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I was arrested for eight attempted murders. I Was charged with two attempted murders. I was also charged with possession of firearm with intent in danger life Centres to 11 years I've been out three weeks and this is my story God damn it All right Well, I'm originally from Shep's Bush, West London and that's in England if you didn't know and uh A childhood growing up was um full of excitement full of fun Those good bits was bad bits but What was your education like? My education was good And I went I went mouse coverdale primary school that's also in Shep's bush and I attended phoenix high school as a secondary school Um, yeah, what did you leave with what grades did you leave school with and what was school like? Well, I got kicked out From my secondary school, but when I went into people referral unit. I um I got a c and got c will be I've all seen maths um And um, what was the referral unit like the bro has trying to remember his whole report card You was a mid student. Just say I was a mid student. I was mid. I was mid in school. I was just full of loads of kids who You know being kicked out of secondary school and I'll say it's all like troubled kids Troubled kids or You know some some people quite smart there as well, but Everyone has something in common. There was very Very aggressive at times. You're right. I got kicked out of secondary school is what y'all call it We call a high school. I got kicked out of high school Went to a little some place. It's called I'm buds man It's called buds man. I don't it's a alternative school for all the bad kids I used to come up in there and I had my Chevy I had a box Chevy 89 on 24s 412 subwoofers banging had not a care in the world Did not got kicked out Still got a diploma. Didn't I? Got up out of there Early too. I've got you here today. It's all quite the case. I guess that changed your life forever. Okay Um, yeah, can you tell me from the start about the case and what happened? Oh the case that changed my life. I'll say he's um, when I got 11 years in prison, you know Basically what you want to know when I go when I actually got arrested or it's from the start So both the both the charge was you accused of yeah, I was accused of two attempted murders and a possession of firearm were intent to endanger life Tell me about the day you got arrested So the day I actually got arrested was um On my way to on my way to college That's when I got arrested um So I was initially stopped for a search Then officer decided to Take it further and take me to police station before to conduct a strip search And his one was there Cheaters hate this website a spokio name circuit. I feel attacked by this This ad I was assaulted by the police officer I was assaulted by the police officer Because he claimed that I tried to Conceal something Nothing was found but And I was I was punched kicked in my stomach and stuff like that and um After that I was late arrested for obstructing a police officer in That should be the weakest charge is when the police so I'll be noticing man When I got arrested one time in rosemont, it's a suburb in the city called rosemont It's a bunch of bars and clubs over there So I didn't I didn't resist arrest or anything got up against the wall put my hands behind my back They took me to where they took me but they tased me They tased me because I was being loud That's not a that's not a suitable reason to tase somebody So in the police report they have to cover their tracks They said I was that I was a They they charged me with resisting Because they did that so when they do stupid shit like that that they shouldn't be doing They'd be having to charge you they you you you you reap the Percussions of what they do they charge you to cover their such footsteps I was waiting to get out of the police station. That's when uh Another officer from another department came into the cell door The police cell door and he said to me I'm further arresting you on suspicion of um possession of firearm with intent to endanger life But they didn't find that you was charged for something completely nothing to do with this whatsoever No, you know, so now I was I was on bail. I was also on bail So I was on bail for what? I was on bail for a thing You know what you was on? It was a shooting I was on bail for a shooting at that time And so so you already had aggravated charges So when you was on your way to school and they stopped you they knew who you was they knew your reputation So, you know, I'm saying Then it led up to all of this you gotta add that in like that makes sense now I was on bail for I was on bail for something else about car. I can't remember what it was But I just come out of jail that time as well. It was like three months. I've been out. So I'm on tag Oh, man. So when I was in the police station, I was lucky to get bail. But then I was arrested for possession of firearm intent to endanger life And it was a particulars of the case that actually got me reminded into prison Do you know what I mean? So I guess what goes through one's head when you when you hear that It's not not everyone's gonna hear that in their life. So I guess when he said that to you what was the first thing that came to your head I was more worried about getting bail because at the time I don't know If you call it arrogance, but I just wasn't I wasn't it wasn't sinking in too much. I was just more thinking I need to get out of here because I had a music video That was gonna come out I could after I reacted is this is 50 minutes So what was next? So you've now been charged mad at me. Shall we go rest this first? And they just they just said are basically There was a car that was in the area overshooting And my mobile phone that's been attributed to me was also Located in the area and there was messages on my phone being sent to somebody whose cell site from Zeno is um In the area where the shooting took place Okay, they didn't really there wasn't nothing to say that So are they are they trying to insinuate at this point that are they just Someone was shot and they're trying to say that you've text the person at the location of the shooting No, what they were saying at that time was that It's just a suspicion Obviously, yeah, because they're reaching right there. They just trying to tie you to the they trying to tell us trying to tie you to it They were speculating been neighbors reporting stuff and there's witness state statements been taken and what they said was A shooting definitely took place because the crime scene investigation was called to the scene and they found all the bullet case in There was a there was somebody who actually saw the shooting take place and they just said looking at all the evidence at that time the person they think carried out a shooting was me and because of the mode my mobile phone was in that area and The car they believe was used to for the shooting Had also been in that area But they didn't tell me everything at the time. They just told me Just a summary of what's going on and it was up to me to now put my case forward To obviously tell them what had gone on and she knows I was saying. I don't know man. That's a little patchy a little patchy but As I said in the interview. I just said I made it prepared. I still don't understand how they even tied him to the I understand how they tied him to the case But something's being left out statement. I said I wasn't The one who fired the gun. I wasn't in the area of the shooting and That was it. No comment interview So I was just thinking that's gonna be right. I'm gonna go home I'll do this after But then I was called to the desk the front desk and The officers said to you you're being charged And that's where my heart really sunk Because I was I was just thinking I've only just come out So I was next so you've been charged at this stage and then what I was what was the next step after that? I just I got to prison And also I was being visited by my barrister and He told me I changed my barrister three times That's a lawyer if anybody's in america watching That's not a like a coffee maker. It's not a starbucks employee Because I was looking to take the case. I was gonna take the case to trial But the barrister He's came to see me. It was a kc because you should have King queen's counsel at that time qc and now it's the king's counsel because the king's not been thrown So to call it the kc. So I had a qc at that time. It didn't even sound right a queen's counsel um came to see me so queen's counsel is basically um Uh, if you don't have a a lawyer one will be appointed to you The type of situation I forgot what they called them. I ain't been I ain't had a case in so long and Thank god he said to me The best option at this point Was to plead guilty At universal technical institute, you don't have to Well, this sound just like one of them I'd never ever take a a quarter-pointed lawyer, man Because they be on the you don't know who side they really on Everybody in there is friends if you really pay attention when you go to court Everybody is friends. They all homies in there I'm talking the judge the lawyers They're the state lawyer versus your lawyer. They all cool So if they can get you to plead out even though you're innocent, that's what they will do Because they don't they don't take a L You know I'm saying it doesn't cost money to for the going to court cost money. It costs a state money Or whoever whatever y'all call it over there. It costs money So I'd never take a A quarter-pointed lawyer man. I'm going to go higher or something. I don't care You know what I'm saying is And I looked at him Wait, how many years for 10 years? at this point Was to plead guilty for 10 years And I looked at him Now what are you talking about told the lawyer to highlight you when you sober Well, what 10 years out of my job saying at this point like what are you talking about? I I'm not going guilty for no 10 years because 10 years at that time was Getting us. It's just like your whole life. How I'll do it at this stage. I was 20 years old 20 20 years old or 21 I was 20 was 20 Yeah 20 I feel it's 20 21 21 I just turned 21 So I'm just thinking to myself. He's got to get sacked. So I sucked him. Yeah, definitely. So I got another barista And he was just not visiting me on time So sucked him as well and then I got A new barista who Also represented me again in another case Well, I didn't have a you see this time. I had a junior barista and I feel I feel partly that's that played a role in um In the prosecution Sort of like winning the case because there was loads of evidence induced that that shroud I couldn't challenge. That's how I was young, you know So, yeah that time they when I was in prison more of the case paper was sent to me and that's when More of the evidence was unraveling and that's the particulars of you know a video on the internet Funny how after they charge you and you get to jail that you can see everything You can see how your whole case played out and then you could probably pay to get like a um To get it redone or whatever it's called appeal you pay for an appeal of a car that video on the internet of a car that they say I own um Was being smashed up on the net You know Do you own it or not? Saying that, you know I've got problems with people and stuff of that and they're saying that This issue is derives from gang stuff and They call me but I've I've just always made it clear that That's not the case But they was using this this was evidence because that's what they do The police will They'll bring whatever it takes to try and get you convicted and I was up to you to Put your case forward for your defense She's I'm saying so you're in a sticky point at this situation at that point you have to you have to figure out Your way out because you can tell the truth all you want But like I always say my barista told me once he said Cool cases all the time. It's not about the truth. It's not It's about who can lie the best. Yeah That's a fact That's a fact who can get up there and tell that that's lie to convince everybody Because I'm saying so I'm gonna say I feel like that's bogus though like it ties back into what I was saying earlier about, um You know everybody being cool with everybody You know I'm saying in the courtroom They be playing with your life and your freedom and things like that for For their record for their own personal gain and stuff like yo situation where Phone that is a tribute to me situation where A phone that is a tribute to me is leaving an area where they're saying I stay a car That witness to say they saw the shooting take plate like take place from um Is in the area And of course what not unfortunate about the car had a tracker on it And the car is able to Tell you how fast you're going The exact location when the ignition is on when the ignition is off. So all this data Is um Showing it's just linking it to me All of this data all of this CCTV that they ever see your face That they get DNA off the firearm That tied you directly to the firearm. Let's see one yes or no Thinking it to me. So I guess at any stage Drawing this trial because after you've been offered the chance to go guilty Yeah, and I guess when if I'm transparent, I guess the evidence is not looking good So I guess at any stage was you thinking maybe I should have gone guilty even though you believed that you wasn't No because That their their case was I tried to kill two people that's their case and I say that those two people are my friends And how it looks and how you what how they was trying to paint this picture Is it wasn't and so at that time, you know And how long was the trial the trial was I found out two weeks A quick ass trial Come to a verdict I think they took They took I just Half a day Damn Well, they had you pinned to the to it already they made they decision quickly Two week trial Half 12 hours to come to a verdict Half a day. I think it was half a day and a half. I can't remember. I just remember the the verdicts when it came What was your gut feeling prior to that verdict being read out? Would you come back on confidence? To be honest, I was I was I was a kind of very confident and slightly cocky Because I'd been on many cases and It was just a winning streak And I'm a boom winner You know what I'm saying? That's why I said I'm a boom winner So Hey, that's not how that should work not not the court Shoot you talking about you was born winner. You lost the other one you on probation As far as I'm concerned you 0 and 1 You didn't lost every court case It probably could have been worse or but you know what I'm saying, but come on I was confident. I was being You know the gang units was coming to see me and I don't I I do know why but They were just I don't think they wanted me out and I remember my probation officer said to me woman called mariam She said to me. She said You need a lot. You need a long prison sentence because I feel like you need time to reflect this Everybody was against bro PO officer ain't you know what I'm saying? When your PO officer tell you that She's more likely to Call you back and not give you no type of leniency nothing And I was I was I was like any little thing I did not have to take that I just felt like are you wishing if you're wishing bad for me And you know the there's this little gang units that come and see you and they were asking me What are you gonna do when you come out? Do you understand because they knew this was my last case I was on trial for other things Other things I literally just finished a trial a week prior to that trial That I won that I won I had there was seven Endicements on that case One on one and I had a co-defendant on that case as well And we beat we beat every single indictment and there was one charge of I feel was gbh On that case that was left because the jury couldn't come to a conclusion So that was still hanging over me while I was on this trial. Do you feel me? So when the verdict did come? What was the verdict? I was on that trial for the two-centimeter. So they said not guilty not guilty and then The foreman of the jury said they found on the on the firearm. It's like guilty And my my heart sunk a little bit By the same time I just had to keep strong And just think what what now? Just I'm saying what now I knew what the sentence carried You know I'm saying it was gonna be a a big sentence because the prosecution they wanted me really really bad Do you feel me at that time? but in some case I felt like the The trial was a bit unfair in some ways because Every trial has a route to verdict. So when the case has been summed up the judge will always give the the jury Who's the one's presiding on the case? They're gonna they get given a route to verdict. So They'll ask questions for them to come to their conclusion if guilty or not guilty. So they'll say something like if you believe This man was the one who fired the gun on that day Then he's guilty beyond reasonable doubt if you believe beyond reasonable doubt But if you are in doubt or unsure Then the verdict should come back with is not guilty. Right, you know the whole case Was that I was the man who fired the gun I was my defense was I wasn't the guy who fired the gun. I was the passenger of the vehicle But the prosecution Knew what my defense was. So what they did was This is the first time we're hearing that he was the passenger, right? Man, I'm gonna tell you something man. Listen I didn't know that he was even in the car at all Okay He said when he got picked up By the police and they was interrogating them He said he had a no comment Interrogation Which is not fully true because they asked him two questions and he answered the two questions The court or the one question the one that matters or he said to them I was not the one in the car who fired the gun What is this to me personally if there's only two people in this car Passenger driver, I don't know if there was more people but I'm gonna go off what we heard so far That there were two people him and the another person if he says I'm not the person that fired the gun That's not a no comment. That's not a no comment. Um That's not a no comment. That's not a no comment interrogation In fact That's almost snitching that is this is if it's you and me and we both in the car And you say I'm not the one that pulled the trigger then who is Who can you leave to say that that now we know who exact no you just if no comment is Who was in the car no comment? Who pulled the trigger no comment That's snitching At least in America that's snitching If you just say no comment the full way through then hey, we both gonna ride this this sentence out That's the way we want to go. He still got charged though even you know what I'm saying. So I don't know Get the witness the main witness at this point a sixth statement halfway through the trial get cushion I was the passenger of the vehicle But the prosecution Knew what my defense was so what they did was Get the witness the main witness to change the sixth statement halfway through the trial to say that He was mistaken and there was only one person in that vehicle that day Because now it leaves just me in that car And I'm the man on trial for firing the gun. So if there's only one driver And there's a shooter from that car Who do you think the shooter is? Okay Okay Okay Okay So if his lawyer was playing it like They said it was two people and he knows that it wasn't two people and it was just him I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt now because it He almost took it the benefit of the doubt, but I don't know me. It's this is complicated I feel like the wording of this one is complicated I Because if I'm his lawyer And then we're going in the case and the witness says That they seen two people But you know attorney client privilege. I'm telling you Yo, it was only me in the car It was only me in the car, but they have a witness saying they seen somebody else So I'm gonna say even though I know that there was only me in the car Since they said there was two people in the car I'm gonna say hey, it wasn't me. So that was shooting out the window Because if that's how he played it All right, cool. That's not snitching there. That's just that's just playing with the carbs are dealt That's just playing with the carbs were dealt But now they got the the witness to switch it up and say that she only seen one person Which may be the whole hearted truth Now it's like You get me However, do you think the shooter is The driver the driver. This is only one person in the car. Remember, there was two people in the car from the first Statement, right? Okay. I said I was the passenger of that vehicle you know I'm saying They realized what the defense is and they've made the witness change the statement to say There was only one person in that car So if there's only one person in the car and there's one shooter, it's the driver. It's the driver and that's Partly why I feel I got convicted as well But also the judge the root of verdict said that if you believe I knew the firearm was in the car. So that's not what I was on trial for It I wasn't on trial for knowing the firearm was in the car. I was on trial for Shooting the gun out of the car. Do you understand? What was the firearm? I was a mac 10 submachine gun Yo, like mad mac fly I mean At that time They brought they actually brought a mac 10 to court And during the trial the prosecution made me hold the gun in court I didn't hold the gun. I just I just held the gun with my two hands like that And I asked to put it down But what they did was Take the gun With the shoulder cock I don't know if you've seen the submachine Machine gun before oh, well, yes You know some of them have the silencer But they bought this gun to people in the jury that's never held a gun And passed it to each individual individual to hold it some of the jury didn't want to just hold this gun like what? I'ma let y'all know right off back a mac 10. That's not a silencer on there I mean it is but a mac 10 if you shoot it is loud regardless It's a muzzle to stop the recoil It kind of calms it down a little bit Allegedly is what I've heard Yeah, no, they doing they best to put him in there They doing they best That whole route thing is crazy how they switched it up. Did you do you believe that it was in the car? That ain't what I'm on trial for I would have his lawyer was supposed to say whoa, whoa, whoa You gotta reword that do you believe he was the shooter or not? What's going on? And this this man here saying fired this gun So they oh god, it's it's like it's like a it's like a show They made a video of a melon a watermelon next to a glass And they got the firearms expert to fire the gun Court to know an individual played to the jury to fire the gun to show you what the gun was capable of And the gun misfired I think like three times but On the other test the gun fired and each time they used to shoot a watermelon So they was trying to show the jury. This is what the intention of Mr. Deesa this was intention was on that day That's why the how they was trying to secure the The attempt to murder case A submachine as mac 10 once you're shooting There what they what it sounds like They try to jam them for eight or 10 murders. That means there was eight people in the general area that he shot at You telling me he shot that and missed all of those shots out of a mac I'm almost positive. Y'all don't know how bullets come out of a mac when you hitting them back to back So it's like Neither do I this is all allegedly. I don't condone that type of behavior but allegedly It's it's it's hard to miss a group of 10 people or eight people It's kind of tough Now but also at the same time Having this knowledge in my head him driving arm out the window Mac 10s do misfire and you got to fix him Allegedly One hand on wheel This is probably a manual car Foot on clutch and gas at the same time Trying to hit with this Hey, man, this is tough. No I'm a little the case was a machine gun On the crime scene there was bullet casing to the right and bullet casing to the left So There's there was also bullet casings further down further down the road. There was bullet casing everywhere, you know and they're saying There's no way this man wasn't intending to kill somebody But our defenses are defense you know And yeah, they came back with a not guilty verdict Okay, not by wrong because the root of verdict was if you feel he knew the gun was in the car You know It's a two-seater already. How'd you already so you're sitting close close proximity of each other, you know, if they two people in the car Sitting next to each other, you know They asking how does he not know That this person is carrying the gun I know you're seeing the movies people do carry gun on their waistbands Do you know what I mean? So I don't necessarily have to see a gun. Yeah, it's very possible that he didn't know that it was in there Especially if he got picked up as a passenger I'm already in the car on the driver's seat. I've got it wherever I got it. You you never know And then it's possible when the girl virtue is well, tell me about the day that you were sentenced And what was that? I was sentenced on the same day I asked to be sentenced on the same day Because I had everyone waiting to put their two pence in and I didn't want that probation The gang's unit everyone tells the two pence to say whatever they want to say Even though even though some people smile to my face So I didn't want to go through that. I just said I want my sentence today I'm going to be sentenced report and the judge accepted And I will sentence the 11 years When you heard 11 years, what did you think? I have a challenge for all of you go to every computer in your house your mom's your dad's your sister. You know what they thought He was hurt Well before I was given 11 years, I had to put my mitigating factors forward and My virus obviously told the judge that I was I was a young man trying to that add aspiration to be a musician and to give me a chance to come out to do music And uh, what do you think about 11 years from that was too harsh lenient For the firearm I understood I understood That's how long it's always double figures when it's a machine gun So It wasn't a surprise. That's what the sentence I got was it was justified It was justified because of the case it was if you look at the guidelines because of the case And what it was the gun was fired it was in the streets of london It was in broad daylight There's witnesses to say that There was people being Being drove off door, you know, so call it tell me what prison was like for you Oh prison was prison was up and down man prison was up and down at the beginning Also, I didn't really get to settle in prison. That's one thing. I didn't really get to settle in prison for around three years Of my time you mean settle because I don't think a lot of people have to rely. What do you mean settle in prison? Well settle because I was I was being further arrested for other other other other crimes You know and it was always Firearms related. So, you know, I'm having to move prisons again, you know, so I had to go another trials Why you're in prison? Well, I was in prison. Yeah, they come and arrest you in prison Um, I'm not the charge for why you're in prison Uh attempt to murder Attempt to murder Another two attempted murders. Oh four four more attempted murders. Yeah. Yeah, but Later run down the line you have to do your legal arguments and stuff of that so Because there was other people present there was Man, well, he got convicted of this they was trying to give him all the charges Any cold case they had around the area was going to him? Oh, yeah, no, it's him get him. I think there was there was six people present But four was in close close proximity of The guy who had been shot So that's why oh, okay. Okay. I came with the four time to murder, but then you argue That you know legal arguments and then they drop it they drop it and they add of our Over end that means into the thing just so that everyone agrees and then you look at the evidence and then take it to trial You're saying you're saying it took you three years to settle. So I'm assuming they all concluded after three years And what was it and results to all of those cases and John? It was not guilty not guilty not guilty You know, some of them and if they didn't the police station There was loads of there was loads of cases, but some of them I can't really Really get into but Yeah Do you think your childhood had any impact on I guess these choices And I guess doing ended up so much prison time. Do you reckon if you've been in a referral unit when you were a child? Do you reckon that these I guess shaped your upbringing and your your adulthood? Well, I wouldn't say shake shake my adulthood, but you know, it kind of like it kind of brings you around Certain people it brings around some people and it makes you it makes you a certain way as well Sometimes, you know, because I have to say you're a product of your own environment sort of, you know, sort of sort of, you know growing up, you know people having to be, you know tough having to be tough and You don't have to be tough but growing up If you're not tough round tough guys this You're gonna be literally You're gonna be food Just I'm saying So after you settled after three years in prison What was prison like from that point on three years onwards? I was just trying to do better. I was trying to do better No, but it was just I didn't really have a I didn't really have focused at that time. I didn't really have focus But I was trying to find my still trying to find my purpose, you know, that's that's the main thing Do I have your purpose in life? And that's why I always tell everyone You have to have a purpose and what you're doing because if you don't is like If you don't have a purpose, you know, you're always gonna Just do anything really and I always give the example of If I invited you on a journey and I said to you, we're going for a drive If we if we keep driving eventually you're gonna ask me where we going? Where are we going? And if I just said to you Just hang tight We're gonna be there soon There will still be that question in your mind. I still where are we going? And that's with life in general if you don't have A direction and an end goal You can find yourself being swayed by other things And I have to admit through my life sometimes, you know, I was I was in some aspects of my life and I was Involved in certain things, you know But eventually, you know, life's Life's about making mistakes, you know, Rome wasn't built in the day as well Nothing is perfect. So slowly but surely, you know, find myself I just move forward. And what was the worst experience that you had in prison? Hey, Miami Nothing is perfect. Isn't a circle perfect Isn't a triangle perfect too? First experience that you had in prison I had loads of experience, but I'll say one one experience that I had that I did kind of I did kind of like Think like what the fuck It's one a group of guys. I love a group of guys two guys came in myself and Tried to stab me I wouldn't say I don't say tried to stab did stab me Did stab me with an ice pick Did I mean by that story? Stab me with an ice pick But it was like there was a guy who He's always asking me for things like Maybe wants a box of eggs he wants I don't know tuna But I felt like it was very manipulative this specific guy and I remember him Coming to me to say oh I heard so-and-so it's saying Something something but he didn't say that like he just burst into my door and I had a thing in prison in prison Don't just come into my into my soul. I don't really have people come to me. I go to people So I've warned him about it before he's a quite a big guy about it's in prison for me It didn't matter what size it was. It's just I'm just confident guy Don't come to myself like that. You know what I mean? And on this specific day came barged in yo cola And I was like what it's like, oh I said no I didn't say what I said, bro What did I tell you because wherever you want to say to me? I want to address my issue first Why did you barge into my door when I already told you not to do that? Yeah, that's how prison goes a little thing turning the big things is all about respect I asked you not to barge in is my you know, we in prison. I'm already on edge and you tweaking by barging in my door It's gonna send me off the deep end. So what's what's up? I asked you once So now it's an issue I feel you He looked at me and he said forget that I Didn't walk the way but that's how I knew like this guy's heart wasn't so pure Because if you if you knew something was going on and you wanted to inform me as to what was going on You would still tell me regardless of What my attitude was at that time because you sincerely hear The only reason why you moved the way you move is because you only wanted to benefit from giving me that information For later on for yourself So he left about five minutes later I remember I was there I'm doing what I was doing Crashing and I remember just seeing the head like that Like like literally trying to you for me, but I want that I've done I just had a Quick reflex. I still don't know. I went like that. Sorry. That's funny got out of the cell You for me and I went into my next doors and then I just remember looking at my chest And it was literally blood like that and I for that was the time of for fuck I've been stabbed in my heart because that's where your heart is. I thought shit. I've been stabbed in my heart You know And um, who'd been dead? Really? Yeah, I took off my top And remember the guy next door. He's he's a good guy and he's he's he's he said to me I'm gonna chill out. Chill out. Let me see. Let me see and he just looked over me like check Check my body and then found where the source of the bleeding was and he said, oh, don't worry man It's not that bad. It's not that bad But it means I got stabbed in my in my bicep as well You know what I'm saying? So the stab in my bicep And the one under my chest was the one that turned my top red So I quickly took off Took off my t-shirt and tore and and tied it around the one on my arm because a bit a bit more fleshy and I remember the I don't know one of the guys was trying to take something from myself at that time You know and this incident was based on somebody else freshly stabbed. They try to rob you because I saw them. They had we had to admit like Our altercation of each other and I saw him in the gym saw the guy in the gym and Obviously the guy thought he was tasty at that time who When I came to actually Be in front of his face with no one there. It wasn't that wasn't the situation So he came off he came off worse than I did even though he instigated it and um I went back went back And the word got around and it's always the always the lifers in prison, you know, a lot of people say, oh, I don't don't talk to the lifers Don't you know, that's the thing in prison. The lifers probably don't know this but people that are not doing life It's always saying no, listen, don't associate yourself with the lifers. Their mindset is different You know I'm saying screw the lifers but I just yeah, but I always show love to everyone and I always show love to this guy because of his his co-defendants and stuff like that, but moving forward You know that incident happened and Yeah, it just made me more of a Yeah You know, but I ended up dealing with it You know, I dealt with the situation one by one Carla, can you tell me the worst memory that you had while you was in prison? Oh, one of the worst memory was um Just had him no money having no money Back in I think it was too you had nobody out on outside giving you putting money on your books or nothing before 2012 I let you run out of money man because Things weren't going too well and you know, there's people outside you think oh, yeah, everyone's got you But realistically the only people that really happy is your family Right more time. You don't really call your family. You call your friends, you know, but most of my friends were in jail you feel me and um It was one girl I used to talk to she was my good friend You nice to look after her help her out when I was outside And I remember calling her it was you used to get 50p a week You know, I used to put 50p on the phone You get 2 pound 50 but they take 50p for the phone Then you have to maybe want to use one pound for something back then it was crazy And you only used to have the phone outside this blue box to use So I remember going on the phone. I had 50p and I had to make one phone call. I called her quickly. I said yo Send me money because I said try to send me 25 to 50 pounds. You know because I really need it I've got no money literally and because of somebody I've Really been around and looked out for yeah, why wouldn't they look after me at this time in need so I was thinking yeah the the postal order because I backed them But yeah, right that ain't how that worked Ain't no loyalty What can you do for her at this time you I can't do nothing for her You're gone. You are replaced You can send postals into prison. I was thinking raw this postal dot It's gonna come through any minute now Thursday came because the credit goes on every Thursday So I used to put this 50p on to make this call And um I went on the prison phone to make this phone call So I didn't get the money. I remember the girl saying Oh, you know what? Yeah, I can't I couldn't send you that money because I had to do something I had to use it for something else and I thought what could be more important then Me needing that money 25 quid at least do you know what I mean? And I just I felt so hurt man I felt so hurt because I I just she probably got her nails done, which is the crazy part When I when I when I look after people when I check for people is with sincerity, you know There's no hidden agendas, but I do that Not because I want something back, but When you are in need you never know when that time is going to be you feel like the people that you looked out for She look after you you know, I mean I mean everyone's Has their own option. They have a choice in life to do whatever they want to do But it's it's only normal if someone's looked after me. I'm a very appreciative person I'll always have your back, you know, so at that time I just It was a that's how I am too You know saying so when when people I get with exactly what he's saying like When people do something stuff to you it hurt more When you know, you would never do it to them. I would never do you like that That's why I'm so hurt about it because you did it to me like I get that a very dark moment and I remember calling You know getting one of my she actually wrote to me one of my friends You know, she wrote to me check if I'm okay and stuff for that And I told I wrote to her and I said she goes do you need anything? I said, yeah Send me a post or do you she said do you want to send your post? I said, yeah She sent me a number I registered a number And I remember she this girl was pregnant at the time She was such a pregnant with her for the first child and yeah, she went she sent me 50 pounds You know So to this day, I never forget that she's still my friend to this day So to myself And I met this specific girl Through that other girl But she's still my friend to this day than the other one very sincere, you know, I mean And I just I just felt It'd be great. It'd be like that man people who you least expect like they'd be doing stuff for you more than More than people that you've known the whole lifetime You know, not everyone you started the journey with you're always gonna end the journey with facts and sometimes People are put into your life for you to meet other people So don't always think like all the people you're with today is the people you're gonna be with forever You know sometimes those people just coming For a specific part of your life to teach your lesson And other people are blessed, you know, you're blessed with other people that's gonna help you You know, enjoy your life and get to the places you want to get to Strangers in fact be your biggest supporters. I learned you know how I learned that obviously social media taught me that I can ask some of my friends and I don't blame them It's not for them my content not for them, but I can ask them. What was the last video I put out? I would have no clue. Some people didn't even know I did YouTube. It's crazy Well, you know, it's not crazy, but it's just like damn All right But you got to keep in mind like people be in their own world They don't even be paying attention to the outside stuff. They got their own stuff going on It's like cool. I make this stuff for the homies Y'all the homies we make it for y'all I mean, but yeah, that was one of my darkest moments in In prison, man, you know, just having nothing that needs actually needed something and being let down by the people that you thought I Sincerely thought was Gonna be there for me So tell me about the day caller, um, Ashley How long have you been home there? I've been home only for three weeks now So you said three weeks three weeks. Yeah What was that feeling like three weeks ago when you got released? I just felt very very Liberated because this is the fight of final years. This is like, I'm literally a free man. How old are you? I'm 32 now. So you're 20 is a My what I see and I wasted all my 20s enjoyment What advice would you give to swungola? I guess because the next generation I think everyone always says the next generation is bad the next generation is bad But this generation does seem very very bad and doesn't really I guess it's almost like prisons killed glamorized Someone's cool because but no one ever tells you that you know in the long run. You're gonna suffer You're literally gonna suffer you're gonna spend all your life in jail because You want to impress people that actually don't care about you Like most people around yes, you can be in a gang you can can roll with wherever you want to roll with But when real life really hits These people are gonna be there if you have your own home, for example, and you went to prison You have to ask yourself how many of the people around you Can you leave your home with To be responsible to Those bills those direct debits. Can you actually say you know what? Help me look after this You might have got your calm finance How many of your friends when you look around can you say this person would look after my Belongings like it's their own That's deep as hell no one Then no one's gonna pick up your bills Unless you got money in the bank and they might take the money You know most people around you to just to just in it for what it can get and that's what the streets don't understand So when you when you're in the streets, you just think everyone is yeah my my my bro Yeah, my guy my guy and you think oh, they might send you a few money here and there That makes them your friend but realistically when you when you're really deep in your real friends They don't want you to do bad things Do you know what I'm saying? They're always trying to channel you for greatness. They want you to be the best Like none of my close friends ever tell me to go and do certain things They want me to do well and they always tell me to chill out. You know And cola, what was the biggest change that you noticed? I love shopping the railroad. It's Gucci It's just everyone's Solitude of the world when you come out and cola What was the biggest change that you noticed in society of the world when you come out? It's just everyone's Oh, he been locked up since 2012. So he You missed a lot buddy very very self-centered. Oh, yeah That's what I believe a lot of people just self-centered on it. It's like I feel like he got locked up right before social media So social media will make you very self-centered, man If you're not benefiting people You know, you don't really want to know Yeah, do you know what I mean? But that's how the game is always been like, you know, I've been told told that, you know, when I was young But seen as an adult because life really gets serious, you know, you've got responsibilities now. So You start realizing how people behave and people move Everyone could be with you today smiling smiling as soon as things are not going well You'll be left Cola was different. Why would you never go about the prison again? Because I have more focus in life You know, and I'm in control of me She I'm saying I have a choice And I've spent my time reflecting on myself. I don't I don't point fingers I don't blame the world. I don't hey low key. Remember he said the probation The probation officer said that he needed a long sentence so he could reflect Was she wrong? People's for The things I went through I don't say it's anyone's fault. It's it's my fault because I have I have a choice to make Which I'm saying and I always even it even in Little bad situations that I find myself in I always ask myself First of all, what do I take responsibility for? And I always try and find the positives in the negative and sometimes when I feel I wouldn't say The old me and The bad times coming out. I always take a step back and always remind myself All those bad times I've been through because I've I'm blessed. I always say I'm blessed You know, you say bad times talking about the worst memory of your life of my life There's there's many There's many many many single it out to pick one it's just I wouldn't I wouldn't really get into it man, you know, but there's there is many that I can't really go into man Tell me one that you can't go into like a worst memory of my life There's something you'll never forget. I'll say one you know one situation when um I was nearly shot I was nearly shot Tell me what happened I was standing there and you Came to check a few guys, you know, and uh, everyone's standing there And I remember the guys I was with was like Joe that car over there is moving suspicious I've always been a confident guy. I'm not really watching nothing and um We're standing there and I remember the car just coming around coming around and pulls up right in front of me The car pulls up in front of me and um Everyone around But I stay there so I remember the window going down and there was few firearms like just pointing at me just clicking click click click Oh jam and I just remember rusty things the the the the the person that was Sitting further further away from the car. So let's say the car is facing like that The driver's there The shooters is in the back of the car And I'm standing right here. So The person sitting here While this person's trying to shoot me The person over here is lent over And tried to shoot his gun as well, but the gun just wasn't working I'm saying all the guns in the car wasn't working That's crazy Think about how rare that is like all the guns wasn't working It's cool down all them joints was rusty not matching The cost better So that's that's one of moment feel they want to run back as they call up fucking hell Should I saying So so I guess that life that you was a part of What advice would you give to people who are I guess in that now 1920? And why were you never got back there? It's not it's not like I don't like to say I was part of it, but You know we grew where I grew up is You know Things happen things My advice Is that it is what it is when you in it But just keep a mental note Of what's going on around you because a lot of these people is not going to be there For you really Because they also in the same boat as you so when you get in trouble you're gonna have to go away They still got to handle real life situations on the street So just be aware That there is another option there's other ways there's other options, you know What's happened, but I just say to people you just be Being controlled of you You don't have to address every issue Thanks, you don't have to address every single situation that People who try and get you involved in You have to confident in yourself what you would do Because my mom always says to me when I was when I was younger She always goes don't give the police Don't be the job for the police to do and I didn't quite understand what she she meant at that time like Don't give police work to do don't be their job But it's only as I got older realize, you know what? When I'm finding myself in this situation That's the job for the police to do and their business is getting convictions I'm the one in the court whenever I've been in court. I'm the reason why everyone is in court Yeah And I'm the one I face is the most consequences in court But guess what everyone else who Triggered all of this guess where they are they're nowhere. They're probably they're probably standing as victim they're standing as witnesses They're standing as informants She understand I'm saying and I'm I'm there And regardless of how many friends how many people got you You're there by yourself You are the one that's going to face the consequences. So you go always remind remind yourself that you have a choice not to Be the job for the police and I always remind myself that all the time It's a good advice from your mom. W mom tell me the best memory of your life I say the best memory of my life is when I made my first sale Of Barnes-Garrelli my clothing brand You know what I'm saying? Oh, okay. That's that's one of the best memory because I always I always I never thought I was wondering what this hoodie was It's a kind of low-key look designer. I was like, that's just tough hoodie So if I would make something that would actually sell Legally Which is I'm saying so when I sold my W promo to t-shirt Funny enough when I was in prison It gave me a boost and the way everyone received it you know more people wanted this clothing brand and You know till this day When I was in prison all those years When I got recalled, you know people was asking what do you miss about outside? You know, most people think I was missing Going out with girls or partying or You know eating food. It was awesome. I didn't miss nothing like that What I'd missed was just waking up to my clothes in my bed all the clothes I sold I'm waking up to my embroidery machine Cole I wouldn't say thank you for sharing your story. Um and before we finish is there anything that you'd like to say I'd like to say, um, thanks for having me first of all and um Everyone watch in go follow bongs gurelli on instagram on snapchat And don't just be lit the bongs gurelli lit Don't just be lit be the lit one till they leave a like comment subscribe turn on the post notifications. I'm gone