 What I want to do today is just talk a little bit to you about my personal experience of being a host mother. So I'm going to talk a little bit about the background. My background is I'm married to Luciano, who is... Both his parents are Italian, but he was born in England. He grew up with the famous English language, although it was a very difficult start for him in school. When he started in school he hadn't got one word of English, so he was very much challenged like a lot of the students that I imagine come here to Ireland. So we have one beautiful son, whose name is Adam, and he's 15 years of age. And I suppose he is the reason that I'm a host mother. And that is because I felt it would be a really good experience for him to meet and be forced into situations that he wouldn't otherwise come to have as a normal everyday experience. So it's really for him that I gave in to deciding to try to do this host mothering. So the first thing I did was I made a phone call to the great Anna here in the slain language centre. That can't pronounce your name. The reason she can't is that I very rarely use the surname Vinicucci. So I just normally go under my maiden name, which is Cunningham, because everybody goes, huh, Vinicucci, where did that come from? And then 20 minutes on the phone. So I just normally go under Cunningham, so you're forgiven, Anna, there's no problem. So the call was made and Anna said, look, I'll come out and I'll meet with you in your home. And that in itself can be actually quite intimidating, you feel, oh my God, I'm going to be judged. You should have painted that wall. You're wondering what is it that you're going to be judged on. So you go around in your clean places that were never cleaned. One miracle did happen and that was my husband cut the grass before. But the application process was quite simple and it brought me through what was expected as a host mother, what the school expected you to do and spoke a little bit about the students that come over and then what my role would be in helping the students and that. And then, of course, your guard affected as well, so it's all very serious. So then I got the phone call to say that my first student was arrived. It was just so exciting. So what I did was the school tell you who it is and you're normally given like an email address. So I always make contact with the student before they come over. And I find that this really helps to break the ice because you're getting a little bit of an insight and you're learning a little bit about them before they come. Whether they have brothers, sisters, what their parents might work at, what they're hoping to gain. It gives them the opportunity to then to ask questions of you. You know, what they should bring, clothes-wise. I always tell them we have a dog. Charlie is a big part of our family and he's a brilliant icebreaker when the students come as well. So when you send the email, you have a paragraph or two, this is me. Do you have a little list of questions? No, no, no. I say, you know, hi, I'm Regina. I'm really looking forward to you coming to my home. You know that I have a son who's Adam and we have a dog here called Charlie. And then they just respond. I keep it very simple, yeah. I keep it very simple to try and gauge how much English they have when they reply back. And you just tell you naturally. Yes, yeah. And then I normally ask, I used to ask in the early stages, you know, what do you like to eat? I give up asking that. Because I cannot think of lots of, I don't like this, I don't like that. Oh no, that's the main ingredient in that dish that I normally do. What can I put in instead of that? So, you know, from that point of view, it just does give you a little bit of an idea of the student before the student gets to you. You know, gets to you, which is very helpful really. So then there's meeting the student the first time. And I don't know whether this is me or the student. Because I actually do get nervous when I'm meeting the student because I don't know what to expect. I don't know really until I start communicating with them how much English they have or they haven't got. And also, I always imagined they're coming from these mad beautiful castles in France. And they're coming into my little kennel of a house. It's all about, you know, what are they going to think about this? But I'm always very mindful that they themselves must be very, very nervous. And I'm the adult here, so, you know, I'm very, very mindful of the fact that everything is strange to them. Especially if it's their first visit into, you know, into Ireland. You know, they're driving, we're driving on the wrong side of the road. You know, they're listening to an accent that they probably haven't heard before. They're trying to understand what is it that she's trying to say. So, you know, I'm very mindful of all that. And then from here on the way into my home, I happen to pass by the bus stop that they're going to be taking to get here. And I always point out, well, this is the bus stop. And then the whole time trying to gauge how much are they understanding. And I pointed at the hospital, not that they'll need the hospital. Just in case. But I pointed out it's a landmark, you know, so that kind of frame. I'm mainly trying to get there. The hospital is under it. I don't go there. I just let you know. So then, when a student arrives, one thing I will admit to is, you know, any time I go away to a hotel, I steal all the shampoos. And I put them in the rooms when the students are coming. So I give them a little body wash and shampoo. And if it's a girl coming, I put in a shower cap, you know. And I had the duvet will be there, you know, pink or brighter than if it's a boy coming, I'll change the duvet to a darker color and change the curtains in the room. And things like that just to make me feel a bit more at home. Well, one thing I decided before I did this was that I was going to do this the way I would want another parent to treat my one and only son. And then everything is simple. There's no, you know, there's no, there's no arguments going on in your head. It's like, well, how would you want somebody to treat Adam if they were gone? So you do the best that you can. So the first thing they always ask is, we fee. And this is where in the first period you were really console. I always say, no. No. Because they would have been told like that way. So that's the very first question that they really ask with any kind of intent. That is the Wi-Fi. And then I go on and I explain how things work. Like the shower, you know, you pull this cord, you press that button. The water is going to fall out of the ground. So put this cloth. And I've also brought him down and showed him how to lock and unlock the door because on several occasions it hasn't been done properly. And the burglars would have a field steel in my television, which is the only value I have. And then I try to discover ahead of the morning what their food likes and dislikes. So it will depend on their language, how much of English they have. So I mind things like, you know, are you hungry? I'd want to drink. So I open the cover and show them the series that I have. Or I open the free to say, would you prefer eggs maybe in the morning? So I just get a sense of what they want just for the first day. And I always as well have a pen and paper because inevitably a lot of them forget to bring a pen and paper. And then in the morning they're like, I haven't anything to write when I go to school. So I always have a little notebook and a pen just in case to them. Just in case that they're quite forgetful. And then the surprise. I'm lactose intolerant. Or something like that. Oh my God. Initially at the beginning it was like, it was a trauma. This was like, what is this? But now it's perfectly fine. I'm ready. I'm able and calm. I don't cry anymore. But all of this is really about making the connection with them. I really try and make that connection with them. Let them see that we're here to help them have a really nice positive experience. So during the time that I spend with them, I encourage you to use it in a language in a sneaky kind of ways. I like to cook. And so I'm often, I get home before, I always try to be the last one out of the house before they leave. So I'm not, you know, I'm there. And I try to be home before they get home because I work as well. But I'm looking, I'm self-employed to a degree. And so I'm flexible, you know, and I try to get home before they get in. So I'm often there cooking when they come in and I begin asking them how their day went. And I, what I used to do was try to finish their sentence for them because they looked a little painful trying to tell me. Then I stop and I listen and I just wait and give them a chance to find the word. And sometimes if they find the wrong word, I tell them what the right word is. So as I'm cooking then I say to them, oh, I'm cooking this. Do you like mushrooms? And I say, I'll show you what the mushroom looks like, you know. And do you like onions? And I go, onions. And then I say, do you like potatoes? And they're more than likely know what that means. And then I do something that you would probably go crazy about. I say, this really is called spuds. And then, you know, obviously I do all the washing in the farm when they're under here. And I try, I had got one Italian guy who thought I was able to wash from every single day and try his clothes and give them back to him. So I had to try and explain that, you know, once or twice a week, there's no problem. I can wash her clothes for you. So I, you know, talk to him about laundry. This is the laundry basket. Put your dirty laundry in here. This is, you know, the utility room and you're washing here and that type of thing. And then aside from that, as I said to you, we have a dog. So I often invite them to come walk in with me up to the race course in Wexford here. And that really gives it an opportunity then to talk about things inside. Like I say, this is the race course. There's horses. The horses run here. Do you like what animal is your favorite animal? And we walk around. It's a mile long. It takes 20 minutes. So it's not excruciating for them. So these are some of my lovely students. This is Charlie, our dog. And Charlie is a brilliant icebreaker. He loves children and may absolutely love him. But, you know, I thought that these students were going to come and help with my son. But really what they did is they've really been an inspiration to me. It's, they're incredible. This little fellow here is called Antoine and he's only 14 years of age. And he's going to be a pilot and there's absolutely no way, two ways about it. He needs 22 hours flying time in order to qualify as a, to fly on his own assessment airplane. He's already done seven hours. He has done exams. He's one of the youngest people to pass these exams in France. And he's just an amazing, clever, bright, young boy. This is Celia. She stayed with me for a couple of weeks this past summer. And watch out for her because she's going to be something amazing. She's beautiful. You can actually even see in the picture that's her, captures her. She just walks into a room and she is like, just brings the whole room alive. Her English, by the way, is excellent. And one thing I've found about these students is that they're absolutely passionate about learning the language. And they really appreciate the opportunity of learning the language because they, I really believe that by learning this language, it's opening up a massive world of opportunity for them to work elsewhere all over. So it's, they're amazing. This is last summer. I stupidly handed over my kitchen. No, I was stupidly. All the boys came around for a big, big traditional meal, not an Irish traditional meal, but it was a Spanish traditional meal. They were going to cook for themselves. They went off to Tescos. They bought everything that they needed. And I just demonstrated how not to blow yourself up with her. And I left them too. I stayed in the other room. I said, look, you know where I am, if you need me, open up the back end. It's a beautiful evening. We're all out there about 10 or 11 of them all inside having this lovely meal that they had cooked and great laughter coming through. It was lovely. Now, this is where the work does come in. You know, when you're a host mother, I really do feel that you shouldn't be a host mother unless you're willing to share your time with the students. And so Sunday is the day that's family day. And so with these students here, I brought them off to the outdoor adventure park for, you know, a trip. And they had an absolute ball and they really enjoyed it. And they had to listen and understand before they went up on all the dangerous skyrobes and all this. What the instructor was saying. And I had to stop and say, do you understand everything? Yes, absolutely understand. So they had a ball. And then these are two Austrian girls that stayed with me. And it's like a reminder of how lucky we are to be surrounded by so many beautiful beaches and stuff. These are from Austria, no beach land lot. And it was like, well, I mean, this is beautiful. This is current flow in Metzburg, if any of these have a chance to go down and have a look at it. Absolutely lovely things. And they loved it, you know. So now just a little bit about my run over. The difference between short stay and long stay in my eyes. Is that a short stay student arrives normally in the summertime. It's nice, bright evenings. They have the language school in the morning. The lovely activities that they love in the afternoon. And then in the evening time, there's always a couple of things organized for them. And the evenings that there's not anything, they'll all meet up in the church up the road for me that has a bit of a green area. And they keep the ball around and have a great time. And so their activities are all pretty organized. This is Nicholas, and he's from Madrid. And he's staying with me at the moment. He's in transition year in Alastair school. And Nicholas will be with me for 13 weeks. He leaves in December. And he's here now in the uniform. I took this picture and I sent it to his mother the first day. So she'd have a picture of the old school. And it was his birthday a couple of weeks ago. So I invited all of his friends around and we had a lovely pizzas and chips and hot dogs and a cake. But the difference with Alangstay is you really do have to help the student really a lot more. Because I know that he liked football. So I'd set my husband, listen, we'd have to see, well, they let him go training with them. You know, football team, then they got training a couple of nights a week. And then he likes the gym. So I made a few phone calls around to the gym to see what was the cheapest membership. And I think you need to do those little things because, you know, he's 14 going up, he's 15 actually. And they're a long way from home and they do need you to help them, you know. So some suggestions for school. I know people who have host families and potential host families should meet up in a setting like this at the very beginning of your state. So maybe you're in February. And so the potential families can get to listen to the host families talk about things that might or might not come up. But also for the school to give the host families an idea of what the curriculum is going to be taught in the class. So that the host family can try and help maybe a bit more in that regard at home. You know, I think the host family needs to know how they can contribute to the whole experience. That it's not just the school, it's not just the teachers, it's not just the activities outside. That everybody wants or are trying to achieve the same thing. That these students have a lovely positive experience. That they go away speaking the language better than they are out. And I see that because initially they'll be thinking about what you're saying. They're trying to digest it and then answer back. By the time they leave, it's so much more fluent. They're able to answer you so much quicker because they don't have to think so hard about what, you know, those sort of things. And expect more from the host family. You know, tell the host family, listen, you know, we don't just want you to be a B&B and put a B&B on the table. We really need your help here to, you know, help the students. And don't be afraid to tell them. We need you to be on board of suggestions for teachers. I really think that you need to put yourself into the shoes of the students, especially those that have never been here before or have very little English. And the things outside of the school that you can, you know, don't really control it. The host families control what our legs and food accommodation needs. But if a student can't tell you that they're freezing because they've come from 40 degrees in Madrid and you don't have enough blankets on the bed, that's a simple basic thing. But they might be able to convey it or might be afraid or not have the confidence. I love that your first class was to do this with the students. To say, isn't the host family, because we had a meeting there earlier with all the host families and they're expecting you to go back now and tell them if you have enough blankets, if you need another pillow, if the room is too cold or whatever, or, you know, the food. Directions is absolutely essential. The very first student I got was Laura from Spain, and Laura had five words of English. And luckily, Anna had said to me, get her phone number, get all the students' phone number before they leave, and thank God I did, because I got a phone call from her on the first day and she said, Regina lost. Okay, and I could feel the panic rise. And I said, okay, Laura, where are you? Yes? Can you tell me where you are? Roundabout. So everybody is from my trip in order to relax around the place. Laura, is there a building, like a church or a school? Yes, yes. I said, what Laura, what? A building, yes. So please do the direction. So I had to get in the car, drive around, put her on a hands-free train to find her, and I did find her and I hoped she was fine. And then held terms, because honestly I've had, I've been doing this money a year and a half and I've had two students that were sick. I've never needed a doctor twice, and they didn't have very good English, but just to cover things like, I'm a headache, I'm nauseous, I feel like Obama or whatever. It's just important that us as host mothers know that the child can tell us that those are the things. I'm so sorry. I have to brag now. This is a thank-you card that I got from one of the students and as you can see it's a homemade one. It really means an awful lot to me. And I read it because it's not very clear there. It says, there are Regina, Luciano and Adam. I'm writing this letter to say a big thank-you. Thank you for your hospitality, for your kindness. Actually, at the beginning I was a bit afraid, but now I would do this experience over 1,000 times. I miss you so much. I will miss time spent with you. I will miss your love. I thought the Irish couldn't cook. But after Regina's dishes, I don't think it anymore. I learnt a lot about your culture, your way of living and I appreciate it. It has been a great time here in the Green Country. And I'll never forget this month. Thank you for everything, love regardless. A person may not remember the food that they had, or the accommodation that they had, but they will always remember the way that you made them feel. And I do this a part for all of us.