 Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so. And your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Anderson's, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. To determine the sex of a gossip, we offer a positive plan. A gossip is always a woman, except when the gossip's a man. There's a little bit of gossip in the best of us, isn't there? Not that we want to talk about people, perish, forbid. But, well, one thing leads to another, and you know how it is. That's the way it is with the Anderson's at any rate. They'd rather die than gossip about their friends. And they don't, except on very rare occasions, like this. Janie, she didn't. She did? Well. Betty. Just a minute, Father. Janie, you know I don't like to talk about people. But, well, Marion didn't exactly see her, but her cousin Phyllis has a friend. Betty, for the love of Pete, I've got to use the phone. Just a minute, Janie. Father, this is very important. Nothing can be that important. It's almost 2 o'clock, and you've been on the phone since noon. Father, don't be ridiculous. I'm not being ridiculous, and get off the phone. OK, I'll be true in two seconds. Hello, Janie, where were we? Betty. Oh, Marion's cousin Phyllis's friend. She's the girl who runs the lending library's sister. She was standing right there, and she told Phyllis. Betty, give me that phone. Father, please. I said give it to me. Don't you want to see who's at the door? All right, but as soon as I come back, I want the phone. Jumping creepers. A person can't even talk for five minutes. Two hours. So help me, she'll wind up with a cauliflower ear. Jan, the doorbell rang. I know, honey. I'm answering it. Hello, Jan. Hello, Elizabeth. Come on in. Well, you look like your best friend just told you. Not on the phone, he didn't. What's that? What? Oh, you mean Richard. Sing for the nice man, angel. Such a sweet thing. I'd be lost without him. Where's Margaret? I think she's still in the kitchen. Margaret, Elizabeth Smith and Richard are here. Who? Elizabeth Smith and Richard. Richard is a canary. Well, he is. Look at him. Oh, isn't he a joy? Sing for the nice man, Richard. I suppose when you got him, he wouldn't do a thing. Well, Elizabeth, what a lovely surprise. Margaret, darling. Father? Just a minute, Benny. Elizabeth, show Margaret your trick. My what? It's very good. I mean, it really is. This is a hearts-marking roller and one of the finest singers in the world. Watch this. Sing for the nice lady, Richard. Remarkable, isn't it? Jim, really. Don't pay any attention to him, dear. He's in a mood. I'm not in a mood. I'm making polite conversation. Well, Elizabeth, you look wonderful. Well, I don't feel wonderful. That's why I'm going to my mother's. You aren't. She just said she was. Jim, please. Can I even listen? Father, I'm through with the phone. No. I am going to use it right now. Go ahead, dear. All right. But Elizabeth, will you please explain one thing? Why the canary? Jim. There's nothing mysterious about it. I just want Margaret to take care of Richard while I'm at my mother's. That's what I thought. And we'll be glad to, won't we, Angel? Yes. Well, excuse me, Elizabeth. I have to make phone calls. Why don't you go right ahead? Men, aren't they the nosiest things you ever saw? Well, I better than nothing, I suppose. Now we're a refuge for homeless canaries, Richard. Next thing you know, they'll be parking their husbands over here. He's so well housebroken. Hello, Sam. This is Jim Anderson. Fine. Say, Sam, about the game tomorrow night, would you mind playing over here? Well, Helen Phillips has a cold. And George said, what? Oh, the usual crowd. Jim Hathaway, Ed Davis, Hector. Say, wait a minute. Maybe Hector won't be here. Oh, Elizabeth's going home to her mother's. And hold on, Sam. I'll ask. Elizabeth? Yes, Jim? I'll be right with you, Sam. Elizabeth, is Hector going with you? To my mother's? If it's no, this is going to be a vacation. Oh, well, then it's all right to count on him for the poker game tomorrow. Well, I wouldn't count on Hector for anything. He hasn't been home one night since he got that Betsy Ross candy account. Keeping him pretty busy, huh? Night and day, I don't think he even knows I'm leaving. Well, I'll mention it to him next time I see him. Thank you, dear. You're so sweet. Oh, you just say that because it's true. Hello, Sam. Sorry to keep you waiting. No, Elizabeth's going alone. But we'd better not count on Hector. Well, he's got this new deal with Betsy Ross. And oh, no, it's been going on for some time. Well, don't worry about it, Sam. We'll get somebody. OK, see you tomorrow, 8 o'clock over here. Right. Good night, Sam. Say, Elizabeth, where are you going? I'm going home. Do you have any objections? Of course not. But leave her alone, Jim. She's got all her packing to do. No, I don't think I'll ever get it finished. What time does it train leave? 9 o'clock. Well, if Hector can't take you to the station. Well, he better take me to the station. Betsy Ross or no Betsy Ross. Don't worry about Richard, dear. We'll take extra special care of him. Won't we, Jim? Sure. See that he gets a lettuce leaf every day and be careful that he doesn't get his feet wet. We'll be careful, dear. I'll give him a rub down every night. Jim. Bye. Goodbye, Elizabeth. Have a wonderful time. Thank you. Give my regards to Broadway. Jim Anderson, when you decide to act silly. Mom. Telling Elizabeth you'd give Richard a rub down. Well, what did she want me to do? Taking for a walk around the block? Hey, Mom, where'd the canary come from? We're mining it for Mrs. Smith. Too bad about the divorce, isn't it? What divorce? Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But. But how many times have I talked to you about carrying tails? I'm not carrying tails. I just said it was too bad about the divorce. That's all I said. I knew it. Honey. I knew Elizabeth wasn't running off to her mothers for no reason at all. Good grief, Margaret. Just because a 15-year-old boy comes in with a wild story. It isn't a wild story, Dad. Stevie Long said his mother said she even saw the broken dishes. What broken dishes? The ones Mrs. Smith threw at Mr. Smith. Jim, how horrible. I don't believe it. Why, she was just here. Wouldn't she have said something? I think she did. Don't you remember? She said you couldn't count on Hector for anything. And then she complained about being left alone. But Hector was working. She knew that. Did she? That's the question. Honey, you've known Hector as long as I have. Does he look like the sort to? Well, does he? Good grief. We're in here, Angel. Mommy, do you know what I just heard Mrs. Phillips tell Mrs. Hathaway? Helen Phillips. Now, there's a great authority for you. Jim, please. She couldn't tell the right time if she had big Ben sticking out of her ear. Jim. Well, I wouldn't believe anything she said if. What'd she say, Kathy? Well, Jim, she's only a child. And this whole thing. But she already knows. Whatever it is she knows. Don't you kid? I guess so. All right, what did Mrs. Phillips say? Well, she said that somebody told her that Mr. Smith was running around with Dolly Madison. Kathy. Holy cow. Kathy, go up to bed. But you told me to tell you. Abraham Lincoln. Margaret, where are you going? I'm going to call Elizabeth Smith. Well, wait a minute. Let's talk it over first. There isn't anything to talk over. I'm not going to let two wonderful people like Hector and Elizabeth do anything foolish. Of course not. But a beautiful home. A wonderful sunlight, Billy. It's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Say, I've got an idea. Let's have them over for dinner. But, Jim. You call Elizabeth. I'll call Hector, and Betty can call Billy. What good will that do? Don't you see it might make all the difference in the world. We'll show them how a really happy family can and should operate. Well? Where are we going to get the happy family? Ah! We're the happy family. Oh. You know, it might work at that. Can I play, too? We're all going to play. We're going to put the Smith family back together again if we have to use glue. If we can just convince them, oh dear. What's the matter now? We're having lamb chops. And if the Smiths are coming, it won't be half enough. But you'll have to run down to the market. It's Kathy's turn. I mean, I can't carry a big, heavy package. This is meat. We can't afford a big, heavy package. Dad, any time anybody has to go, any place. Stop arguing, bud. You can both go. Holy cow. Gee whiz. And look, both of you, no matter who it is, you're not to say one word about the Smiths to anyone. Is that understood? Yes, sir. Yes, daddy. After all, we don't want to start a lot of gossip. Do we? Can the Andersons believe the rumors they've heard? Well, that's the trouble with gossip. You can never be certain. But about some things you can always be sure. Take coffee, for instance. When it comes to truly good coffee, rich, satisfying coffee with a flavor you enjoy, cup after cup, you can count on Maxwell House coffee every time. And you know that's exactly what most folks do. Yes, more people buy and enjoy our Maxwell House coffee than any other brand at any price. The reason, of course, is flavor. Wonderful good to the last drop flavor you get in no other coffee, only Maxwell House. Know why? Well, coffee grows all over the world in countless grades and varieties. But on the mile high mountain plateaus of Latin America, there grow a few select extra flavorful varieties. And it is these that first and foremost are chosen for Maxwell House. For example, fancy Manizales coffees are selected for fragrant mellowness, superb mellons for extra richness, choice Bucaramangas coffees for fine, full body. And only Maxwell House knows how to blend these superb vintage coffees in exactly the right proportions to create that world-famous good to the last drop flavor. No other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee is made like Maxwell House. You'll see what I mean the very first time you pour a fragrant flavorful cup of our Maxwell House coffee. It's the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. The dinner hour is close at hand in the White Frame House on Maple Street. And the most inviting meal has been prepared for the Smiths. Lamb chops and succulent garden peas, snowy white potatoes with islands of yellow butter and an oven full of Margaret's delicious biscuits. And that isn't all. The Anderson's have made some other preparations as well, like this. Daddy, a car just drove up. Let me see. It's Mr. Smith, but he's alone. I know, the others will be along later. Now, do you kids remember what I told you? Yes, Daddy. All right, as soon as he rings the bell. Jim, don't you think you're overdoing this a little? Of course not. We've got to look like a happy family, don't we? I suppose so. And what looks happier than a group of bright-eyed children? All right, places, everybody? I don't think I can stand this. Now look, Margaret. Let me know when Elizabeth gets here. I'm going back to the kitchen. That's the trouble with this world. There are too many cynics. Hey, that's pretty good. Kitchen, cynics, get it? Answer the door. I thought it was pretty good. Mom said... I said answer the door. That's what I'm doing. Fine sense of humor this family has. All right, girls, remember, look happy. Greetings, Mr. Smith. Welcome to our happy home. Don't the Andersons live here? Sure, I'm Bud, remember? Well, the face is familiar, but I can't place the voice. Oh, hi, Jim. Well, my old friend Hector Smith. What a wonderful surprise. Didn't you invite me to dinner? Of course. And what's the big surprise? I mean, we're glad you could make it. Aren't we, girls? Yes, Father, we certainly are. What are they supposed to be, Meredith Wilson's talking people? They're just my happy little girls. Aren't you, girls? Yes, Father. I'm happy, too. You know, I'm beginning to think, have I got all my clothes on? Naturally. Then why is everybody staring at me? We didn't mean to stare at you, Mr. Smith. We're just happy. I think I'll go home. Wait a minute. Let's go into the dead. We'll be more comfortable. OK. Would you like us to come to, Dad? That won't be necessary, Bud. You and the girls can stay here and be happy. I'll call you when dinner's ready, Father. We'll all call you. Thank you very much. What's the matter, Jim? The kid's playing too hard or something? I don't think so. Why? I was just wondering. Say, Elizabeth isn't here yet, is she? No, not yet. Sit down, Hector. Oh, thanks. Oh, boy, does that feel good. You know, I was saying to Margaret just the other day. I should have had my brains examined when I took that Betsy Ross account. It's murder. Yes. I was saying to Margaret just the other day. You know, I haven't had a night off in weeks. You know, Hector, I was saying to Margaret. Father. Betty, Mr. Smith and I. But this will only take a second, Father, dear. Would you like me to bring you your slippers? No, thank you, Betty. I'm quite comfortable. Well, if you need anything, just call. All right, dear. Goodbye. I'm just a liner with her. Nothing, she just, you know, Hector, marriage is like an ocean liner. You run into all kinds of weather. Daddy. Kathy, I'm trying to talk to Mr. Smith. I know, bring you a pillow or something. Why? So you'll be more comfortable. Oh, well, I'm quite comfortable as I am getting, but thank you just the same. You're welcome. Goodbye. Jim, what's going on around here? Why, not a thing. What were we talking about? We weren't talking about anything. Hey, don't those kids ever leave you alone? Sure. Oh, I know. Hector, you'll find as you sail your ship on the troubled sea of matrimony. It's enough to drive a guy nuts. Hector, will you please let me finish? Oh, well, go ahead. All right. Now I don't remember what I was saying. You were talking about boats. Oh, that's right. You see, Hector, marriage is like a boat. I know, they can both make you sick. Look, if you'd rather make jokes. Say, Dad. Good grief. What is it, Bud? Would you like me to run down to the drug store or mow the lawn or anything? What for? I don't know. Bud, excuse me a minute. Will you heck, I have to fix something in the hall. OK. While you're at it, why don't you tell the kids about boats and things? Bud, how do you expect me to accomplish anything if you keep running in and out of the den? I wasn't running in and out of the den. Is it working, Father? And you're another one. What? Every time I open my mouth, one of you sticks his head in. Do we see? You sound like the swing shift in a boiler factory. But you said? I said we had to make Mr. Smith lonesome for his family. Did we? We sure did. I think he's leaving for Siberia in the morning. For a vacation? Yes. Oh. I don't know why it is, but any time I ask you kids to do anything. We were only trying to help, Father. Well, you did a great job. You're welcome. It's time I stick my neck out. Oh, hello, Elizabeth. Where is he? Where is that worm? Why, Elizabeth? After I gave him the best years of my life. The best years of my life. Why don't you kids go into the kitchen? We'll have to do stuff. Go ahead and stop arguing. Come on, bud. Holy cow. Gee, we just want to get interesting. Now look, Elizabeth. Elizabeth, I thought I heard Mark. What's the matter? Keep away from me. Don't you dare touch me. What? Hector, why don't we all sit down and talk it over? Talk what over? People staring at me, sympathizing with me. For what? What did you do? What did I do? Look, Hector, this whole thing. What thing? I don't know what you're talking about. Won't do you any good, Hector Smith? I know all about that woman on Madison Avenue. What woman on Madison Avenue? Barbara Fritchie. Barbara Fritchie, do I, Jim? Of course not. It's Dolly Madison. Look, look, Elizabeth, I don't know what this is all about. All I know is Jim called me at the office. Stay away from me. Jim, do you know what she's talking about? I don't like to say anything, Hector, but after all, well, you had to expect something like this, didn't you? You mean this comes with the dinner? 20 years. 20 long years. And he throws me away like an old glove. Oh, I think I'm going nuts. Nothing makes any sense. Now, wait a minute, both of you. This is the sort of thing a lot of married people have to go through. What is? A period of readjustment, of getting things straightened out. After all, Hector's in that dangerous age, aren't you, Hector? Oh, I'm a real dangerous fella. Angel, you're there. Everything's going to be all right. Jim, be a good guy. What did I do? Heck, you don't have to pretend with me. I don't, huh? Of course not. You're with me in spite of everything, huh? In spite of everything. OK, but tell me one thing. What did I do? Well, if you want it like that, excuse me. Now, let me see. I was sitting in my office in the phone room. Then I said, hello. And he said, would you like to come over for dinner? And then I said, sure. And he said, where is he? Where is my father? He's right here, Billy. Oh, my boy. I don't know. We've got to be fair. We've got to let him tell his side of the story. Don't we, Mr. Anderson? That seems reasonable. All right. We're listening, Father. Go ahead with your story. OK. There were these two Irishmen patting my ass. Let's not make a mockery of it. Of what? I'll handle this, Mother. After all, I'm the man of the family. Father, all these nights that you were supposed to be working at the office. Suppose? What do you mean, suppose? Hector, it's all over the neighborhood. It won't do you any good to deny it. Deny what? About you and Molly Pitcher? Heck? It isn't any use, Jim. If he won't even confess. How can I confess I haven't done anything? Heck, why don't you make a clean breast of it? Of what? Then Elizabeth can forgive you and you can start life all over again. I don't want to start life all over again. I'm having enough trouble the way it is. Father, won't you please tell us the truth? Who is Molly Pitcher? I don't know. What are you kids doing back there? They were eavesdropping. Bad, aren't you ashamed? All right, bud. Come on out. You too, Kathy. Hiya, Dad. How's every little old thing? Oh, gosh, no. The curtain just got in the way, sort of. Well, we'll go into that later. Now, what's this about Molly Pitcher? We're studying about her in school. She carried water for the soldiers. And she shot off a cannon. In the revolution. That's fine, but that isn't. Wait a minute. Poor Billy. Betty, be quiet and leave Billy's hand alone. Oh, I don't mind, Mrs. Anderson. What a bunch of fools. Who? All of us. Don't you see what happened? Molly Pitcher and Barbara Fritchie and Dolly Madison? Sounds like an all-American harem. Hector. Somebody started a rumor about Betsy Ross and it twisted and turned all out of shape. You see, I've been telling you kids for years, not to believe the wild stories you hear. You mean somebody's been talking about me? Hector, have you really been working every night? Of course I've been working every night. What do you suppose Betsy Ross pays me for? And there wasn't anybody else? Elizabeth, you know I wouldn't look at anybody else. Not even sideways. Oh, Hector. I'm so ashamed. Me too. I think we're all a little ashamed, aren't we? I am. I'm just hungry. Oh, dear, I forgot all about the lamb chops. Everybody go into the dining room and I'll be right with you. Say, Jim, guess who do you suppose could have started it? All that talk about me, I mean. I don't know. But if I ever do find out, so help me, I'll wring his scrawny little neck. That's my pal. Yes, sir. A few pleasures that give so much satisfaction day in and day out as truly good coffee. And throughout the country, that means our Maxwell house, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand. Why? Because of flavor, rich, tempting flavor that just naturally makes the world look rosier somehow. You'll see, first time you try a fragrant, heartwarmingly good cup of our Maxwell house coffee. After that first satisfying sip, you'll know why America loves Maxwell house best. Then just count all the truly good cups you get from each pound. You'll agree it's Maxwell house for value too. So at your grocers, look for the big white cup and drop on the familiar blue tin of Maxwell house. Take home the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. The dinner is over, and the Smiths, solidly reunited, have wended their homeward way. But the evening at the Anderson's isn't quite over, nor is the gossip like this. Dad. I'm in here, bud. Dad, there's a Mr. Workman wants to see you. Workman? Oh, he's that friend of Mr. Gribbles. Be right with you, Mr. Workman. Not at all. Not at all. Bud, tell your mother we'll probably need some more coffee. You bet, Dad. Well, Mr. Workman, how are you? Mr. Anderson? I do hope you won't resent this intrusion. Intrusion? Why, this is a pleasure. Won't you sit down? Thank you. Now, what can I do for you? Well, sir, as head of the Springfield Branch of the State Historical Society, I should like your advice on a matter of great importance. Naturally, anything I can do. I was sure you'd feel that way. Well, sir, you know Hector Smith, don't you? Of course. Well, sir, I've been trying to find the source of a very authentic rumor. About heck? Exactly. Do you know that Hector Smith is a direct descendant of Martha Washington? Oh, no. Boy, I'm happy. Got a new love. Good looking. Beautiful. Gorgeous cherry red. Lip? Heck no. I'm talking about cherry, jello, fruit rich and delicious. My favorite flavor is strawberry, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. All six jello flavors are delicious and so easy to fix. Easy on the grocery bill, too. Yup, thrifty to buy. Easy to make jello for red-letter desserts. So off to the cupboard you go and reach for J-E-L-L-O. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Boggy and the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast were Ted Donaldson as Bud, Gene Vanderpile, Rhoda Williams, Norma Jean-Nelson, Herb Bygren, Irene Teddrow, Sam Edwards, Alan Harris, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jane. Join Mr. Keen, Tracer of Lost Persons, tonight on NBC.