 Hey there friends, how's it going? My name is Kevin and there are only two things certain in life. Death and Bethesda games being broken on launch. WHAAAA! WHAAAA! But that's totally irrelevant, I just wanted to get that off my chest. Today we're playing Death and Taxis and I already got an achievement. My type of game that rewards me for doing nothing. Okay, what is this guy doing? Okay, the Grim Reaper, you. Oh, can I customize him? Oh wow, this is my kind of Grim Reaper. He's the special shiny Grim Reaper. Oh my god, that is so obnoxious. That's perfect. Yeah, that's what they said when I was born too. This game is speaking to me. I mean, it's pretty much what I was doing anyway, so I should be good at this. Okay, here are the files on humans who are in life-treatening situations within your domain. Quote it for the day, one human has to die. That should be easy. Okay, buddy, what situation have you found yourself in? It doesn't really matter, you're gonna die anyway. They are an avid fan of violent action movies. That's an instant death. You're gonna die hard, you hear me? Tell the police to get up here quick, somebody's about to get killed. How was your first day? Fantastic. He's like, awesome, I killed everyone. That is not what you are supposed to do. Oh, well in that case you got the wrong guy. Why would you do this? I don't like people. I got zero money. Why? I should at least get some money for participating. Okay, quote for the day, one human with an economics background has to die. I mean, this person is an economic consultant, so they should probably die. But the others should too. Off you go. Something tells me my boss is not going to be happy. Well, boss, I did what you said. I killed everyone. He's gonna pick up on the fact that I'm just not listening. You cannot mac every person to death. If too many perish, the results will be disastrous. Should I say it was an accident? No, I'll just say, but I really despise humans. Kill them all. This is my second warning. There will not be many more. Honestly, I think this should be the final nail in the coffin. I need to actually try and do a good day of work because I have no money. I can't afford anything in the shop. They've given up, given me instructions to just like, do your job. Two humans have to die. Okay, so I'll just pick any two I don't like. Stefan is a liar who absolutely can't stop lying ever. Okay, you live. We need people like you in the world to make us look better. You know, you need someone that just is a horrible person. Every time they get drunk, they start ranting about the misuse of P values. I don't even know what that means. So I'm giving you a die mark. Don't try and be smarter than me. I'm just trying to bring down the overall intelligence of the human race. So I'll be closer to average intelligence. Social media influencer. Well, you're fucking dead anyway. What a great day of work. The right amount of people died for a change. I expect a promotion and a raise for this. Thank you. I don't even need praise. I just need people to like not give out to me. And then I'm happy. Prepare for a perilous adventure on the ocean of quality merchandise. Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. What can you sell me? Oh, my God. Look at that mirror. It looks like me when I open the selfie camera on accident. We have the same skin tone. Just bone white. Oh, I can't afford the cat ears. If the Grim Reaper was a furry, I just think it would be a lot easier to walk towards the light. Oh, free money. All right. Three humans have to die. Well, now I don't even have to do any work. I can just flip a coin. Okay. Does this student live or die? The head she dies. Well, you get to live. Wait, what the hell? What is this Grim? I'm watching you. You should mark this profile to live. But I want her to die now. But if I want to become two-faced, I should really just stick with what the coin tells me to do. All aboard the best train ever, whichever train Ashley is conducting, they constantly broadcast up, lifting messages and jokes, brightening the passenger's day. Dying. All right. Let's see what the coin wants for you. You live too, which means these people have to die because I have to kill three people today. Okay. We're good. Send them off. Now go upstairs to the boss for praise. I am beginning to sense a tinge of pride growing within me. I did not expect you to turn out such a good and dedicated Reaper. Me neither, really. After those first two days being kind of rough, I thought we were gonna part ways. Although it doesn't feel like this needs to be someone's full-time jobs. Someone could do this part time. There's like five files a day. I don't think it needs to be a full-time position. Oh, buy a pack of smokes. Smokes are deadly, you know? I'm already dead. Assume this visage and forever be reminded of the mortality of all. He's given me a lecture. He's trying to tell me smoking kills. Just let me live my life or afterlife. Oh, what do we got? No, it's just about one of the people from yesterday being stabbed to death. It's not interesting. Two humans have to die, spare any humans with a science background. Okay. These are all science-y people. Oh, this person can die? You're not a science person. Historian. Nope. You're dying. How does it feel to make the difficult choices? Honestly, I feel like I'm not killing enough people. I crave more. I've never been so in tune with one of my characters in a game. I'm getting so rich. I'm just keeping all my money on the table. I'm a very trusting groom reaper. This coin just lands on tails every time. I can't get it to flip over. There we go. Yeah, they're all the same. I got to change this one just to annoy viewers. There we go. Oh, my God, look at this. A total of six humans have to die. At least two older humans have to die. Any humans with an economy-related profession have to die. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. This guy's 114 years old, but they love vanilla ice cream of bananas and just for that I feel like they should live. A cultist, you get to live, big fan. You seem to have performed adequately. Oh, thank God. I think I'll go on a little shopping spree. I've deserved it after all this hard work. What do you got for me? A bigger razor. That might be handy in case I make another mistake. Wait, is the devil in his office? Oh, my God, big fan. Can I come in? Okay, there was some market crash. Did we cause this or was this happening anyway? A scam artist. A gang member. He doesn't look that threatening. Maybe he should live. I've changed my mind. His name is Mint and that is not a name he's dying. Grim number 78? What happened to the other 77? The raise also comes with a prize. An award? This place is so good to work for. All right, the sarcastic clap was unnecessary. Like everyone's hanging out of that bar and I never do it. I'm too concerned with my career. It's a grim state of affairs. Oh, my award, best newcomer. It's just handwritten in there for your contributions to the killing of many humans. Wow, I wish I had that in real life. Well, not like actually killing people. I mean, just the award. Two humans have to be spared. I'm gonna be killing a lot of people. I guess we'll just spare these two people. The rest will die. I'm not even reading their stories. I'm just in this for the paycheck. And I must depart for a couple of days. Oh, great. Does that mean I can do whatever I want? Cause I'm gonna kill everyone if so. It will be Lady Portingsman. What, I have to report to the cat? Are you serious? Just let me go on a killing spree, dammit. This is embarrassing. This is definitely a low point of my career. I have to answer to a cat. Three plants have to die. I have to kill plants. I think I'm in the wrong department. Why am I killing plants? This plant is a companion. That's the one that's gonna die. Survivalist, well, not anymore. This cat is messing up the whole operation. They're sending me the wrong files. Good evening, Mr. Cat. Great day of working for you. Well, at least the cat paid me. That's the important thing. I want the snow globe. I don't even know what it is, but I just spent all my money on it. Oh my God. What the hell is this? My desk is becoming a little bit of a mess. What is this ominous thing trying to tell me it says? It looks pretty grim. I'll just put that aside for now. Two humans have to die. I don't really care who dies, to be honest. It's a shame when people start to lose passion for their job, just phoning it in. I hope when this person dies, they get to see their file. Okay, this cat isn't praising me enough. I think I'm just gonna feck up the next day and see what the cat does then. I just want attention, whether it be good or bad. Oh my God, what is this? Michael has been a dedicated worker at the, okay, Grim, yes, you, listen up. Why are you such a tool sitting at your desk going over all the profiles like a mindless drone? It's time to break the rules. I want you to do all the profiles today, all of them. Prove you're not completely useless. I'll show you. I'm not useless at all. Everyone dies today. And I'm gonna draw silly mustaches on people. Yeah, that one's out of style. What is going on in this? What the hell is happening? I'm not smart enough to understand. Anyway, everyone died. God, I caved to peer pressure easily. Someone calls me a tool and I'm just like, yeah, I'll show you. Oh no, he's got the boss on the phone. This is your third and final warning. I don't understand. Who was telling me to kill everyone then? Was that just my subconscious? Okay, the snow globe is looking a bit nasty today. A lot of people died. What the hell? He loves to sin and is committed to performing all the four deadly sins daily. They live in a cave outside the city, avoiding law enforcement. I think he's gonna live. I want to see where this goes. That is a glorious neck beard. Hey, you live. They must think I just have serious mood swings because some days I do fine and other days I just kill everyone. Where are my files? I don't understand. I don't have any files to judge. Maybe I should buy these glasses so I can actually see the files. I don't know if I can use glasses since I don't really have eyes. I think I'm gonna get dolled up for today. The outfit altogether is called Am I Pretty Queen? But you cannot let everybody live. Now he's given out to me again. Look, I didn't even have any files. Oh, another red note. What does it say this time? Right now you should let this person live. Stand against fate and his rules and I will show you the way. If this is you can and knuckles, I'm gonna be pissed. You can't be strong. You can't be strong. You can't be strong. All right, the boss can't give out to me now. I'm wearing this brand new look with all this makeup and everything. I'm all dolled up. I have never met one so loyal, so dedicated. I'm glad you have this much trust in me. I don't know why. All the humans will die. I will no longer be necessary and can fade away. See, if this was your plan all along, why didn't you just let me run loose and kill everyone like I originally planned? But you already have the, for energy, to desolation. Wait, he was gonna give to me the snow globe thing. For Fext's sake, I'm never buying anything again. I'm just gonna hold out until someone gives stuff to me. God, I really would love a Tesla right now. Choir singer, disgusting, die. Hide corporate money and avoid paying taxes. The game is called Death and Taxes and you can't escape both, buddy. I don't even read the profiles. It's whatever to me. Full time mother, I don't care. I'm here for the paycheck, to be honest. The killing is just a bonus. I don't understand, like if you want everyone to die, why can't we just make everyone die? Moving up the corporate ladder needs bold decision making. Everyone must die if we're gonna speed things up here. Do you know what you have wrought? The world is in ruins. You told me you wanted everyone to die. Mixed messages. I'm thus forced to terminate your contract with the Office of Death. Why can you not be more clear on what you want? You realize this means terminating your existence because what else would you do? I can do many things. I could be a xylophone, like you could use my bones in subordinate. I'm getting fired, are you serious? I got fired. And what, they terminated me? What do you mean? You brought me back to life? I don't get it, I was already dead. All right, well it turns out I'm not as good of a grim reaper as I thought I'd be. I'm just too bloodthirsty, I think. It becomes a bit too personal. I feel like to be a grim reaper, you need to be just totally impartial and just bring people to the other side who are dying. Do it the way it's supposed to be done, not just because you wanna cause mischief. I'd be a better like Poltergeist or a little devil minion or something like that. But I guess we will leave it there. I hope you enjoyed. I'm glad none of us died. But I guess we'll leave it there. I hope you enjoyed. Don't worry, I didn't mark any of you for death. I would never do that. I'm such a nice person to people who like me. But I appreciate you watching as always. I do hope to see you next time. And yeah, bye for now.