 So, this morning I was watching a video about where our first impressions of relationships begin. And as I started to ponder the thought that was shared, particularly from the fact of the matter is most of us get a sense of our first sense of relationship from either our parents or our early caretakers. That's right. Our parents are our early caretakers. And our world of what a relationship looks like begins from that impression that we gain. And then as we age, it begins to shift from the stories we hear or more importantly, certainly in the last 50 or 60 years, the movies or TV shows we watch. That's right, the movie or TV shows we watch influence how we might create a world of how we might view a relationship. Why am I bringing this up? Because there could be, I think there's roughly 8 billion people on the planet. So let's just say that half of those people have access to television. Certainly all 8 billion have access to a person that created them, a mother and a father or a male, biologically speaking. So where does people's impression from relationships come from? If what we've witnessed in our life has been relatively unhealthy, that's right, has been relatively unhealthy, how can the world, the vision of a relationship look like for a person or worse, what if it's a vision of a fantasy? Certainly we've talked about it in the past about the Cinderella story or the movies, the notebook and others that glorify or romanticize relationships without really any understanding of the foundation of what it takes to build a healthy happy relationship, in particular building trust and trust begins when we show up trustworthy or what this topic is about is showing up with some class. So I want to lean into this conversation about trust for a moment because I think it's hugely important to recognize that if you are serious about wanting a fully committed relationship, then it's important to understand what trust is in a relationship because without trust, and I'm not talking about trust merely in the area of fidelity, I'm talking about the deep roots of trust that are built to actually weather the storms when things aren't going the way you wish them to be. In fact, most folks fantasize or glorify all the positive things in a relationship and yet they tend to forget or focus on all the challenges that might occur in a relationship. Challenges could be difference in values, challenges could be difference in lifestyles, and sadly even worse is difference of emotional maturity and relationship skills in relationship and that's right. The thing is, if we aren't building trust in a relationship, then what you're going to find yourself in many cases are casual relationships, situationships, or friends with benefit relationships. I'm going to repeat that casual relationships, situationships, or friends with benefits relationships, and I want to add a fourth one to that because these days since most people spending more time on their telephone texting and communicating in that venue than actually physically spending time together, I believe a significant percentage of relationship these days are simply what I call cyber relationships and while they might physically see each other on occasion, they're spending more time with their telephone than they are physically building the deep roots of trust needed to establish a healthy happy relationship. So trust isn't just about fidelity as I said before and while that's important, trust is really can I count on this person to care about my feelings as much as my own? Does this person have my best interest at hand? Will they be there for me when I'm sick? And yet sadly many people are entering into relationship today with little or no commitment to actually investing in the long term of relationship because certainly in my demographic which is the midlife demographic which is after baby making years and before retirement, roughly 75% of the people in the age demographic that I talked to are divorced and that demographic has a reluctance to actually lean into something more substantial. And ladies, let me just say this, if a man isn't in a position to either take care of someone and this doesn't have to be financially, this could be emotionally take care of someone or just even physically take care of someone, it's going to be difficult for him to build the deep roots of trust that can take this relationship to something more substantial. And yet sadly many of you are holding hope on very mediocre relationships and you oftentimes I think women settle on a not okay relationship when a man will oftentimes settle on a just okay relationship. Think about that for a moment. A lot of men will happily settle on a just okay relationship and women often settle on a it's not even it's not even okay and you'll settle on those relationships because some relationship is better than others. And let me just tell you if you're a lady of class, you'll never settle on a either just okay relationship or a not okay relationship. So I said I'm going to talk about class today because I believe when you lean into a relationship with a level of emotional maturity, it's going to establish the class you need to determine if this person is worthy of your time is this person worthy of you investing your heart and certainly your body to someone who's not capable of being there is this sinking in this this resonating please let me know post a comment post it in the chat box I want to know if this resonating with you if it is hit that like button please share this video and please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new. All right let me put on my trusty glasses because we're going to talk about the five surprising things that tell a man you have class and I've got a bonus one which really is near and dear to my heart. So I think one of the things in the early stage of dating that demonstrates that a woman or a man has class is that they okay most of the time since we're talking about midlife folks folks in their midlife they are most likely divorced and if they are divorced one thing they don't do a person that has class doesn't bad mouth their ex that's right they don't bad mouth their ex nor do they blame the entire ending of the relationship on their ex because there's always two parties in every relationship and if a human being doesn't take ownership on their part then that's not demonstrating a level of class in my humble opinion you may disagree with me I'm okay with that but a person of class doesn't bad mouth their past relationships and more importantly they take ownership they take ownership for their part in the ending of relationship even if you were with a I mean short of being with a axe murderer or somebody who abused or you in a relationship because certainly I'm not condoning that whatsoever what I am saying here is we all play a part in the ending of our relationship and a classy thing to do is to own your part okay um all right number two can listen and acknowledge your communication or you can listen and acknowledge his communication and he can listen and acknowledge your communication here's the thing folks healthy relationships is about good communication skills and good communication skills starts with good listening skills and good listening skills would be something like this you just heard what I said and then you repeat back you acknowledge what that person said that demonstrates that you're actively listening and that demonstrates your level of class because here's the thing most human beings communicate to respond instead of actually listening that's right they're waiting for the next thing to say instead of actually taking in what the person had to say acknowledging that and more importantly accepting what that person has to say might be true to them if there's a difference of opinion between the two of you so again good good communication starts with active listening and active listening is hearing what a person says and then acknowledging what they said by actually repeating back to them what they said so they know that you've actually heard them and that demonstrates a level of class okay number three um oh here's the thing I put down this demonstrates a person as class if they've done some personal developments where um personal development work or they understand the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship one of the books I recommend frequently is the book seven principles of making a marriage work why do I like this book because it outlines the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship in particularly the importance of good conflict resolution skills needed if you if you've done personal development work and you've studied relationship I believe that demonstrates a level of class if you're in the market for a fully committed relationship in fact I also recommend this book for those of us who are in the second or third go around in our life making your marriage second marriage a first class success by the way there's a link to all the books I recommend in the description below why am I recommending these books because I I cannot begin to stress the importance that a person of class understands the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship folks there is a blueprint to a healthy relationship most of you and most men out there are winging it you're winging it you're winging it you're like you're flying without any direction hoping that magic fairy dust of love will make this relationship work many of you are operating on magic fairy dust hoping that the relationship will work without really understanding the importance of good by the way you can all say Jonathan good communications the key to success of a relationship but if you don't know how to communicate in a hell in a way that's seen heard and understood just because you said the word doesn't mean you're actually operating that and just because women have a propensity to communicate emotions doesn't necessarily mean it's landing on their partner if you haven't read the book two books I want to recommend here here's a great book I hear you the surprisingly simple skills behind extraordinary relationships I highly recommend this book to understand effective and good communication skills because many of you are suckling on the fantasy I talked about in the beginning of this broadcast because most of you have been indoctrinated in relationship success based on the movies you've watched and certainly many of us have never had a really healthy relationship to model from our parents because we witnessed oftentimes dysfunctionality so done some personal development work including in the area of relationships I highly recommend that number four they are not all consumed by social media even if it's their job you know I'm in a profession where I do spend a fair amount of social media and I'm capable of putting my phone down and connecting with my partner a person who isn't all consumed by their instagram account their facebook account whatever twitch account or whatever tiktok account they're not all consumed by it that demonstrates a level of class in my book you may agree you may disagree but it demonstrates a level of class in my book and number five I think this is an obvious one that demonstrates class but they're genuinely friendly to wait staff service staff and others I was in a relationship with a woman who was a gorgeous multi-millionaire coach in the in the personal development world it's interesting just because you might be in personal development world doesn't necessarily mean you're an awakened or conscious human being because she said to me privately she never said this in public but she said to me privately she basically said all wait staff are commoners and she was above the commoners I mean I will tell you that relationship ended shortly thereafter because that demonstrated little or no class to me and certainly when a person treats somebody who might be temporarily in a subordinate position with to you I think with kindness care and respect demonstrates a significant amount of class do you agree with me on this one please let me know and here's the bonus one this is number six the bonus one they are on time for a date one of my biggest pet peeves are people who are bitually late especially in the dating process and I can tell you that to me lacks class when people show up late to a date without some acknowledgement of it or some genuine sincere reason why they couldn't be I think human beings who have class don't take other human beings for granted particularly in the early stage of dating one of the things I appreciate most about my beloved there's a picture of her right there is she's continually punctual she makes that effort to be on time I believe that demonstrates respect and then demonstrates a level of class and I think people who are habitually late or inconsiderate of others show a lack of class and so I put that actually as a bonus but to me that's the number one way to determine if a person has class is are they punctual all my clients know I call literally right at the dot of our coaching sessions and if I ever am late they have always advanced notice but I literally to me punctuality is a value that every human being should adopt because there's something there's nothing more disrespectful in my world than people who show up late when they've made a commitment based on time is this sinking in is this resonating please let me know okay those five surprising things that tell a man you have class doesn't bad mouth past relationships can listen hear what you have to say and acknowledge what you have to say number three has done personal development work particularly in the area of understanding relationships number four isn't all consumed by social media even if it's their business number five genuinely friendly to support staff and service staff and number six being on time to me that demonstrates a lot of class thank you for allowing me to share that with you is this sinking in is this resonating please let me know hit that like button please share this video and please subscribe to my channel if you're brand new I think this will be a great place to wrap up today first off I want to give you a heart centered big gigantic Jonathan bear hug and I'm sending one of self love to me I'm going to reach into the camera and give everyone a big gigantic hug I'm asking you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow there's a teddy bear give enter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it we could all use more love in our lives