 You feel a burden, you feel a responsibility, which I might add is a part of post-traumatic stress, because if you lose somebody, you automatically feel like there's something you could have done to prevent that. Maybe you could have, but war is messy. It wasn't until after I got home that things started occurring that raised my anxiousness level to the same degree that I experienced in combat. There were times in my Marine Corps career that people probably didn't see the real Randy Hoffman. They saw a person that was dealing with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, anxiousness, and I almost feel bad. Sometimes I want to go back and say, hey guys, you really didn't see who I am. You know, I'm really a funny guy. I like to laugh. I have a lot of joy in my life, but at that period, that season of my life, I didn't have it. Anybody can have it, and it doesn't mean that you're stronger or weaker, it just means that you're dealing with something that's pretty traumatic. That's why they call it post-trauma, post-traumatic. You would not go into a firefight by yourself, so why would you deal with post-traumatic stress without asking for other Marines and other weapons? It's what we do. If you're struggling with something, know first and foremost somebody else where in this uniform has had to struggle with the same thing. Our motto is always faithful. The Marines that are struggling with stuff need to understand. There are other Marines out there that will faithfully stand by their side, listen to them, and help them get what they need to recover.