 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. Well, little Miss Sally, you look as though you've been outdoors today. Yes, I have. What did you see? Well, we were looking at bird's nest, and you know, you can see them so much easier now because the leaves are off the trees, and you know what we saw? No, what did you see? We saw a field mouse come out of the bird's nest. Well, what do you know about that? When the birds go away, the field mice move in. Yes, isn't that interesting? It certainly is, and I'm glad you told me about it. I thought you would like it. And now would you please tell me what's interesting in the funnies today? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I will. I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page of the first section, Hop along Cassidy. Nice words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. Hoppy has learned that meeker is the man who's been selling guns to the Indians, which is against the law. Hoppy has followed meeker onto a steamboat, just as meeker orders it down the river to make his escape. But meeker tricked Hoppy, knocked him unconscious, and locked him in the cargo hold in the bottom of the boat. And then meeker ordered the captain to proceed down the river into the rapids and rocks where the boat crashed. Meeker gets away in a rowboat, sure that the rapids will destroy all trace of the boat and of Hoppy. In the picture top row, Hoppy, who has come to, realizes that the boat is sinking and that he's locked in the hold. He sees the machine weighing several tons, tied to the center of the hold. First picture next row, Hoppy says, but this cargo is as heavy as it looks. I've got one chance. As the boat tips to one side, the ropes on the lower side become slack. Quickly, Hoppy starts to untie the ropes, saying, I've got to untie this last one before we roll to the other side. He makes it just in time. Slowly, the boat begins to tip to the other side. The heavy machinery slides down the floor and crashes through the side of the boat, versus its bottom wall. The pressure of the water forces the boat back to its other side. As it comes up, Hoppy leaps out of the hold the machinery made on the wall, landing in the rushing water. Last picture, the Marshall, California and Lucky, who have gone down the river on horse trying to catch up with the steamers, stop as they hear something on the river. Marshall says, hey, sounds like a rowboat heading this way. California exclaims, yeah, but is it Hoppy or is it Meeker? But how can he ever swim through those roaring rough waters? Especially with boots on. It'll take a strong man to swim safely through that. I hope he won't find your cat's in when he comes to shore. Well, that's something we'll find out next week. Now? Very well, over the page we go. Yes, and the Danes have set one of Val's ships afire. And now, Val's ships have been separated from each other, and the Danes can attack from both sides. Oh, who's a great fighter? I wish he'd stop sulking and come back. Well, let's see whether Volta will forget his quarrel with the king and come back and help. After all, he must know that Tillicum, the woman he loves, is on one of those ships, and that she'll be captured if the Danes win. So quick read, please. Very well, here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckett, Brackett, Gray Malkin and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. In the deck of his great dragonship, King Agwar of Thule sees his line of ships broken, and the Danes surged through. He calls on his reserves to stop the gap, but the damage has been done. Straight for the rear of the right wing, glide the fierce Danes. Here in other battles, his rage Volta are a tower of strength. Now, Alita and Prince Zaheib, a woman and a babe are in command. Last picture top row, the king sees what's happening. And he mutters, Oh, fool that I was to listen to a woman's advice. May good caution be with them, but if we break our line to go to that aid, they go spell defeat. But at that moment, on a ship far out at sea, Volta, Volta sees the great sea battle, first picture next row. He sees the Danes have valed ships outnumbered, and even though he has coiled with the king, and has been outlawed and is no longer the king's man, he still is not going to let the king enjoy all the good fighting. His booming voice urges his mariners out. Closer and closer move Volta's ships toward the right wing, which was his place, and king or no king, he means to be there. For Volta knows that somewhere in that awful battle is Tillicombe. Harder and hotter grows the battle. Val's singing sword flashes more and more swiftly. The king fights more and more furiously, for they are being cast back by the Danes. Things begin to look bad for them, when suddenly, above the thunder of battle, the king hears the roar of Volta's battle cry. Harder! His picture about a brawl through the fight with renewed hope. More and more furious goes the battle. Then the left wing, the Danes have won a foothold, and step by step, ship by ship, Prince Valient and his warriors are being driven back. The great sea battle seems to be turning in favor of the Danes, when last picture, a great horn is heard. Horn is sounding retreat. I'm not sure. Well, I wish I knew because the trees... Well, let's certainly hope that Volta are coming to their aid as frightened the Danes so that they're the ones who have had enough. But we'll find that out next week. Very well then. Let's turn over to the very last page of the very first section. Last page of the first section, and here's Dick. And he's gone into the wilderness on an exploring expedition with Captain Lewis and Captain Clark. And they came into the wilderness, and there they were met by Indians who warned them not to go any further. And the Indians... So Captain Lewis and Clark decide to do that. And then the next morning, Dick and Captain Lewis went hunting, and they came to the Indian village, and it was all deserted, and in one of the lodges they found a man all tied up. Yes, it was a French Canadian who was a prisoner of the Indians. He told them not to trust the Indians. And he led them to the place where the Indians were having a war dance. And I'm anxious to know whether Dick and Captain Lewis got back to their ship before the Indians saw them. Well, let's find out right now. Here we go with Dick's adventures and say the magic words with me. Rigidly packed, exact as Dick. Let's have music for a adventurous Dick. Hearing through the forest, Dick and Lewis see the Indians in the frenzied war dance. Dick says, Hey, let's get out of here quick, Captain. And they turn to make their way through the woods. They are seen by one of the Indian scouts. He gives a signal. And the chase of death begins. As they see the Indians closing in on them, Dick makes a torch and sets fire to the brush. Last picture, top roll. And Dick says, This bonfire might hold them up for a while. And on they run. The Indians set bonfires, too, forcing Dick, Lewis and the French Canadian to find a new way back. A short time later, Dick and Captain Lewis come by a roundabout way, emerge from the forest near the landing. And they see, last picture, second roll, Indians attacking the men on their boat. A desperate struggle is taking place. Quickly, they slip onto the boat. And first picture, bottom roll, swing their cannon around on the Indians. And then one shot from the cannon, which the Indians call big medicine, cures them of their treachery. And the Indians run for the woods. Next picture, Lewis and Clark stand on its way again. The first skirmish with the Indians is one. But as they cross through the Dakotas, huge floats of ice grind away at their boat. And the men work hard with long poles forcing their way through the ice. And always lining the shores are the Indians waiting, armed and silent. Yes, and on shore are the Indians waiting to take them. It's like Dick will be living with adventure for quite a while. Yes, next week. Well, I know how to find out. So do I, I'll be here. All right, now look underneath this adventure. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes, and I've been worried about this because last week, remember those crux Sir Percival and that man named Nabi that's pretending to be his chauffeur. They've come to the milestone farm and Mr. Miles Chuston. Yes, and also the bank delivered some very expensive gold cups to steal those gold cups and then to put the blame on Rusty and that boy Peter. And that makes me so mad I could just, I could just flip. Well, let's read right now and see what happens next with Rusty Riley. Gallup and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. After showing the boys the gold cups Mr. Miles tells them he must put them away. And then he takes Sir Percival to dinner to the country club. Last picture top row they arrive at the club in Sir Percival's car with Nabi driving. Sir Percival turns to Nabi saying Well, we'll be here an hour soon but you may go get some dinner if you like. Nabi replies Oh, thanks, Sir Percival. But I eat before we come here. I'll just park the car and whiten it for you. First picture bottom row they're having dinner in the club. Mr. Miles is saying to Sir Percival Do you think you can remain for our big charity horse show, Sir Percival? Sir Percival replies Oh, unfortunately, no, no Nothing would give me more pleasure but alas, other business presses. As a matter of fact Nobs and I have to leave tonight. Meanwhile, outside the club Nobs, who has waited a while parks his car, then says Now to get back to March to inform an airy I don't dare trick our car I'll hail a taxi on the highway and stop about two blocks from the farm. A little later in Rusty's room at the Miles farm he's awakened by Pete Hey Rusty, come on, wake up I think somebody's prowling around the driveway Rusty exclaims What's that? Oh, it's you, Pete Wait, wait, I'll switch on the light Last picture, Pete says No, no, Rusty, don't turn on the light Come on to my room, we can see the driveway from there Rusty replies Oh, sure, you go and watch Pete I'll join you as soon as I get some clothes on I'm glad you did what they hear is that crook knobby just coming back to steal the gold cup That's exactly what they hear, I'm sure He's doing it while Mr. Miles is at dinner with Sir Percival, so Mr. Miles will not think that Sir Percival or Nobs could be the crooks And that's his scheme to try to blame Rusty for it I wonder if it'll work We'll find that out next week All right, now it's time for Dagwood and Blondie and here they are on the first page of the second section And I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say Here we go with Puck for Comic Weekly and on the first page of the second section Dagwood and Blondie Magic words for the music, please Very well, my lady Ramaphoo, Ramapham, Zim, Zim, Zambi Conjumi music for Dagwood and Blondie Dagwood's boss, Mr. Jitters is having trouble with his wife again She stopped in his office and is laying him out good I don't want to cause a scene here at the office but just wait till you get home tonight Dear, there's not just head and anguish Yes, dear As soon as his wife leaves, Ditters begins to cry Dagwood walks over and pats him on the shoulder and Ditters sobs And you hear what I'm going to get when I get home tonight Oh, Dagwood Nobody loves me Oh, don't say that, Mr. Ditters And Dagwood begins to cry And then the first picture next roll the office staff gathers around and they begin to cry Dagwood's voice sobs We love you, Mr. Ditters My Ditters pushes Dagwood away, dramatically saying No, no, it's no use This is the end It's the river for me Dagwood unbended knees grabs him by the foot stopping him My home is your home, Mr. Ditters Come live with us Oh, you mean somebody cares whether I live or die Yes, yes, we'll fix up the spare room for you at our house You'll be one of the family Dagwood kisses Dagwood's hand and says Uh, I'm wanted First picture next roll Dagwood and Ditters come up the walk to the Bumsted House Dagwood tells him We'll serve your meals to you in your own room or you may eat at the table with us Ditters replies I want to eat with you, Dagwood I want to feel as though I belong They open the door and enter the house And they find a topsy-turvy pictures on the floor, chairs turned upside down rugs rolled up, the lamps disconnected You'll have to climb over the furniture As they climb over the furniture to get to the kitchen, she tells him You can't open her on the table First picture bottom row Dagwood dressed in a ruffled apron takes the food off the stove A terrible smell comes up Dagwood moans Oh, I'm sorry Ditters buries his face in his arms and moans Burn beans Oh Suddenly, there's a tearing out of the Bumsted House Dagwood yells Last picture, the door of Ditters' house opens In he walks, a smile in his face And he says Be it ever so humble there's no place like home And waiting inside the door to the next room is his wife a skull on her face and a baseball bat in her hands and you just know that this is going to happen Yes, a wife waiting for him and a bat in her hands No, isn't that business funny? He'd rather be hit on the head by his food Some people are very strange, aren't they? Yes Well now look, under Dagwood and Blondie there's Roy Rogers Oh, yes, I was trying to capture the castle wrestlers and they did a terrible thing Yes, they caught Roy and locked him in doleful hawkins in a caboose that's a car of a train and they pushed it down the track Yes, but Roy fooled them because he got out of the and got doleful loose on some rocks that he got stuck between when he jumped I wonder who that stranger is Well, let's find out now Here we go with Roy Rogers King of the Cowboys Ah, yippie-yo, now here we go with Roy and Trigger Stranger gets off his horse picks up a pole lying nearby puts it under the rock and prides it up Roy drags doleful out from under Stranger says Now you see how easy it is to extricate your friend in a fashion a matter of leverage as discovered by the Greek scientist Archimedes Roy sees that the stranger thinks that there are the wrestlers he says nothing as the man third picture hands Roy a fistful of money saying as you probably know I'm Judge Shinmika, your employer who did a good job wrestling that train load of cattle but what happened to the old caboose hideout Roy replies Well, well it brought close to the picture top row the stranger mounts his horse saying Well, go back up the mountain and find your mounts boys I'll see you at my ranch tomorrow you will help rebrand the stolen cattle Some time later first picture bottom row Roy and doleful making their way back along the tracks come upon a campfire and two men doleful exclaims Hey Roy, there's dude and Rocky the real wrestlers doleful's horse a short distance away from where the men are standing and he whispers Yeah, after we grab our horses we'll trail Meeker to his ranch we've got to get the cattle back and break up this wrestling gang Roy starts a tiptoe toward Trigger Trigger sees him and when he's with joy Rocky and dude leap to their feet grab for the guns as Rocky goes for doleful dude snaps at Roy get him up cowboy quick last picture Roy and doleful are in the wrestlers hands again dude glares at Roy through slit eyes and says well, I've a hunched the boss Judd Meeker will be plum glad to meet the two Humbrys who try to ruin our last home and Rocky grins Yeah, he sure will Look up! Yes, but Roy or Trigger was so glad to see Roy he just couldn't help himself but you can't blame a horse especially when it's glad No, I should say not Maybe next week we'll see that Roy will outfox dude again I hope so Now let's turn over the page and see who's there I should say so First he was captured by Menta the cruel queen of the Martians on the planet way up in the sky Yes, a tornado blowing a desert of sand at them A tornado so wild that Menta was sure it would bury them all alive but Flash turned the machine out I wonder whether he'll be able to Well, let's read now and find out Here we go with Flash Gordon Trigger, doon doon, Sasko Matage with our heroic flag Battling to keep a desert hurricane from smashing the capital city of Mars Flash risks his life in a last desperate effort He shoots a jet of burning hydroxy of Menta the storm setting fire to the hard-driven sand itself Flash picture top row for a frightful moment it seems that Flash's daring experiment is backfiring on him where the burning sands melt in a flooded liquid flame that threatens to engulf the handful of humans There, first picture bottom row he aims his zero-ray projector at the flames and freezes the unrushing flame into strange and fantastic shapes They are surrounded by a man made wall of frozen sand and flames that protects the Martian city from the hurricane of sand behind it with an almost human frenzy the flames beat against the barrier then finally subside in defeat With a danger passed Flash gets a hero's reward from Dale a kiss and even the ruthless queen Menta mutters her thanks to the earthmen but they are not to have peace for long Menta receives another thought message that tells her the sandstorm has damned the great canal and waters are beginning to flood the city and last picture they see a sky car coming to pick them up Menta says to Flash that now they'll see if he can finish the job he started You bet he was, that was positively brilliant Yes, but if the water is going to flood the city well, how can he ever stop that because I've heard about floods and whole cities are covered with waters and it runs in the stores and everything Well, that's something we'll find out about next week Now, look across the page Oh, they're out! Then I know you don't want me to waste a second so here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of Brer Rabbit Say the magic words with me Hip at the hopperty, make it a habit to give us music for old Brer Rabbit Uncle Remus says if it has anything to do with honey old Brer Bar can be counted on to be counted in Yes, if anybody steals honey you can be sure that suspicion might point to old Brer Bar Well, Brer Rabbit is down at the community store standing in front of a sign which reads Wild Honey Special 11 cents and Brer Coon is telling Brer Rabbit that his honey has been disappearing Yes, somebody's made a mistake and his honey has been disappearing Yes, somebody's been snatching his honey jars from right out of my nose Brer Rabbit replies and I've got a ramblin' suspicion about who's doing it Brer Rabbit has an idea how he might trick the thief He switches the labels on some of the jars Brer Coon exclaims Yeah, but you was messing up everything Brer Rabbit replies Yeah, you just let me do the messing and I'll fix the mess Little later Brer Bar approaches the store Brer Rabbit, who is just finishing setting some jars with the label honey up on the counter exclaims Uh oh, here comes Brer Bar quicker than I've thunk Brer Bar comes into the store Brer Rabbit and Brer Coon are nowhere in sight Brer Bar steals a jar of honey off the counter Then Brer Rabbit and Brer Coon walk in Brer Bar holding the jar behind him says Brer Coon I was looking for a Japanese back scratcher You got one Brer Coon says Just sold the last one, 11 years ago So Brer Bar Bracks out the door, first picture of autumn rose saying Well, guess I'll have to try some place else And off he goes Brer Coon says to Brer Rabbit Did you take one? Brer Rabbit giggles Brer Rabbit A little later, behind a board fence on the edge of the community, Brer Rabbit and Brer Coon see Brer Bar open the jar of honey and they hear him say No use looking for honey tree when Brer Coon puts it in jars for me yuck yuck yuck and they watch as he drinks from the jar and then they see him jump up and dash into town and they hear him saying as he comes into town Brer Coon yells Brer Bar can't open his mouth and Brer Rabbit standing in front of the store giggles and last picture is Doc Crane works on Brer Bar, Brer Coon asks How do you do it, Brer Rabbit? and Brer Rabbit replies Oh, I just switched the honey labels to the glue jars and Brer Bar says Doc Crane pulls at the glue saying Oh, still Brer Bar and Uncle Rima says The label don't count if the stuff ain't in time It was a good joke on Brer Bar because Brer Rabbit put the honey label on the glue bottles and then he put them on the counter and Brer Bar snitched what he thought was honey but when he got it in his mouth I'll bet he thought it was a strange kind of bee that made that stuff Now that's all the time I have but before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information Boys and girls, I gotta go now All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but next week OK, that's a date and a date with all your boys and girls Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly For I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey Don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man