 You're welcome back to the final lap of our journey this morning and we're talking about a trend which could be worrisome to a lot of people and that is how to to safeguard your kids as it were from getting unwholesome content from the internet. The internet has come to stay. We cannot say it is no longer going to be a thing because it's come. Technology has brought it to us but how do we do the needful such that they don't get to go to that point where they get unwholesome content from the internet and just go through them like they say you are what you see you are what you think you are what you say and so many other things. We are going to talk with somebody who will help us give some pointers. Her name is Muta Ngozi Igwio King. She is a lawyer. We're glad to have you this morning. Good morning and welcome to the show. Good morning. Good morning. Thank you for having me. Okay now apart from the fact that it's important to communicate with your children and then you buy them phones. Some people see it as something of class. My child is having a phone, an android phone as young as five, as young as seven, as young as ten and now we're complaining about unwholesome content which you might not have a hold on. What are your comments? Yeah thank you for having me. So like you said having a phone and a mix of communication with the children is very important. I'm here working. I need to communicate with my kids at home so but apart from that we find out that this is a lot of requests and homeworks and assignments and a lot of things that are sent to the children from their schools and various projects that they need to do online. So usually you expect or things that the parents will be available to assist but most times we all know the situation being a working parent and coming back home probably late at night and the children have to submit the next day and all of that. So if those gadgets may be a necessary evil let me use that word. So it's necessary me to communicate. The children need to know that you can reach them at any point in time but the catch there is to be able to monitor what they have access to. So you need to be sure that the children know what they're doing. There has to be some kind of communication. Just like I have girls just like I said that I'll talk to my children about body name and body what is appropriate and inappropriate. You also need to sit down and talk to the children like this is appropriate online. This is how to manage your online presence. There's cyber security you can teach them. There is a data theft. There are a whole lot of things that can go wrong. There could be online praise on the children both male and female. It has nothing to do with girls now. So anybody online could just be there predictors looking for a child that is scrolling by and they could steal their data. There's something called data protection. So if you don't have usually not properly carried along or sought out how to protect their data online there could be like an identity theft, data theft and you find out that someone is using their identity to commit crime somewhere. So in as much as necessary necessary to have the children online for whatever reason, this is a tech world I mean a lot of children do coding, the children train online. We also use the technology and the internet to get the children to be busy aside their usual schoolwork to learn you know side hustle then putting like that. So in as much as we're teaching them that we should not leave them unmonitored online. So awareness is very important. Communication is key. They need to understand what they do. Yeah but most of the things that we complain about don't even come from the regular usage of whatever we're talking about gadgets. It comes from the pairs. So sometimes they don't even have the phones but their pairs who have the phones will show them so many things and they too will be craving for that phone and once they have it they want to explore as well. They just want to be independently doing these things you know under the duvet they're watching some things that they shouldn't watch and all that. So how do we control our children and control their pairs? So um it is uh parenting is a vocation. So it's not something you just have to you have children is one thing parenting your children is another thing. So you have to be a present parent. You have to be one step ahead of your kids. You have to know all of the things that happens like I think I've I came across somewhere there's like a list of codes that the pairs used to communicate with themselves. Maybe if you open the door mother in the room something something I've seen all of that at the point I'm like I'm not supposed to memorize all of this and even if you memorize I find out that they develop they're always fast tracked. So you have a mom or a parent tell me not to say mom a parent needs to also be on your toes aside from putting them in the hands of god of course but you need to know what's going on. So the parents too you have to know the people your children are friends with. So share with your friends that I don't know who you are. I need to know who my children relates with any name that comes constantly. So that is also being able to listen. Parents a lot of time we're on our phone the children are coming to say something even sometimes in my father that child may have tried to communicate something. There may be slight sort of changes in the children. You need to be observant. You need to check. You need to listen even if he means he's working on their conversations and especially if they have siblings they're like the closest. So there must be that communication to tell them and let them know that they can keep secrets aside from doing your own as a parent. You need to have that communication and understand. You need to teach the children to know that this is wrong. This is right. Yeah well tech is here to stay. Yeah tech is here to stay and but then we need to and in agreement with what you're saying by the way that parents need to be a step ahead of their children. But let's look at some of the practical ways that parents can actually do this beyond what you just mentioned. He said also when he was speaking that some have made it a status thing where you have kids who are not old enough because in my opinion children who are not old enough should not be given phone. But child is not up to 14, 15, 16 should not be given phone. They can easily be manipulated. Even those who are 14, 15, 16 can still be easily manipulated. Exactly. In the case of the boy in the U.S. who was manipulated to commit suicide. So what are some of these practical steps that parents can take? One of the steps I take, I sneak in. Yes. While you know unexpectedly I sneak in without knocking, without my you know no shoes. Just open the door. Yes. I burry my eyes and grab the phone so that I can quickly see what they're doing. Because we don't have to do it quickly. Very quickly, they are fast. So even at that there's a wheel in my house you don't lock your door. There's no locked door. We have opened the policy. I don't want to come and be knocking for you before I enter. I just open the door. And so from that I have just like you said you open. Even if the door is closed, I don't, I just open. Sometimes in the middle of the night, you just wake up. You just have to be, I don't know how, the energy will just come. You have to be on your toes. Aside from that. They are underaged. They are underaged. Because some people would say no matter how young, they still are entitled to some kind of privacy. No. No, not at this, no. No, no, no, no. They are your responsibility. I just wanted to get that out. Well not all you both, you are not. Yeah. So I thought from that you also have to, you can have a passworded, I mean content. Okay, like my children, I think at the point you have to create an email for them on all of that. And then the school, I had to route. I think Gmail has something like that, that before they download anything, you have to have your code. So you need to approve it. So it comes to me. So sometimes even if I'm delaying, they might call me, mommy, there's something that I want to download. It's in your, can you? So I need to check it to see what you're downloading. Sometimes I go through the download. Okay, you said you are doing homework. I need to be sure that is homework you are doing. So that is it. You have to just be checking and checking and communicating as much as you can. And you don't want them to be online or maybe with their peers, just like you said, and they have downloaded inappropriate content and then under the bed, they are doing that. And from there, they're sharing with people. And before you know, somebody is trying to take advantage and maybe trying to, what's the code now, to get them home. If you don't do this, I'm going to share your pictures online and all that. And then before you know it, they succumb to whatever pressure that comes. So there's so much pressure out there. We as parents, we just have to be on our toes and present and active and think ahead. And it's a full-time job. Well, we're just talking the other time earlier about the challenges that parents have that sometimes your only salvation is that they are in school because you have to work your fingers off before you can put food on the table. Because of the Nigerian situation, because I know some other places, there are people who resign from their jobs. They want to be moms to their kids until they grow enough to take care of themselves. But if you do that, here's stuff to death. Juggling the challenge of having to make some money and then taking care of your kids could be very, very, very, very difficult. What are some of the recommendations that you would say someone can do and balance the two? You are working more like you work. But you still have kids and you take care. What is the magic that you do? We have like one minute. So there's no magic. Whatever works for him may not work for me. So it depends on you finding time and structuring around it. And of course, you have to make that a priority as a parent. Just like you said, some parents just, oh, school has resumed. They just push everything to the teachers and to the school. And even sometimes, even when a teacher observes and tries to communicate to the parent, the parents are defensive. They're like, no, my child can't do that. Your child is doing that. There's no, I'm living in denial. It's the real... So myself, I tell, even though I'm not, I need to know what is going on. I speak to the teachers in school. I check my children's bag. I don't want to see what I didn't buy in your bag. This pencil is yours. It's not yours. How did you get it? How? Why did you ask or did you tell me you had drawn out if we're weak? So you need to be, you just have to be. And then as much as you provide, in quotes, it's not by providing the best trendy handbags and school bags and shoes, just know that you have to be present and do what works for you as a mom or as a father or as a parent. And then listen to that story just to run down. I think there's a recent one where it was even another parent that told the mother that the daughter was doing something on her phone with other children. Because they do things right under your nose and you may not even know. And the child is innocent. You think, well, my child is the best. Listen to other views. Review it. Know your child. Even when you say I know my child, she can't do that. Still have that thing. It doesn't mean you don't trust her. It takes a community. So you have to be open to, I mean, complaints or whatever comes out from out there from the teachers. As long as you're not being biased about it and they are not being mean, listen. They would know. Okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's just a pity. This is where we have to draw the curtain. We've been talking with Mutangosi Igwero King, a legal practitioner. It's been a pleasure having you in the house. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Pleasure having you. Same here. Okay. Before we go, we'll leave you with these words from Henry David Thoreau. And he says, not until we are lost, do we begin to understand ourselves? So are you lost? That main lamb bridge is not to ourselves. Use that as a teachable moment for yourself. It's good to know that you've been there with us till this moment. My name is Nyam Ghul Aghaji. I am Maarin. In no way is it good to have a splendid day and week.