 Today's podcast is brought to you by FreshBooks.com. Get a 30-day free trial at gofreshbooks.com forward slash David Feldman show. The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic humps. Tony Hingecliffe joins us. He's a brilliant comedy writer and comedian and he's joining us via FaceTime Audio in Los Angeles. We're in New York City. How are you, buddy? Hey, how's it going, David? How are you, buddy? Good, good, good. Good, buddy. Good, buddy. You know, I was at the Republican convention walking through Cleveland and I look up and there, is it Hilarities? Yeah, yeah. I was there. Coming to Hilarities, Tony Hingecliffe, I guess the week after. Yeah, what were you doing there? I was working for Trimfee and Selcomic Dog. Oh, very cool. Covering the conventions and... Are you allowed to talk about the roast? I believe so, yeah, let's do it. Because I just signed a confidentiality agreement. Oh, oh, I don't think I did. Oh, no, I think we can hang on. Alex is our producer. We can talk about it now to promote it. So it's coming up on Labor Day. Yeah, and I worked with a dog as well. It wasn't Trimfee, but it was Ann Coulter. That's why I want to talk to you for many reasons, but... Unlike Trimfee, she didn't take and do any of the jokes that we gave her. So have you ever done that, David? Have you ever given Trimfee the dog a joke and he tries to rewrite it himself? Well, no, because Robert Smigel is brilliant and can reckon has good taste and Ann Coulter is a... Well, so let's review because I don't think we've introduced you properly. Tony Hinchcliffe, besides being an amazing stand-up comic, is also a great comedy writer. We worked together on The Burn with Jeff Ross and you've been working with the roastmaster general for about a decade. Yep. And you wrote on the Comedy Central roast of Rob Lowe, which I believe airs Sunday night. It's Labor Day. Monday night, I do believe. Monday night on Comedy Central and it features Rob Lowe, Jimmy Carr, Nicky Glaser, Jule, Yeah. David Spade, and Ann Coulter. So let's hold off on Ann Coulter. I was in LA for my divorce, so I didn't have time to go to the roast. Tell me how it went and why people should tune in and watch it. Well, it went really well. It was awesome. You know, I love these roasts. They're my favorite day of the year. It's like Christmas for assholes, you know. It's a day where everybody can just let it rip and it was really good. You know, Jule and Peyton Manning really stole the show. They were really awesome. You know, Peyton Manning did a lot of good work. He put it in. He studied his script. He executed it. He took what the writers gave him. You know, that type of thing. A lot of the comedians did that. They all did a really good job. And then there was Ann Coulter who was booked late. She was booked late with a few days left. Pretty much everybody was. It was, you know, it was one of those roasts where, you know, a couple people dropped out for reasons and a couple people joined in late. She was one of those people. And I was actually really excited when she signed on because, A, I knew it'd be fun for the rest of the day is to make fun of her and, B, I thought it would be a fun, challenging thing to write for and an exciting thing. Like I'm an old pro wrestling fan and so is Mike Lawrence who actually worked on this with me, worked with Ann Coulter with me. And as pro wrestling fans, we figured we would make her like the heel that, you know, and just have her own who she is, you know, be a little self-deprecating from the top and sort of really kill. We wanted her to steal the show. I mean, in a weird way. You know what I mean? We really wanted to help her. Best in show. Since she's a dog, it would be best in show. Yeah. And we wanted her to, we wanted her to do good because that would make us look good as writers. And so she got booked on Tuesday. Tuesday night, we sent a, what I would call a great script in, in which I think she would have absolutely killed and people would be talking about how Ann Coulter killed instead of how Ann Coulter bombed horrendously. But anyway, so we sent to Tuesday and then Wednesday morning, we got an email that she had rewritten the jokes that we gave her and got cut made up cuts of a lot of the jokes that we wrote. So she got rid of a lot of the jokes and she took a few jokes and rewrote them without punch lines. So she sort of left the funny parts out, but she wanted to like play comedian instead of being Coulter. And she doesn't realize the comedians are trying to find an angle and use their own voice. And you know, Ann Coulter just thought she was a little smarty pants and she got roasted. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. By the way, it's the Rob Lowe rose. She has, it's a bad enough, she has a tenuous connection with reality. What's her connection to Rob Lowe? I don't know what her connection is to Rob Lowe other than- Oh, I know what it is. I know it's by a lot of people. She's the only woman he hasn't stopped. Yeah, probably. That's her claim to fame. I guess so. I haven't heard of Rob Lowe being in the bestiality. Sorry. Just a specter. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wow, that's pretty. She is a monster of a human being. Absolutely the worst human being I've ever worked with in my entire life. Okay, so I was talking to Ray James and I don't think we're not violating a confidentiality agreement. It's no secret that Ann Coulter is a monster, human being, a human being. Anything but a human being. Ray James who wrote on the roast calls me afterwards and says it was unbelievable that according to Ray, she went into it thinking that people actually like her or there are some people who like her that she was capable of getting laughs because she lives in this bubble, this New York, Washington bubble where she only speaks at CPEC. And other Republicans laugh at her but in the real world she's loathed and despised. And according to Ray James, she almost cried. Oh, I think so. I think so definitely. I mean, I think that she thought maybe the jokes about her would be like, hey, you're a wacky Republican but it was pretty much, you're a C-word, I want you to die, I want you to kill yourself, we all want you to die, we want you to die a slow, painful death. I mean, it wasn't really, I mean, there were a few jokes about how she looks like a horse and how nobody's gonna be her friend but it was mostly just about like hoping and praying that she would die a terrible death. Writing on these roasts, it was interesting because normally you don't have a person on the dais that everybody wants to die. So it really did add an element of originality to it. I heard during the commercial breaks, as is customary, everybody talks to one another and says, hey, was that joke okay? And then they'll go, oh, that was fine, I wish it had been even meaner, it wasn't mean enough. Okay, you know, I love you, all that kind of stuff. But I heard that she just sat by herself, people sit out, I hope you die, we'll be right back. And during the commercial breaks, she just sat by herself, is that true? Yeah, during every commercial break, you know, whoever just went up, you know, everybody will like go over and say, hey, good job, that was awesome. Everybody's having fun. And Ann Coulter actually, between each commercial break, hung out with her favorite person in the world and that is Ann Coulter. And I guess she was giving herself some punch up, unfortunately not with a right hook. And yeah, she struggled, I mean, she is just an absolute pile of garbage. I mean, it's almost incredible. Okay, so here is what I wanted to ask you. I have this theory that regardless of your politics, but it's none of my business, but I would, I maintain, yes, George W. Bush, horrible person, Donald Trump, horrible person, if I were at a dinner party and they were there, I would love them. I always say, forget meeting your heroes, don't meet the people you hate because you'll fall in love with them. I honestly believe that if I met George W. Bush, I'd think this guy is amazing. Same thing with Donald Trump. Right. Ann Coulter, when I first started working for Bill Maher, she was hanging out and doing the show. And I, at the time I thought politics was fun and games, don't take it too seriously. She seems like a goofball. And Janine Garofalo was sitting with me. And I said, I'm gonna go talk to Ann Coulter and Janine grabbed my arm and said, stay away from her. She is a horrible human being. And I said, okay, but you know, I don't know that much, but you know, but this was back in 2003 and she just grabbed my arm and said, she is as wrong as the invasion of Iraq. That's how bad she is. So you got to work up close with this sulfuric vial, quote unquote human. How bad? How bad a person is she? Well, you know, she is a lot like the invasion of Iraq. I agree with that, except the invasion of Iraq was a lot funnier. I think the invasion of Iraq had some sense of humor about itself. Was she nervous? She wasn't nervous going into it. You know, she also, one of the things that's interesting, David, is that we asked her if she had seen a Comedy Central roast a few days out. And she said, no. And we told her that we wanted her to watch some of the Comedy Central roast. And then she said, no. And as it got closer to it, like, it's a lot like the invasion of Iraq, totally unprepared. Yes, yes. And she had no idea what was going to happen, going into it. And much like the invasion of Iraq, she had sand in her pussy afterwards. And Bob, you got to talk to her on the phone. Was she pleasant? Is she polite? She played pleasant. She played like she liked the things that were happening. But then via email, she would change everything. She's on the phone, she said, oh, that's funny. That's in my voice. I like that. We explained to her why it would work. And then she sent us an email with everything changed. I worked with Martha Stewart last year and she killed. And she did it with her voice and everything. So I told Ann Coulter, just look up the clip of Martha Stewart from last year. And I sent it to her and she refused to watch it. So she had no idea what was happening, going into it. She just didn't want. She thought she had it all figured out. She's one of these people that surrounds herself with yes men, or yes women, or yes people, or whatever they are. And she just, I'll tell you this, is that most people, when they bomb, you sort of feel bad for them. Even the situation from the Jersey Shore years ago and the Trump roast, it was like, you know, he bombed, but he had no talent. But this person, Ann Coulter, you know, I think her ego is just so out of control that she really thought that she was funny. And she doesn't realize that there's an art form to it. And yeah. It's the first time I'm grateful to hear that she was taken seriously. Yeah. And I'll tell you this, it was a train wreck. It was absolutely awesome to watch. She hurt every time somebody made fun of her. Unlike everybody else on the dais, she didn't laugh. She just absolutely had this weird stuck face. You know, and she has an Adam's apple for some reason. And that's just protruding out. And I couldn't help but to stare at it the entire time. Nobody really made fun of it, but boy, is it there. You know, and she was just sort of stuck. It was like, you know, just roasting a wax figure of Ann Coulter. And her performance on the podium was a lot like of that of a wax figure of Ann Coulter. I mean, she just absolutely hate it. She thought it would be funny to pull out her book first thing and promote it. And the booze just rained down immediately. And it was awesome. It was like watching a gif of a train wreck just over and over and over and over and over again. So when we tune in, is she gonna be protected or are we gonna see the blood? We doubt it. I don't know what kind of editor they have over at Comedy Central, but unless he has Spielberg like CGI, I'm pretty sure that there's no way they can make that set look good. And do we want it? And do we want it to look good? I mean, what is the obligation? It's a good question. You know, I think that people would like to see her bomb more than do good. And I think she gave us that opportunity. The genius that she is maybe, you know, she probably did what was the best thing for the roast. You know, she really ate it, which is crazy because she looks like an anorexic seabass. She was a lot, going back to it, she was a lot like the invasion of Iraq, but I think she bombed a little bit harder. How was the room this year? Did you guys have a lot of fun? Oh, it was a blast. It was an absolute blast. They had, you know, you would have loved it, David. They had free food, free fresh air. It was amazing. Everything was free, fruits, iced coffee, it was incredible. So, going back to Ann Coulter, because I asked this of Ray James, she got really slapped around. Do you think she's capable of any self-reflection? Do you think when she flies back to her cocoon that she for a moment thinks, hmm, I'm despised, why do people hate me? Am I doing something wrong? Should I reevaluate who I am? Do you think she's capable of that? I actually read, I've stayed away from the press reports from this roast all together. I haven't read anything on purpose because, you know, I just sort of, I don't know, I'm just sort of like in a place where I'm a little bit over it, you know what I mean? I thought about these people continuously every day and night for an entire week, and I'll sort of catch back up when the roast happens. But today I stumbled across the Hollywood Reporter interview with Ann Coulter about the roast. And sure enough, she thinks that she was funny, first of all, which is just insanity. And she thinks that everybody else was just taking low blows and wasn't funny. Meanwhile, I mean, every time anybody told her to kill herself, the whole place went crazy, crowd went nuts. I mean, absolutely ecstatic. I've never seen anyone more hated in my entire life. And you know, for it to be a woman in this modern time, you know. It was. Well, maybe not. Maybe she is. It was almost impressive. It was literally like if the devil was on the dais. Comedy Central was able to look the dark Lord Lucifer himself. And that's how the crowd treated it. She's so insane, though, that she actually rationalized. I could see in the interview, she said that, you know, she did jokes that everybody else was half-brained and immature, and she did really good jokes. And she gave her and her couple writers who were not on our staff credit for what she did. She actually named them by name and, you know, not staff writers, but her own helpers. And it was horrendous. I feel really bad for those guys that got mentioned by name by her as being her writers for that because it was one of the most embarrassing comedic performances I've ever seen in my entire life. Well, she thinks, you know, she wrote a book defending Joe McCarthy. She's a big fan of naming names. So, yeah, so before you go, we're talking with Tony Hinchcliffe. He's a great comedian and comedy writer, and we'll find out where you can see him live. The Rose Battles. Did you work on Jeff Ross's Rose Battles at Montreal? Yeah, I was one of the competitors. And Sarah won. Sarah won. Well, Sarah made it to the championship. There's actually a guy named Mike Lawrence won. He's hilarious. He was in the writer's room this year. Him and Sarah Tiana were both in the writer's room, actually, this year for the first time, which was awesome. Getting to have a couple of my fun peers in there with me was a blast. And, um... Was Benji in there? Benji actually just sold his own TV show, Benji Aflalo, great comedian, who I started with actually just sold his own TV show that he wrote, created, and is starring in. For what network? Um, I've talked with a network, but I know that Andy Samberg is the executive producer. Wow. Who he met during the roast of James Franco. So... That's fantastic. Yeah, he's doing it. Benji's living the dream. Wow. Uh, God knows he needs the money. But, uh... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. The roast... So what's happening is, when you describe the roast, you describe it as wrestling, it's a live event. Yeah. Is that why it's so popular? It's one of the few things that television can still do well, and that's a live event, in fact, a sporting event. Right? People... Yeah. Because I never really realized this, but I guess a roast, they say, hey, he really scored, but now somebody can actually keep score and determine who did the best and who did the worst. Is that good for comedy? Yeah. Is that good? Because I was always told, don't keep score. Well, I don't think it's good for stand-up comedy, uh, you know, but I think these roast battles, when it's one against the other, I mean, you gotta see it, Feldman. I think you would absolutely love it the most. I mean, you would just lose your head dying. I mean, you would die of laughter. It's incredible, because it gives it an element of just absolute competition. It's like Fight Club, and it's verbal, and these roast battles, you know, it's just like, I don't know how to describe it, but it's really like verbal boxing, and the competition part is what gives it this edge where people are digging deep in their brain and in their soul with seconds to spare to find a great comeback, and, you know, it's all out there live in front of cameras, so, you know, you can do the joke that you wanted to do, or you could do a joke off of the joke that they made on you, you know what I mean? Like, you know, so it's like counter-punching. So you go in there with some ammunition, right? You have some jokes prepped? Yeah, very much so. You almost want to prep for everything that is weird about them, that you can make fun of about them, and people also have prepped comebacks in case they make fun of anything about you. You know, like, yeah, my Netflix special might be bad, but, you know, you don't even have a special, you know, stupid stuff like that, you know, like, but you just got to be on your toes, and it makes it, the adrenaline and the nervousness, it's really insane. And so much fun. So, Mike Lawrence won because he had great jokes going into it, but he was also quick, right, off the top of his head. And also, another thing is he's just super-duper likable. I mean, he's, you know, he's got this slubby look with a beard and glasses, and he laughs at himself, and he laughs, you know, when people make jokes at him, he just plays it so perfect. He's so likable, you know. He can laugh at himself. He doesn't take it too seriously. There's all these elements that count. You know, likability goes up a very long way in roast battle, which is tough for me because I sort of look like... You sort of what? I sort of have like this villain, you know, villain-esque, almost like the Joker. I'm sort of like a bad guy. Right. And, you know, it's tough to go up against these likable sweethearts like Sarah Tiana and Mike Lawrence and Earl Skakele. There's all these great, you know, talented people that, you know, have special skills. And one of them's being likable. And that's a big part of it, too. Yeah, being likable, that goes a long way. In fact, if you just work on your likability, you don't need jokes. Just, but some of us have that. Which is a lesson, which is a lesson for Ann Coulter, as well. She decided to not have jokes and be unlikeable. And it turns out that doesn't work. Was she smoking cigarettes? I didn't see her smoke cigarettes. Did she smoke? I think she smokes. So where can people come see you perform? I am going to be all over. I'm doing oddballs this weekend. Amphitheaters in Chicago, Detroit and Toronto. I'm doing Sacramento, San Francisco, Australia at the end of October. A bunch of headlining, one man shows out there all by myself. Great. Since Wilbur Theatre, October 8th, which is a big one for me. So if anybody's listening in Boston, I'm doing the Wilbur Theatre all by myself, like a big boy. Wow. That's gonna be cool. We can find all this out at TonyHinchCliff.com. And how do you spell Hinch? How do you spell Hinch Cliff? It's H-I-N-C-H-C-L-I-F-S-E. Like H plus inch, Cliff plus E. Beautiful. Tony. Heck yeah. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you for doing this. All right. Thank you, David. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. I'm gonna tell you about a podcast that I listen to. Two of my friends host it. And I think you should listen to it. Andrew Goldstein. Maybe you remember him as my Jew on some of our more popular episodes of the David Feldman Show. Andrew Goldstein is a brilliant comedy writer from MTV and Race Wars. And Matt Goldich writes for Late Night with Seth Meyers, brilliantly funny comedian and comedy writer. They have a new podcast. You can download it on iTunes. It's called Sorry I've Been So Busy. You know, everyone always says they're so busy, but what exactly are they so busy with? Well, in their podcast, Sorry I've Been So Busy, writer, comedians Matt Goldich and Andrew Goldstein talk to their interesting and funny friends to find out what they've actually been so busy with. Everything from major life and career events to everyday minutia. Sorry I've Been So Busy is the only podcast that will never blow you off unless something comes up.