 There's a lot of people screwing up these days and every other day we're seeing apology after apology after apology. Well, I am personally the king of screw ups, but I've been able to earn forgiveness throughout the years. So in this video, we're going to be talking about people screwing up and how you actually earn forgiveness. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you improve your mental and emotional well-being. So make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. But there's an even bigger announcement because I recently started a playlist about how to apologize the right way, okay? And like I said in the intro, I'm a huge screw up and I've had to learn how to apologize in the right way and how to earn forgiveness. But I'm going to be starting another playlist very soon because I kind of analyze things from pop culture and people messing up and analyze their apologies and kind of see like what they're doing and if we should forgive them and stuff. But I'm going to start following up on these people because for some of them it's been some months and like looking back and saying like, did they earn our forgiveness? Okay? So I want to share my personal story with this and give you some tips because if you're a screw up like me, like it's important to learn how you earn forgiveness. Like in the thumbnail and this is going to be a theme throughout this video is your actions speak louder than words, okay? So for those of you who don't know me, I'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. I have six years clean. Like I burnt every bridge that you can imagine. Friends, family, jobs, strangers, everybody. I was a liar. I was a cheat. I was a thief. I did so many awful things and people wanted nothing to do with me. Six years ago, nobody would talk to me. I didn't even have a couch to crash on when I was homeless because people hated me that much. But today, I have just about everybody back in my life and have these amazing relationships and so much of it is because I realized that my actions speak louder than words. How many times? How many times did I screw up over and over and over and over again and just say sorry to people and say like, how many times? And I have to empathize with them when they don't give me their forgiveness because I have been doing this over and over like sorry's just a word. Like what does that mean? What does it even mean? Like we have to prove these things. So the first thing I want to talk about here is if you're somebody looking for forgiveness, you got to realize it doesn't happen overnight. Like my addiction and my awful behavior lasted for nearly a decade. And then all of a sudden I'm 30, 60, 90 days clean. And I expect everybody to forgive me. Like no, that's not how it works. Like you have to earn that. You have to prove yourself. You have to prove that you're changed because for most people in my life, they were just waiting for me to screw up again. You know what I mean? And it was frustrating. It was very difficult, but I had to be patient with it. I had to realize how much harm I did to other people. And here's the thing too. Like I often teach my clients this at the Mental Health Treatment Center I work at, where we also specialize in drug addiction. Like I have to look at my own self, right? How easy is it for me to forgive? You know what I mean? Like so many of us expect other people to forgive us almost immediately. Yet you or these other people, like you're holding on to resentments from when you were like 12 years old, like 20 years ago. You haven't forgiven that kid who like stole your milk at lunchtime or whatever it is. So like if it's so hard for me to forgive, why should I expect other people to forgive me right away, right? So the other thing that I learned, you know, was that my actions speak louder than words. One of my favorite quotes, one of my favorite quotes from a book and some of you might know which book this is and it says, but the wise family will respect him for what he is trying to be rather than what he is trying to get. Okay. So one of the most difficult relationships I under repair was with my son's mom. Like I often joke about this, but it's not really a joke. Like for the first two years of my sobriety, my name wasn't even Chris to her. It was just pizza. Okay. It was just your pizza. Like that's just what it was. Like I was an awful person. I was, you know, using our rent money on drugs. I wasn't, you know, providing for our son in the right way. You know, even when we split up, I was like spotty with child support and helping like buy stuff. Like I was a terrible person and did my first year sober. I didn't even work. I was pending disability and like she thought I was an awful person. But today we have this amazing a beautiful and beautiful relationship. She's one of my best friends and she's remarried. She has another son and like I hang out and you know, we talk and stuff like she used to call me and basically say, Hey, here's what's going on with our son. Just wanted you to know, bye and hang up. And I'm like, okay. Right. And today, like she sits down and have his conversations with me. She respects what I have to say. So what I'm talking about is like you have to earn this thing and you have to put in the work. Like she saw me. She saw me when I moved back to Vegas after about 15 months of sobriety. I was going to work every single day and riding an hour and a half bus ride to and from work. Okay. And I had to be at work at seven o'clock in the morning, which means I had to get on the bus at five 30 in the morning. I was making bare minimum. I was thinking I was making like 20k a year, maybe less. And like she wasn't on me for about how much money I was making. She was just sitting there like, who is this guy? Like who is this guy who is showing up to work every day for a job that's barely paying him because that's not the guy that she used to know. You know, I used to call in sick all the time. I used to avoid work. I used to dodge work. I used to be all about the money and stuff, but she respected me for what I was trying to be. But aside from that, and the way I proved myself to the other people in my life, is I started being a better person in all aspects of my life. You know, like what we're seeing, what we see in society, all these public figures who are screwing up, getting caught and apologizing, they're not changing their behavior. They're not trying to balance the universe, if you will. Like they apologize for this one terrible thing that they did, and then they keep doing more terrible things and they're like, okay, but it wasn't this thing. So we're okay. And when I break down YouTubers and celebrities and stuff like that, you'll understand more of what I mean. But like, I became nicer. I became kinder. I became more generous. I became more selfless. You know, like people started to see me, you know, doing things for other people without expecting anything in return. But the other thing is, is that I wasn't bragging about it. I was doing it just like it was my duty to the world to just be a better person. I wasn't calling people up and saying, yo, guess what I did for a homeless person today? Or, hey, I just helped out a coworker. Or, hey, you know, I went over and helped a friend. Like I wasn't just bragging about it. Like, that's the other thing. And I can make a whole video series about this. Like, just do the good thing and don't expect recognition from it. Like people will see it. People will see it. And like, I get it because we get this thing in our head where it's almost like if a tree falls in a forest, does it really make a sound? We think like, if I really do a good thing, is anybody going to notice? And like, that's a terrible way to live. Here's why. Because if you keep doing good things and wanting people to notice, if people don't notice or give you the recognition that you think you deserve, then you stop doing those good things. You see what I mean? So it's like this, this whole thing where you're self-sabotaging, this new image that you're trying to create. All right. So we just got to start doing the things. And people will notice. Like, those of you who know me and watch my channel, like I look at people, I analyze people. I'm all about mental health and the human psyche. And just trying to understand why people do the things they do. I'm watching and I'm not the only one who does this. Other people do. So, you know, when you go into work and you just work hard and work hard, like you will get the recognition that you need. Like it might not be when you want it, right? But you will get it. And same thing with your friends, with your family, you will get that. So like, it breaks my heart seeing all these other public figures who are doing nothing, nothing to just help out the world. And just like, you know, somebody I'm going to break down in the future is Logan Paul. Logan Paul is not doing anything. Like he took like a week or two off and he made this like video about suicide prevention. But since then, he's been the same awful person that he's always been. It's just, you know, in his mind, he thinks he's better because he's not going around filming dead bodies anymore. And it's like, no, dude, no. And like other people to look at are like Tana Mojo, Foosie Tube, somebody I want to talk about too is Louis C. K. Like, I just can't express this enough. And that's why I wanted to make this video. Like, the other thing I'll say to kind of end this video is this world doesn't owe you a dang thing. Nobody owes me forgiveness. Okay. Nobody on earth. Nobody owes you forgiveness. Everybody is hurt in different ways. I legitimately hurt people. I am so fortunate. I am so fortunate. And I will never ever forget that I'm so fortunate that people have forgiven me. Like I was taught a long time ago as I started to improve my life that there might be people who will never, ever, ever forgive you. And I was ready for that. All right. But thank God, people have forgiven me. I'm very fortunate. But I got a beat into my head that nobody owes me crap. Nobody owes me forgiveness. So how do you combat that? You just start being better on a day to day basis. The best thing that we can do when earning forgiveness is to limit the amount of wreckage that we that we create in the future. Okay. Like that's the best thing that we can do. And if you can do that, if you're somebody like me who is trying to repair your life, earn forgiveness and things like that, just on a daily basis, cause as little wreckage as you can. And most days 99% of the days I cause zero wreckage, I try every day and I've talked about this in a couple of videos I've done in the last few days. I try every day to do something good for the world, to put out something good in the world. That's one of the reasons I make these YouTube videos. Okay. And as long as I'm doing that, as long as the good I put in the world is a lot more than the bad I'm putting in the world, I'm on a good path. And people notice that people see that people. I hope people realize that I'm a good genuine person from what I put into the world. And I earn forgiveness. And the other thing about earning that forgiveness from people I knew is that the future people that I meet, they see that I'm a good person. So if I screw up, not even if when I screw up, they're more likely to forgive me because I've been a good person all this time. And they'll look at me in more of a human way and say, okay, humans make mistakes. But if I'm somebody who's constantly screwing up when that big thing happens, they're not going to be likely to forgive me. So I hope that makes sense. I hope this video helps you out. I hope you share this video for anybody out there who is apologizing all the time or doesn't know how to earn forgiveness, you know, but also at the end of the day, you got to check in with yourself and kind of see how you are at forgiving people, you know, but I want to hear from you down below in the comments like what, what lessons have you learned with earning forgiveness? All right, let's have a conversation down below. But that's all I got for you. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you're new here, I'm always making videos just to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being. Hit that subscribe button and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all beautiful. And if you would like, be sure to check out the rewired souls shop where we got a bunch of mental health positive apparel for you and even some coffee mugs. All right, thanks again for watching and I'll see you next time.