 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Johnathan Asley of johnathanasley.com, and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the five subtle signs he's not going to commit, even if he loves you. All right, really quickly, before we get started, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms. Also, my coaching style is what I call heart-centered radical honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. Occasionally I use expletives to enhance a sentence, and if that isn't your cup of tea, I suggest logging off right now. And lastly, these are just my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions. This is by no means the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. If this resonates with you great, if it doesn't, that's okay too, because I'd like to encourage everyone to expand their consciousness and work on themselves rather than judging the content per se. All right, let's jump into those five subtle signs he'll never commit, even if he loves you. You know what's fascinating to me is I, when I was in my 20s and I was on the hunt for a wife, I really had no clue what it meant to be in a relationship. I had no clue what it meant to be in love. I really didn't understand relationships. In fact, it wasn't until well after my divorce that I even really had any clue of the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship, and that's only because I studied this stuff. I operated under the premise that most people operate, and that is chemistry equals relationship success. Let me repeat that, chemistry equals relationship success. So if I had chemistry with someone, that must mean it's love, and if it's love, it's just gonna naturally work out. Boy was I in for a surprise until I began studying a number of things, one of which is called love attachment style and the other is a mago, and I'll talk about that in a second. Because why it's important to discuss this before we get into those five subtle signs is the reality is as most people actually believe they're in love when they're not actually in love. Let me repeat that, they believe they're in love when they're not actually in love, because lust and limerence doesn't mean love. That's right, lust and limerence doesn't mean love. And when we're in the beginning of stages of dating where oftentimes amped up, we men in particular are amped up on lust and limerence. If you're not familiar with limerence, I highly suggest Googling it, but I'll give you the clip note version. It simply means extreme infatuation, extreme infatuation. I know I've been there in the early stage of dating believing it's extreme infatuation. And then later on down the road, and I can think of one particular, well actually two particular relationships, where I thought I was in love with this person when I was actually experiencing unhealthy attachment. I'm gonna repeat that, unhealthy attachment. And if you're not familiar with the book, excuse me, I have two books here. If you're not familiar with the book Attach by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, I highly recommend checking you out. This describes the three different types of attachment style known as anxious, avoidant, and secure. Anxious, avoidant, and secure. And while the author claims that 50% of the population is secure, I don't believe that to be true. And I only say this, maybe those who are already married and have been together a long time might make up a big percentage of that 50%. But those single and looking for love, especially those in midlife, I bet that number of secure is a very small percentage. And we experience more anxious or avoidant attachment styles. And attachment styles simply mean how we attach to another human being. Now there's something else to consider and that's known as the Amago, the Amago. This is where we oftentimes choose people that are very similar to one or both of our parents because we're trying to heal a wound from our parental upbringing and we choose unhealthy partners to heal ourselves. And we don't do this consciously, we do this subconsciously. So I highly recommend checking out the book called Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunt. Why I recommend these books is because when we say we believe that we're in love, oftentimes it's not real love. We might be amped up on the chemicals, we might be attached to them via love attachment, or we might be experiencing the Amago. Okay, this is true for men and women alike. So when I said earlier the five subtle signs he won't commit even if he's in love, there's a good chance it's not true love, it's simply attachment style or Amago or the chemical attraction that we have. So what I'm about to share, even though the title says the subtle signs, the reason why I call these the subtle signs is because it fascinates me how many women accept these signs and they're not so subtle, they're actually blatantly obvious. And yet because most likely you're hooked on chemistry or limerence or the Amago or attachment style, you totally overlook these signs and that's what we're going to lean into today. So let's get started with those five subtle signs. Number one, oh, and by the way, here's my trusty notes, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. That's my trusty notes. Okay, number one, his professional life is in chaos. His professional life is in chaos. When a man's professional life in chaos, the ground underneath him doesn't feel solid. Maybe there's challenges at work. Maybe he's in a startup company. Maybe he's going through some real problems with his employer. Whatever it is, when a man's professional life is in chaos, there is no foundation for him to be able to commit. Now I know many of you might hold out for a guy like this thinking that those things will often change. I will tell you that while that is certainly possible, you may want to pay close attention to how he reacts to these problems because there are some human beings that literally suckle on the nipple of drama. And they actually create chaos in their life in multiple ways because men and women alike create this chaos so because that's how they feel alive. And I don't mean alive from a healthy sense, just alive from the fact is that they have to solve problems constantly. Again, if someone's professional life is in chaos, makes it difficult for them to fully commit. Okay, number two, he either has a contentious relationship with an ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse or maybe he's still secretly in love with his ex-girlfriend or ex-spouse. Those people that are dealing with contentious exes or still fantasize about those exes. And you know these types of guys, these are the guys that constantly talk about their ex-partner, either from the perspective of throwing them under the bus or complaining about them constantly or you can literally pick up on the, your spider sentences can pick up that there's still much love for that person. When a person is very much connected to their ex-partner, it makes them again, difficult to have a foundation underneath them to fully commit in relationship. I know many of you have experienced this and you're kind of holding hope, you're holding hope that, well, because we have this amazing chemistry, maybe everything else will magically work out. And we all know, we all know, we all know that you can't change, magic fairy dust doesn't change someone's behavior. It's better to choose people who are not in a contentious relationship or not secretly fantasizing about an ex-partner. I'll be candid with you. I was in a significant relationship that ended four years ago. And by the way, we had three breakups and each breakup, I was still very much hooked on her from love attachment style and I was still very much wanting her back. It took almost a year after our last breakup and very little contact with one another to actually heal to be in a place where I wasn't constantly thinking about wanting her back from an unhealthy place. And this was the tape playing in my head. I wanted her back, I wanted her back. What could I have done differently? Why didn't she do this and all that kind of stuff? All the why, why, why, why's? I'm here to say, you can't change someone to shifting to a commitment if they're holding space for someone else. Okay, number three, he's always busy with his family and his friends. He's always busy with his family and friends. He has a rich life with his friends or he has a very rich life with his family. These people make, they make room for a relationship but they make a very sliver of room for a relationship. And interesting enough, women do the exact same thing as well. Women who have busy lives, busy family, busy friends, they create a sliver for a relationship because they want that connection and they want that intimacy. However, most people who can't devote a significant amount of time to a relationship don't build the deep roots of trust to actually form a solid committed relationship. So someone who's constantly busy with their family and friends typically doesn't make room for a relationship going forward. And while there might be the exception to the rule, I certainly would pay very close attention in the early stages is how busy are they? Are they busy? Are they constantly busy? I'm always busy. That people that post I am busy on their dating apps, this is what I say for me personally. I don't want someone who's busy. I want someone who has balance. Those are the human beings at least for me personally and I invite you to explore that for yourself is people who have balance in their life make much better partners than people who are busy in their lives. Okay, number three, oh, minimal effort, minimal effort. Now, what I mean to say is minimal effort in comparison to your effort. So you've been dating, you've got hooked on the chemistry, you start spending time together, but you begin to notice that he makes minimal effort to reach out, he makes minimal effort to actually take you out on dates and you find yourself reaching out a little bit more than he is, you're making more of the effort than he is. Folks, when a guy is making less effort than you, I want you to think of it like driving on a street. It's a two lane street and you're ahead of him constantly. It begins to feel like you have to pull him to be in the relationship. Now, I'm a big proponent of effort should be matched much like a seesaw, if he pushes up and he comes down, you push up and come down. In other words, the relationship should feel like a nice gentle seesaw where you're working in unison with one another on effort. And if his effort is minimal to yours, I want to tell you all something and you better listen to this very clearly. Giving more love doesn't get more love back. It doesn't work that way. The more you give doesn't give you back. And I find that women oftentimes give, give, give, give, give more love or really what we're talking about is more effort than the man. And when the man's making minimal effort, then he's not really ready for a committed relationship. And number five, number five. Oh, a man that's not gonna commit doesn't have a plan. Here's the thing, most guys today, and this is the sucky part for you ladies, okay? Because let's face it, women have a greater propensity to wanting a relationship than men. You just do, you biologically, it's been DNA program into you because for the long, for thousands of years, you've been dependent upon men. You've literally been dependent upon men. So now, because you can earn your own living and you can take care of yourself, you're not dependent, but from that DNA perspective, you want commitment more so than men. Men biologically want to spread their seed so they're less likely to commit. Here's the reality, is most men are good guys, they're just bad daters. And one of the problem with men, especially midlife men, and midlife is after baby making years and before retirement, is midlife men, if they're no longer on the hunt for a wife, like they were in their 20s and 30s, then the challenge is they don't know what they want and they operate from the premise of, I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll believe it when I see it. Okay, and what that means is, they think once they meet the right person, they'll be ready. Unlike the men, the type of men that I associate with is they operate from the place of when I see it, I'll believe it. When I see it, I'll believe it. What I mean is these are the men that genuinely know that they want a fully committed relationship and they're intentional with the process. They're intentional. In other words, they recognize that they need to invest time. They recognize that they have to heal their childhood wounds and traumas and their past relationships and that their house is in order and they've got their shit together. And look, ladies, I get the frustration. I know it's terribly hard on you because most men don't operate this way. I mean, folks, I wasn't this way until I started to study this stuff and until I started to read the books and then write my own book. It was through writing my own book. And if you're not familiar with my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? I highly recommend checking out. There's a link below to all my books. Is once I started to write my book, when I really began to do all the work as a dating and relationship coach, I understood the importance of the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. This is one of the reasons why I continually recommend the book Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. Why I recommend this is this is the mechanics to begin the conversation to determine if the two of you are really compatible with one another. Now, I will tell you this, in my private coaching, what I do is I help women specific to themselves by determining who's really compatible for you and teaching you how to come up with your questions you need to ask specific to you to determine if you're compatible with one another and if he's emotionally mature and if you need help with that, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with a coach is right for you. All right, those five subtle signs he's most likely never going to commit even though he's in love with you and what I typically love is the unhealthy version of love. His professional life is in chaos. He still cares about his ex or he has a contentious ex. What did I write down? He's always busy with his family and friends. He makes minimal effort in relationship to your effort and lastly, he doesn't have a plan. Men who want to go the distance have some plan in their head and I can teach you the right questions to ask and let me just say this, ladies, when you know your standards, you'll be able to spot these men quickly. When you see the bigger picture, you'll be able to spot these men quickly and lastly, when it feels off, it usually is and if it is for two reasons, if something doesn't feel right in the relationship it's off for two reasons. Either he's not right for you or actually you're not right for him because whenever you're feeling fear from an insecure place, that might mean you're not ready for a relationship and that might mean you definitely need to get my book what the heck is self love anyway. All right, I think that gives you the gist of where we're going at today and since this is Friday and we're going to do the Q&A section. For those who are live right now, we have a chat box in YouTube where you can post a question, write the word question and then post your question there after or purchase a super sticker or super chat. Those who follow my work know that all the funds from the super sticker, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor. There's a picture of Connor right there. He's my son who passed away three years ago and in his honor, I've created this scholarship fund to help defray the cost of personal development and to support two big causes that I'm very near and dear to me is the Hoffman process and insight seminars and I take the funds and donate it to them as well as the fraying the cost of personal development. So purchase that super sticker, super chat to let me know I've been providing you value or you can even post a question there. All right, time to take questions. Terry says, great advice, thank you. Nicole just said, I just ordered your book. Thank you, Nicole. Rose says, great book, thank you. I'm glad to hear that, happy to hear that. Bluebee says, great book. I have it and give it to friends. Oh, I'm so honored. Thank you so much. Doug, our token mail, by the way, we have several token, I say token mails. One of our quality mails, these high value men is Doug and Todd that's in the house usually and Doug says interesting, a lot of things in life work that way. I believe it and then I see it. I believe it, then I see it. I believe it, then I see it. I believe it and then I'll see it versus when I, I'll believe it. Wait, I'll believe it when I see it versus when I believe it, I will see it. Okay, thanks so much Doug, I appreciate that. Sadie says, I dated a guy who showed all these signs a year later, he fell in love and got married. I wasn't for him, interesting. By the way, it doesn't mean he's happily married Sadie. By the way, ladies, a lot of times a guy will end a relationship with you and immediately get married to someone else. I bet you anything, that relationship will blow up too. So, you know what, not that I'm wishing that for them but just remember that that's a possibility. Hey, Bluebee, I wanna thank you for the super sticker. I really appreciate that, 999, thank you so much. All right, if you have a question, post the word question. All right, we have Annie here, question. Is after six months in a relationship with my boyfriend enough to ask him if he plans on marriage? Is six months in a relationship enough time to ask him about marriage? Let me just say something, Annie. I think you should set your standard right from the get-go. I'm a big proponent, folks. Let's just be real about midlife. Well over 50% of people in midlife don't wanna get remarried, and that's men and women. It's more men, most likely, but certainly women as well. Now, if you're in 20s and 30s, that should be discussed right up front. Ladies, before the penis ever goes inside the vagina, make it known, if you're in your 20s and 30s, make it known you wanna get married again. If you're in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, be very up front. If marriage is important, if either living together or getting married is something you want, that's not something you talk about in six months. That's something you tell them right up front. Here's what happens. Guys who have no intention of getting remarried, they're gonna walk away. They're gonna walk away. Those men that genuinely don't wanna get remarried. Men who are on the cusp, if they like you, they'll invest time in you. What's most important is you set your standard right from the get-go. Because the worst thing that can happen is, he says, oh yeah, I want a relationship and blah, blah, blah, blah, but you're in a relationship together, but you're on two different pages. Folks, it's time to get on the same page relatively early on. In the first 100 hours of, the first 100 hours of face-to-face time, you should be vetting the motherfucker. Let me repeat that. You should be vetting the motherfucker. And please excuse my language. You should be thinking about my relationship iceberg. And here it is. And what this says is above the waterline is the tip of the iceberg, which is chemistry. And above the waterline is attraction. Below the waterline is shared values, blendable lifestyles, and emotional maturity. That's where compatibility comes in. The whole purpose of the first 100 hours of getting to know one another is to determine if you're on the same page. But Jonathan, but Jonathan, the book The Rule says, I'm supposed to play manipulative games and just have fun. That's right. I'm just supposed to play manipulative games and have fun. Folks, manipulative games and having fun in the early stage of dating sets you up for huge failure. Because here's what happens. You're just having fun. Let's just have fun. You know what? It's all about having fun. And let me play these stupid games like I'll wait four hours to text them or I'll do this to play games with them. Yeah, that works short term. But here's what happens. You're six months in only to find out the guy doesn't want a serious relationship. He just wants to have fun. He just wants connection and he wants companionship. Listen, at midlife, we don't have time to fuck around. We don't have time to fuck around. Ladies, you especially don't have time to fuck around. Be direct with guys. I mean, I'm not saying on the first, second or third date, but once you've invested 100 hours of face time and the penis has spent time in the vagina, did you hear that? The penis has spent time in vagina. It's time to get busy living or get busy dying. This is your time to determine if you're on the same page. So you don't find out six months a year down the road. Now that doesn't mean he has to marry you. What's most important that he's thinking about it, that he's actually intentional about it, or at least he's intentional about the idea of wanting to live together. Now, folks, let me just be clear about something. I'm very puritan. I believe in one thing, is that living together, getting married because what's the point? Okay, now, doesn't mean you can't maybe have a relationship where you live in the same town and you have two separate homes. That's okay too, but ultimately I'm a big proponent of living together or getting remarried for those of us that have been married before, okay? My coaching advice is centered around that. Not everybody, a lot of people just want casual relationship. In fact, a lot of you women are only capable of a casual relationship, just like a lot of men are only capable of a casual relationship. I want you to have more than that. So be direct, don't wait six months. Talk about it now. Most likely your relationship will end. I mean, I'm sorry to say, if you bring it up now, it'll end. But wouldn't you rather know now than later when you've invested five years because the average woman will waste five years with the wrong guy? I'm gonna repeat that. The average woman will spend five years with the wrong guy, hoping that magic fairy dust will change everything because magic fairy dust works so well. Ladies, men are happy with connection and sex. It's the old phrase, you know, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, men will be happy with connection and sex. If you want something serious, then set your standard and then set your boundary to match that standard. Is that sinking in? Is that resonating? Please hit me the thumbs button to let me know. Annie, thank you so much for that question. Oh, wow, I wanna thank Michelle for the 1999 Super Sticker. Thank you so much for that, Michelle. I really appreciate it. All right, I hope I helped with her question. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. There's Michelle, Super Sticker. Thank you so much. Doug says, I love your graph. Really makes sense. Thank you. This is from a guy, ladies. Weijun says, question. When you say commitment and standards, are they the same thing? No. Standard, okay, great question. So everybody who follows my work knows Jonathan Asley's standard. I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork building skills, both in our personal and our professional lives, and intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married. That's my standard. The commitment is when I meet someone, I live up to that standard. I live up to that standard. And my boundary is when someone isn't meeting that standard, I speak up. That's my standard. Now I could meet a woman that has a standard where she'd like to see someone once every other week because she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Well, that doesn't fit into the standard I want. So we could either compromise, which means we might make a trade-off if there's some potential there. That's what a compromise is simply a trade-off. You're trading something good for something that's not so good, for example. But ultimately, a commitment is a mutual agreement with one another. That's what a commitment is. A mutual agreement with one another. The problem is, is most people don't know how to commit to each other anymore. So the difference, a standard, I want you to think of a standard like a coin, okay? On one side is your standard, the other side is your boundary. The commitment is when two coins get together and you put them in the piggy bank together. That's a commitment. When you take two coins together and put it in the piggy bank together and now it's in the bank where you both share it. So, Weijin, that was a great question. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. All right, let's go swimming. Eva says, I'll be turning 50 in three years' time. I love rock and roll and the Rolling Stones is my inspiration. Sad we lost Charlie Potts. I likewise, I agree. Amina says, dating is exhausting. Yes, it can be. So, I just want to acknowledge that. I want you to think, we just had the Olympics recently and I just want you to think of an Olympic athlete and they're about ready to do the race, their final race. Now, certainly all the work that they did in advance, all that work to prep and to prep and to prep and to prep and prep was incredibly exhausting. The value was by the time they get ready for the race they're thinking, I'm going to win the gold. I'm going to win the gold. They don't operate like this. Oh my God, all that work was exhausting. All that work was exhausting and it's going to be exhausting to do the race and what's worse, I'm going to come in last place. When I hear things like that, that's the energy that's being portrayed. I'm going to repeat that. That's the energy being portrayed. Is that I don't like this process. I hate this process and I hope that magic fairy dust will make me change my mindset. Folks, if a person's mindset is negative you're already setting yourself up for failure. This is why I highly recommend reading book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer and then follow it up with the book Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Return to, this is the CD version but I recommend purchasing the book or getting the audios of both. I recommend it's time to shift the mindset because if your mindset is built and I'm not saying dating isn't exhausting but you have a choice. If you're carrying and I'm not suggesting you are but I will say most people do they're carrying negativity towards the process. I actually, listen, I think it's exhausting too but I love dating. I love, when I say I love dating when I meet someone that's really exciting to be with I love dating. So I recognize that it can be exhausting and it can be incredibly rewarding because here's the thing. Love is a risk. Love is a risk and it's the best game in town. Love is a risk and it's the best game in town. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Hey, I wanna thank Maria G for that super sticker. Thank you so much for that $20. I really appreciate that. By the way, what do you think of my red today? I haven't worn the red sweater in a while. Mainly because it's summertime and it's hot but thankfully it's cool outside. So what do you think of my red sweater? Thanks so much. All right, let's go swim in. Okay, let's go swim in. Cool. What does Doug say from a guy's perspective before the vagina gets introduced to the penis? Isn't that a cute one? I just came up with that one. Weijin, thank you so much. I really appreciate that super sticker. And Nicole writes, question. Is it possible to find love again after your spouse passed away? I'm trying my best to depend on myself but it's been a year since my husband passed away. On Nicole, first off, I'm giving you a big, gigantic Jonathan Bear hug. That must be tough. I have a, oh, it's interesting. My high school girlfriend, I shouldn't say a girlfriend. I had this big crush on a gal in high school and we went to the prom together and we went to another dance together and I did the biggest crush on her but we went our separate ways after high school and we reconnected on Facebook and we'd become really good friends with one another in the last few years and she's been married up until actually, literally a year and a few months ago, her husband got sick and died of cancer within six weeks. I mean, it was like, boom, out of the blue. And I share this because about three weeks ago, I was swiping on Bumble, I was swiping on Bumble and I saw her profile and we've been friends so I reached out to her and we got on the phone and chatted and such and she's putting herself out there. It's about a year and a few months after her husband passed away and she's in her mid fifties. Okay, so why am I sharing this with you? First off, it's absolutely possible to find love again. In fact, in one way, and this sounds terrible, there's two sides of this coin because when you deeply love someone, it's difficult to let go. And yet, here's the benefit and I know this doesn't sound good, is that at least it's clean. Oftentimes, many of us who have gone through a divorce and have contentious relationships with our ex-partner, it's not always clean and the one thing is with a husband or spouse who passed away, it's at least clean. And it gives you an opportunity to start afresh. And by the way, like I said, she's in her mid fifties, there is a good chance she could spend the next 30 years. She could actually spend more years with a new husband than her first husband. So if you're in midlife, you have plenty of life left in you to actually engage in a new relationship. Now, I look at it from the perspective of optimism. If you look at it from the perspective of pessimism, it's not going to work out. So my invitation for everybody in this particular case is to look at it from a perspective of optimism. And that's how I would approach that. So, and I hope I gave you some perspective that helped you out. And once again, Nicole, sending you a big gigantic jot and bear hug of self-love. All right, I wanna thank Taffy for the $20 Super Sticker in honor of my son Connor. Oh my gosh, I can't, oh my gosh, I am so grateful. Thank you so much, big gigantic hugs to you. All right, let's go swimming. Rose says, red is your color. Thank you so much. Thank you, I really appreciate that. Michelle says, I just started seeing a guy who relocated from northeast to Florida. He's reestablishing himself so his career not stable, but he is doing everything else on your list right. 50s each divorced. So, here's the thing. His professional life is in chaos, is not the same as someone who's, like when I was starting my business, I was gung-ho. And while I might not have had the financial resources to really fully commit to a relationship, I was in gung-ho and growth mode. If someone's in gung-ho and growth mode, that's not chaos. That means they might not have time for a relationship, but that doesn't mean chaos. So, you might actually have all five things. And Michelle, I wish you much luck in that relationship. All right. Amina says, I'm 41 and it's so hard to find a man. So, Amina, I just wanna tell you something. My audience is predominantly 50 and 60 year olds. They're going, fuck, bitch. I wished I was 41. Try when you're 50 or 60, thinking how hard it is. You know what, you still, by the way, I know so many people that fall in love in their fifties. I know so many people that fall in love in their sixties. So, you can have a defeatist attitude and like, what exactly did you say? It's so hard. Or you can say, it's raining great men. It's raining great men. It's raining great men. It's raining great men. You can either look at the glass half empty or you can look at the glass half full, okay? Now I recognize everything is hard. That's okay. And I wanna invite you to shift the narrative and say, can everybody write in the chat box, it's raining great men, please? Thank you so much. And hit that like button. Bridge says, John, that is sparkling white teeth. Thank you. All right. Rebecca says, commitment is a standard. I think it's a little bit different. Commitment is the agreement to the standard. That's what the commitment is, at least in my purview, anyway. By the way, a lot of people have standards and they don't even commit to their standards, okay? All right, question, heaven says, question. How do I navigate my 14 year ex-husband who T.E.D. recently left a relationship that was basically a roommate who was an alcoholic? He is healing and we're both sober. I'm friend zone. I really don't know how to respond to this question. He's an ex-husband who recently left a relationship that was basically a roommate who was an alcoholic. He is healing and we're both sober. I'm in the friend zone. You know, I don't know why you wanna be with your ex-husband so expand upon that because I'm clueless as to where you were going with that. Yep, free 99, lots of men who are out there. All right, Julie, Julie May. Question, please give advice for an individual who only wants to spend time talking about fun or happy things during those first few weeks or months. How can I get to know more intimate details? How, wait, let me read this again. Please give advice for an individual who, okay, so if I understand, you don't wanna go deep in the beginning. You want to have fun in the beginning. Okay, that's great. I'm all in favor. If you want that, that's great. Here's the problem. You're having fun. You have sex together. You have great sex together. Only to find out he's a narcissist. He's a sociopath. He's a nut job. He's in chaos. His life's a mess. Was it worth having all that fun to find that out later on in the road? Late at like three or four months down the road? Wouldn't you rather find out he's the wrong guy before you ever go on a first date? Wouldn't you, what ladies? Give me a thumbs up or raise your hand or say yes. If you'd rather know before a first date if he's the wrong guy. All right, if that's a yes, then ask better questions right from the get-go. By the way, I highly recommend reading the book. Are you the one for me by Barbara DeAngelis? Are you the one for me? Knowing who's right and avoiding who's wrong, I highly recommend reading this book because here's the thing. I'm not a big proponent of fun. I'm a big proponent of grilling someone very early on. Now, I say that tongue-in-cheek, so don't hold me to it. What I mean to say is, no five or six or 10 really good questions that you know needs to be answered before you give your heart to a guy. And that's what I teach in my private coaching, how to ask it in a conversational way. By the way, the link below to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you is I teach you how to conversationally ask the right questions so you can avoid the wrong guy sooner and that way you make room for the right guy. So in your particular case, if you wanna just have fun and roll the dice, then just have fun and roll the dice. You know what? Dr. Phil says, how's that working for you? So if it works for you, then stick with it. If you wanna try a different way, then I suggest reaching out for a call with me. That's my invitation, so Julie, thank you for your question. Michelle says, I did waste almost five years with a guy. See my point everybody? All right. Diana says, I've been saying a year, can you give suggestions on how to start a conversation about whether he has plans to go the distance? You find out before the penis goes inside the vagina, you know what you do? You read this book together, folks. You buy two copies of this book. I know this goes against all the fucking dating rules you've heard, but you know what? We don't have time at midlife to fuck around. And here's the thing, if a guy is attracted to you, if he's physically attracted to you, he likes you and you guys are actually potentially good friends, by introducing this book early on, he's going to wanna do it with you. That's a man who's serious. I don't think a man who's maybe men on the cusp might get turned off by it. But here's the thing, if he likes you, he's gonna wanna do it. Or if he's a control freak, he'll be absolutely against it. He'll be absolutely against it if he's a control freak. If he's a narcissist, he'll turn it around and saying why you're a net job for asking. That's what a narcissist will do. But for the most part, a healthy man will want to go, hey, that's a good idea. By the way, folks, how many of you are doing the love language test before you have sex together? How many of you are doing the love language test? Check out the book, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend finding out what a guy's love language is early on. And I will tell you, most guys, actually most legit men, Doug, tell me if you wouldn't read the book, eight dates with someone. Tell me you wouldn't do the five love language with someone. Ladies, Doug, who's here in the chat box, would absolutely do that. So I'm here to say you want a guy who's willing to invest effort. Men who are cavalier about the dating process, men who are cavalier about a committed relationship will push that stuff off and tell you you're crazy. Genuine men will go, wow, that sounds like a good idea. And by the way, you might learn very quickly on that you're not a good fit for one another. You know, it's interesting. I've just been chatting with someone online through a dating app. And you know what I really appreciated was her second message to me after the hello message. No, actually after she liked my profile and I wrote her, she wrote me back discussing the distance between us. And I think there's 35 minutes or 35 miles of distance. And I love the fact that she brought it up early on and she wanted to discuss it before we invest a time with one another. So we went back and forth with a couple text messages and now we have a telephone call plan. Now I don't know if it's gonna go anywhere, but my point is I love the fact that she was demonstrate of effusive and intentional in the beginning stages. It makes things easier than trying to wing it, wing it, everybody's winging it, winging it, winging it, stop winging it and being intentional. But Jonathan, the book, the rule says men are supposed to lead the relationship process and I'm just supposed to sit back in my feminine energy and let them have clammy, because men are so chivalrous and all I have to do is sit in my feminine. Folks, at midlife, you don't have times to sit in your feminine. I'm here to suggest be intentional, make mutual effort, commensurate to yours because men in midlife, men who are genuinely serious about a relationship want partners. They don't want princesses. Princesses follow the feminine energy advice because princess energy is all about the guy proving himself to you. Let me tell you something and Doug, please confirm this for me. Men at our age want you, we want you to prove to us you're worthy just as much as you want us to prove to you. Let me repeat that. We want you to prove you're worthy to us just as much as we want to prove you want us to prove we're worthy to you. It's a two lane street. It requires mutual effort. You don't sit back in your feminine and the princess energy. You lean into the process mutually and that's my invitation for everybody. Can I please get an amen? Thank you so much. I do that when I feel like I've been preachy or pontificating. So that's why I do that. All right, by the way, Diane, thanks for that one. Okay, Taffy says, a male friend years ago said, don't commit because they're about nostalgia and inertia. Made me laugh at that time, but as I get older, I see some truth in that thoughts. Don't commit because they're about, I need to ponder that one more. I'm not even sure I even understand why. By the way, just because one guy said anything, said something doesn't mean all men look that way. Oh, by the way, my coffee mug says, let that shit go. All right, I love Lynn. Be direct, love it, exactly. Bridge says, some guys are married to their mirror image. That might not hurt. Rhonda says, I love your pictures. A definitive fun time was had by all. By the way, these are from mixed tiles and I change them every time I do a broadcast. Of course, there's my mom and dad when they're in their 20s. They were married 66 years before my mother passed away a few years ago. All right, Cynthia writes, question, how do I get an intro session with you to see if we're therapy match? By the way, as soon as this live broadcast is done, you can go to the description right now. There's a link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Okay, looks like we've got Annie back again. Follow up question. Jonathan, or I asked him, Jonathan, if he has plans on marriage and he answered me, it's too early to talk about marriage since he had trauma with his last girlfriend two years ago. Okay, so there's the difference between talking about marriage between the two of you versus the idea of wanting to get married. I think what you're wanting to find out if the idea he wants to get married, here's the problem you have. If he had trauma with an ex-girlfriend, there is a good chance he's done about this much work healing that. There is this fantasy that time heals all wounds and that's bullshit. Time doesn't heal all wound. All time does if wounds haven't been healed is progressively more armor and more armor and more armor's been built up. So I'm gonna guess that your chances of success with him is slim unless he's done some work. So rather than focusing on marriage, I would really evaluate the relationship. I would highly recommend scheduling a one-time coaching session with me to evaluate the relationship on your behalf with you because then you can decide whether or not you wanna invest more time with him or not because this isn't a conversation about marriage. This is really a conversation of whether or not he's really a good potential partner. So Amy, thank you for that. I really appreciate it. Montell just wrote, question. I've known a man for years. We met yesterday. I asked him, what's up with you? He said, I'm married and we live separate lives. Why is it so hard for humans to move on and be completely free? So look it, I want you to think of a marriage like a tapestry, okay? When you unravel the tapestry, it takes time to completely unravel it. For many people, it can take years to unravel the tapestry of a life we had with a partner. And why, and so just like you've heard the, you've heard when somebody gets their arm cut off, they can still feel their arm. It's the same when somebody's been in your life for a very long time. It's very difficult to get over a relationship when we become attached to another human being. So the fact that you two connected, and I'm getting the sense if he's still married but lives separate lives, I don't recommend dating him. I don't recommend meeting him. I don't recommend engaging in any activity with him if you seriously want a relationship with somebody. Furthermore, I don't recommend it because what will happen, what happens so frequently is women get attached. They listen to the bullshit narrative. He tells you how unhappy is, how unhappy he is. And you're like, well, let me suck your cock to make you feel happy. Now I was being totally gross there, but my point is women will have a propensity to want to make somebody who's unhappy happy thinking that that guy will switch over and choose you. And let me tell you, giving him head won't do that. So my invitation for you is to find a man who's genuinely single and available versus investing in a man like that. But ultimately, and let me just say this, why is it so hard for humans to move on? Because just like that analogy when the arm gets cut off, it could take years before you actually think you've lost your arm. And that's an example of a why. Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it, Montell. Oh my God, thank you all so much for the superstickers. You guys have been great today. I'm so excited. I'm getting ready to make a donation to Insight, so I'm really excited about that. So thank you so much. All right, let's go swimming, Nicole again. Question, the guy I like says he was hurt before in a previous engagement. Will he ever commit? By the way, yeah, it's possible, but the question I would ask, how did you heal from the hurt? Let me repeat that. How did you heal from the hurt? How did you heal from the hurt? Why don't you ask him that and see how he responds? I guarantee you he'll be a deer in the headlight because he's done zero healing. And then the question is, why are you investing time who's still hung up on somebody else or hurt by someone else? All right, Jeanine says, or Jeanine, what the fuck I screw up names, Jeanine. Question, how to tell if he's avoid an attachment style or just not interested anymore after he broke up three times in one year. I didn't wanna lose me in his life. How do you tell? Buy the book attached and do the question. By the way, go online to attach the book and do the questionnaire as you would for him because I guarantee you he's probably an avoidant. And the fact that you've broken up three times, like again, you're probably attached to him from a biological perspective or a love attachment perspective. Listen, folks, if you look at the healthy happy relationships, most healthy happy relationships don't have to watch my YouTube channel. Let me repeat that. You don't have to be looking at dating advice. I mean, I don't know how many women are searching for advice in unhappy relationships hoping that magic fairy dust will change it. Most couples that are in a happy relationship, it's because it was right from the get-go. Let me repeat that, it was right from the get-go. It's only the wrong relationships that we're trying to, our ego tries to come up with ways to try to fix it. So coming back to another book I recommend, I highly recommend reading the book How to Be an Adult in Relationships, How to Be an Adult in Relationships. These are the kind of books you should be reading rather than lamenting about hoping that magic fairy dust will change a guy. Sorry, that's just my blunt response to your question, but to go back to it, I would say his likelihood of being committal is going to be, watch some of my other videos about emotionally mature men. Watch the videos about emotionally mature men. That will help you determine if it's worth investing in him or schedule a call with me and we can evaluate the relationship if you hire me for that. Okay. I want to thank Carrie, who just sent $5 Super Sticker. You are awesome, Jonathan. If a woman is interested in a man, is it okay to ask him out? And if so, where do you go out on a date? Oh my God, I love this question. So I want to tell you the story of somebody. First off, the answer is yes, you can actually ask a man out, but I want to tell you the story of a recent client who reached out to me. So she met a man online. They had one date, two dates, three dates, four dates. And she thought they had a good time. He made all the plans all the time. And she said she thought he was a really good catch. But then all of a sudden, he stopped calling her. This went on for one day, two days, three days, four days, five days later. He didn't reach out. So finally she asked me what to do. And I said, do yourself a favor, reach out to him and ask him out for a drink. And when you get on the phone with him and ask from the drink, ask him, I've noticed you've seen distance. Can you tell me what's up? And so she did that. She called him up or she texted him. They planned to get together for a drink. And then she asked him, he goes, I know you're distant, what happened? And here's what he said. He said, to be honest with you, I didn't think you were that into me. You didn't make effort calling. You didn't ask him out on it. This is his words, you didn't ask him out. You basically, it seemed like I was doing all the work and you were making no effort. And he just thought, why should I put in effort into a relationship, getting to know someone if they're not willing to make effort? And I thought, oh my God, when I heard this, I'm like, this is exactly what I keep talking about, ladies. Ladies, you oftentimes lose a lot of good guys because you're making minimal effort because you've been told that's what you're supposed to do. That men are supposed to claim you and they're supposed to lead the process. Folks, I want you to know my first book I ever wrote was called, Understand Men Now, the Relationships Commit to and Why. Understand Men Now, the Relationships Men Commit to and Why. Now I want to be candid. This is a very cheesy book. It's a very cheesy book. But I want to open one of the pages. Where is it? Page 49. Oh, page 49, okay. 49 in my book, hold on. It's called The Love Pie, The Love Pie. Now, the story with the, let me just show it again, The Love Pie. The story behind The Love Pie is I want you to think of a relationship like a piece of pie. And you put in 100% effort to half of the pie and the man puts in 100% effort to half the pie, okay? However, I want women to hold back just a tiny sliver of that half of the pie. I want you to put in 49% to that, in other words, you're putting 100% to 49% of the pie. Now, why am I sharing this with you? Because a lot of women put 80% effort into the pie, not 50%, they put 100%, but they do 80% of the work and the guy doesn't have to do shit, okay? Or the guy puts 80% of the work in and the woman doesn't do shit. Here's the thing, you want to put effort, commensurate to a man. You want the investment between the two of you, commensurate with each other. And I want you to hold back a little bit so you're not giving more than him. Women have a propensity to give way much believing if you give more, it equals love. What giving looks like is initiating a phone call. What giving looks like is initiating a date. What giving looks like is paying for a date. When you initiate and make effort into the relationship, men at midlife love it. They appreciate it. Emotionally mature men love and appreciate it. Controlling men hate when you make effort. Beta men want you to do all the effort. An emotionally mature man, a high value, emotionally mature man wants you to make effort. So to come back to your original question, you can absolutely ask a man on a date. I've been asked out on plenty of dates. Couple times I've said yes. Sometimes I've said no because they're not my type or we're not a good fit for one another. I do appreciate the effort and I commend every woman for making effort just like I commend every man for making effort. Effort should be mutual. I highly recommend reading the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. This teaches everybody to focus on taking the gender expectations out of the equation and focusing on the heart-centered way of dating. I repeat that, focusing on the heart-centered way of dating. When we start shifting to a heart-centered way of dating, guess what happens? We start experiencing more joy. We start experiencing that juicy, delicious, healthy relationship. I'm encouraging all of you to have. And then I highly recommend reading the book Making Love All the Time, another book by Barbara DeAngelis because when you understand the mechanics of a healthy, happy relationship, when you understand the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship and you've got two participants ready to engage in it, you have a greater chance for relationship success and hopefully that juicy, delicious relationship, juicy, delicious, healthy relationship, I hope you all want. So thank you so much. All right, I'm gonna save the last few minutes of our live stream only for personal questions. So if you have a personal question for me, write the word personal question, then write your question of you have for me. If you have any questions right now personally about Jonathan, I'm gonna do my best to respond to those. So thank you so much. So and once again, I wanna thank Carrie for that super sticker, I really appreciate that. Jennifer says magic fairy dust. That saying makes me laugh. I know so many women have, by the way, you are all carrying so much magic fairy dust. I don't even know where you get it anymore. All right, Sadie has a personal question for me. Jonathan, would you trust your parents to choose a wife for you? Who would they choose? So interesting. You know, it's funny. My mom was in love with that. I shared the story about my prom date. My mom loved her and I actually was very fond of her as well. I think for the longest time, I operated wanting my mom's approval. I really operated almost desperately wanting my mom's approval. And my mom loved my ex-girlfriend. In fact, even when my ex-girlfriend, when we split up, she was there when my mom passed away. She came to the hospital and spent time with my mom. I was really, I'm very grateful for that. Would I trust my mom and dad? Fuck no, they don't know what I'm attracted to. So, you know, and quite frankly, my mom is of an era where she never used a cell phone in her life. She didn't know how to write a check, barely knew how to write a check. I wouldn't trust my, my mom had no fucking clue. My mom and dad have no fucking clue about the world today. They are coming from an old age. Now, it might be different where you're living, especially here in the United States, where it's a melting pot of people. Places like India and other countries, they actually, parents do a really good job because it's usually centered around shared values and blendable lifestyles. And so in those countries, they often do choose pretty good partners, but fuck no for me. The Sadie, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Molina says, loved if the Buddha dated, got it from a thrift store, even better. All right, Sunshine Fee says, personal question, do you have female friends? Do they stand in the way of finding love? I have, it's kind of a nature of my business. I have quite a few female friends. I have one in particular, Tammy. She's in a great relationship with a guy. I mean, we talk four or five times a week. She calls me on her in-between appointments, and we do like five minute check-ins. She's a dear friend. I just picked her up from the hospital the other day. She's not in my life, even though we talk regularly, we talk for five minutes, it's always check-ins because we're like brother and sister. Tammy and I are brother and sister. My ex-girlfriend and I are like brother and sister. I treat most of my female friends like they're my sister. Now you all know I'm your big brother, and if I could be there for you on a first date, I'd have the shotgun ready and point it at the guy saying, what's your intentions with my sister? I've developed a lot of friendships that to me, they're like my little sister. I don't get too deeply intimate. I do share some intimate things because there are also a few of these women are my therapist on some level. And if a future woman has a problem with it, that's like telling me to say get rid of my son or get rid of my sister, getting rid of a few of my female friends who are like siblings to me. If they have a problem with it, then they're not my woman. So my woman is gonna appreciate that I have healthy friendship. So thank you so much for that. All right, personal question from Logan. Do you exercise like team sports or individual, which ones, okay. My typical workout routine is I block from 11 to one o'clock every day. That's my time to, I typically walk the, I will walk the beach for about five miles, several times a week. I go to the gym and I do the treadmill for 30 minutes of a good run. And then I do weightlifting for 30 minutes. I do tend to work out about five or six days a week, sometimes ride a bike along the beach. That's my, I don't do team sports. I've never been a team sport. Plus I'm in my fifties. The last thing I wanna do is play volleyball and throw my neck out or throw my back out. I just prefer calisthenics, weightlifting and cardio. But thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. Appreciate that Logan. All right, any other personal questions? Here we go. Jesse writes, personal question ghosted after six year relationship. How do I move on? How do I better myself? The personal question is a personal question of me. Ghosted after a six year relationship. How do I move on? How do I better myself? Jesse, I highly recommend purchasing this book. Conscious uncoupling, conscious uncoupling. This is now, this is to how to consciously uncouple but what I love about this book is it actually helps you heal even from a relationship where you were ghosted. I highly recommend reading this book to heal and that might give you a good start and then schedule a coaching session with me and we can talk about that more. So thank you so much. All right, Deep Diver says, personal question. Do you do couple sessions to figure out how to make a relationship work? He has commitment avoided and I'm a life partner type. How do we both have growth mindset? I have done couple sessions before. I do a deep dive into analyzing the guy. So yes, I can do that and that's something I do offer. So thank you so much. All right, personal question. Do you know your Chinese astrological sign? I have a feeling you might be a tiger. You are correct, I am a tiger and folks, my astrological sign. Here is my chart. So here's my, I keep it in my favorites. Here's my chart. I have my son is in Leo, my moon is in Leo, my Mercury is in Leo, my Venus in Virgo, my Mars in Gemini, my Jupiter in Pisces, my Saturn in Aquarius, my Uranus is in Leo, my Neptune is in Scorpio, my Pluto's in Virgo, my Chevron is in Pisces, my N-Node is Leo and my Ascension is Libra. I have five fucking houses in Leo. Oh my God, does the world revolve around me or what? Thankfully, I'm not as egotistical as my sign makes me how to be. However, I got a shitload of Leo in me. So that's what I know about myself and I do believe I am the year of the tiger. So thank you so much for that question. Regent asked, question, how long do you usually give yourself in another to get to know each other before you decide the two of a good match? Three months, 10 dates? So you know what's interesting? After my significant relationship ended, I don't think I've gotten, well, I briefly had a short-lived relationship but I haven't gotten past a third date with someone. Most of the time I don't ask anyone on a second date if I'm not that into them and the few that I've had two dates with, they weren't interested in me. So I believe that it will take me roughly about four to 10 dates to determine if I wanna explore a relationship with someone. If I choose to explore a relationship with someone, I'm gonna be very intentional. I'd like to explore a relationship with you from a premise of intentionality which would include reading books like eight dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. It might include reading, the five love languages as an example and maybe a few other books. That's my intention to be very intentional along the while, having fun, fucking our brains out on a regular basis, doing traveling together, going out with friends, doing social activities. I can do all this at the same time. I'm blessed, I have a lifestyle. Look, and I'm very blessed to have a lifestyle where I have freedom, I have flexibility. I'm seeking someone else who has freedom and flexibility to explore the depths of a relationship. For me personally, I wanna do something that very few couples ever do. And if you haven't read the book, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff, I'm seeking a spiritual partnership. I'm seeking a divine partnership. I'm seeking a partnership that goes beyond the surface of most couples. Sadly, most people operate from the surface level and for me, I wanna go much deeper. In fact, those who know me, here's, I want you to see this. I hate small talk. I wanna talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect, the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories you, you know, memories, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite scent, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak from a twisted mind. I don't wanna know what's up. Folks, for me, I wanna go that deeper level. I wanna explore the depths of a relationship. I want my partner to do ayahuasca with me. I want my partner to do psilocybin with me. I even wanna do an LSD journey with my partner to explore the deeper spiritual effects of life. That's what I want. I'm blessed. I don't need to raise children anymore. I'm not in that space. I wanna build a new life with somebody. And why I'm so passionate in my work is I want everyone else to maybe glean from my, my philosophy, my thought process. And maybe you're saying, that's what I want too. And to get there, you have to become intentional. You have to be a better asker, a question asker. You have to be a better detective. And you have to be forthright and demonstrative and treat it like a two-lane street. None of this lean back in your feminine. I want you to lean into your empowerment. I want you to lean into your self-love because when you love yourself, you know that you don't want a mediocre relationship. You want something extraordinary. And for me, I don't want just any relationship. I want a fuck yes kind of relationship. And you know what? If it doesn't happen, that's okay. But I won't settle for anything less than fuck yes. And that's just where I'm at in my life. It's taken me a decade and a half to be in this space. Most guys are in the emotional tunnel. They're a mess, I get it. Women are a mess too. Ladies are no fucking picnic either. But I will say, and to answer your question, that's my hope anyway. Thank you so much for the personal question. All right, Suzanne says fuck yes. Suzanne says, this video of yours Jonathan was the first deep one. So thank you. Wow, I really appreciate that. Stephanie says, damn Jonathan, that sounds awesome. Wait a minute, we'll go to this one. Jonathan, what's your religion? I am spiritual but not religious. I do not follow religious doctrine. I follow spiritual doctrine. My Bible is the course in miracles. The course in miracles. If you, look at how thick this is. This is a motherfucker of a book. This is, I think this is something like a thousand pages. This is intense work. I did this for three years straight every single day. I read a chapter, there's 365 different lessons and I did it with a study group. That's my Bible. By the way, the miracle, folks, everybody do you wanna know what the miracle is? The miracle is love. That's the miracle when we can shift our perspective from something negative to love. That's a miracle. That's what the course of miracle is like. It's basically my podcast, by the way, on Apple, Google and my website there's a link below to my podcast. It's called the what would love do podcast. How would love respond? What would love do? That's my religion. My religion is love, loving myself and others. And listen, there are bad people in the world. I try to love them too. I try to operate the way Jesus would. That's just kind of the way I think he would. I'm not, I have no fucking clue who he is. So I never met the man. But my guess is he operates from a place of love and that's what I try to do. That's my religion. So thank you so much for that. All right, I wanna thank Connie for the Super Sticker. This is your last chance to purchase the Super Sticker Super Chat. If I provided value today, please honor me with some resources for the scholarship fund. And this is gonna be our last question of the day. Deep diver, which female star sign you seem to be attracted often? What female star sign do you see? Oh, an astrological sign. By the way, I will tell you, I have the biggest crush on Kate Beckinsdale. Like, I mean, that's who I have a crush on a famous. Did you say famous? Yeah. Oh, female star. I was thinking famous, but I think, okay, so Scorpios are a blast. They have the best sex, but they can also be the nastiest women on the planet. Gemini's drive me nuts because they have a duality. They're very schizophrenic. By the way, I'm making this, I'm doing this for fun, okay? Taurus, they can be stubborn as hell. Pisces are a little too fluid. You know, they're like, oh, they're just too fluid. But as far as astrological sign, I've dated women, I went out with a woman with the exact same birth date as mine. Two Leos can work out. The problem is I got a pretty big personality. If someone's got a bigger personality than me, that might be problematic. I've been told Virgo and Libras and Aquarius are good for me, but I have no fucking clue. I will tell you this. My friend, Carol Allen, the astrologer, does runs reports for me anytime I want to check out if I'm a good fit for someone. So Carol Allen, A-L-L-E-N, Carol, C-A-R-O-L, check her out. She's a Vedic astrologer, so not the same as Western astrology. But I always get her feedback on who'd be right for me. And the truth is, I don't really care what sign someone is. Just so long as they're emotionally mature, our lifestyles are blendable. We share the same values and we wanna fuck each other's brains out on a regular basis. That's what I want. All right, I think this will be a great place to wrap up today. I wanna say thank you for all of you that were here. Vicki says, you're a riot. Thank you so much. Nicole says, Gemini have an eagle twin. Vivian is a Sagittarius. Kristen is a Gemini. What did, thanks for the super sticker, Logan. I really appreciate that. Nicole says, thank you for answering my question. Suzanne says, oh my God, what about an Aries? What about them? Hey everyone, I wanna thank you so much for allowing me to enter your in life today. Today is Friday. Go out and make it a great weekend. It's a holiday weekend. I hope you find love in your life. Most importantly, I hope you find the love within yourself first, because whether you are mated or not, what's most important is the relationship you have with yourself. I wanna thank you all for allowing me to share a little bit with you today. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic jot the barrow of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give itter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now, bye-bye.