 I wanted to riff a bit about the idea of paradoxical intentions and why things often are the exact opposite of what they seem. This came up recently when I had the memory of how I used to date women and send them messages and then I would not get a response for a couple of hours and the first thing that I would think is oh no like she doesn't like me anymore or maybe you know she's not into me anymore or she changed her mind or something happened and out of those instances which by the way can be applied almost exactly to sales you know this person is not gonna close he's not the right person blah blah blah out of those instances almost none of the suspicions or accusations actually ended up occurring in real life so out of the total amount of times where I was so sure in my heart of hearts that the girl who was not answering the message was not really into me or that the person who hasn't given me a response yet he's probably not into the product that I'm selling you know and it's probably not gonna work out of those intense instances almost none of them occurred and the times where I did close a sale it was always the person that I would not suspect at first hand so the person where we just start talking and you know you're not even maybe not even a sales call but let's say it is so we start talking and he ends up buying on the by the end of the call and at the beginning of the call I think no no way like no and there you go you've got a sale or or on a bad side like the the girls I dated were I got my heart broken or bad things happen or got cheated on it was never when I expected it it was never when I thought it was gonna happen so yeah I mean it's pretty it's pretty devious but that's simply the way I noticed life works it's that the things you worry about the most are often the things that never come to fruition and it's actually the things that you didn't think of that end up happening now how do you actually deal with that how do you what do you do about it so on a positive side if you've read Victor Frankl's book man searches for meaning on the positive end you learn that for example when you have a person with a stutter and that person is trying to file for some sort of a government compensation for it the welfare thing the officer the health officer comes check to check him out and obviously you want to make as much stuttering noises as possible to show them you actually need the money well suddenly that person who's started his entire life can't seem to start and the reason for that is the paradoxical intentions principle principle which states that whatever you try to apply force to accomplish you actually end up creating the reverse reaction so a person who's getting anxious and he's all he's thinking is don't get anxious don't get anxious like applying force against it he's gonna get more anxious or if you go to a party and you're like be cool be cool be cool you know be confident you're gonna project the exact opposite because this relates to the book power versus force where when you're in your power you do things without trying to do them you just do them but when you try it actually creates the opposite reaction so by worrying about your goal for not answering the phone you're basically reinforcing the fact that you shouldn't answer the phone or if you're like anxious that she's losing interest you're actually making her lose interest by doing that behavior without noticing it or if it's in sales when you're absolutely sure that this person is not you know the right client the not the right person that will end up becoming a client you're actually gonna do the things that will push that person away like being kind of like not very interested in them maybe a bit nervous so do how do you deal with that like how do you actually solve solve that problem well you use it to your advantage so the cool thing about paradoxical intentions is that you can actually use it in the reverse manner and what that means is let's say that you're not confident that you feel kind of like ashamed of yourself and slouching and depressed you can actually try to be more depressed or more lacking in confidence and by trying to do the opposite of what you want you're actually reinforcing what you want so again let's say you're in a really bad mood you're like how do I make myself even less happy right now so you start frowning and just do this face like me me you know just start making noises like yeah I'm I am p you know fuck it fuck you know like just sound really depressed and and like slouch and shit and the more you do that actually you start to laugh all of a sudden because it looks so ridiculous or let's say again in terms of the sale I could say you're having a sales call and you instead of being like thinking oh this person is not gonna buy oh no this is not good how do I get them to buy and you know being all needy you can actually try to actively make them not want to buy like yeah you know you don't want this product it's not good for you it's trust me just don't you should hang up the phone right now and like literally just go against everything that you're taught because that would make the other person laugh and that will really ease the tension and suddenly that person be like no no why why should I buy like why like what's the problem with it like why wouldn't I buy and that actually try to chase you when you do that which is really fun when it happens so yeah just anything that's sort of bugging you or stressing you and you need to relieve yourself from it simply apply paradoxical intentions against it instead of having it be against you and you'll find it gets dissolved very very quickly yeah that's a really cool concept and just in general just as a warning you know don't don't don't take it too seriously like whatever you don't take your perceptions too seriously because most of them are wrong again if you look at the lives of most people the shit that they were scared of did not happen and the things that they did not predict did happen you know like you end up you save your money your whole life and you end up getting hit by a car good for you it's just the way that life life works so the things that you worry about probably won't happen so don't worry about them and start worrying about the things that you're not worried about things you think are permanent things like your health that you think will not deteriorate you know it might very well either slowly deteriorate or quickly something would happen might happen to it you know it might be in a car accident or something just just change your your entire system of thought again the things you were worried about will not happen and even if they do do happen you're probably gonna deal with them things that are gonna crush your things you never thought about like war or crime or health issues or you know somebody coming up to your house and apparently you owe somebody a hundred thousand dollars or something like you don't you have no idea how life could pull it out of its ass like how these kind of occurrences but it does and you that's how you deal with them is you actually learn ahead of time you know you read books you get educated about them so that you actually get to worry about things that might actually happen like you turning 17 or 60 and not having money to pay for yourself which happens to about 30% of Americans yeah so that's these are my tips again talking about both paradoxical intentions and having kind of like back-ass backwards perceptions of reality and worrying about the wrong shit I hope this helps you let me know in the comments if you have any question or what sort of situation did you encounter recently that this could have been useful for and I'll see you in the next video