 Hello, my name is Chris and I'm a recovering nice guy. What is up, everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you improve your mental and emotional well-being. And a lot of that has to do with relationships. And that's what I'm talking about today. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe. Click the little notification bell because I make a ton of videos. So I know I've been talking about YouTubers and stuff lately, but like this is kind of like about a YouTuber. I want to talk about nice guys. I used to be a nice guy. So to give you a little backstory, if you don't know about nice guys, I highly recommend checking out a channel that my girlfriend turned me on to. It's called Sorrow TV. And this guy goes through different subreddits and stuff and does a bunch of funny voices and he sings. And it's absolutely hilarious. I'm nice to you. Why won't you show me your boobies? All girls are the same. Us nice guys never get a chance. You're all chasing chair. One of the playlists he has is a subreddit called nice guys. And like when I watch it, I laugh and I cringe. I'm like, oh, my God, that used to be me. So I'm making this video for a couple of reasons, and I'm going to make more videos on this. So a few reasons I'm making this, OK? The first one, men, all of you men out there, we got to be better. We got to be better people. And a lot of us, you know, especially younger guys, like we're delusional. OK, so I hope that I can teach you a few things. The reason number two, women, women, you deserve better. Keep on the lookout for nice guys. Don't put up with their BS. They'll get over it. They'll figure things out. OK. Third and foremost, like I hope with my channel to show how somebody can grow, someone can improve. So for a variety of reasons. So be sure to share my videos and show people that they can change that they can improve. And this isn't for you to sit around waiting for somebody to change. Because it takes a lot of work. Most of my videos, when I sit there talking to you and telling you things to do, it's because I've done it, because I've been through it. I used to be a terrible, terrible, terrible person. Not only was I terrible in relationships, I was also a drug addict. I was an alcoholic. I had anger issues. I had all sorts of stuff, right? But now I'm in this great place today. And I'm just completely different than I used to be. All right. But it takes work. It takes effort. And the first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging that there is a problem. So so for those of you who don't know what nice guys are, OK, it's this thing on the Internet. And I'm like, oh, my God, this was me. And thank God it read it. It didn't exist. So a few examples of nice guys. There's somebody who will approach a woman and they're like, but I'm such I'm such a nice guy. I'm so nice and this and this or they'll say very sweet things and all that kind of stuff. And then when the woman turns that down, they snap. OK. So one example is they snap. They get mad. They'll call them names and things like that. So me personally, I didn't do that. OK. But I would talk to my friends about it and say, like, I don't get it. I don't get it. I'm such a nice guy. Why do these women not want a nice guy? So the first thing I'll talk about in my confessions of a nice guy to just help you get into the brain of a nice guy was I saw over and over and over again, women that I knew, you know, back in high school, you know, even in my 20s, I saw women who kept dating terrible guys, right? They would cheat on them. They would emotionally or verbally abuse them and things like that. I'm like, but I would never do that. I would never do that. And like there's this weird kind of entitlement that comes along with that like somewhere in the brain of nice guys. They think that just because you're not doing these terrible things that this woman should date you. And first and foremost, like you're setting a real low bar. Like, hey, you should date me. I'm not verbally abusive. Like what? What about your hobbies, your interests, your goals, your passions? Like things that you have in common, you know, are they physically attracted to you? Like there's more to dating than just like, oh, well, I never hit a woman. So you should date me like say your bar a little bit higher than that. And women, same thing. Like if you're getting out of a terrible relationship, raise your bar. Like, don't set your bar as low as the last jerk you dated. Raise it higher because for nice guys, right? That's what we look for. We're like, OK, the bar isn't too high, right? But the thing is, is that these nice guys, when they snap, they show their real colors, right? And this is because they're they're putting on this facade a long time ago. I made a lot of you haven't even seen this. I made a video about Aziz and Sorry during the Me Too movement. A lot of people got my video twisted, but I wasn't calling Aziz and Sorry out for any kind of mis like any kind of like, you know, illegal behavior. But I was calling him out for being a nice guy, right? I talked about him as a wolf in sheep's clothing. Nice guys are very good at pretending like they're good and well intentioned and stuff like that. But what really they're doing is they're putting on a show so they can get what they want, right? This is how a lot of women or even men, I guess, sometimes they get tricked into abusive relationships, not even physically abusive, but verbally and emotionally abusive. They get tricked because some people are good at keeping themselves together during that whole courting phase. Then you get stuck in a relationship with them and their true colors show. All right. But these other nice guys, what they do is they always they're posting and they're they're posting and boasting and they they have this self-pity party like, I don't get why I can't find a woman. I'm such a nice guy. I don't get it. And usually it's this whole like friend zone and you know, all sorts of stuff and they're seeing some girl that they're longing for dating these idiots and stuff like that. But like, again, it goes back to like just because you're nice, like it doesn't give you the right to have that woman, right? And like, and that's the other thing like women aren't a piece of property. And I really hope in this video, I'm not coming off as like this white night. It's just like I've learned. I've learned from so many mistakes and a lot of it came through self-evaluation and realizing this stuff. Like so for for example, I used to get so butthurt like and a lot of it was because of my emotions, I would get very strongly like emotionally attached to somebody and all I could do is focus on them. I need this one specific woman, right? And like, here's the reality of the situation. I had to ask myself, am I attracted to every single woman I meet? No, right? So how why do I expect every woman I meet to be attracted to me? Maybe they're not into my type. Maybe they're not into chunky bearded guys. I don't know what it is. Maybe they're not into guys with my kind of voice. Maybe they're looking for, you know, whatever, right? Like I have to like that's that's where empathy comes in. You know what I'm saying? Like maybe they're just not into my type. I have a type. Is it crazy that they don't have a type? But the other thing is too, and this is a lot about mental health as well. And people who have emotional attachment issues is we often forget. And this for any of you single folk out there who are afraid of being alone or you get hyper focused on somebody and they don't reciprocate your feelings. Like always remember, always remember, there are 7.6 billion people on this planet. OK, half of which are of, you know, the gender that you want to date. Quit focusing on one person because when you focus on that one person who broke your heart or doesn't reciprocate your feelings, you are closing yourself off to the rest of the world. And that's what I was doing. I was hyper focusing on things that I couldn't get, things that I couldn't have, you see what I'm saying? So like we really need to like, man, we need to start becoming better and identifying these things, you know? So like the last thing I'll talk about is this thing called self seeking. So I had this delusion in my brain that I was such a nice guy, I was such a great guy, but self seeking is doing things, expecting something in return. So for example, right, I would ask you to grow out on date. For some reason she would say yes, because back in the day I was a hot mess and she would say yes and I would go and I would like pick her up at her house and I'd like walk her to the car and I'd open the door for her. And then I would take her to an expensive restaurant, one that's way out of my budget. And I'm like, you know, we go and we sit down and I pull her chair out for her. And, you know, we start to have a meal and I'm complimenting her. I'm like, girl, you look good tonight. And she's like, thanks, you know, and she's all loving it and stuff. And I'm just nice and I'm complimenting her. I'm telling her she's smart and she's witty and she's funny and all these other things. And then we leave the restaurant and I drive her back home and I open the door for her and I walk her up to her door and then she opens up her door and she's like, thanks for a good night. And she gives me a hug and then she walks inside, right? And then I get furious. I get furious about this because all I got was a hug. Are you serious? I just did this. I was such a nice guy. But the reality is, like, I had to realize, like, am I really a nice guy? I was only doing all that nice stuff to get something in return. That's not nice. Being nice is being selfless. You know what I'm saying? So, like, a lot of this comes from men. Like, we really got to be self-aware. And a lot of us were not as nice as we think we are. And maybe if we were, we'd have a lot more opportunities. Women, like, there's a whole subreddit, too, of nice girls, too, right? Like, you got to check in with yourself and say, like, am I really as nice as I think I am? Because I might not be. All right. So, again, please share this video. There's a lot of nice guys out there who really need a stern talking to. And, like I said, I'm much different now. And this was a journey. And I'll make some more videos about how I grew as a man, how I started being a better person in relationships. I have a beautiful girlfriend. We've been together for over a year and a half. We're looking at apartments and stuff like that. If we make it till this December, which I don't see why we wouldn't, you know, we'll be together for about two years, you know? And, you know, if you ask her, I'm pretty decent in a relationship now. And a lot of it is because I give without expecting anything in return. And I think that's a problem that a lot of us have, right? So, anyway, share this video. Leave comments down below. What is your experience? Were you a nice guy? Are you a nice guy or ladies out there? What's your stories? Have you ever encountered one of these nice guys? All right, but that's all I got for you today. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you are new here, I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental and emotional well-being. Click that subscribe button, ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all beautiful and you're helping me make more content to spread the message of hope. And if you want to check out some more videos, you can click a tap right there. Thanks so much for watching. Quit being a nice guy and I'll see you next time.