 Because this is a queer event. I figured I should read, do some queer stuff. This is for, this poem was written for those who have body image issues and the people that love them. I watch her, looking in the mirror as we undress for the first time, standing naked. She raise and wrinkles nose at reflection. It is quick, an instant of scrutiny. My heart aches in the moment realizing she knows not her terroir, the lusciousness of her landscape. She observes rejection, watching stretch marks spread, etching vineyards in her skin, fingernails raking across dried leaves of freckled flesh, face contorting while grasping the ripeness of labor chest, her mind, scorning her body. Never noticing, when the makeup and clothes come off, we all bear bruises and scars. She is viewing only flaws, holding womanly image to high school standards, forcing white finger down pink throat, pushing regrets against stomach walls, hurling insecurities of what attractive means she corrupts commode, coating it with false promises of physical perfection. She envisions her eating disorder. Gawking, I say, you're gorgeous. Before words could twist a protest, my mouth stops her mid sentence compassionately kissing, wishing she could picture looks irreplaceable, distinguishing stretch marks as road maps for her children, 20 hour labor of love stories teaching them to accept their own changing anatomy, fingernails, tracing constellations across luminous skin, face beaming while cherishing the fruits of suckle bosom arms. Strong enough to hold the moon, her offspring and me, my tongue praying she could taste and see flawless. The contours of her figure, complex as California Cabernet, long legs yielding to babies planted around my waist, placing pale fingers between coral lips, swirling bliss beyond ecstasy, appreciating her beauty. So this is where I'm gonna go, yeah, I'll go dark and then bring it back. So this is a storytelling, there's, this story is just deep. This is all I've considered. He left no time for regret, characteristic wet with his same old safe bed. And me and my head high, and my tears dry, go on without my God. His rage swam with ghosts. So familiar felt death's hand, sudden violence. Monday morning bruised blue, 10. Our once quiet street, now littered with the sound of choking chainsaws, coughing out my blood and bones. Nine, wide eyes stare back at headless body on great pavement, like rose petals. My confettied flesh sprinkles tattered green garments. Eight, neighbors hear only one thing. My cries for help unheard whispers. You, stop and call our second eldest daughter to tell her, I will be roadkill. Seven, my soul is in your left hand. Wrath in your right. Six, from mid street to front door. Ground hair, green dress. Shadow would lane an unwilling accomplice. You went back to what you knew, so far removed from all that we went through. When I had to let a troubled track, my eyes are stacked. I go back to five. The force in your slap knocks me down. The tone in your voice sings sorrows to my gut with your boot. Four, fingers clenched around throat. You say you're going to kill me. Today, I believe you. Your tongue tastes green. I smell death on your breath and fear for our children. Two, my love, sweet as agave, you enter the kitchen. I flinch. That is not your smile. I awake from a dream. Unaware of the nightmare I am entering. April 26, 2010, Louisville, Texas. A husband murders his wife with chainsaws in the middle of the street, 11 a.m. Some testimonies. Uncomfortable truths, listen. Who dares to say this? That suspect is still at large. You only say goodbye with words I doubt a hundred times. You go back to her and I go back to. years before I was born dad had a habit that led mom to have it. She escaped death in the process. The first time she felt an air bubble burst it didn't stop the thirst. It was the one in her shoulder that won her over while daddy stayed heroin soldier. So the first time she felt an air bubble burst it didn't stop the thirst. It was the one in her shoulder that won her over while daddy stayed heroin soldier. that won her over while daddy stayed heroine soldier. Death, pissed he'd miss moms decided to snuff out pop so he went to fate so they could debate on what to do. Opening credits to my birth the movie. A poem starring mom's pops death fate destiny and introducing me. Flash forward late 1972 death gets his broad idea. The next time this brother tells the lie we gonna have his hide. This just so happens to be at the same time on the eve of my conception post ejaculation father declares to mother you gonna have this baby. These five words caused a cosmic stir that would place me in the middle of simply put some bullshit. When the sperm poke through the egg daddy's words became truth death was enraged this sets the stage for what will become the battle for my life. Four shadow it took death seven months to create the perfect setup. Mom's car jumped a curb crashing to a fence sent my body and umbilical cords in different directions. On the afternoon of September 21st doctors feared the worst. The nurse screams we're losing the baby cold of life around my neck strangling me before my first breath as my soul begins to lift slow fade to black caught a glimpse of fate and told her a yo say my destiny. She said talk to death not to me below I see the doctors prepping my mom for the Syrian section that's when they performed it in the vertical direction black out death slips in lights dim sins of the father passed on to the child little one your daddy's a liar and I will not allow you to be his truth. Truth be told I'm surprised you made it this far far as I know your daddy left you and your mama three months ago so no need to try and live give up now and I'll see that your mom makes it through zoom out through all death's jaw Jack and I was watching what was happening with every contraction the cord was getting tighter mom's was getting tired and the doctors couldn't find a vein mom screams in pain just save my baby. That's when I snapped 360 degree camera rotation I told fate yo you tripping death is playing you he knows the five words my daddy spoke absolute truth you may not be standing in my mother's side but he didn't tell her a lie about me besides I'm not just destined to be his word I'm destined to keep his word reverse angle fate replies you have no idea what you in for this life of yours I think death is trying to do you a favor no need for favors fate no matter what happens in my life I am destined to be great great death huffs as the doctors begin to cut my mother's flesh split screen that's what destiny steps in she slaps the shit out of fate they pull me from my mother's womb she grabs death by his own reaper they unwrap the cord from my neck destiny gives me a wink zoom in my blue face turns pink and I began to breathe in credits one more okay I'm gonna do one more I think this is like one of my favorite favorite favorite is poems I think I've ever written so far because it's actually a story it's actually a nice little children's story that gets urbanized and adulterized in adult way not adulterized in that way it is titled Penny Penny was cold chilling smoking a fatty went out of the sky something fell and cracked her on her head ah shit she said the sky just fell and busted me on my dome I gotta go tell the madam what's going on so she started on her way to tell the madam the haps as she hit the stroll she saw good old goosey loosey fly bird would knock out curves check titty penny bitch get your highest up my blood was like your man didn't fuck you up nah oh I was smoking a fatty you know like this I'm gonna go tell the madam what's going on goosey loosey shook her head her thought was this bitch is tripping she hit the joint said I'ma go chew to see what the madam gonna do so Penny and Penny and goosey loosey continued on their way to tell the madam the haps turkey lurky the local drunk was staying at the corner store when Penny and goosey loosey stopped by for some sunflower seeds, papers, and beer where you up to going it's such a fucking turkey lurky hiccup Penny Penny replied well I was smoking a fatty you know like this when the sky fell and busted me on my dome so I'm gonna tell the madam what's going on turkey lurky lap you said you go tell madam that her thought was ooh leave this bitch guggy lap he hit the joint said I'ma go chew to see what the madam go so Penny Penny goosey loosey turkey lurky continued on their way to tell the madam the haps now the madam lived in the east so they headed to the bus stop when I'll pop cocky locky the local pimp whose feathers got ruffled when he saw goosey loosey hoe where you going strolls in the other direction Penny Penny steps in I was smoking a fatty you know like this when the sky fell bust me on my dome so I'm gonna tell the madam what's going on these two decided to tackle on cocky locky thought madam gonna got you other talking about the sky fell he hit the joint said oh well you best be certain since my hoe ain't working I'm coming to so Penny Penny goosey loosey turkey lurky and cocky locky continued on their way to tell the madam the haps after arriving at their stop they hit the block only to spot lucky ducky the neighborhood quacka ran drugs for the cat pack cool bird she didn't cut nose like hey we are high birds headed Penny Penny rolls joint I was smoking a fatty you know like this when the sky fell bust me on my dome so I'm gonna tell the madam what's going on these three decided to tag along lucky ducky thought ooh this gonna be a quack she hit the joint said y'all gonna need somebody to have y'all back so Penny Penny goosey loosey turkey lurky cocky locky and lucky ducky continued on the way to tell the madam the haps two blocks away from the destination lucky ducky quacks up y'all ever heard of foxy locksy they had heard foxy locksy was a bad dude but no one knew what he looked like because everyone that met him became his food actually foxy locksy was a cross-dressing drag queen who liked to do his thing occasionally helped the madam when he just so happy to see any penny goosey loosey turkey lurky cocky and lucky ducky his eyes got so big he fell from wig and dressed a baggy b-boy style met them on the black next block talking about word it's poetry in motion with all the commotion you fly birds any penny rolls joint I was smoking a fatty you know like this when the sky fell bust me on my dome so I'm gonna tell the madam what's going on these four decided to tag along foxy locksy thought oh yes bitch a five course meal he hit the joint said what's up to set this that good Cali greens huh that's that green crack this too good to be true I want to know what the madam gonna do so any penny goosey loosey turkey lurky cocky lucky lucky ducky and foxy locksy continued on the way to tell the madam the haps any penny started laughing from the giggles you see she put the joint out and said goddamn that's some good ass weed seven Kelly thank you very much