 Chapter 62 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 1. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Martin Giesen. The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle. Volume 1. By Tobias Smollett. Chapter 62. The travellers depart for Antwerp, at which place the painter gives a loose to his enthusiasm. Our adventurer baffled in all his efforts to retrieve his lost Amanda, yielded at length to the remonstrances of his governor and fellow travellers, who out of pure complacence to him had exceeded their intended stay by six days at least, and a couple of post-shares with three riding horses being hired, they departed from Brussels in the morning, dined at Mellin, and arrived at eight in the evening at the venerable city of Antwerp. During this day's journey, Pallet was elevated to an uncommon flow of spirits, with the prospect of seeing the birthplace of Rubens, for whom he professed an enthusiastic admiration. He swore that the pleasure he felt was equal to that of a Muslim man on the last day of his pilgrimage to Mecca, and that he already considered himself a native of Antwerp, being so intimately acquainted with their so justly boasted citizen, from whom at certain junctures he could not help believing himself derived, because his own pencil adopted the manner of that great man with surprising facility, and his face wanted nothing but a pair of whiskers and a beard to exhibit the express image of the Fleming's countenance. He told him he was so proud of this resemblance, but in order to render it more striking, he had at one time of his life results to keep his face sacred from the razor, and in that purpose had persevered, notwithstanding the continual reprehensions of Mrs. Pallet, whom being then with child said his aspect was so hideous that she dreaded a miscarriage every hour, until she threatened in plain terms to dispute the sanity of his intellects and apply to the chancellor for a committee. The doctor on this occasion observed that a man who is not proof against the solicitations of a woman can never expect to make a great figure in life, that painters and poets ought to cultivate no wives but the muses, or if they are by the accidents of fortune encumbered with families, they should carefully guard against that pernicious weakness falsely honoured with the appellation of natural affection and pay no manner of regard to the impertinent customs of the world. Granting that you had been for a short time deemed a lunatic, said he, you might have acquitted yourself honourably of that imputation by some performance that would have raised your character above all censure. Sophocles himself, that celebrated tragic poet, who for the sweetness of his versification was styled Melita, or the bee in his old age, suffered the same accusation from his own children, who seeing him neglect his family affairs and devote himself entirely to poetry, carried him before the magistrate, as a man whose intellects were so much impaired by the infirmities of age that he was no longer fit to manage his domestic concerns. Upon which the reverend Bard produced his tragedy of Oedipus Epicolono, a work he had just finished, which being perused, instead of being declared unsound of understanding, he was dismissed with admiration and applause. I wish your beard and whiskers had been sanctioned by the like authority, though I am afraid he would have been in the predicament of those disciples of a certain philosopher who drank decoctions of Cummin seeds, that their faces might adopt the paleness of their master's complexion, hoping that in being as one they would be as learned as their teacher. The painter, stung by this sarcasm, replied, or like those virtuosi, who by repeating Greek, eating silly kikabai and pretending to see visions, think they equal the ancients in taste and genius. The physician retorted, pallet rejoined, and the altercation continued until they entered the gates of Antwerp, when the admirer of Rubens broke forth into a rapturous exclamation, which put an end to the dispute and attracted the notice of the inhabitants, many of whom, by shrugging up their shoulders and pointing to their foreheads, gave shrewd indications that they believed him a poor gentleman disordered in his brain. They had no sooner relighted at the inn than this pseudo-enthusiast had proposed to visit the great church in which he had been informed some of his master's pieces were to be seen, and was remarkably chagrined when he understood that he could not be admitted till next day. He rose next morning by daybreak and disturbed his fellow travellers in such a noisy and clamorous manner that Peregrine determined to punish him with some new inflection, and while he put on his clothes, he actually formed the plan of promoting a duel between him and the doctor, in the management of which he promised himself store of entertainment from the behaviour of both. Being provided with one of those domestics who were always in waiting to offer their services to strangers on their first arrival, they were conducted to the house of a gentleman who had an excellent collection of pictures, and though the greatest part of them were painted by his favourite artist, Pallet condemned them all by the lump, because Pickle had told him beforehand that there was not one performance of Rubens among the number. The next place they visited was what is called the Academy of Painting, furnished with a number of poultry pieces in which our painter recognised the style of Peter Paul with many expressions of admiration on the same sort of previous intelligence. From this repository they went to the great church, and being led to the tomb of Rubens, the whimsical painter fell upon his knees and worshipped with such appearance of devotion that the attendant, scandalised at his superstition, pulled him up, observing with great warmth that the person buried in that place was no saint, but as great a sinner as himself, and that if he was spiritually disposed, he had a chapel of the Blessed Virgin at the distance of three yards on the right hand to which he might retire. He thought it was incumbent upon him to manifest some extraordinary inspiration while he resided on the spot where Rubens was born, and therefore his whole behaviour was an affectation of rapture, expressed in distracted exclamations, confulsive starts, and uncoothed gesticulations. In the midst of this frantic behaviour he saw an old capuchin with a white beard mount the pulpit and hold forth to the congregation with such violence of emphasis and gesture as captivated his fancy, and bawling aloud, zooms what an excellent Paul preaching at Athens. He pulled a pencil and a small memorandum book from his pocket and began to take a sketch of the orator with great eagerness and agitation, saying, Igarde, friend, Raphael, we shall see whether you or I have got the best knack at trumping up an apostle. This appearance of disrespect gave offence to the audience who began to murmur against this heretic libertine. When one of the priests belonging to the choir, in order to prevent any ill consequence from their displeasure, came and told him in the French language that such liberties were not permitted in their religion, and advised him to lay aside his implements, as the people should take umbridge at his design and be provoked to punish him as a profane scoffer at their worship. The painter seeing himself addressed by a friar, who while he spoke bowed with great complacence, imagined that he was a begging brother come to supplicate his charity, and his attention being quite engrossed by the design he was making, he patted the priest's shaven crown with his hand, saying, Ott attempts, Ott attempts, and then resumed his pencil with great earnestness. The ecclesiastic perceiving that the stranger did not comprehend his meaning, pulled him by the sleeve, and explained himself in the Latin tongue, upon which pallet, provoked at his intrusion, cursed him aloud for an impudent, beggarly son of a whore, and taking out his shilling, flung it upon the pavement with manifest signs of indignation. Some of the common people enraged to see their religion contempt, and their priest insulted at the very altar, rose from their seats, and surrounding the astonished painter, one of the numbers snatched his book from his hand and tore it into a thousand pieces. Frightened as he was, he could not help crying fire and faggots. All my favourite ideas are gone to wreck, and was in danger of being very roughly handled by the crowd, had not Peregrine stepped in and assured them that he was a poor, unhappy gentleman who laboured under a transport of the brain. Those who understood the French language communicated this information to the rest, so that he escaped without any other chastisement than being obliged to retire. And as they could not see the famous descent from the cross till after the service was finished, they were conducted by their domestic to the house of a painter, where they found a beggar standing for his picture, and the artist actually employed in representing a huge louse that crawled upon his shoulder. Pallet was wonderfully pleased with this circumstance, which he said was altogether a new thought and an excellent hint of which he would make his advantage. And in the course of his survey of this Fleming's performances, perceiving a piece in which two flies were engaged upon the carcass of a dog half devoured, he ran to his brother, Brush, and swore he was worthy of being a fellow citizen of the immortal Rubens. He then lamented with many expressions of grief and resentment that he had lost his commonplace book in which he had preserved a thousand conceptions of the same sort, formed by the accidental objects of his senses and imagination, and took an opportunity of telling his fellow travellers that in execution he had equaled, if not excelled, the two ancient painters who had vied with each other in the representation of a curtain and a bunch of grapes, for he had exhibited the image of a certain object so like to nature that the bare sight of it sent a whole hog-stuy in an uproar. When he had examined and applauded all the productions of this minute artist, they returned to the great church and were entertained with the view of that celebrated masterpiece of Rubens, in which he had introduced the portraits of himself and his whole family. The doors that concealed this capital performance were no sooner unfolded than our enthusiast debarred the use of speech by a previous covenant with his friend Pickle, lifted up his hands and eyes and putting himself in the attitude of Hamlet when his father's ghost appears, adored in silent ecstasy and awe. He even made a merit of necessity and, when they had withdrawn from the place, he listed that his whole faculties were swallowed up in love and admiration. He now professed himself more than ever enamoured of the Flemish school, raved in extravagant encomiums and proposed that the whole company should pay homage to the memory of the divine Rubens by repairing forthwith to the house in which he lived and prostrating themselves on the floor of his painting-room. As there was nothing remarkable in the tenement which had been rebuilt more than once since the death of that great man, Peregrine excused himself from complying with the proposal on pretence of being fatigued with the circuit they had already performed. Jolter declined it for the same reason and, the question being put to the doctor, he refused his company with an air of disdain. Palet, peaked at his contemptuous manner, asked if he would not go and see the habitation of Pindor, provided he was in the city where that poet lived. And when the physician observed that there was an infinite difference between the men, that I'll allow, replied the painter, for the deviler poet ever lived in Greece or Troy that was worthy to clean the pencils of our beloved Rubens. The physician could not, with any degree of temper and forbearance, hear this outrageous blasphemy for which, he said, Palet's eyes ought to be picked out by owls and the dispute arose as usual to such scurrilities of language and indecency of behaviour that passengers began to take notice of their animosity and Peregrine was obliged to interpose for his own credit. End of chapter 62 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 63 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 63 Peregrine artfully foments a quarrel between Palet and the physician who fight a duel on the ramparts. The painter betook himself to the house of the Flemish Raphael and the rest of the company went back to their lodgings where the young gentleman, taking advantage of being alone with the physician recapitulated all the affronts he had sustained from the painter's petulance aggravating every circumstance of the disgrace and advising him in the capacity of a friend to take care of his honour which could not fail to suffer in the opinion of the world if he allowed himself to be insulted with impunity by one so much as inferior in every degree of consideration. The physician assured him that Palet had hitherto escaped chastisement by being deemed an object unworthy his resentment and in consideration of the wretched family for which his compassion was interested but that repeated injuries would inflame the most benevolent disposition and though he could find no precedent of dueling among the Greeks and Romans whom he considered as the patterns of demeanour Palet should no longer avail himself of his veneration for the ancients but be punished for the very next offence he should commit Having thus spirited up the doctor to a resolution from which he could not decently swerve our adventurer acted the incendiary with the other party also giving him to understand that the physician treated his character with such contempt and behaved to him with such insolence as no gentleman ought to bear that for his own party was every day put out of countenance by their mutual animosity which appeared in nothing but vulgar expressions more becoming shoe boys and oyster women than men of honour and education and therefore he should be obliged contrary to his inclination to break off all correspondence with them both if they would not fall upon some method to retrieve the dignity of their characters These representations would have had little effect upon the timidity of the painter who was likewise too much of a Grecian to approve of single combat in any other way than that of boxing an exercise in which he was well skilled had they not been accompanied with an insinuation that his antagonist was no hector and that he might humble him into any concession without running the least personal risk Animated by this assurance our second Ruben set the trumpet of defiance to his mouth swore he valued not his life a rush when his honour was concerned and in treated Mr Pickle to be the bearer of a challenge which he would instantly commit to writing The mischievous fomenta highly applauded this manifestation of courage by which he was at liberty to cultivate his friendship and society but declined the office of carrying the BA that his tenderness of pallets reputation might not be misinterpreted into an officious desire of promoting quarrels At the same time he recommended Tom Pipes not only as a very proper messenger on this occasion but also as a trusty second in the field The magnanimous painter took his advice and retiring to his chamber penned a challenge in these terms Sir when I am heartily provoked I fear not the devil himself much less I will not call you a pedantic coxcomb nor an unmanally fellow because these are the hypocrites of the vulgar but remember such as you are I neither love you nor fear you but on the contrary expect a satisfaction for your audacious behaviour to me on divers occasions and will this evening in the twilight meet you on the ramparts with sword and pistol where the Lord have mercy on the soul of one of us for your body shall find no favour with your incensed defy till death layman pallet this resolute defiance after having been submitted to the perusal and honored with the approbation of our youth was committed to the charge of Pipes who according to his orders delivered it in the afternoon and brought for answer that the physician would attend him at the appointed time and place the challenger was evidently discomposed at the unexpected news of this acceptance and ran about the house in great disorder in quest of peregrine to beg his further advice and assistance but understanding that the youth was engaged in private with his adversary he began to suspect some collusion and cursed himself for his folly and precipitation he even entertained some thoughts of retracting his invitation and submitting to the triumph of his antagonist but before he would stoop to this appropriate condescension he resolved to try another expedient which might be the means of saving both his character and person in this hope he visited Mr. Jolter and very gravely desired he would be so good as to undertake the office of his second in a duel which he was to fight that evening with the physician the governor instead of answering his expectation in expressing fear and concern and breaking forth into exclamations of good God gentlemen what do you mean you shall not murder one another while it is in my power to prevent your purpose I will go directly to the governor of the place who shall interpose his authority I say instead of these and other friendly menaces of prevention Jolter heard the proposal with the most flagmatic tranquility and excused himself from accepting the honour he intended for him on account of his character and situation which would not permit him to be concerned in any such encounters indeed this mortifying reception was owing to a previous hint from Peregrine who dreading some sort of interruption from his governor had made him acquainted with his design and assured him that the affair should not be brought to any dangerous issue thus disappointed the dejected challenger was overwhelmed with perplexity and dismay and in the terrors of death or mutilation resolved to deprecate the wrath of his enemy and conform to any submission he should propose when he was accidentally encountered by our adventurer who with demonstrations of infinite satisfaction told him in confidence that the beyer had thrown the doctor into an agony of consternation and his acceptance of his challenge was a mere effort of despair calculated to confound the ferocity of the sender and disposed him to listen to terms of accommodation but he had imparted the letter to him with fear and trembling on pretence of engaging him as a second but in reality with the view of obtaining his good offices in promoting a reconciliation but perceiving the situation of his mind, added our hero I thought it would be more for your honour to baffle his expectation and therefore I readily undertook the task of attending him to the field in full assurance that he will there humble himself before you even to prostration in this security you may go and prepare your arms and bespeak the assistance of pipes who will squire you in the field while I keep myself up that our correspondents may not be suspected by the physician pallets spirits that were sunk to dejection rose at this encouragement to all the insolence of triumph he again declared his contempt of danger and his pistols being loaded and accommodated with new flints by his trusty armor bearer he waited without flinching for the hour of battle on the first approach of twilight somebody knocked at his door and pipes having opened it at his desire he heard the voice of his antagonists pronounce tell Mr. Pallet that I'm going to the place of appointment the painter was not a little surprised at this anticipation which so ill agreed with the information he had received from Pickle and his concern beginning to recur he fortified himself with a large bumper of brandy which however did not overcome the anxiety of his thoughts nevertheless he set out on the expedition with his second betwixt whom and himself the following dialogue passed in their way to the ramparts Mr. Pipes said the painter with disordered accent he thinks the doctor was in a pestilent hurry with that message of his I I answered Tom I do suppose he longs to be foul of you what replied the other do you think he thirsts after my blood to be sure it does said Pipes thrusting a large quid of tobacco in his cheek with great deliberation if that be the case cried Pallet beginning to shake he is no better than a cannibal and no Christian ought to fight him on equal footing Tom observing his emotion I'd him with a frown of indignation saying you ain't afraid are you God forbid replied the challenger stammering with fear what should I be afraid of the worst he can do is to take my life and then he'll be answerable to God and man for the murder don't you think he will I think no such matter answered the second if so be as how he puts a brace of bullets through your bowels and kills you fairly it is no more murder than if I was to bring down a naddy from the main top sale yard by this time Pallet's teeth chatted with such violence that he could scarce pronounce this reply Mr. Thomas you seem to make very light of a man's life but I trust in the Almighty I shall not be so easily brought down sure many a man has fought a duel without losing his life to imagine that I run such a hazard of falling by the hand of my adversary you may or you may not said the unconcerned pipes just as it happens what then death is a debt that every man owes according to the song and if you set foot to foot I think one of you must go to part foot to foot exclaimed the terrified painter that's downright butchery and I'll be damned before I fight any man on earth in such a barbarous way what do you take me to be a savage beast this declaration he made while they ascended the ramparts his attendant perceiving the physician and his second at the distance of a hundred paces before them gave him notice of their appearance and advised him to make ready and behave like a man pallet in vain endeavoured to conceal his panic which discovered itself in a universal trepidation of body and the lamentable tone in which he answered this exhortation of pipes saying I do behave like a man but you would have me act the part of a brute are they coming this way when Tom told him that they had faced about and admonished him to advance the nerves of his arm refused their office he could not hold out his pistol and instead of going forward retreated with an insensibility of motion till pipes placing himself in the rear set his own back to that of his principal and swore he should not budge an inch farther in that direction while the valet thus tutored the painter his master enjoyed the terrors of the physician which were more ridiculous than those of pallet because he was more intent upon disguising them his declaration to pickle in the morning would not suffer him to start any objections when he received the challenge and finding that the young gentleman made no offer of mediating the affair but rather congratulated him on the occasion when he communicated the painter's be a all his efforts consisted in oblique hints and general reflections upon the absurdity of dueling which was first introduced among civilized nations by the barbarous Huns and Longobards he likewise pretended to ridicule the use of firearms which confounded all the distinctions of skill and address and deprived a combatant of the opportunity of signalizing his personal prowess Pickle assented to the justness of these observations but at the same time represented the necessity of complying with the customs of this world ridiculous as they were on which a man's honor and reputation depend so that seeing no hopes of profiting by that artifice the Republicans agitation became more and more remarkable and he proposed in plain terms that they should contend in armor like the combatants of ancient days for it was but reasonable that they should practice the manner of fighting since they adopted the disposition of those iron times nothing could have afforded more diversion to our hero than the sight of two such dualists cased in iron and he wished that he had promoted the quarrel in Brussels where he could have hired the armor of Charles V and the valiant Duke of Palmer for their accommodation but as there was no possibility of furnishing them capapie at Antwerp he persuaded him to conform to the modern use of the sword and meet the painter on his own terms and suspecting that his fear would supply him with other excuses for declining the combat he comforted him with some distant insinuations to the prejudice of his adversary's courage which would in all probability evaporate before any mischief could happen notwithstanding this encouragement he could not suppress the reluctance with which he went to the field and cast many a wishful look over his left shoulder to see whether or not his adversary was at his heels when by the advice of his second he took possession of the ground and turned about with his face to the enemy not so dark but that Peregrine could perceive the unusual paleness of his countenance and the sweat standing in large drops upon his forehead nay, there was a manifest disorder in his speech when he regretted his want of the Pila and Palmer with which he would have made a rattling noise to astonish his foe in springing forward and singing the hymn to battle in the manner of the ancients in the meantime observing the hesitation of his antagonist who far from advancing seemed to recoil and even struggle with his second he guessed the situation of the painter's thoughts and collecting all the manhood that he possessed seized the opportunity of profiting by his enemy's consternation striking his sword and pistol together he advanced in a sort of trot raising a loud howl in which he repeated in lieu of the Spartan song part of the strophe from one of Pindar's pithya beginning with ectheon gar machanai pasai brotei saritaes etc this imitation of the Greeks had all the desired effect upon the painter who seeing the physician running towards him like a fury with a pistol in his right hand which was extended and hearing the dreadful yell he uttered and the outlandish words he pronounced was seized with a universal palsy of his limbs he would have dropped down upon the ground had not pipes supported and encouraged him to stand upon his defence the doctor contrary to his expectation finding that he had not flinched from the spot though he had now performed one half of his career put in practice his last effort by firing his pistol the noise of which now sooner reached the ears of the affrighted painter and he recommended his soul to God and roared for mercy with great vociferation the republican overjoyed at this exclamation commanded him to yield and surrender his arms on pain of immediate death upon which he threw away his pistols and sword in spite of all the admonitions and even threats of his second who left him to his fate and went up to his master stopping his nose with signs of loathing and abhorrence the victor having won this spolia opima granted him his life on condition that he would on his knees supplicate his pardon acknowledge himself inferior to his conqueror in every virtue and qualification and promise for the future to merit his favour by submission and respect these insolent terms were readily embraced by the unfortunate challenger who fairly owned that he was not at all calculated for the purposes of war and that henceforth he would contend with no weapon but his pencil he begged with great humility that Mr. Pickle would not think the worse of his morals for this defect of courage which was a natural infirmity inherited from his father and suspend his opinion of his talents until he should have an opportunity of contemplating the charms of his Cleopatra which would be finished in less than three months our hero observed with an affected air of displeasure that no man could be justly condemned for being subject to the impressions of fear and therefore his cowardice might easily be forgiven but there was something so presumptuous, dishonest and disingenuous in arrogating equality to which he knew he had not the smallest pretension that he could not forget his misbehavior all at once though he would condescend to communicate with him as formerly in hopes of seeking a reformation in his conduct Pallet protested that there was no dissimulation in the case for he was ignorant of his own weakness until his resolution was put to the trial he faithfully promised to demean himself during the remaining part of the tour with that conscious modesty and penitence which became a person in his condition and for the present implored the assistance of Mr. Pipes in disembarrassing him from the disagreeable consequence of his fear End of Chapter 63 Recording by Martin Giesen in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 64 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Giesen The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 64 The Doctor exalts in his victory They set out for Rotterdam where they are entertained by two Dutch gentlemen in a yacht which is overturned in the maze to the manifest hazard of the painter's life They spend the evening with their entertainers and the next day visit a cabinet of curiosities Tom was accordingly ordered to administer to his occasions and the conqueror elated with his success which he in a great measure attributed to his manner of attack and the hymn which he howled told Peregrine that he was now convinced of the truth of what Pindas sung in these words Osa de me, perfile ke zeus, atuz don ty boan, pieridon ayon ta For he had no sooner begun to repeat the malefluent strains of that divine poet than the wretch his antagonist was confounded and his nerves unstrung On their return to the inn he expatiated on the prudence and tranquillity of his own behaviour and described the consternation of palette to the remembrance of some crime that lay heavy upon his conscience for in his opinion a man of virtue and common sense could not possibly be afraid of death which is not only the peaceful harbour that receives him shattered on the tempestuous sea of life but also the eternal seal of his fame and glory which it is no longer in his power to forfeit and forgo He lamented his fate in being doomed to live in such degenerate days when war has become a mercenary trade and ardently wished that the day would come when he should have such an opportunity of signalising his courage in the cause of liberty as that of marathon where a handful of Athenians fighting for their freedom defeated the whole strength of the Persian Empire Would to heaven said he my muse were blessed with an occasion to emulate that glorious testimony on the trophy in Cyprus erected by Simon for two great victories gained on the same day over the Persians by sea and land in which it is very remarkable that the greatness of the occasion has raised the manner of expression above the usual simplicity and modesty of all other ancient inscriptions He then repeated it with all the pomp of declamation and signified his hope that the French would one day invade us with such an army as that which Xerxes led into Greece that it might be in his power to devote himself like Leonidas to the freedom of his country This memorable combat being thus determined and everything that was remarkable in Antwerp surveyed they sent their baggage down the Schelt to Rotterdam and set out for the same place in a post wagon which that same evening brought them in safety to the banks of the maze They put up at an English house of entertainment remarkable for the modesty and moderation of the landlord and next morning the doctor went in person to deliver letters of recommendation to two Dutch gentlemen from one of his acquaintance at Paris Neither of them happened to be at home when he called so that he left a message at their lodgings and in the afternoon they waited upon the company and after many hospitable professions one of the two invited them to spend the evening at his house Meanwhile they had provided a pleasure yacht in which they proposed to treat them with an excursion upon the maze This being almost the only diversion that place affords our young gentlemen relished the proposal and notwithstanding the remonstrances of Mr. Jolter who declined the voyage on account of the roughness of the weather they went on board without hesitation and found a collation prepared in the cabin While they tacked to and fro in the river under the impulse of a mackerel breathe the physician expressed his satisfaction and pallet was ravished with the entertainment but the wind increasing to the unspeakable joy of the Dutchman an opportunity of showing their dexterity in the management of the vessel the guests found it inconvenient to stand upon deck and impossible to sit below on account of the clouds of tobacco smoke which rolled from the pipes of their entertainers in such volumes as annoyed them even to the hazard of suffocation This fumigation together with the extraordinary motion of the ship began to affect the head and stomach of the painter who begged earnestly to be set on shore but the Dutch gentleman who had no idea of his sufferings insisted with surprising obstinacy of regard upon his staying until he should see an instance of the skill of the mariners and bringing him on deck commanded the men to carry the vessel's Lee Gunnell under water this nicety of navigation they instantly performed to the admiration of Pickle the discomposure of the doctor and terror of pallet who blessed himself from the courtesy of a Dutchman and prayed to heaven for his deliverance while the Hollanders enjoyed the reputation of this feat and the distress of the painter at the same time the yacht was overtaken by a sudden squall that overset her in a moment and flung every man overboard into the maze before they could have the least warning of their fate much less time to provide against the accident Peregrine who was an expert swimmer reached the shore in safety the physician in Agonies of Despair laid fast hold upon the trunk britches of one of the men who dragged him to the other side the entertainers landed at the bomb keys smoking their pipes all the way with great deliberation and the poor painter must have gone to the bottom had he not been encountered by the cable of a ship that lay at anchor near the scene of their disaster though his senses had forsaken him his hands fastened by instinct on this providential occurrence which he held with such a convulsive grasp that when a boat was sent out to bring him on shore it was with the utmost difficulty that his fingers were disengaged he was carried into a house deprived of the use of speech and bereft of all sensation and being suspended by the heels a vast quantity of water ran out of his mouth this evacuation being made he began to utter dreadful groans which gradually increased to a continued roar and after he had regained the use of his senses he underwent a delirium that lasted several hours as for the treaters they never dreamed of expressing the least concern to Pickle or the physician for what had happened because it was an accident so common as to pass without notice leaving the care of their vessel to the seaman the company retired to their respective lodgings in order to shift their clothes and in the evening our travellers were conducted to the house of their new friend who with a view of making his invitation the more agreeable had assembled to the number of 20 or 30 Englishmen of all ranks and degrees from the merchant to the periwig maker's prentice in the midst of this congregation stood a chafing dish with live coals for the convenience of lighting their pipes and every individual was accommodated with a spitting box there was not a mouth in the apartment unfurnished with a tube so that they resembled a congregation of chimeras breathing fire and smoke and our gentlemen were feigned to imitate their example in their own defence it is not to be supposed that the conversation was either very sprightly or polite that the whole entertainment was of the Dutch caste frowsy and phlegmatic and our adventurers he returned to his lodging tortured with the headache and disgusted with every circumstance of his treatment cursed the hour in which the doctor had saddled them with such troublesome companions next morning by eight o'clock these polite hollanders returned the visit and after breakfast attended their English friends to the house of a person that possessed a very curious cabinet of curiosity to which they had secured our company's admission the owner of this collection was a cheese monger who received them in a woollen nightcap with straps buttoned under his chin as he understood no language but his own he told them by the canal of one of their conductors that he did not make a practice of showing his curiosities but understanding that they were Englishmen and recommended to his friends he was content to submit them to their perusal so saying he led them up a dark stair into a small room decorated with a few paltry figures in plaster of Paris two or three miserable landscapes the skins of an otter, seal and some fishes stuffed and in one corner stood a glass case furnished with newts, frogs, lizards and serpents preserved in spirits a human fetus a calf with two heads and about two dozen of butterflies pinned upon paper the virtuoso having exhibited these particulars eyed the strangers with a look soliciting admiration and applause and as he could not perceive any symptom of either in their gestures or countenances with a truer curtain and displayed a Wayne Scott's chest of drawers in which he gave them to understand was something that would agreeably amuse the imagination our travellers regaled with this notice imagined that they would be entertained with the sight of some curious medals or other productions of antiquity but how were they disappointed when they saw nothing but a variety of shells disposed in whimsical figures in each drawer after he had detained them full two hours with a tedious commentary upon the shape, size and colour of each department he with a supercilious simper desired that the English gentleman would frankly and candidly declare whether his cabinet or that of Mineir Sloan at London was the most valuable when this request was signified in English to the company the painter instantly exclaimed by the lard they are not to be named of a day and as for that matter I would not give one corner of Saltero's coffee house at Chelsea for all the trash he hath shown Peregrine unwilling to mortify any person who had done his endeavour to please him observed that what he had seen was very curious and entertaining but that no private collection in Europe was equal to that of Sir Hans Sloan which exclusive of presents had cost an hundred thousand pounds the two conductors were confounded at this asseveration which being communicated to the cheese monger he shook his head with a significant grin and though he did not choose to express his incredulity in words gave our hero to understand that he did not much depend upon his veracity from the house of this Dutch naturalist they were draggled all round the city by the painful civility of their attendants who did not quit them till the evening was well advanced and then not till after they had promised to be with them before ten o'clock the next day in order to conduct them to a country house situated in a pleasant village on the other side of the river Pickle was already so much fatigued with their hospitality that for the first time of his life he suffered an ejection of spirits and resolved at any rate to avoid the threatened persecution of tomorrow with this view he ordered his servants to pack up some clothes and linen in a portmanteau and in the morning embarked with his governor in the trek scout for the Hague whether he pretended to be called by some urgent occasion leaving his fellow travellers to make his apology to their friends and assuring them that he would not proceed for Amsterdam without their society he arrived at the Hague in the forenoon and dined as an ordinary frequented by officers and people of fashion where being informed that the princess would see company in the evening he dressed himself in a rich suit of the Parisian cut and went to court without any introduction a person of his appearance could not fail to attract the notice of such a small circle the prince himself, understanding he was an Englishman and a stranger went up to him without ceremony and having welcomed him to the place conversed with him for some minutes on the common topics of discourse End of Chapter 64 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 65 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 65 They proceed to the Hague from whence they depart for Amsterdam where they see a Dutch tragedy visit the music house in which Peregrine quarrels with the captain of a man of war They pass through Harlem in their way to Leiden return to Rotterdam where the company separates and our hero with his attendants arrive in safety at Harwich Being joined by their fellow travellers in the morning they made a tour to all the remarkable places in this celebrated village saw the foundry, the stathouse, the spinhouse, Vauxhall and Count Bentink's gardens and in the evening went to the French comedy which was directed by a noted harlequin who had found means to flatter the Dutch taste so effectually that they extolled him as the greatest actor that ever appeared in the province of Holland This famous company did not represent regular theatrical pieces but only a sort of impromptus in which the noted player always performed the greatest part of the entertainment Among other sallies of wit that escaped him there was one circumstance so remarkably adapted to the disposition and genius of his audience that it were a pity to pass it over in silence A windmill being exhibited on the scene harlequin after having surveyed it with curiosity and admiration asks one of the millers the use of that machine and being told that it was a windmill observes with some concern that as there was not the least breath of wind he could not have the pleasure of seeing it turn round Urged by this consideration he puts himself into the attitude of a person wrapped in profound meditation and having continued a few seconds in this posture runs to the miller with great eagerness and joy and telling him that he had found an expedient to make his mill work very fairly unbuttons his britches then presenting his posteriors to the sales of the machine certain explosions are immediately heard and the arms of the mill begin to turn round to the infinite satisfaction of the spectators who approve the joke with loud peals of applause Our travellers stayed a few days at the Hague during which the young gentleman waited on the British ambassador to whom he was recommended by his Excellency at Paris and lost about 30 guineas at billiards to a French adventurer who decoyed him into the snare by keeping up his game then they departed in a post wagon for Amsterdam being provided with letters of introduction to an English merchant residing in that city under whose auspices they visited everything worth seeing and among other excursions went to see a Dutch tragedy acted an entertainment which of all others had the strangest effect upon the organs of our hero the dress of their chief personages was so antique their manner so awkwardly absurd and their language so ridiculously unfit for conveying the sentiment of love and honour that Peregrine's nerves were diuretically affected with the complicated absurdity and he was compelled to withdraw 20 times before the catastrophe of the piece the subject of this performance was the famous story of Scipio's continents and virtue in restoring the fair captive to her lover the young Roman hero was represented by a broad-faced Batavian in a burgamaster's gown and a fur cap sitting smoking his pipe at a table furnished with a can of beer, a drinking glass of tobacco the lady was such a person as Scipio might well be supposed to give away without any great effort of generosity and indeed the Celtiberian prince seemed to be of that opinion for upon receiving her from the hand of the victor he discovered none of those transports of gratitude and joy which Livy describes in recounting this event the Dutch Scipio however was complacent enough in his way for he desired her to sit at his right hand by the appellation of Jafral and his own fingers filling a clean pipe presented it to Miner Aluccio the lover the rest of the economy of the piece was in the same taste which was so agreeable to the audience that they seemed to have shaken off their natural phlegm in order to applaud the performance from the play our company adjourned in the course of their friend where they spent the evening and the conversation turning upon poetry a Dutchman who was present and understood the English language having listened very attentively to the discourse lifted up with both hands the greatest part of the Cheshire cheese that lay upon the table saying I do know what is poetry mine broader be a great poet I brought a book as thick as old that Pickle diverted with this method of estimating an author according to the quantity of his works inquired about the subjects of this Bard's writings but of these his brother could give no account or other information but that there was little market for the commodity which hung heavy upon his hands and induced him to wish he had applied himself to another trade the only remarkable scene in Amsterdam which our company had not seen was the spowl or music houses which by the connivance of the magistrates are maintained for the recreation of those who might attempt the chastity of creditable women if they were not provided with such conveniences to one of these night houses did our travellers repair under the conduct of the English merchant and were introduced into such another place as the ever memorable coffee house of Moll King with this difference that the company here were not so riotous as the Bucks of Covent Garden that formed themselves into a circle within which some of the number danced to the music of a scurvy organ and a few other instruments that uttered tunes very suitable to the disposition of the hearers while the whole apartment was shrouded with clouds of smoke impervious to the view when our gentlemen entered the floor was occupied by two females and their galants who in the performance of their exercise lifted their legs like so many oxen at plough and the pipe of one of these hoppers happening to be exhausted in the midst of his sarabande he very deliberately drew forth his tobacco box filling and lighting it again without any interruption to the dance Peregrine being unchecked by the presence of his governor who was too tender of his own reputation to attend them in this expedition made up to a sprightly French girl who sat in seeming expectation of a customer and prevailing upon it to be his partner led her into the circle and in his turn took the opportunity of dancing a minuet to the admiration of all present he intended to have exhibited another specimen of his ability in this art when a captain of a Dutchman of war chanting to come in and seeing the stranger engaged with the lady whom it seems he had bespoke for his bedfellow he advanced without any ceremony and seizing her by the arm pulled her to the other side of the room our adventurer who was not a man to put up with such a brutal affront followed the ravisher with indignation in his eyes and pushing him on one side retook the subject of their contest and led her back to the place from which she had been dragged the Dutchman enraged at the youth's presumption obeyed the first dictates of his collar and lent his rival a hearty box on the ear which was immediately repaid with interest before our hero could recollect himself sufficiently to lay his hand upon his sword and beckon the aggressor to the door notwithstanding the confusion and disorder which this affair produced in the room and the endeavours of Pickle's company who interposed in order to prevent bloodshed the antagonists reached the street and Peregrine Drawing was surprised to see the captain advance against him with a long knife which he preferred to the sword that hung by his side the youth confounded at this preposterous behaviour desired him in the French tongue to lay aside that vulgar implement and approach like a gentleman but the Hollander who neither understood the proposal nor would have complied with this demand had he been made acquainted with his meaning rushed forward like a desperado before his adversary could put himself on his guard and if the young gentleman had not been endued with surprising agility his nose would have fallen a sacrifice to the fury of the assailant finding himself in such imminent jeopardy he leapt to one side and the Dutchman passing him in the force of his career he with one nimble kick made such application to his enemy's heels that he flew like lightning into the canal where he had almost perished by pitching upon one of the posts with which it is faced Peregrine having performed this exploit did not stay for the captain's coming on shore but retreated with all dispatch by the advice of his conductor and next day embarked with his companions in the scout for Harlem where they dined and in the evening arrived at the ancient city of Leiden where they met with some English students who treated them with great hospitality not but that the harmony of the conversation was that same night interrupted by a dispute that arose between one of those young gentlemen and the physician about the cold and hot methods of prescription in the gout and rheumatism and proceeded to such a degree of mutual reviling that Pickle, ashamed and incensed at his fellow traveller's want of urbanity espoused the other's cause and openly rebuked him for his unmanly patulence which he said rendered him unfit for the purposes and unworthy of the benefit of society this unexpected declaration overwhelmed the doctor with amazement and confusion he was instantaneously deprived of his speech and during the remaining part of the party sat in silent mortification in all probability he deliberated with himself whether or not he should expostulate with the young gentleman on the freedom he had taken with his character in a company of strangers but as he knew he had not a palette to deal with he very prudently suppressed that suggestion and in secret chewed the cud of resentment after they had visited the physics garden the university, the anatomical hall and every other thing that was recommended to their view they returned to Rotterdam and held a consultation upon the method of transporting themselves to England the doctor whose grudge against Peregrine was rather inflamed than allayed by our hero's indifference and neglect had tampered with the simplicity of the painter who was proud of his advances towards a perfect reconciliation and now took the opportunity of parting with our adventurer by declaring that he and his friend Mr. Pallet were resolved to take their passage in a trading sloop after he had heard Peregrine object against that tedious, disagreeable and uncertain method of conveyance Pickle immediately saw his intention and without using the least argument to dissuade them from their design or expecting the smallest degree of concern at their separation very coolly wished them a prosperous voyage and ordered his baggage to be sent to Helfurt's slough there he himself and his retinue went on board of the packet next day and by the favour of a fair wind in eighteen hours arrived at Harwich End of Chapter 65 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 66 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 66 Peregrine delivers his letters of recommendation at London and returns to the garrison to the unspeakable joy of the Commodore and his whole family Now that our hero found himself on English ground his heart dilated with the proud recollection of his own improvement since he left his native soil he began to recognise the interesting ideas of his tender years he enjoyed by anticipation the pleasure of seeing his friends in the garrison after an absence of 18 months and the image of his charming Emily which other less worthy considerations had depressed resumed the full possession of his breast he remembered with shame that he had neglected the correspondence with her brother which he himself had solicited and in consequence of which he had received a letter from that young gentleman while he lived at Paris in spite of these conscientious reflections he was too self-sufficient to think he should find any difficulty in obtaining forgiveness for such sins of omission and began to imagine that his passion would be prejudicial to the dignity of his situation if it should not be gratified upon terms which formally his imagination durst not conceive Sorry I am that the task I have undertaken lays me under the necessity of divulging this degeneracy in the sentiment of our imperious youth who was now in the heyday of his blood flushed with the consciousness of his own qualifications vain of his fortune and elated on the wings of imaginary expectation though he was deeply enamoured of Miss Gauntlet he was far from proposing her heart as the ultimate aim of his gallantry which he did not doubt would triumph over the most illustrious females of the land and at once regale his appetite and ambition Meanwhile being willing to make his appearance at the garrison equally surprising and agreeable he cautioned Mr Jolter against writing to the Commodore who had not heard of them since their departure from Paris and hired the post-chairs and horses for London The Governor going out to give orders about the carriage inadvertently left a paper book open upon the table and his pupil casting his eyes upon the page chanced to read these words September the 15th arrived in safety by the blessing of God in this unhappy kingdom of England and thus concludes the journal of my last Peregrination Peregrine's curiosity being inflamed by this extraordinary conclusion he turned to the beginning and perused several sheets of a diary such as is commonly kept by that class of people known by the denomination of travelling governess for the satisfaction of themselves and the parents or guardians of their pupils and for the edification and entertainment of their friends that the reader may have a clear idea of Mr Jolter's performance we shall transcribe the transactions of one day as he had recorded them and that abstract will be a sufficient specimen of the whole plan and execution of the work May the 3rd at 8 o'clock set out from Boulogne in a post-chief the morning hazy and cold fortified by stomach with a cordial recommended Ditto to Mr Peay as an antidote against the fog Mem, he refused it the hither horse greased in the off-paston of the hind leg arrived at Samair Mem, this last was a post-and-a-half i.e. three leagues or nine English miles the day clears up a fine champagne country well-stored with corn the postilian set his prayers in passing by a wooden crucifix upon the road Mem, the horse is staled in a small brook that runs in a bottom betwixt two hills arrived at Cormont a common post, a dispute with my pupil who is obstinate and swayed by an unlucky prejudice proceed to Montaille where we dine on choice pigeons a very moderate charge no chamber pot in the room owing to the negligence of the maid this is an ordinary post set out again for Nampont troubled with flatulences and indigestion Mr Peay's sullen and seems to mistake an erectation for the breaking of wind backwards from Nampont depart for Bernay at which place we arrive in the evening and propose to stay all night notabene the two last are double posts and are cattle very willing though not strong sapon a delicate ragout and excellent partridges in company with Mr H. and his spouse Mem, the said H. trod upon my corn by mistake discharged the bill which is not very reasonable dispute with Mr Peay about giving money to the servant he insists upon my giving a twenty-four Sol's piece which is too much by two-thirds in all conscience notabene she was a pert baggage and did not deserve a lia our hero is so much disabliged with certain circumstances of this amusing and instructing journal that by way of punishing the author he interlined these words betwixt to paragraphs in a manner that exactly resembled the tutor's handwriting Mem had the pleasure of drinking myself into a sweet intoxication by toasting our lawful king and his royal family among some worthy English fathers of the society of Jesus having taken this revenge he set out for London where he waited upon those noblemen to whom he had letters of recommendation from Paris and was not only graciously received but even loaded with caresses and proffers of service because they understood he was a young gentleman of fortune who far from standing in need of their countenance or assistance would make a useful and creditable addition to the number of their adherence he had the honour of dining at their tables in consequence of pressing invitations and of spending several evenings with the ladies to whom he was particularly agreeable on account of his person address and bleeding freely at play being thus initiated in the Beaumont he thought it was high time to pay his respects to his generous benefactor the Commodore and accordingly departed one morning with his train for the garrison at which he arrived in safety the same night when he entered the gate which was opened by a new servant that did not know him he found his old friend Hatchway stalking in the yard with a nightcap on his head and a pipe in his mouth and advancing to him talking by the hand before he had any intimation of his approach the lieutenant thus saluted by a stranger stared at him in silent astonishment till he recollected his features which were no sooner known than dashing his pipe upon the pavement he exclaimed, smite my cross trees, thou art welcome to port and hugged him in his arms with great affection he then by a cordial squeeze expressed his satisfaction at seeing his old shipmate Tom who applying his whistle to his mouth the whole castle echoed with his performance the servants hearing the well-known sound poured out in a tumult of joy and understanding that their young master was returned raised such appeal of acclamation as astonished the Commodore and his lady and inspired Julia with such an interesting crusage that her heart began to throb with violence running out in the hurry and perturbation of her hope she was so much overwhelmed at sight of her brother that she actually fainted in his arms but from this chance she soon awaked and Peregrine having testified his pleasure and affection went upstairs and presented himself before his godfather and aunt Mistress Trunnion rose and received him with a gracious embrace blessing God for his happy return from a land of impiety and vice in which she hoped his morals had not been corrupted nor his principles of religion altered or impaired the old gentleman being confined to his chair was struck dumb with pleasure at his appearance and having made Diver's ineffectual efforts to get up at length discharged a volley of curses against his own limbs and held out his hand to his godsen who kissed it with great respect after he had finished his apostrophe to the gout which was the daily and hourly subject of his execrations well my lad said he I care not how soon I go to the bottom now I behold thee safe in harbour again and yet I tell a damned lie I would I could keep afloat until I should see a lusty boy of thy begetting adds my timbers I love thee so well that I believe thou art the spawn of my own body though I can give no account of thy being put upon the starks then turning his eyes upon pipes who by this time had penetrated into his apartment and addressed him with the usual salutation of what cheer ah hey, cried he, are you there you harring-faced son of a sea calf what a slippery trick you played your old commander but come you dog there's my fest I forgive you for the love you bear to my godsen go man your tackle and hoist a cask of strong beer into the yard knock out the bung and put a pump in it for the use of all my servants and neighbours and you hear that the padareros be fired and the garrison illuminated as rejoicing for the safer rival of your master by the lord if I had the use of these damned shambling shanks I would dance a hone pipe with the best of you the next object of his attention was Mr Jolta who was honoured with particular marks of distinction and the repeated promise of enjoying the living in his gift as an acknowledgement of the care and discretion with which he had superintended the education and morals of our hero the governor was so affected by the generosity of his patron that the tears ran down his cheeks while he expressed his gratitude and the infinite satisfaction he felt in contemplating the accomplishments of his pupil meanwhile pipes did not neglect the orders he had received the beer was produced the gates were thrown open for the admission of all comers the whole house was lighted up and the padareros were discharged in repeated volleys such phenomena could not fail to attract the notice of the neighbourhood the club at Tunleys were astonished at the report of the guns which produced various conjectures among the members of that sagacious society the landlord observed that in all likelihood the Commodore was visited by harp garblins and ordered the guns to be fired in token of distress as he had acted twenty years before when he was annoyed by the same grievance the excise man with a waggish sneer expressed his apprehension of Trunnion's death in consequence of which the padareros might be discharged with an equivocal intent either as signals of his lady's sorrow or rejoicing the attorney signified a suspicion of hatchways being married to Miss Pickle and that the firing and illuminations were in honour of the nuptials upon which Gamaliel discovered some faint signs of emotion and taking the pipe from his mouth gave it as his opinion that his sister was brought to bed while they were thus bewildered in the maze of their own imaginations a company of countrymen who sat drinking in the kitchen and whose legs were more ready than their invention solid out to know the meaning of these exhibitions understanding that there was a butt of strong beer a brooch in the yard to which they were invited by the servants they saved themselves the trouble and expense of returning to spend the evening at the public house and listed themselves under the banner of Tom Pipes who presided as director of this festival the news of Peregrine's return being communicated to the parish the parson and three or four neighbouring gentlemen who were well-wishers to our hero immediately repaired to the garrison in order to pay their compliments on this happy event and were detained to supper an elegant entertainment was prepared by the direction of Miss Julia who was an excellent housewife and the Commodore was so invigorated with joy that he seemed to have renewed his age among those who honoured the occasion with their presence was Mr Clover the young gentleman that made his addresses to Peregrine's sister his heart was so big with his passion that while the rest of the company were engrossed by their cups he seized an opportunity of our heroes being detached from the conversation and in the impatience of his love conjured him to consent to his happiness protesting that he would comply with any terms of settlement that a man of his fortune could embrace in favour of a young lady who was absolute mistress of his affection our youth thanked him very politely for his favourable sentiments and honourable intention towards his sister and told him that at present he saw no reason to obstruct his desire that he would consult Julia's own inclinations and confer with him about the means of gratifying his wish but in the meantime begged to be excused from discussing any point of such importance to them both reminding him of the jovial purpose on which they were happily met he promoted such a quick circulation of the bottle that their mirth grew noisy and obstreperous they broke forth into repeated peels of laughter without any previous incitements except that of Claret these explosions were succeeded by bacchanalian songs in which the old gentleman himself attempted to bear a share the sedate governor snapped time with his fingers and the parish priest assisted in the chorus with the most expressive nakedness of countenance before midnight they were almost all pinned to their chairs as if they had been fixed by the power of enchantment and what rendered the confinement still more unfortunate every servant in the house was in the same situation so that they were feigned to take their repose as they sat and nodded at each other like a congregation of anabaptists next day Peregrine communed with his sister on the subject of her match with Mr Clover who she told him had offered to settle a jointure of 400 pounds and take her to wife without any expectation of a dowry she moreover gave him to understand that in his absence she had received several messages from her mother commanding her to return to her father's house but that she had refused to obey these orders by the advice and injunction of her aunt and the Commodore which were indeed seconded by her own inclination because she had all the reason in the world to believe that her mother only wanted an opportunity of treating her with severity and ranker the resentment of that lady had been carried to such indecent lengths that seeing her daughter at church one day she rose up before the parson entered and reviled her with great bitterness in the face of the whole congregation End of Chapter 66 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 67 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 67 Sees his sister happily married but it's Emilia who receives him according to his desserts Her brother, being of opinion that Mr Clovis proposal was not to be neglected especially as Julia's heart was engaged in his favour communicated the affair to his uncle who with the approbation of Mr Trunnion declared himself well satisfied with the young man's addresses and desired that they might be buckled with all expedition without the knowledge or concurrence of her parents to whom on account of their unnatural barbarity she was not bound to pay the least regard Though our adventurer entertained the same sentiments of the matter her mother dreading some obstruction earnestly begged the immediate condescension of his mistress she could not be prevailed upon to take such a material step without having first solicited the permission of her father resolved nevertheless to comply with the dictates of her own heart should his objections be frivolous or unjust Urged by this determination her admirer waited upon Mr Camaliel at the public house and with the appearance of great deference and respect made him acquainted with his affection for his daughter communicated the particulars of his fortune with the terms of settlement he was ready to make and in conclusion told him that he would marry her without apportion this last offer seemed to have some weight with the father who received it with civility and promised in a day or two to favour him with the final answer to his demand he accordingly that same evening consulted his wife who being exasperated at the prospect of her daughter's independence argued with the most virulent expostulation against the match as an impudent scheme of her own planning with a view of insulting her parents towards whom she had already been guilty of the most vicious disobedience in short she used such remonstrances as not only averted this weak husband's inclination from the proposal which he had relished before but even instigated him to apply for a warrant to apprehend his daughter on the supposition that she was about to bestow herself in marriage without his privity or consent the justice of the peace to whom this application was made though he could not refuse the order yet being no stranger to the malevolence of the mother which together with Gameliel's simplicity was notorious in the county he sent an intimation of what had happened to the garrison upon which a couple of sentinels were placed on the gate and at the pressing solicitation of the lover as well as the desire of the Commodore, her brother and aunt Julia was wedded without further delay the ceremony being performed by Mr. Jolter because the parish priest prudently declined any occasion of giving offence and the curate was too much in the interest of their enemies to be employed in that office this domestic concern being settled to the satisfaction of our hero he escorted her next day to the house of her husband who immediately wrote a letter to her father declaring his reasons for having thus superseded his authority and Mistress Pickle's mortification was unspeakable that the new married couple might be guarded against all insult our young gentleman and his friend Hatchway with their adherence lodged in Mr. Clover's house for some weeks during which they visited their acquaintance in the neighbourhood according to custom when the tranquility of their family was perfectly established and the contract of the marriage executed in the presence of the old Commodore and his lady who gave her niece £500 to purchase jewels and clothes Mr. Peregrine could no longer restrain his impatience to see his dear Emily and told his uncle that next day he proposed to ride across the country in order to visit his friend Gauntlet whom he had not heard of for a long time the old gentleman looking steadfastly in his face ah damn your cunning said he I find the anchor holds fast I did suppose as how you would have slipped your cable and changed your berth but I see when a young fellow is once brought up by a pretty wench he may man his captains and vile block if he will but he'll as soon heave up the pike of tenor reefy as bring his anchor away ah heart likens had I known the young woman was Ned Gauntlet's daughter I shouldn't have thrown out signal for leaving off chase our adventurer was not a little surprised to hear the Commodore talk in this style and immediately conjectured that his friend Godfrey had informed him of the whole affair instead of listening to this approbation of his flame with those transports of joy which he would have felt had he retained his former sentiments he was chagrined at Trunnion's declaration and offended at the presumption of the young soldier in presuming to disclose the secret with which he had entrusted him reddening with these reflections he assured the Commodore that he never had serious thoughts of matrimony so that if any person had told him that he was under any engagement of that kind he had abused his ear and he protested that he would never contract such attachments without his knowledge and express permission Trunnion commended him for his prudent resolution and observed that though no person mentioned to him what promises had passed betwixt him and his sweetheart it was very plain that he had made love to her and therefore it was to be supposed that his intentions were honourable for he could not believe he was such a rogue in his heart and ever to debauch the daughter of a brave officer who had served his country with credit and reputation notwithstanding this remonstrance which Pickle imputed to the Commodore's ignorance of the world he set out for the habitation of Mistress Gauntlet with the unjustifiable sentiments of a man of pleasure who sacrifices every consideration to the desire of his ruling appetite and as Winchester lay in his way resolved to visit some of his friends who lived in that place it was in the house of one of these that he was informed of Emilia's being then in town with her mother upon which he excused himself from staying to drink tea and immediately repaired to their lodgings according to the directions he had received when he arrived at the door instead of undergoing that perturbation of spirits the lover in his interesting situation might be supposed to feel he suffered no emotion but that of vanity and pride favoured with an opportunity of self-gratification and entered his Emilia's apartment with the air of a conceited petit metre rather than that of a respectable admirer when he visits the object of his passion after an absence of seventeen months the young lady having been very much disobliged at his mortifying neglect of her brother's letter had summoned all her own pride and resolution to her aid and by means of a happy disposition so far overcame her chagrin at his indifference that she was able to behave in his presence with apparent tranquility and ease she was even pleased to find that he had by accident chosen a time for his visit when she was surrounded by two or three young gentlemen who professed themselves her admirers our galante was no sooner announced than she collected all her coquetry put on the gayest air she could assume and contrived to giggle just as he appeared at the rum door the compliments of salutation being performed she welcomed him to England in a careless manner asking the news of Paris and before he could make any reply desired one of the other gentlemen to proceed with the sequel of that comical adventure in the relation of which he had been interrupted Peregrine smiled within himself at this behaviour which without all doubt he believed she had affected to punish him for his unkind silence while he was abroad being fully persuaded that her heart was absolutely at his devotion on this supposition he practised his Parisian improvements on the art of conversation and uttered a thousand prettinesses in the way of compliment with such incredible rotation of tongue that his rivals were struck dumb with astonishment and Emilia fretted out of all temper at seeing herself deprived of the prerogative of the sex he persisted however in this surprising locality until the rest of the company thought proper to withdraw and then contracted his discourse into the focus of love which now put on a very different appearance from that which he had formally worn instead of awful veneration which her presence used to inspire that chastity of sentiment and delicacy of expression he now gazed upon her with the eyes of a libertine he glowed with the impatience of desire talked in a strain that barely kept within the bounds of decency and attempted to snatch such favours as she in the tenderness of mutual acknowledgments had once vouchsafed to bestow grieved and offended as she was at this palpable alteration in his carriage she disdained to remind him of his former deportment and with dissembled good humour rallied him on the progress he had made in gallantry and address but far from submitting to the liberties he would have taken she kept her person sacred from his touch and would not even suffer him to ravish a kiss of her fair hand so that he reaped no other advantage from the exercise of his talents during this interview which lasted a whole hour than that of knowing he had overrated his own importance and that Emily's heart was not to garrison likely to surrender at discretion at length his addresses were interrupted by the arrival of the mother who had gone abroad to visit by herself and the conversation becoming more general he understood that Godfrey was at London soliciting for a left tenancy that had fallen vacant in the regiment to which he belonged and that Miss Sophie was at home with her father though our adventurer had not met with all the success he expected by his first visit he did not despair of reducing the fortress believing that in time there would be a mutiny in his favour and accordingly carried on the siege for several days without profiting by his perseverance till at length having attended the ladies to their own house in the country he began to look upon this adventure as time misspent and resolved to discontinue his attack in hopes of meeting with a more favourable occasion being in the meantime ambitious of displaying in a higher sphere those qualifications which his vanity told him were at present misapplied End of Chapter 67 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 68 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Vol. 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geeson The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Vol. 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 68 He attends his uncle with great affection during a fit of illness sets out again for London meets with his friend Godfrey who is prevailed upon to accompany him to Bath on the road to which place they chance to dine with the person who entertains them with a curious account of a certain company of adventurers thus determined he took leave of Emilia and her mother on pretense of going to London upon some urgent business and returned to the garrison leaving the good old lady very much concerned and the daughter incensed at his behaviour which was the more unexpected because Godfrey had told them that the Commodore approved of his nephew's passion Our adventurer found his uncle so ill of the gout which for the first time had taken possession of his stomach but his life was in imminent danger and the whole family in disorder he therefore took the reins of government in his own hands sent for all the physicians in the neighbourhood and attended him in person with the most affectionate care during the whole fit which lasted a fortnight and then retired before the strength of his constitution When the old gentleman recovered his health he was so penetrated with Peregrine's behaviour that he actually would have made over to him his whole fortune and depended upon him for his own subsistence had not our youth opposed the execution of the deed with all his influence and might and even persuaded him to make a will in which his friend Hatchway and all his other adherents were liberally remembered and his aunt provided for on her own terms This material point being settled he with his uncle's permission departed for London after having seen the family affairs established under the direction and administration of Mr Jolter and the Lieutenant for by this time, Mistress Trunnion was wholly occupied with her spiritual concern On his first arrival at London he sent a card to the lodgings of Gauntlet in consequence of a direction from his mother and that young gentleman waited on him next morning though not without a lackity of countenance and warmth of friendship which might have been expected from the intimacy of their former connection nor was Peregrine himself actuated by the same unreserved affection for the soldier which he had formally entertained Godfrey over and above the offence he had taken at Pickles' omission in point of corresponding with him had been informed by a letter from his mother of the youth's cavalier behaviour to Emilia during his last residence at Winchester and our young gentleman as we have already observed was disgusted of the supposed discovery which the soldier had made in his absence to the Commodore they perceived their mutual umbrage at meeting and received each other with that civility of reserve which commonly happens between two persons whose friendship is in the wane Gauntlet at once divined the cause of the other's displeasure and in order to vindicate his own character after the first compliments were passed took the opportunity on inquiring after the health of the Commodore to tell Peregrine that while he tarried at the garrison on his return from Dover the subject of the conversation one night happening to turn on our hero's passion the old gentleman had expressed his concern about that affair and among other observations he supposed the object of his love was some poultry hussy whom he had picked up when he was a boy at school upon which Mr Hatchway assured him that she was a young woman of as good a family as any in the county and after having pre-possessed him in her favour ventured out of the zeal of his friendship to tell who she was wherefore the discovery was not to be imputed to any other cause and he hoped Mr Pickle would acquit him of all share in the transaction Peregrine was very well pleased to be thus undeceived his countenance immediately cleared up the formality of his behaviour relaxed into his usual familiarity he asked pardon for his unmanly neglect of Godfrey's letter which he protested was not owing to any disregard or abatement of friendship but to a hurry of youthful engagements in consequence of which he had procrastinated his answer from time to time until he was ready to return in person the young soldier was contented with this apology and as Pickle's intention with respect to his sister was still dubious and undeclared he did not think it was incumbent upon him as yet to express any resentment on that score but it was wise enough to foresee that the renewal of his intimacy with our young gentleman might be the means of reviving that flame which had been dissipated by a variety of new ideas with those sentiments he laid aside all reserve and their communication resumed its former channel Peregrine made him acquainted with all the adventures in which he had been engaged since their parting and he with the same confidence related the remarkable incidents of his own fate among other things giving him to understand that upon obtaining a commission in the army the father of his dear Sophie without once inquiring about the occasion of his promotion had not only favoured him with his countenance in a much greater degree than here to fore but also contributed his interest and even promised the assistance of his purse in procuring for him a left tenancy which he was then soliciting with all his power whereas if he had not been enabled by a most accidental piece of good fortune to lift himself into the sphere of an officer he had all the reason in the world to believe that this gentleman and all the rest of his wealthy relations would have suffered him to languish in obscurity and distress and by turning his misfortune into reproach made it a plea for their want of generosity and friendship Peregrine, understanding the situation of his friend's affairs would have accommodated him upon the instant with a sum to accelerate the passage of his commission through the offices but being too well acquainted with his scrupulous disposition to manifest his benevolence in that manner he found means to introduce himself to one of the gentlemen of the war office who was so well satisfied with the arguments used in behalf of his friend that Godfrey's business was transacted in a very few days though he himself knew nothing of his interest being thus reinforced by this time the season at Bath was begun and our hero panting with the desire of distinguishing himself at that resort of the fashionable world communicated his design of going thither to his friend Godfrey whom he impotuned to accompany him in the excursion and leave of absence from his regiment being obtained by the influence of Peregrine's new quality friends the two companions departed from London in a post-share attended as usual by the valet de chambre and pipes who have become almost as necessary to our adventurer as any two of his own organs at the inn when they alighted for dinner Godfrey perceived a person walking by himself in the yard in very pensive air and upon observing him more narrowly recognised him to be a professed gamester whom he had formally known at Tunbridge on the strength of this acquaintance he accosted the peripatetic who knew him immediately and in the fullness of his grief and vexation told him that he was now on his return from Bath where he had been strict by a company of sharpers who resented that he should presume to trade upon his own bottom Peregrine who was extremely curious in his enquiries imagining that he might learn some entertaining and useful anecdotes from this artist invited him to dinner and was accordingly fully informed of all the political systems at Bath he understood that there was at London one great company of adventurers who employed agents in all the different branches of imposition throughout the whole Kingdom of England allowing these ministers a certain proportion of the profits accruing from their industry and skill and reserving the greatest share for the benefit of the common stock which was chargeable with the expense of fitting out individuals in their various pursuits as well as with the loss sustained in the course of their adventures some whose persons and qualifications are by the company judged adequate to the task exert their talents in making love to ladies of fortune being accommodated with money and accoutements for that purpose after having given their bonds payable to one or other of the directors on the day of marriage for certain sums proportioned to the dowries they are to receive others versed in the doctrine of chances and certain secret expediences frequent all those places where games of hazard are allowed and such as our masters in the arts of billiards tennis and bowls are continually lying in wait in all the scenes of these diversions for the ignorant and unwary a fourth class attend horse races being skilled in those mysterious practices by which the knowing ones are taken in nor is this community unfurnished with those who lay wanton wives and old rich widows under contribution and extort money by prostituting themselves to the embraces of their own sex and then threatening their admirers with prosecution but their most important returns are made by that body of their undertakers who exercise their understandings in the innumerable stratagems of the card table at which no sharper can be too infamous to be received and even caressed by persons of the highest rank and distinction among other articles of intelligence a young gentleman learned that those agents by whom their guest was broke and expelled from bath had constituted a bank against all sporters and monopolized the advantage in all sorts of play he then told Gauntlet that if he would put himself under his direction he would return with them and lay such a scheme as would infallibly ruin the whole society at billiards as he knew that Godfrey excelled them all in his knowledge of that game the soldier excused himself from engaging in any party of that kind and after dinner the travellers parted but as the conversation between the two friends turned upon the information they had received Peregrine projected a plan for punishing those villainous pests of society who prey upon their fellow creatures and it was put in execution by Gauntlet in the following manner End of Chapter 68 Recording by Martin Geithen in Hazelmere Surrey Chapter 69 of the Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Martin Geithen The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle Volume 1 by Tobias Smollett Chapter 69 Godfrey executes a scheme at Bath by which a whole company of sharpers is ruined On the evening after their arrival at Bath Godfrey who had kept himself up all day for that purpose went in boots to the billiard table and two gentlemen being at play began to bet with so little appearance of judgement that one of the adventurers then present was inflamed with the desire of profiting by his inexperience and when the table was vacant invited him to take a game for amusement The soldier, assuming the heir of a self-conceited dupe answered that he did not choose to throw away his time for nothing but if he pleased would pitle for a crown a game This declaration was very agreeable to the other who wanted to be further confirmed in the opinion he had conceived of the stranger before he would play for anything of consequence The party being accepted Gauntlet put off his coat and beginning with seeming eagerness won the first game because his antagonist kept up his play with a view of encouraging him to wager a greater sum The soldier purposely bit at the hook the stakes were doubled and he was again victorious by the permission of his competitor He now began to yawn and observing that it was not worth his while to proceed in such a childish manner the other swore in an affected passion that he would play him for twenty guineas The proposal being embraced through the connivance of Godfrey the money was won by the sharper who exerted his dexterity to the utmost fearing that otherwise his adversary would decline continuing the game Godfrey thus conquered pretended to lose his temper cursed his own ill luck swore that the table had a cast and that the balls did not run true changed his mast and with great warmth challenged his enemy to double the sum The gamester who feigned reluctance complied with his desire and having got the first two hazards offered to lay one hundred guineas to fifty on the game The odds were taken and Godfrey having allowed himself to be overcome began to rage with great violence broke the mast to pieces threw the balls out of the window and in the fury of his indignation defied his antagonist to meet him tomorrow when he should be refreshed from the fatigue of travelling this was a very welcome invitation to the gamester who imagining that the soldier would turn out a most beneficial prize assured him that he would not fail to be there next fornoon in order to give him his revenge Gauntlet went home to his lodgings fully certified of his own superiority and took his measures with peregrine touching the prosecution of their scheme while his opponent made a report of his success to the brethren of the gang who resolved to be present at the decision of the match with a view of taking advantage of the stranger's passionate disposition affairs being thus concerted on both sides the players met according to appointment and the room was immediately filled with spectators who either came there by accident, curiosity or design the match was fixed for one hundred pounds a game the principals chose their instruments and laid aside their coats and one of the knights of the order profited to lay another hundred on the head of his associate Godfrey took him up upon the instant a second worthy of the same class, seeing him so eager challenged him to treble the sum and his proposal met with the same reception to the astonishment of the company whose expectation was raised to a very interesting pitch the game was begun and the soldier having lost the first hazard the odds were offered by the confederacy with great vociferation but nobody would run such a risk in favour of a person who was utterly unknown the sharper having gained the second also the noise increased to a surprising clamour not only of the gang but likewise of almost all the spectators who desired to lay two to one against the brother of Emilia Peregrine who was present perceiving the cupidity of the association sufficiently inflamed all of a sudden opened his mouth and answered their bets to the amount of twelve hundred pounds which were immediately deposited on both sides in money and notes so that this was perhaps the most important game that ever was played at billiards Gauntlet seeing the agreement settled struck his antagonists ball into the pocket in a twinkling though it was in one of those situations which are supposed to be against the striker the bettas were a little discomposed at this event for which however they consoled themselves by imputing the success to accident but when at the very next stroke he sprung it over the table their countenance is underwent an instantaneous distraction of feature and they waited in the most dreadful suspense for the next hazard which being likewise taken with infinities by the soldier the blood for suck their cheeks and the interjections soon pronounced with a look of consternation and in a tone of despair proceeded from every mouth at the same instant of time they were overwhelmed with horror and astonishment at seeing three hazards taken in as many strokes from a person of their friend's dexterity and shrewdly suspected that the whole was a scheme pre-concerted for their destruction on this supposition they changed the note and attempted to hedge for their own indemnification by proposing to lay the odds in favour of Gauntlet but so much was the opinion of the company altered by that young gentleman's success that no one would venture to espouse the cause of his competitor who, chanceing to improve his game by the addition of another lucky hit diminished the concern and revived the hopes of his adherence but this gleam of fortune did not long continue Godfrey collected his whole art and capacity and augmenting his score to number 10 indulged himself with a view of the whole fraternity the visages of these professors had adopted different shades of complexion at every hazard he had taken on their natural colour they had shifted into a sallow hue from thence into pale from pale into yellow which degenerated into a mahogany tint and now they saw 1700 pounds of their stock depending upon a single stroke they stood like so many swarthy moors jaundiced with terror and vexation the fire which naturally glowed in the cheeks and nose of the player seemed utterly extinct and his carbuncles exhibited a livid appearance as if a gangrene had already made some progress in his face his hand began to shake and his whole frame was seized with such trepidation that he was feigned to swallow a bumper of brandy in order to re-establish the tranquility of his nerves this expedient however did not produce the desired effect for he aimed the ball at the lead with such discomposure that it struck on the wrong side and came off at an angle which directed it fall into the middle hole this fatal accident was attended with a universal groan as if the whole universe had gone to wreck and notwithstanding that tranquility for which adventurers are so remarkable this loss made such an impression upon them all that each in particular manifested his chagrin by the most violent emotions one turned up his eyes to heaven and bit his nether lip another gnawed his fingers while he stalked across the room a third blasphemed with horrid implications and he who played the party sneaked off grinding his teeth together with a look that baffles all description and as he crossed the threshold exclaiming a damned bite by God the victors after having insulted them by asking if they were disposed for another chance carried off their winning with the appearance of great composure though in their hearts they were transported with unspeakable joy not so much on account of the booty they had gained as in consideration of having so effectively destroyed such a nest of pernicious miscreants Peregrine believing that now he had found an opportunity of serving his friend without giving offence to the delicacy of his honour told him upon their arrival at their lodgings that fortune had at length enabled him to become in a manner independent or at least make himself easy in his circumstances by purchasing a company with the money he had won so saying he put his share of the success in Gauntlet's hand as at some that have right belonged to him and promised to write in his behalf to a nobleman who had interest enough to promote such a quick rise in the service Godfrey thanked him for his obliging intention but absolutely refused with great loftiness of demeanour to appropriate to his own use any part of the money which Pickle had gained and seemed affronted at the others entertaining a sentiment so unworthy of his character he would not even accept in the way of Lone which in addition to his own stock as would amount to the price of a company of thought but expressed great confidence in the future exertion of that talent which had been blessed with such a prosperous beginning our hero finding him thus obstinately deaf to the voice of his own interest resolved to govern himself in his next endeavours of friendship by his experience of this ticklish punctilio in the meantime gave a handsome benefaction to the hospital out of these first fruits of the success in play and reserved two hundred pounds for a set of diamond earrings and solitaire which he intended for a present to Miss Emily End of Chapter 69 Recording by Martin Geeson in Hazelmere Surrey