 By transcription stick around folks stick around why because today is the day for the great news in the my friend Irma march of dimes contest May I start with a riddle? Thank you Watch the difference between Irma and a doughnut the village philosopher said Well, one has a hole in the middle and the other has a hole in the head I Glad you brought up poetry because I have a poem about ends. Well, let's hear it Tell me and Billy were two little boys and they were very good friends One day they hawk their mother's teeth so their father whacked both of their ends Well friends if you ask me Irma's rhymes are literary crimes and speaking of crimes That's what triple O is because it's so easy to stop with ends chlorophyll tablets Yes ends e n n d s stop triple O stop odors of body odors of breath odor offense Stop all three all at the same time keep you fresh as a daisy all day all over It's amazing, but one or two tiny ends tablets daily are all you need to stop triple O And now in America's most popular chlorophyll tablets and proud to present your favorite comedy show Created by Cy Howard and starring Marie Wilson as Irma and Kathy Lewis is Jane in my Friend Irma. Yes. Yes, honey. What are you reading? Oh, it's just an article on psychology is applied to marriage a series of questions designed to see if a girl and the man of her Choice is suited for each other. Isn't that unusual? Well, no, why should it be? Well when Alan I sit on the sofa. He never asked me any questions and we get along fine Well, you know, there's more to it than that This article approaches the problem of compatibility with scientific introspection. Well, maybe I can learn something read it to me All right, honey See does the man you intend to marry keep appointments? Is he punctual? punctual? Why Alan's in line for his unemployment check even before the office is open Marked down one One yeah now is he the type of man you would ever be ashamed to be seen with no because we never go any place. No Do the two of you like to participate in sports, well, I like swimming in tennis. Yeah, what about Al? Jane is tilting pinball machine to sport Well, if they catch you, yeah Do you like dancing? Yeah, does your boyfriend? No, do you like to go to the theater? Yeah, does your boyfriend only when he has a pass? Well according to this psychological test the two of you just don't click Well, maybe you're right Jane lately. I've been having my doubts, too. Well, what are you gonna do about it? Well, I will be here any minute and I'm gonna give him one more chance either. He'll change her. This is the end and Well, that's up to you Hello, Jane. Hey chicken No, wait a minute, Jane me. You don't even want to hear about my new deal Wait, oh, you will love this. It's a racing form printed on a large cookie. So after a day at the track You still got something to eat I Sound good, huh? I can only say if you find you have anything in common with this man get rid of it Snooty dame she ain't never gonna amount to anything Al I'd like to go to the theater tonight Will you please take me she can why this sudden request Ali? It's very important for us You see you and I are a psychopathic cases What are you talking about chicken I insist you take me to the theater, but honey I ain't got a pass. They got a big door man and the clinch it. They're painting the fire escape They're way in hey chicken you are tampering with my principal No use out with nothing in common we might as well face it you and I need a scientific inspection Well, we're not combustible Don't you mean compatible? What's the difference what I mean? We're just not for each other She can you mean that yes, Al. Let us just consider this whole experience is an interlude a life Chicken you're nuts. That's beside the point. This is the end chicken. I don't know what to say But if you think you'll find more happiness with another here's your ring back Maybe you'll change your mind someday to buy over There's well kid. I Won't ever forget you don't feel sad Nami armor the worst is over now you try to forget it believe me. It's for the best You're really in an enviable position. You have the whole world before you were my your foot loose and fancy-free But loose and fancy-free sure now dry those tears. Come on. Let's have a smile. Come on. Go on now. Let me hear you laugh All right, that's more like it you be gay, huh? Come in Zombie me professor Hello, Jane, you know about my two little jigsaw puzzle one complete one a few pieces are missing A little joke I picked up in the toy store. Yeah, what's new? What is this? Professor I'm put loose and faster Alan Irma have parted and she's trying to be gay Finally happened. I knew it would someday. No, don't feel so badly I'm a remember there's an old saying a stitch in time will save nine How does that apply to me? It don't this is a slogan for tail But there is there is a very old saying that I do like it takes a heap of living to make a home Well, well, I think I'll go up to my home and clean out that heap so I can live it Take I'll never find another man like Al. You made a decision Irma. Don't be a weakling. Oh, I I guess you're right, Jane I'm just gonna look around for someone else. That's fine Who can that be maybe it's I'll come back a man. You want a surprise you remember my roommate Jane Hello violence, I'll see you later honey. Bye Here I get the stone wish you all the happiness Look Irma It was my husband and I ran into Al someday and I could say here's a man with triple O Let's listen as he asks his drug is what to do Can you give me really effective protection against triple O odors of breath odors of body and odor offense? I've never found any old-fashioned deodorant that could take care of all three. Yes ends chlorophyll tablets Stop all three at the same time stop triple O It's the new safe and pleasant way to stay fresh as a daisy all over all day long But how about these cheaper chewing gum or candy products? They contain chlorophyll too, but look at any of them Nowhere does the label state how much chlorophyll it contains why you're right now look at the ends label It states very clearly that ends contain 100 milligrams of daratol chlorophyll are fully effective dose That's why only one or two tiny ends tablets a day stop triple O Stop all three odor offenses all day long But don't expect such long lasting results from cheaper chewing gum or candy substitutes that contain so little chlorophyll Ends are so effective because they start acting instantly inside the body where odors begin So for pennies a day you get ends longer lasting protection They're pleasant tasting safe to safe as any garden vegetable get E N and DS Ends chlorophyll tablets and be sure you stop triple O Trial size only 49 cents at drug counters everywhere larger sizes even more economical and now back to my friend Irma Well Irma has enrolled at the Lonely Hearts Club I don't know why she did it, but I suppose if it was good enough for violet Murphy. It's good enough for Irma So already she has a number 75 she's kind of worried about her number. She's afraid if she signs her letter 75. She won't get a man under 80 So I explained the number has no personal significance and right now she's writing her first letter to the club It'll be forwarded to some unknown man Dear to whom it may concern. I am a lonely girl. My heart is broken I have blonde hair and brown eyes and nice legs and would like to meet a man in the same condition No dear you put all your eggs in that basket, but they are scrambled Let me help you sweetie. All right Jane See Dear sir, I am 24 years old blonde Considered attractive and I'm quite lonely I should like very much to make the acquaintance of a gentleman who is also lonely now sign it All right, Jane. You think I should spray a little perfume on it. You know the bottle I'll gave me Irma. I have smelled that perfume. It will not only keep men away, but also mosquitoes No, sweetie just mail it as it is all right, Jane I Come about out This letter was sticking out of your mailbox You gotta take out back Well, you wouldn't know it was the same patient he gave a lady a seat on the bus Seems to be out of his mind But his last word was if you didn't take him back He's going to join that French organization. We're real men go to forget. You know the follies forget Come on, aren't you gonna see who the letter is from? Oh, yeah It's a day. All right five in answer to lonely. What can we do about it? Which ain't that's a wonderful number. What do you mean wonderful? We'll have a big family. I Don't follow you well and folk are three threes in a pair of twos is a full house Irma don't go jumpy disinclusions. You don't even know this man. I'm so excited magic getting an answer so quickly Hello girl, why do you all look so happy? Irma has a new boyfriend wonderful. I'm a what's his name three three three two two I'm a convict Let me go back to Al at least he wasn't caught yet No, professor. No, Irma's been corresponding to the Lonely Hearts Club and everybody has a number. Oh Congratulations and take the advice of an old man find out what the man is like right away before you get involved Oh, I'm going to but first of all I'm going to find out one thing if he has a job You know what I you know what I just went through with my ex Your ex yes, I I want to even forget his name Of course my ex was very sweet to me My ex made me happy. I love my ex and I dream of that day I would marry my ex Irma you're slipping remember Time to waste answer the letter come on reading it for her it says Dear three three three two two. Do you mind if I call you dear three two I Feel I know you well enough to call you by your initial To get your letter and I hope you turn out the way I picture you of course Your writing is very small. Are you short? Have you got a job and hoping to hear the same from you I remain affectionately 75 Yes, sir, what can the lonely hearts club do for you? Oh, my name is out. My number is three three three two two Corresponding with the girl number 75 any mailed for me. I should look in the box Oh, yes. Yes is here the letter for you three three three dash two two by the way How are you getting along with your correspondent? Well, frankly the dame seems a little crank But I'm so anxious to get over this lump in my heart You know the girl I love jilted me that I'll try anything. Well, here you are. Good luck Three days I've been hearing nothing but three three three two two and seventy five that's coming out of my ears You know if those two ever get together I think they'll have to be married by a bookkeeper But of course since the letter that Irma is expecting today should contain valuable information about her new phantom boyfriend I was just as excited as she was when she said Jane Jane the letter came never wonderful. Come on read it read it No, you read it to me. I'm too excited. Okay, okay, sit down. No, sit down Dear 75 thank you for your letter. I was hoping the girl I was corresponding with was a vassar graduate But it seems quite impossible since I noticed you spelled considered with a K However, none of us is perfect He spells perfect P. E. R. F. E. K Go on Jane. Go on You asked me have I got a job well 75 as number-to-number let me inform you that I have worked hard and steadily all my life as head of a big steel corporation And now I am preparing to retire How are you fixed financially? I Am perfectly healthy tall and so handsome. It's disgusting Yours devotedly three three three two two. What do you think Jane? I don't know. This is either a genius or a crackpot But anybody would be an improvement over Al. I beg your pardon your ex Shall I answer him honey? I think it's about time you met him. All right Jane. I'll write him to come up here No, no not for two reasons first if you don't like him after you meet him We don't want him hanging around here and secondly we want to make a good impression on him. Well, how do I go about that? Wait a minute Richard and I are having dinner at the pavilion club tomorrow night and he can be our guest But how will he recognize me? Well, uh, right that you'll wear a green hat But what if someone else is wearing a green hat? He's liable to marry the wrong girl Well, I'll tell him you'll leave your number with the head waiter and I'll read will bring him to our table All right, you know, I'll sit down and write in the letter right away Yeah, honey in your letter try to make yourself attractive, you know show an interest in what he's doing He's in a steel business. What can I say? I don't know say Say that you realize that steel is the backbone of this country and that you're fascinated by blast furnaces and Trust he finds you interesting. I got it. Now. What are you going to write? Well, uh, it must be interesting to steal blast furnaces and I trust you will like me because I have one of the nicest backbones in the country Just hold it down. So just invite him to dinner at the pavilion club in the pavilion club Richard myself and Number 75 We're waiting for 3 3 3 2 2. I must say 75 looks adorable She's wearing a green hat and she's taking no chances on it is a 75 Since this dinner is costing Richard a pretty penny I too am very curious to see what Irma has landed Honey smile. Come on now. Come on. Look happy. I'm sorry. Jane. I was just thinking about Al Now Irma. What did you promise? That's Irma you say this mr. 3 3 3 2 2 is in the steel business. Yeah, well, then I must know him Well, I'm sure you do. Well, it's gonna be wonderful to have dinner with an old friend. Yeah, I'll say Every time we've been out together. I'd look across the table and who would I see? Shake it. You're wearing a green hat 3 2 2 I sure am but a roundabout way to get a free meal Me too just a minute. You have your nerve working steady a steel magnet I don't even know what I wrote. I didn't even know was Irma. All I know is I was going crazy for a miss on earth Lots of guys turn to drink. I turn to the lonely hot club. Oh It's all my fault in that psychological test. Well, what's the difference chicken? Just wanted you to know I love you and I always will Now Jane if you want me to Go Sit down now Sit down and order No, thanks. I ain't hungry. No wonder you ate half my platter while you were talking Irma and Jane will be back in a moment, but first can't anything be done about triple O Yes, here's amazing news about a scientific odor test eight out of ten men and women stopped or definitely reduced triple O Stop odor of body stop odor of breath stop defending Executives secretaries clerks even factory workers at 110 degrees heat took ends chlorophyll tablets results from hundreds and hundreds of Examinations were astounding working inside the body where odors begin ends actually prepended unpleasing odors from forming Stop triple O stop all three odor offenses. Yes There's scientific proof that ends really stop triple O keep you fresh as a daisy all over all day long You get more complete more lasting protection against triple O Then from any old-fashioned body urine toothpaste soap mouthwash and ends are so easy to use safe Safe as any green vegetable pleasant tasting ends contain 100 milligrams of fully effective dose of daritol chlorophyll So beware of cheaper chewing gum or candy substitutes that contain so little chlorophyll Or that failed to state their chlorophyll content on the label insist on ends chlorophyll tablets That's ends E N N DS trial size only 49 cents larger sizes even more economical stop triple O with N Back together on the sofa and there is much in love as ever and they're making gooey talk Oh, is my darling walling little 75. Oh, just find my great big three three three two two And that isn't nauseating enough Irma is now making with more numbers 14 No, I don't like that 32 yes 32 and 33 Irma, I know Al is three three three two two in your 75. What are those other numbers? Oh, I'm just picking out names for the children I Can you imagine anybody offering money to employ a brain like that? But they did Jane because if you know folks three weeks ago My friend Irma in the person of Marie Wilson offered to work as secretary for a day To the person of firm in the United States offering the highest bid to the March of Dimes Antipolio fund and today we're pleased to announce the name of the winner the winning bid is $5,000 which will be contributed at once to the March of Dimes by the Coca-Cola bottling company of Fort Worth, Texas Who want Irma in the person of Marie Wilson to work as secretary of the office of the infantile paralysis chapter headquarters in Fort Worth? So to the city of Fort Worth and the Coca-Cola bottling company our congratulations and watch out My friend Irma will be heading your way this week Isn't it exciting? I always told you that someday my brain would be worth a lot of money Yeah, that's right cookie, and I always knew that someday there'd be a price on the head of my friend My friend Irma is a psi-howard production and is directed by Park Libby who writes the script with Stanley Adams Pat Burton is associate producer Marie Wilson is star in his Irma and Cthulhuas is Jane the part of Al was played by John Brown Hans Conread was heard as professor for botkin Gloria Gordon is Mrs. O'Reilly and Alan Reed is mr. Clyde Life predicts in his Richard head max is mushy and Sandra Gould as Violet Murphy music was under the direction of Ludd Ruskin Tired-looking eyes can ruin your appearance make you look unattractive dull So don't take chances when eyes are red weary from lack of sleep glare driving yet eye gene Two soothing drops in each eye float away that tired eye feeling at once Eye gene is like a prescription contains lexatol acts as a tonic for the eyes safe gentle to get eye gene E-y-e-g-e-n-e tonight use it daily for bright attractive eyes trial size only 25 cents larger sizes even more economical I gene at drug counters everywhere Be with us next Sunday at this time when ends America's most popular chlorophyll tablets Again bring you my friend Irma