 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah tune it on and on I put it on down and watch till I get stomped to death What the fuck is this are we live man? Yeah live are we live like proper? It's been live for like a few seconds now Wait, are you serious? Yeah episode number eleven of the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast and we're here in Michael's basement and let me tell you what What things are getting out of control look at our little friend that we found if for those who can't see I've got a doll and It has Down syndrome you can buy Down syndrome dolls now. That's what it is man. Yeah, that's what it's called It's literally what are in the packaging so I'm allowed to say that we yeah, we had know you can do that Yeah, I would like yeah, it's isn't that strange all now you can have everyone We had a revelation the other day about a barbie in a wheelchair Do you remember the revelation? No system of a down we figured out it should be called syndrome of a down Yeah, that would be so funny. That would be so mega famous. Are you serious? We should be their marketing team with some shit Seriously, baby Kenyum a nervous start Oh, what do you guys think about beatboxing energy? Julian would say um, yeah, whatever beatboxing what about beatbox Matt? No, I can't You have to you brought it up. You have to be that's when you're like, that's when you're like This up for a reason he wants to show Here we go, baby What what happened on the weekend I had a wedding to go to weddings are fucking fun Oh, we got another one this way. Did any exciting happen? Oh, I'm not really do a performance for them No, no, no, I'm not not on that level yet It was like all the Mons family that like a family friend was getting married. So I wasn't like I didn't really know Did they do drugs at the wedding? No, of course not. It's like mostly 60 year olds. It was a normal wedding Okay, and then on Sunday, we went to fucking Jackson's for your birthday and fuck me We had we got high and had some fun there. Didn't we we gave him a bridge guys got high We gave him a brick from pepper in a place where we used to live together for his birthday on some cigarettes and some cigarettes Yeah, we all smoke ciggies together. We had a cigarette each outside. Why not? It's a 28 Even though we don't most of us don't smoke and have never smoked cigarettes are like Tom Green put it good ones You can smoke Cigarettes every now and then as long as you don't get hooked. It's sort of like a a fine wine Is that true man? You had a cigarette Yeah, I got a mess. I haven't smoked in years. Tom Green really say that he did on a live once and then it convinced me I was like I was not gonna smoke put your own opinion on it Don't use some greens use your opinion. What's Tom Green's a legend? No, I'm not saying he's not I'm just saying like what's your opinion? That's right. Well, I reckon yeah, cuz it's like for me if I get proper hammered I want a fucking cigarette cuz I used to smoke. I have but it doesn't mean the next day. I'm gonna go fuck I want to get back in the ciggies again. It's like a now and then thing, but I must say You do feel it in your throat. It's like coughing up this little that's how the golly bottle Well, that's when I was coming off cigarettes. I still had all that lard in my throat Lard yeah or gluten one of the two tar Lard gluten It's very fucked, but yeah, that's why the golly bottle if you want to make a golly bottle Just start sick smoking so I start smoking fuck off fuck off. All right, so We've moved on from golly bottles. We're doing cum bottles now. How's that going? I ain't telling you anything Oh, man, are you just gonna rock up one day with a fucking six liter thing of blood and cum to get a cum I don't know. I saw I was watching the Q&A and you were like he probably won't do it and I'm gonna leave you in the suspense Well, I don't think you will do it. I think fuck think about it You don't want to have a bat and then have to aim for a bottle every time. He's got a funnel He's got a funnel. He's bought a funnel. Yeah, he's bought a funnel. I haven't told you anything He's a hundred percent. Honestly, we'll give you $500 every 600 mils. I remember Is it wow? I thought it was a thousand 500 sounds good. Yeah, that's a bargain. That's gonna take Oh man, if you that's a bargain for us If you did do that, dude, I'd be so happy Please that's also a prize come Anyway, also we need to last week when julian was on one you forgot about jackson's party you got with oh, yeah, we we've met with the rack of boys and Were they we showed them the pool cue breaking stunt like how to do it like safely And uh, michael got a fucking fucked with a pool cue and then fucking michael from rack. I got fucked Pilp cue. They are good at uno. Yeah, they play a lot of uno. I don't know if it's skill based No, it is to a degree. That's how I beat jackson It's all about timing when you use your plus twos your wilds As well as knowing which numbers to put down because you might have that number down there I don't know about this man. There is some form of skill. You can be a shit. Shit Fuck uh, uh uno and you just should be in the casinos dickheads. Oh, man. I realize the rules every place different rules Because it's a fucking kids game. Excuse me Have you noticed the rules are always different between who you play with? Oh, yeah, but like no, they knew how the rules worked If you try and cheat they make you pick up a yeah, they were right about a lot of things But I think the double ups of things is incorrect as well. Anyway, you know, fucking start playing Um, anyway, last week we said on when we had julien on that we uh, did julien bashed a street dog in Thailand Um, we saw some comments people have been like, I can't believe that happened. It didn't happen It was a joke. Okay. Julien didn't actually bash a street dog We are very against animal cruelty. In fact, I would rather watch a human being burned to death than watch a dog get hurt Have you seen the border? I think so. Yeah, and he just sits there. Yeah full meditated. It's so so fucked up But so beautiful in a way too. It's like a numb. Yeah, I think so. Isn't that crazy? I've met him. Like people think that fucking him ripping his turn L also is like god But them can't sit there burned to death not make a peep sort of like it's same similar similar though Same shit very similar briefs Our girlfriends are coming any moment Michael and I they're gonna be here to watch what we do They've never been here to watch it for one and it's and it's fucking terrifying If they that's like even if marty did have a squirty ready It probably wouldn't happen. Well, I would I'd do it But like I've warned them because they monoliths and sword on spotify, but it's not the same when you see Yeah, seeing and this is very different. Yeah, especially your face when you pull the fucking And just of how vulgar I am in our gross and sweaty I get now. I'm always You're feeling me up a lot fucking fuck to you and shit Oh This is the fan Okay, let's answer this is a fan. This is a fan that has got my number today and has been messaging me and shit. So let's see Hello Hello, hello Who's this? Sorry Who's this? Sorry Who's this? So you called me darling. So why don't you tell me who you are? It's just Marty What are you talking about Marty? Yeah Hey, listen here mate. How the fuck did you get my number? From you, what do you mean? You gave it to me I would know you sound like a child. I haven't been giving my number to children. That was that one time You sure? Sounds like a girl. I'm gonna have to block you now unfortunately, but um, please don't share my number around I would appreciate that Timothy Say you Timothy You're gonna have to talk a bit more Who are you? Sing us a song? You're on the podcast. You're on the podcast right now Can you hear us Timothy? Timothy Timothy threaten his life Damn you Timothy Threaten to kill him I really heard you in the background Threaten to kill him. Now I'm gonna block that number. It's weird. So call it if we don't fucking know you please Oh, man, I look at I'd call Brad Pitt if I had his number and we are that we are like the Buddha and Brad Pitt same level All right, you've convinced me call us whenever you want Dude that the world will become an interesting place. Mm. They have Down syndrome baby dolls now. Yeah, what? Yeah, like that's so inclusive Isn't it Matthew and they had a Barbie in a wheelchair I saw. Oh, yeah fucking. Oh, yeah All right, our girlfriends are here right now. They've just arrived. There's one and there's two Now they're looking confused. They're waving at us now They've closed the door and they're holding something up holding jewelry up Mon's commenting on the smell now they're coming a little closer and they're about to sit down They're the most uncomfortable and they're dancing They're dancing and Now they're sitting down. All right. Welcome everybody. What's the smell like mon? What's the smell like? She's gagging There was a funny smell when I came in was there really I seriously did not even know to say yeah, the smells has become We're just used to it No, they're just that's all we've got they're just shit chairs here You can pull the the shop over the legs off the table if you want Oh You can pull the couch over. Where's the footrest gone? Was there a foot rest here? Yeah, this oh, okay. I see Um, what's the smell like? Wet dog with a bit of shit man. Oh sounds like something that you don't step in the shit out the front check your feet No, no, no, that's I just keep no because it was yeah. Yeah. No, no don't worry about that No, like the very front Yeah, leave leave the shits. Okay. Michael's very protective of the shit. Yeah, I bet you you stepped in the shit Yeah, I wouldn't sit on that amber. I wouldn't sit on anything here Yeah, the house isn't in the bed shake, okay But it's it's home. No, there's a fucking blanket in the kitchen. I'm sitting on a fucking toilet seat Oh Fuck anyway. All right, let's keep going. All right. Um, also the german segment. Um We thought right we're going to switch back to nicky's german segment. All right, because that was better in our opinion And we're going to do it once every three weeks All right, once every three weeks starting next week So if you don't like the german segment you only have to listen to it once every three weeks We have to keep some german essence in the podcast people think it's racist when you pay out german. I am german So it's not racist and we need no part of it. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely part of it. It's german Just so you love all australian shit in all of our videos and podcasts I want us just a smidgen of it. Just a smidgen of it in there matt Fuck off Yeah, you're keeping it once every three weeks. It's german. It's not australian dog. Yeah, it's okay. I don't mind if you I'm not I'm all for it, but german is so patriotic. He's off-camera. Germany's like a second thing. Yes. Yes So fucking gross, but yeah, german. You can't be racist to it Anyway, so the german segment will be back next week. It's gross. Um, what else is there fucking blah blah blah If you're for listening to us on Spotify, which there's like Thousands and thousands of people listening Could you please um go on Spotify and now when you search marty and michael, right? Let me just give you a little secret here. Do you search marty and michael? There's so many people who haven't done this. I think they have probably most they actually have to be You go to the top and then you can go get a little five star You click on that and then you give it a little kina rate the show for give us five stuff Are we still five stars stuff or yeah? We're still five stars I think they actually have to have a spot a fight No, like, um, sorry, I think they may have to be no no Everyone's got spot. You're lying. Everyone go get a five star if you're listening on youtube Please like and comment like just fucking look we've I didn't even let you know But how about this for an idea, right? We up the comment money to two thousand dollars Up shut up and listen to me hear me out $2,000 and we pick any comment at random It can be any comment out of the 39 episodes Okay, we pick a number at random between one and 39 That's the episode we go to and then we find out how many comments in that episode and we pick a comment number at Random and then that comment wins two thousand dollars So any comment can win comment of the year and two thousand dollars How about this we do one thousand dollars for those people and then one thousand dollars for the actual cow Comment of the week if you make the board you also have a chance of getting a thousand dollars done Compromise and we win together Do you understand? You can get if you just comment That's potentially you can win a thousand and if you have a quality comment a cow You have one in thirty nine chance a one in thirty nine chance of winning a thousand dollars, man There's no other podcast that does that that's fucking life changing, man One thousand dollars, especially if you're in a third world country and there's so many of them More there's more poor than not matt So a thousand you sit down your fat cat office in your wholesome towers pouring concrete on the scum beneath you See laughing like that as they concrete peasants So that's very generous of us and we are good people fucking oath So get your comments in if you don't know what to comment Just comment like just something like a letter or a comma or like just matt's mum's name. What's her name? No No, you can comment. No, whatever you want. Holy shit. No Sush, anyway, let's get on with the fucking sponsors. All right Okay All right now. Let's let's let's do Nord first. All right We owe them that much and we're back with Nord and look hey, don't sigh Nord is good Yeah, it is good. They are yeah, they come back and accept the new. Yeah, they did and look they've been they've been friendlier We've we've been having some good chats me and the guy. Let me just find out what I have to fucking say here If you don't have Nord VPN, then fuck you can't get it now or fuck off No, we won't start with that. Help us out. Look, let's do this manscaped first Let's see. I don't feel like doing Nord right now because imagine now giving Nord the timestamp But we're a few seconds off. Yeah, and then they hear that. Yeah Yeah, let's let's just do you manscape them. We'll come back to Nord. All right manscaped If you want your manscape products, holy shit. Is that a shaver that cuts hair but not skin? Yes, it is So all you were near wanted you go manscape.com if you want 20% off just use our discount code fully actual 20 You get who doesn't want 20% off. Look at that. That's putting Soap on me. They got soap. They got look at that Michaels pubic hair shaved so cleanly off And yet his skin is completely laceration free. Please stop putting your pubic hair on me Okay, sorry, please stop putting your pubic hair on me. Sorry and stop putting your soap on me All these products and so much more. I don't even know what they have They have a nose trimmer that we use a lot use that heaps It's uncomfortable, but it works very well Matt uses an entire bottle of soap every time he baths himself in his mother's french kitchen There's like body spray. There's body spray There's ball wipes for when you want to blowjob out in public and you've been fucking running around doing tradey shit all day Come on manscape.com for the actual 20 cunt All right now we'll do Nord. Okay Nord VPN Do you have a new VPN? If you answered no then get Nord VPN because they get security for you They do security on your home Laptop like all your it shit Not your actual home What what what isn't what is a VPN Matt? virtual wrong A VPN is a thing that makes other things think that you're somewhere else Imagine like a lock is now on your laptop. They put a chain and lock on it Yeah, and no one can track you like all those governments trying to track you and harvest your organs and shit They won't be able to do that anymore. All right And it's so safe and you won't get viruses from the disgusting animal porn that you watch every morning You fucking yeah, you can like go to you can make it so you're in a legal country that can look at beast Yeah, you can watch Netflix in other countries Do you understand what I'm saying here if there's a Netflix in England right and they've got to show that you fucking love Using your VP and you can get that Netflix You can get 10 netflixers Yeah, you can get 10 vpns Dude all Nord and look you'd think that all of this plus Plus a huge discount and a free bonus gift would be very expensive wouldn't you matt? Yes Well, you are so wrong You are so wrong you dumb cunt It is only three 35 a month for a two-year plan. That's less than a cup of coffee Yeah, that's like nothing Nothing that's crazy because we drink like 10 coffees a day That's only half of one of them for 30 days The maths is crazy man. If you want a yearly one, it's $4.99 a month and that's only not much more So sign up. So sign up today. Use our code fully actual for a huge discount and a free bone ass gift Nord VPN The link is in the description if you're on youtube and if you're not Just type in nordvpn.com slash fully actual Okay, and that'll take you straight to where you need to go now get out there and get that vpn because it's super important It's never been more important in this day and age. It helps us too. It helps us too And now the most important by far the most important sponsor by far Our subscription website the university of markl where we post a fucking fuck you video Every single fucking week. It's like 30 to 40 minutes long. It's so fucked that we can't put it on social media right now I think it's the which kitchen utensil hurts the most. Yeah, we do heaps of science and let me tell you it's a surprise I would not have picked it. You thought you thought pot, didn't you? No, no, you're wrong. Whatever you're thinking you're wrong You will be surprised sign up for free 21 days. See if you like the videos if you don't like them You can live free of charge Oh Have you signed up yet? Of course he hasn't I added mon to the uh, there's a facebook group that you can join when you sign up Right a private facebook group where we engage a lot in I added mine in yesterday and the first video she sees Is that fucking lap dance I gave you for how to be sexy? You went hard out too man. That is like so fucked that that's the first thing that hits her in that group Marty's asshole was completely spread in the browns face You don't see that brown for a brown Basically, that was surprisingly the best lap dance of them all. I've done it before clearly. Yeah, he's very good So, yeah, if you want to see a strip for brown sign up. Yeah Anyway, that funds all our bullshit. You know, it's it's why Michael has clothes on his back right now He doesn't see and that's all because of the subscription website man Yeah, and we do this podcast for free Yeah, well nor vp Yeah, we do it for a bit of money now a lot of episodes were free though. Well, we're breaking even yeah We're like breaking even with the podcast now. Yeah, we're not paying to make it. Yeah now That's a good way to look at it. Thank you fine Let's move right along. Oh Yeah, is it it's time Wake And we're back Matt Brown is single and our girlfriends are here Look one for each person except for you You can have the dance on this day You don't want this On this day in 1999 Fat meatloaf would get pressure sores on his back and ass when he slept for days at a time He would get his mates to cut the sores off with scissors And he would then he would cook them up and feed them to the homeless The homeless would then die from poisoning rest in peace meatloaf Oh my god, he's actually dead. He died not that long ago Yeah, wow not that long ago man And they figured out that they were doing that that he was doing that really when he said I'll do anything for love But I wouldn't do that. Oh, what was that? That's probably it. Oh the thing that he was doing Fucking hell. Why would you call yourself meatloaf? Oh, no idea. You don't know Until until next week. All right, I guess yeah, we'll try and figure it out next week Um, all right, it's time for michael's fucking bible this cunts fucking insane, baby What is michael's fucking plot explain it to the bible is fucking it does lose its way a bit now later in the chapters Michael got lazy. Michael is yeah is rock. Can I have your bible? Yeah, because that's where it's written in All right, this is michael's bible written by michael many thousands of years ago for michael in previous life But and a few chapters lately people with the name jim are so stupid Like what the fuck you aren't a jim you're a person and I will never exercise in you can't And clay you can get fucked too unless of course you actually made of clay Cutting your upper thighs is a great way to get a sober release in hydrogen securities from your friends without finding out Well, it's like no, you know one really sees your upper thighs. I feel like the bible is taking a spiral dark also I'm gonna say it. I've been getting in to bulimia lately It is It is seriously why the bible's getting all twisted if you have mentally sick If you eat a shit meal and you feel sick after it and you don't want to pay the price for it Just fingers down the throat done. He did it today. He ate a fucking Meal and then he's thrown up in the car park before leaving much is can that cause issues? You do it just if you have a cheat meal once every two weeks, just do it once every two weeks Please don't tell people and start throwing up there. No, it's I'm just yeah No, I am saying that you can do that if you want to cheat and get away with eating badly Or something to consider. I think it's I think that'll do something to I'm all for it Sorry, sorry, sorry Anyway, that was um michael's fucking bible everyone I'm getting nervous. Yes. It's brown. I'm actually nervous right now Oh my god, man. I don't want to do it And don't Oh, fuck it makes me feel so dark inside. It's time for that little black book Oh my god Oh my god, man Oh, let's see what he's written today Here we go Have Number 11 I was rifling through the sanitary bins in a female public toilet searching for snacks Sometimes they were used needles in there with blood still in them I would swallow them whole and then slowly and firmly lick my thick dry lips I was interrupted when my phone got a text I checked it was from a girl I'd been seeing for two months now and things were going really great The text read tonight's the night man. I can't wait to finally be intimate with you I think I'm in love with you I replied I'm so glad I've found you I couldn't think of a more special person to share this with I know it's your first time and I want it to be magical I love you Sharon I stopped on the floor at the way over to her house and bought her a dozen of the freshest red roses I'd ever seen I arrived at hers and she had made a trail of candles which led to her bedroom I gently pushed her bedroom door open to reveal Sharon lying on her bed wearing lingerie I walked in and stopped You look so beautiful Sharon I said and then I walked over to her and sat on the edge of her bed I set the mood with some slow sensual music We held hands and I could sense she was nervous Don't worry Sharon. I want you to feel safe with me Sharon relaxed a bit and she smiled at me I picked off the rose petals one by one and dropped them on and around Sharon We maintained eye contact and the moment was so intensely beautiful that tears welled up in our eyes I leaned in and we shared a passionate kiss Sharon whispered I love you so much Matt I'm yours Have me okay. I flipped Sharon on her stomach and read my thumb Straight up her arse and flexed it back as far as it would go. I jiggled it around hard and erratically I extracted it and sucked it longingly I undid my zip and freaked my little brown He slid it from my pants and sat up like a cobra ready to strike I violently rolled Sharon over and immediately shoved my Slimy tongue into her mouth and swirled it around the inside of her mouth I retracted my tongue and spat on her tits then I bent down and screamed in her ears My gills stretched open and smelled the air my pupils dilated and I shaped my nappy Cream fizzed from my skin pores. Ah Matt Matt Matt Can we just take things a bit slower? I stopped confused, but you asked me to have you. Just trust me. We'll have a great time Sharon Her face softened and she smiled Okay, Matt I trust you Just please make sure you use pretend my dick spears into her plushie hole I always have a condom on my eyes go cross-eyed with pleasure and I start pound bagging at Sharon I lift her legs and power fuck forwards and mash her cunt stupid My tits flail around like a plate of jelly and a cyclone My jaw clenches so hard with pleasure then I feel some of my teeth snap in half Then I feel it my balls begin to pulse and I begin climaxing I feel a large wager wave of pent up mints gaining momentum in my body The condom did nothing as mints chunded from my cockmouth The spray was so I pressured that Sharon was pushed away mints powerfully gushed into Sharon And I could do nothing but groin with pleasure. I vomited blood clots straight onto her thrashed body Then I finished and flopped onto the bed exhausted I managed to open my eyes and I see Sharon covered from head to toe in a dark brown chunky mints An utter look of disbelief on her face. I'm breaking up with you Matt And why is your cum mints? Heartbroken I sit up That was so fucking weird you had gills Matt Sharon I'm not from this planet I can't be with an alien Matthew I understand I said completely heartbroken Cream tears started rolling down my face. I started walking out of the room and stop without facing or I say Thank you for showing me what love is Then I walk home backwards He didn't bound It was too much and he didn't bound I was down He had to walk Oh my wow that was fucking intense. Yeah. Who was that? Which girl was that? Sharon The first girl he ever loved The first and only that's why he's still fucking all bent out of shape from Sharon Are you brown? That's why you remain so single but fear not brown fear not for Michael and I will save you Bachelor brown brown brown Bachelor brown brown brown. He's always behind you. He's always waiting behind you. Oh, it's dark. Where is he? I don't know. He's probably behind you And this is a segment where Michael and I Find Matt Brown's future partner. She's from England this one and you love long distance We we go on social media and we find a girl who wants to be with Matt and we set up a phone called date And we're gonna pick the top three at the end of the season the three that Matt loves the most We're gonna bring them here all expenses. I don't want to do that to meet Matt Brown and we're gonna find his fucking wife Because he can't do it. He does not know how to do it Stop We're not doing the fly in Three. Well, no, you get to pick Matt. No, Matt. We have of all the details. It's happening. No, I don't want to do that So far the winning the winning ones are a lexie Jasmine and I'm gonna say well. I'm glad he bought up a lexie. This is a perfect segue. Oh, wait. Oh my god You know that girl from last week the girl from last week. She was super nice and I was kind of falling in love It's really cool. It was pretty cool. If you recall I did say are you going to message Matt Brown after this and she She said yes She um, she didn't an instagram account out of me with her name and then but she had nothing on there like it was Maybe she didn't have instagram yet. So she lied thought and then um, and then I think like the next day or two later It was gone Wow, so she ghosted matt brown. Yeah. All right. So she's not in the top three. I got ghosted No, so jasmine if you are listening to this Do you have any idea what you're doing to him? I came here today and he was crying lexie He was curled up in a ball in the fucking kitchen cream tears Um, you gotta if you talk to him you gotta I reckon knowing now on if you agree to do the bachelor brown You have to be willing to be home. No Shut up That's that's the terms and conditions You have to be willing to have sex with matt if you want to call it. You can't say that. That's what that's what I reckon marriage it's more romantic Anyway, maybe marriage Anyway, we're gonna call uh carlin now and matt. I haven't showed you photos on instagram, but Mate this is right up your rally. She's the one. How do you know? She's a girl matt. You fucking get your game face on you fucking get ready. This is it Think it's something to say Yeah, hey stop yelling at me Hello, can't hear michael. We can't hear it color. How are you color? I'm good Carla this is look this is Marty and I have michael sitting next to me and matt brown Has just changed his nappy and he's ready to flirt like he's never flirted before to see if you are the one to brown his life I'm excited Um, all right matt. Why don't you start? Why don't you start by telling carla a little bit something about yourself? Like all of your fun hobbies that you like to do go. She sounds terrible tell her about movie world You live near the theme park. Tell her you love theme parks You're wearing a bad mansion. Here we go. Just frozen matt brown Say something Hey, sorry. I'm so sorry about this Look matt's just a little bit nervous. He's shaking and his face is really red I've just it's a bit like Sickening to look at but can you maybe just ease him into it and just tell him Something about yourself. Maybe five things that matt should know about you Listen Five things No, you about yourself that you think matt should know Okay You've made her nervous I'm very nervous It's a lot of pressure. No. Hey, it's okay. No, it's a lot of pressure This is the intention. It loves her accent. Everyone's having a great time and matt brown's here with you. Um, what part of uk are you from? That really matters Okay, cool No, that's not they're from new castle God Tell you what interested me about matt Yes I watched that video where he was whipping you though And I just thought this is the guy for me. Oh the whipping video. Yeah Well, that's funny say that because that video was matt's idea He needed to know that for some reason and he wouldn't tell us why but he wanted to know which whip whips the most And she loved that video man. She likes to be weird. She likes me anytime Matt Brad look at his fucking eyes light up You can see his brain pulsing with blood erection Matt, come on. I don't know what's tell her about fucking dream world or the theme park. Tell her you really like her I really like you That's taken the phone. What do you do for work? What do you do? Oh He's hiding his eyes from the camera Can you guys be quiet? I'm having a date We're helping matt ask us something ask her how tall she is How tall are you? Oh my god, I can't believe She just made top three Matt loves talking about sex and how old are you? I'm 26 She said sex 20 sex matt that's your favorite I was thinking about it You were talking about like watching porn and you didn't know if it's okay like relationship So I was thinking we could make our own and then when we're not together you can just watch that if it won't be as bad She is wow. Okay. She's I can see from that is a very good idea that she's winning He's swelling up with blood. He's one huge tube of erectile tissue now. Oh like a big dick um Wait, wait, wait, wait. So What are your hobbies? What are you doing uk when you're not doing the job that you can't tell me about? Um, I like to go out on the fun She likes going out mate you could drive her you love driving you love driving. It's perfect Yeah, no, I like to go out a lot with my friends Well that is lovely that's what I would do if you were on the phone Um, now Carla, would you could do you have matt on instagram? Ask if she'd move yeah, would you move to australia? She already has me on instagram? No, she doesn't I'd be screaming as loud as I could if that was the case. Okay. Is that the case color? Would you would you consider coming to australia to live with matt brown next week? If we if we pay for your plane tricks trip, would you live with matt brown for three months? I reckon you're together All right, that's fucking good to know because we might do that We might honestly might do that if you're colors in the top three All right. Carla you're in the top three You've managed to bam boozle matt with your sex talk and he's so flushed. I've never seen anything like it It looks like a beating heart. He looks like a beating heart. Just one heart Anyway, can you please follow a few weeks then can you please follow matt brown on instagram and start talking to him? Um, and you already follow him. Oh, okay No Holy fuck. Okay, so have you spoken to him yet? Yeah Oh, you never said that. This is your third date. Isn't it matt brown? Why are you still so insane? Nothingy Holy shit, you guys are together. Well, anyway, I'm glad that you now both know that you really like each other So you can continue this. All right off off camera. You guys both start just We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. We'll leave it at that. Thank you so much for coming on call You've been so great and lovely and matt is just so fucked Okay, thanks. See you. See you. Carla. See you later. Carla. Thank you so much. Seriously. You've been a big help Matt that's fucking good news. So you're already connected. That means it's happened. I don't yeah, it's I I think I might know I think I might know who it is. Oh, have you what what have you done with her? Nothing. It'll just be the fans. Have you been sending our fans nudes already? No If there's any fans out there with matt brown nudes, send them in because I would love to have a look Well, um, Carla no hang on stop We're not flying someone in from England. Sorry. Carla's only one you've got options three Matt, it's three months. You can't really get to know someone before three months I'm not We're not doing it. Matt. Look, we'll see we'll talk about it. Just just don't say no Carla sounded lovely and a lot of fun. I'm scared of what the the job is. They can stay in separate rooms at yours No, not your room No Yeah, that's fair. You've got two rooms. Look like yeah, and then they can like, you know clean up and shit No Anyway, that's the bachelor brown segment where we will find matt brown love Again, we are good dudes All right, let's get into the fucking questions, but not before a big old fucking He's just used to it. All right, and we're back. Michael sexually assaulted someone and we're here with questions I remember the questions thing. All right, the question of the week is different It's just where we pick a fucking awesome question And that we us three personally like and matt what he does he goes home and he prints it out on a bit of paper Then he cuts it out with little scissors and then he gets his craft glue and he glues it onto that fucking board there matt Can you shuttle everyone? So if you want to be immortalized forever on this awesome thing this fucking thing Oh, are we a few comments behind? Yeah We are all right. We're a few comments behind We don't put much effort into it But you can you will be on that and a chance to win a thousand dollars at the end of the season Okay, now if you just do a normal comment, you can also win a thousand dollars. Your chances are just less So what i'm trying to say is just fucking comment heaps, man It helps us us It helps us man All right, brown Spit it out. What are you going? Um, we're going cow first. Yeah Yeah cow baby. You didn't tell me what the cow was so you've got it. Oh, it's it's um, no, no you sent it to me Here we fucking go here we fucking go count me. Are we fucking a little more than we got any you just read it out What the actual fuck is julian? Yeah, who sent it? Kyla workman So that is the comment of the week and mate you are in the running Right, two and a thousand dollars at the end of the fucking season. So make sure you fucking watch Anyone who comments anything if you comment one comment, you've only watched one episode in season one I mean in the beginning of this season Watch the finale because you might be winning a thousand dollars man. Do you understand the appeal there? Does that make sense? It's heaps of money. So not only do do we get comments? We get lots of people watching the finale because they want to see if they won the fucking money Um, should we good cross promotion? It's crazy Michael thinks had the idea of getting like one of those little turn things to a handle a handle thing for bingo for bingo Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there you have it. So there you have it matt next question All right. Um top question went to girex depending where he is from um Question for the podcast if connor submitted all the cut podcast footage to the police How many years in jail do you boys think you'd be in for? Oh, we probably arrested No Oh, maybe because if we talk about all the illegal shit, I just think we'd be cancelled. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we'd be Oh, man, everyone gets to cancel these days. There would definitely be something you're sitting there at home thinking Nah, there's nothing you guys could say that would offend me There is and that's a elon fucking musk well done a fucking good shit. He's just bought twitter Which camera do I freedom of speech remains? Oh one for now Yeah, and he's fucking no more censorship on twitter. That's fucking great news. It's hope he buys facebook Can we upload the podcast to twitter? Yeah sorry All right, um, what was the question? So, yeah Yes, yes short in yes, what was the question something to do with like all the uploaded Ah, yeah, no, yeah, we would be arrested. We get cancelled and attacked in the streets Ripped apart like savage dogs. Yeah drawn and quartered Think sorry, sorry, some of you probably find that fucking awesome though. Let me tell you right now Oh Yeah, dude All right next question is from jackie Um a question for the podcast uh an american here. Um Is mince actually slang for jizz or did you guys come on with yourselves genuinely curious? I think that's just matt describing the appearance of his ejaculate and it looks like ground mince like beef mince Yeah, yeah, exactly the mince that you would buy from coals and woollies That 500 gram mince. I think lean lean mince too like the darker shit So it comes out as cooked mince He's ejaculate Like ah, like it's like cooked mince shooting out of his cock. That is what It's like a light brown. Mmm mince brown. It's the name mince brown Next question is from red machine kiran Uh question for the podcast has bozzly ever stepped in when marty has been in danger and saved his life or defended him Um, no not really. Hey, he's a bit of a fucking useless pussy dog He comes to like objects and and um things. I would definitely have to protect him I don't know if it's if a stranger came in the house. He'd probably fucking go on though. All right. It's a good He's a good dog dog. He busted everyone especially if I Was freaking out he would definitely and then I have that command and I just point at the man I guess like the rats be kind of fun Yeah, yeah, I reckon he he makes a lot of noise Yeah, and he's very big and strong and oh so handsome. Mmm. He's a good cuddler He's a fucking good carne. He's a good man. He's a fucking good cunt He's a top bloat So rejecting me next Next question is from peter hunt. Um, why is michael's house in a war zone? There's so much stuff in his front yard There's some there's shit in the house. It's not that bad. It's just like Why not utilize your front yard? Everyone has it always just bare. Yeah It does look like it's a waste of space because like you always see yeah, exactly You don't put things there. Just leave it there for like you can have a you can have a whole laundry area To yourself. You don't need to put your washing machines and shit in there. The really have them out in the front lawn Yeah, they get upset because like they can't see the floors. Oh god. So annoying, but just move it yourself Yeah, if you don't want to look at that Move it over a bit. The neighbor has started fixing up the yard like they took the washing machine He just figured oh, I didn't think he wanted him because they're destroyed. So I took him for you I wonder if they're all gone. I wonder if I wonder if he actually just hates the look of it So he just said that and just cleaned it up for us. Maybe maybe like he just helped us out. He's a nice dude Yeah, he does. Yeah, I hate your house if I live next door. I reckon it's it's better than nothing And it's exciting. You don't really know what's gonna happen here. You know, yeah, exactly You don't know what's going on after time comes. Yeah, like we've been sent like pictures of us sniffing each other's arses From a video What are you talking about? Remember when we did the pretend to be dogs and then the neighbor sent us photos of us like Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, we were doing a tiktok. We were smelling each other's arseholes And the neighbor saw and sent a photo of us doing it. It's fucking hilarious, Matt Brown So it's sort of fun. Sorry. Sorry. Next question is from Thomas Hooper Michael has hair and electricity as the no-goes when it comes to pranks. Does Marty have any no-goes? Yeah, don't don't don't touch Bozzy and um That's it. He shaved Bozzy once so he broke that rule Oh, yeah, he did but he didn't hurt him. But yeah, I don't I don't really have any. I don't know never Flick layla clula layla clula. What would I? What would I hate? What would I hate? Oh, man? I think If you if you oh, yeah, that's my thing if you permanently permanently disfigure me That's where I draw the line I accidentally like when we were boxing a few months ago his nails like fucking 30 centimeters long I scratched his cheek and now he's different Wolverine slashed at me when we were boxing his cheek has changed and now there's a little bubble on my cheek forever That was like two years ago And I called it at the time I was like, man, I bet that stays there forever Remember I said that where is it? Yeah And what was the other thing? Oh, yeah this stye I've had a fucking stye for four months now. That was nobody's no go. That wasn't no one's fault Still there. Yeah. Wow. They stuck around for you, but I didn't do all the spell. I did probably did do that Yeah, is she fucking the spells do work? He's gotten very good at spells. Yeah, he's been practicing dark black magic All right. Donut films is returned Back This is his piss right here. I'm glad you port that out, Michael. Oh, it's gotten much darker I'm glad you really bought it out. There's sediment at the bottom. There's he has a question Sediment Imagine if that piss went on you then And there's pubic hair all over the table too of fans pubes. We basically got two fans here with us So if you want to send us something in the po box, we'll keep parts of you here alive With us so you're here in physical form And to say we could build we could build something together. We could build a human being Oh Donut films asked when will Michael drink my yellow liquid? Oh, fuck dude. That is like it's too it's too old And I don't know you it's off piss. Yeah It'd be dangerous now. So yeah, I don't think that we can fucking drink that you'd get sick Send some freshies though. Don't see what happens Oh, he will that's a problem All right next question is from Steven Hunt. Uh, would you guys ever consider collaborating with fissure? The dj guy dj. Yeah, I guess so. What would we do together though? Or maybe a song show Michael. I fucking who's fissure. That's the dj. No, we're not collaborating with him That guy. No. Yeah. Yeah. Remember. I'm already picking it. Remember that song. I'm losing it. We're not That we're that new year's eve charme is that time that song just kept playing and is that so fucked? Yeah. Yeah, we're not Sorry, I guess not. Hey fun fact. He was a year above me in high school. Anyway at your high school Fuck off. That's what was he like? We might what was he like? I didn't know What was he was he popular with the with the boys and girls? Yeah, he's like exactly the same as he was Yeah, so he's fucking loose unit at high school. We will collaborate with fissure. Fuck. Yeah He's a good dude. We will we will collaborate with fissure. Yeah, because of that. He would have no clue who I am, but I've already just messaged him and said, oh, we have a mutual friend Yeah, he's like, what the fuck? Um, Aaron knows him. Brown brown brown brown. Darius of the wild ones. Oh, he's behind you Next question. Aaron from your high school. Yeah, Aaron went to a different hospital, but he knows him. Oh, wow Next question from you and who else is from your high school? Stop cutting me off Why don't we have any of your friends from your high school because none of them Think this is normal. I reckon we should have we should have at least some concrete on Something a bag of concrete. Can we have something from the browns childhood on? Yes Like a family member or a picture a picture when when you were real young and fucked and or some sort of toy Or a pet like a school pet Why would I have a school pet? I don't know if you can if you can think of something that I'd still have I'll bring it on No, surely you have something that you've owned for like 30 years Back when you were 15 30 years ago. I don't know school yearbook Yeah, okay Actually, yeah, yeah bring that that'll do bring a fucking school yearbook Really? Yeah, I want to see what you looked like at high school I want to see how much shame was in your eyes Actually, do you know there was a matt brown in year 12 when I was in year 9? It was in my sister's grade And when they did the yearbook photos with all the year 12ers they will get their photos put in They fucked up and put my photo in his place So I'm next to my sister Oh, wow When I was probably there's probably at least one matt brown at every probably at every high school I think the goal for me is to be the best matt brown ever Did you have to say anything in like a lot like half half people yeah half browns Hey, did you have to say anything next to your photo like you're like cool your quote? I couldn't afford that Okay Next question is from black lila flu. It's from hosea It's from hosea depending where you're from he actually said that in his question Will you guys ever let matt brown read his own black book on the podcast? No, it's too emotional for him. He can't he can't look at the words and stay Professional in weep fall apart and and you don't want to pull at that thread if he starts to unravel mentally Everyone is in danger Everyone in this neighborhood is in danger like There aren't enough locks on your doors to keep this beast out when he's got a lust filled heart at midnight Anything living or dead? Oh Fuck I wouldn't even want to be a corpse near him when he's like that All right next question is from cody west bend um How will matt brown keep calm at the end of bachelor brown with three of his hunts right in front of him easy Because it's not gonna happen. You got to see you got to you got to become mentally stronger Okay, i'm not going to be able to fucking try and get better every week a little bit better every week Because you are just sitting like a stung mullet during the bachelor brown and the girls are disgusted I don't think I can do it. You need to pull on your chin. Hey, hey, hey, hey like that in real life Three of them were sitting there. I'll be fucking Freaking out. You need to slick your hair back and be cool and sexy man. Hey. Hey. I'm mad brown Go back to that mad brown. That's what you used to be like at the night clubs I had hair hey He'd slick it back with like a liter of gel and then gel had run down his back as he slipped his hair back You want a drink you want a drink? Holy shit sprinkling Hypno Sorry, is it rehypno? Roofies. We'll call it roofies ruffling. Anyway, that's probably not allowed is it? Yeah, we shouldn't joke about it. Oh, we did did we did and we did suck it up He did He roofied yeah, okay. He roofied okay. I spoke about it. Okay. You're asking about it. I thought you said we did Oh I have spiked you before. Oh my god three Not just a one dose three that can kill people Yeah, and you'll kill you dude. You were fucking half MDMA at that stage. Okay. That's I was just reuniting you with your cousins You were lucky fucking lucky. Um next question is from uh Philip or philly. Yeah. Yeah, it's our philip. It's actually philip. So um, this is a perfect question for what we're talking about for Will michael ever clean his house? Yeah, why clean it if it just gets dirty again Yeah, he's saving time by leaving it like this, but also like He goes through phases. Sometimes he'll just be like, oh, I clean and then you'll clean it once And then it'll just progressively fall back into the Depths of hell. Yeah. Well, that's the thing You really only have to clean a house like Three times four times a year. I reckon. Hmm. Just right before inspections. Yeah, exactly All right, two questions left. Um next one's from hunter height. Um Matt, what is your dream chair? A chair a proper chair like a chair like this a chair like an office chair Like um, like the old one I used to sit on out of all three. What have been the best so far? Yeah, none the blue that you had to choose you had to choose one to sleep on for the rest of your life Actually, I don't know parts of me feel like the blue one was probably the best That likes the tiny tiny blue chair only another nine episodes you get another one Every five never ten every ten man. I'm counting them down All right. Next question is from dean more should shit on every new chair Yeah Or at least like do something we can piss vom or shit. No, we gotta break it into three things that I just don't want But we're about bleed. You're bleeding. Bleeding's all right. That's what he has it is. Yeah, I'm actually good with the blood James's blood healthy all right final question Question for the podcast When you were both young did you always dream of growing up pooping on grown men? Yeah, I never thought that Imagine showing one of our videos to 15 year old selves Like the fucking laxative olympics 15. I'd probably be like well done. If I was like nine, I'd be a bit shocked Or if a nine-year-old you saw the instagram story today, have you Vomiting in that guy if I could film it himself with you Oh, the fan is really shocking. Yeah. No, like I reckon under 10. I'd be shocked 15. I'd be proud Some people can't handle seeing yeah, I don't know because we look so we look so fucking just like we're not doing well It will like if you look at the house That's what I mean. So that's why I reckon maybe even 15 year old me I wonder if we be like, well, I think I'm a junkie now and I'm fucking somehow I'll fucking turn gay with that fucking method come You think that we got together Somehow and got real kinky. It was shit on each other And then I just wouldn't get to know you I just cut that off at high school if we'd stop hanging out It wouldn't be like all right fuck I'd probably change schools. Yeah I might I might I might hang myself Yeah, I'd end it there. So I wouldn't even have to get to life It was just yeah, all right. That's it. It would be it could bring me to suicide but Also, it also you can't these days most likely would make me stop hanging out with marty if there was a flash of the shit Like website content. I've got fuck something happened. Something's wrong there. And then yeah, here we are Now we're living the fucking dream count In this fucking house and who would have thought that our our partners would be okay with us shitting on each other for entertainment Oh What did she say Oh, yeah, well it's only yeah, just a bit It's only once a month. It's just a bit of shit. There's a bit of shit down there once a month. Yeah, it's a once a month treat It's like a full moon we've done the shit more we do we see it towards the gross videos because it gives our fucking bodies a bit of a break Sick of being covered in sores and bruises have not gone Yeah, look at that. We just look like we've got some form of hate. I always look so fucked about it There's multiple so disgusting also just gives us the chance to rest our bodies for another week, mate Surely there's another way. Yeah. Well, I think we might start doing more vloggy type stuff going on adventures and shit again What do you if there's any website members listening? What do you think about that because I don't want to be fucking pissing you cunts off You put fucking clothes on my mouth So comment if you're down for us to go on some adventures Yeah, if or if you not you say not fuck you. I want pain videos every week. You can't Yeah, like say it like that that'll I reckon or maybe a bit nicer if you can Oh, I will leave it to you sweet sweet fan or what about we just we still keep that fucked up Skat porn pain And we do like a vlog every now and then Yeah, yeah, just if I'm not straight away. Yeah, I'm talking about maybe a vlog like every three weeks or something We really want to go to move the world, man. Yeah That would be insane I like the click so they do in mexico. Do you remember? It how do you say hi to your mom? Do you hug her? Hola como estas mami? Do you kiss her on the cheek? Do you hug her? What do you shake her hand? The last time I saw her I gave her a hug and a kiss but on the lips No on the tip But usually but usually it's uh because it was a dark day, but usually it's um, it's just a hug Imagine kissing your mom if your mom wanted to kiss you on the lips every time that happened till I was like 13 Oh my god. No, I reckon like six seven. Fuck off. I fucked up once I I fucked up once I went to give my dad a hug and and he and a kiss on the cheek a little kid I said like he turned the wrong way. We had forms straight into each other. You kiss your dad What do you say you molested your dad Do you kiss your dad or hug your dad still a hug? I hug him. I don't kiss him though Wow, like full hug or just one arm over depends What would you what would he do if you gave him just a kiss on the neck next time you hugged him? Like this long What about the lips and I freak out all right Can you can we do it and film it? If you just kiss and then leave it slightly we'll give you money We'll like this if you if you get up to like tongue out like if you tongue his face will give you like 500 I there's no way he would do that. No, but you do it to him. He doesn't get a stone. He won't do it Yeah, but you try you have to attempt and you get the money he'd be like he literally backhand me What are you doing? Yeah, but like He got stabbed in the face. He's not going to take a kiss from me. Yeah, okay You force it on him. Yeah, just grab the back of his head and fucking pull him in and kiss him as hard as you can And we'll give you money. He's too strong. Would you do it for money? I would You have to try If you try you get the money so as but and you can't half-ass try you have to lean in quickly And like it you have to touch his lips with your tongue and then when he's pushing you away you have to say please Yeah, and just selfie camera go up to him and do it quickly. That's not a bad idea. Please. I'll scream it at him $500 Yeah, let's talk about it. Oh, fuck. I would love to watch that. I would love to watch that too, man I'm like it's someone to film. Oh, man. I would love to watch that over and over again Anyway, we'll talk about it later. Talk about it later. All right Now we have the po box segment where we unbox everything that you guys sent to us live on the podcast We do not know what is in these boxes and our fans are the most fucked creatures that live on this earth And they send us shit. Shit. There's pubes on the table. There's piss on the table. It's just getting fucked. Oh, no I have a box small box in front of me. You can have that one Actually, I think this one could be the worst one. It feels like that fucking dude Oh, it feels like you're a hater No, not my hater because the handwriting is good. The hater has shit handwriting By the way, guys, by the way, if you want to send us something on the podcast It's two five six taken four zero one eight Queensland, Australia We opened everything live. Michael is ripping apart a box right here I have a sign that says fuck off and it has a picture of us on it And it's got a little letter and love from Trent Trent. Thank you so much, man We're gonna leave this here on the set. Trent actually said That he started a Oh, yeah a business business. Sorry, Trent. I forgot about that. Yeah, sorry So sorry and epoxy. He started doing epoxy. That's what that is, right? Poxy by Trent. Yeah So it's like a let's like a um, it looks like a fucking number plate and it's the plastic and it has a Writing and shit on it. It looks cool. All right. We'll put that We'll put that on the set somewhere. I'll put that up in the um, yeah I'll find a place for it Trent. Michael's still fighting with his box. He looks flustered Michael just be safe. I don't like the look. Oh, man. Yeah, we're scared to open box because sometimes people send Imagine if this one's anthrax, this could be all be dead instantly You'll be with the people you love and I'll be with no bad death apparently It's so so bad really. Yep. Like it's excruciating someone has a long long form of death anthrax Oh, this could be oh fuck. What is that shit, man? Oh, shit. Yeah. Oh, no It's it's not good so far. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. He's so facing it towards me. Okay. What? Oh, man, this is scary as fuck. Maybe I just sort of wait. Hang on. Well, you might break it Do we have any time? Give it here. I'll do it. I mean it though. Oh Brown's got the town. He's got strong firm fingers Have a look have a dig around in there brown brown Oh There's some sort of padding in there that we need to get out but the padding looks weird Just like a fragile pretty like it could be gold. Yeah, it could be something really lovely. Oh, I don't know about this We'll come on man. Oh, I don't know about this. Oh, I feel itchy. What is it, man? Something's wrong I feel bad like something's wrong on my skin. There's a note that says undress me. Can't oh, no I don't want to touch it. It's heavy. I don't want to touch it open and matt It's going to be a living thing. Oh, no undress me. Look at that man. It could be a cock And I want us to roll the force come back. I'll do it There's a note at the bottom. Hang on. There's another one here. You do that. I'll get the note Eat it Michael. Take a bite out of it. There's a note at the bottom It's the only way to see what it is. I got a note boys. I got a note. Okay To the boys dear fully actual podcast in this jar is a jar. It's a jar. It's a glass jar Is most of my neck beard my entire bush ball hair Some taint hair and asshole hair. I also added a pumpkin seed He added my seed Some morning piss some toenails most of the hair was pulled by hand rest was scissors I cut my leg balls and dick a little bit but i'm okay. I love you josh That's fucking that's top notch If you're gonna send yourself in send it in a jar That is that we have josh now on the podcast He's a co-host now. Oh, there is jiz in there. He said he put his own jiz The jiz jiz on his loaves dude jiz and piss he said I must say I like it here. Yeah, chuck it in there. Put it right next to the piss. Oh, man. That's Well, good shit. There you go. You'd never know what we're gonna get on the p.o. Box. I did see a bag in here Oh, shit. We got another one. We got a ladder now a large envelope. Thank you josh opened it What does it sound the back there the man the myth the legend From the man the myth the legend the secret society I told you you've always been knocking on the secret societies now. They're here. Yeah, there's freemasons your fault His temples his is your fault. They finally found us his temples around Oh What is it a good bag? What is it? What is it? It's a little bit of weed. Oh, that's good shit She says we get low every time this is where running low someone always gives us weed The universe knows. All right. Enjoy. You can read this one Enjoy this on bong break your legend. PS matt's little black book is the best segment cunts fucked make them Careful not to rip the bag when you take the letter off. Thank you so much. Who is this? Who is this man the myth the legend whoever sent that? Thank you fucking very much That's very good. That's kind. We get a bit of shit and a bit of good. Yeah And together it's okay It's okay So we win Oh, that was exciting All right time for the final fucking segment of the house podcast I still haven't decided which character I should be for this I'm going to call a hotel and pretend that I'm locked left locked in their elevator Trapped in their elevator and I can't get out Matt concerned me before he said oh, hopefully they're gonna call a fire department Yeah, that's the one we said what kind of hotel okay, we say say that no If they don't do that, that's how you get out of an elevator. No, that's like old olden days There's ways now. They just press a button the whole thing opens up. All right. Well, um, that doesn't happen I reckon like I'm why I'm worried, right? This is what I'm worried about I call the hotel and they have a they can see Their cameras showing the elevators depends what hotel if you call an old one, they won't No, this is fine. You're allowed to say you're stuck in an elevator It's not illegal to say that you tell them that you're stuck in there. That is so true, Michael I just didn't want to if they did call them. I just wouldn't want to okay if they say that's their own fault Yeah, if they're doing that, that's their own fucking fault, mate We didn't call the fire department. They did if they say I'm calling the fire department I'm gonna let it go to I'm gonna I'm gonna encourage it. Do you understand? I'm gonna say yes quickly call two call two call two of them Yeah, yeah, okay, that's okay Anyway, we'll see what happens here. All right Don't worry matt brown. I don't think that's a good idea. It's just an elevator consult james so many elevators Fuck Hello Excuse me. Hello Fucking hell. Hello Hello, honey, ma'am. Good afternoon. Excuse me. Okay. I'm at your hotel. Do you understand me? Okay, I'll trap you in one of your Elevators, okay your elevator stops between floor six to seven A pretty fucking bell and that's coming down, right? Listen to the bell and why is that coming the elevator is stuck. Do you understand me? Hello Unfortunately, I cannot understand you Listen, okay. Listen closely. I am stuck. Okay in your elevator Okay Quickly, okay, I'm freaking out right now. Okay, I'm freaking out Hi What's the fuck is going on Sadist says they're trying to have with the girls Hello What the fuck is going on trapezoids six to seven Just want to go to the restaurant and have a short house Hello Oh god, let me have a sit down. Mm. Feel so fucking dizzy Fucking all of our needs to go to the loo Hello Can't listen to what happens to maria Hello Hello, oh my god. Are you serious right now? Hello. Hello, can you hear me? Yes. Yeah. Hello I've been trapped in one of your elevators For between floor six and seven and no one's come to help me. Okay. I need someone to come and let me out All right Hello, this is never excuse me. Don't you leave me? Yes, including that's the important man. Oh darling. My uncle's starting to do Restaurants activities and bars all just there's no one having the maria. We're located just sorry. Where are you sucking? Yeah, where are you sucking? I'm sucking an elevator. Okay, but train for six and seven. Okay Can you see me waving at the camera? Okay? I'll push the button for you. Say I'm in an elevator Okay, you need to send someone quickly because I am kosher far back. Okay. I can't stand the link In here for too much longer Dentalism, I'm saying this is never what happened to the maria. Are you sure? What lip is that one or two or three? Look, I'm not sure. Okay the one closest to reception Was jammed up a hurt little rattling. Okay, and I don't want to have to say that But my uncle is starting to do the lawyer. Okay, and he will be coming If you don't send some type of maintenance man To come and help me. I've got a surprise waiting in the security camera Look, I pushed the button. Okay. What do you think that's my cow horn? I'm sitting in the elevator. I want to keep abreast of what's going on with oaks. You can find us on all of our social media sites Special deals And competition. Why not? What the hell is going on down there? Okay You're listening off having trauma right now Do you understand me? Okay Do you understand what I'm even saying to you right now? Okay. Yeah, I think there's an issue because you're not in one of our lives Excuse me if you used to east verbally assaulted me basically, okay You're telling me I'm not stuck in left right now. Well, how am I not nice? How am I making a nice miss mighty pants, and you're not in any of them Is this so dickless? This never would have happened at the maria And I have a glass of stress. Thank you. Glass of show you pink. Anyway So much holding though. Fuck. No. No. I just like I think I could just fucking listen to ronda all day She's very special I'm so happy they could see the elevators. I was panic level that they couldn't oh it ended with you calling him a pig Ah Kind of cut all the fucking boring slow if it's boring because there was some boring maybe just yeah It was good. That was honestly. I like to probably the brakes more so than the interactions with the humans Yeah, and it all ties together. Yeah. It was like a fucking story All right, everyone if you liked the podcast give it a like and a comment and subscribe Because we like seeing the numbers go up. It's good for our egos Isn't that good for the mental health? Yeah, we walk around big headed big podcasts. That's what we want Power and influence people do what we say big numbers Because we're the best We are what matt We're the best man. We are actually we're the best matt Say it matthew say it soon Otherwise your mum dies Stop that That's not five four three two one. She's done a little best We we are not her dude if she dies in the next five days. That's your fault I'll say it again to clear your name matthew brown Say we are the best otherwise your mum will die in it's your fault if she dies in the next five days Five four three two one. We're the best There we are. Fuck we're the best