform in the bedroom so what happened here well the first thing that I said when after I heard this story I said hey man one of two things is happening either you're dealing with someone who is a complete and utter terrible human being or you did something terrible to her to make her act this way my guess is it's probably a little bit of both and turns out from the messages I wasn't far off so it turns out like he had done something I'm not gonna get into specific details of it but basically he was texting some other girl they were sexting and so what happened was that now she feels to feel she starts feeling sexually inadequate because he's texting the sexing this other person apparently she never got over it and now she's still being angry at him for it and she's trying to get back at him by making him feel inadequate sexually this is usually what happens like nine times out of ten whenever a woman is speaking badly about a guy's performance in the bedroom not all the time but a lot of the time it's because he did some to piss her off in some way shape or form somewhere else you know honestly maybe he didn't call her back and she's bitter about that or whatever so that's the only time women usually talk about that sort of stuff not every time there are some mean spirited women out there that are just suffering from you know a lot of hurt within themselves and they lash out at men in general and so that's what they say things like that but in my opinion most of the time that's what's happening so what should you do if you were in a position like this okay if you were in a position where a woman is speaking badly or you know talking about your sexual performance in the bedroom like you're not doing a good job or whatever maybe she's talking about it to her friends or to other people how should you react okay first of all number one do not let it affect you I understand it's gonna get underneath your skin and that's why they're saying it in the first place okay don't let it get underneath your skin realize that it's probably something else going on that she's really mad about okay because the truth is when it comes to performance in the bedroom it usually can be worked out especially if it's a one-time thing the only time I really only tell a woman's ever really gonna leave you if you have a one-time bad sexual performance is if it's a one-night stand and that's the only reason why she's there is to hook up right so if you are in that position yes it's gonna matter but if you've been seeing that person for a while like he was you know next girlfriend type situation then there's probably other things going on so realize that there's other things going on don't look at what she's saying look at why she's probably saying it okay so first thing don't let it affect you if you don't let it affect you you can move on to this next stage so for instance she comes at you she's saying hey you couldn't get it up like you don't know what you're doing blah blah blah like I'm gonna find another guy you can satisfy me you're just like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hey is is everything okay like is everything alright between us like you know did I do something to hurt you you know if I did I'm very sorry like is everything alright and you come to her with that kind of attitude where clearly you're not making about you you're not getting defensive you're not shouting shouting things back hey well you did this and you know you are blah blah don't say any of that stuff you just come with you come with a sense of love of caring and above all you don't let those like things that she's trying to hurt you hurt you because if she can get underneath your skin she's gonna try harder to keep doing it it shows a little a level of insecurity so you show confidence and then you show caring and love towards her I can almost guarantee you that will diffuse the situation and then you'll be able to get to the bottom of this if he had done this she probably would have said yeah look listen like I just can't stand that you were sexting that girl and I haven't gotten over it yet you know I might have not have said it in those words might have taken some time to get to there but at least it opens it up for that conversation and you can diffuse the situation very easily you know with my clients with my my own personal life I've never had a situation where a woman's literally just spreading lies just because like you know she just wants to say that this guy was inadequate in the bedroom okay if she likes you she'll never do that the only time I've seen that is when something else happened that she got really pissed off about either maybe he had sex with her ones and never called her again even though he said he would and then just kind of like discarded and treated her like dirt or you know something like this happened more likely that you know he ended up flirting or dating or hooking up or cheated on her or something some shape or form that thing kind of happened and now she's trying to get back in for that because she feels sexually inadequate so she's gonna try and make him feel sexually inadequate as well too it's kind of a tit for tat kind of thing that's usually how people that's usually how people in general will react to situations so if that ever happens to you guys don't think that like your sexual performance in the bedroom is like the be all end all when it comes to women yes it does matter yes if you want to get better at that you should watch other videos on my channel but deeper connection you know treating people with respect you know being confident like those kinds of things are gonna matter a lot more in the grand scheme of things and ultimately if those things are threatened they're gonna turn to the stuff that's gonna hurt you the most and usually that's that all right well if you say to the end my name is Lloyd I come up with videos like this every single week so thanks for watching you guys if you made it and consider subscribing and good luck out there you guys