 Listen, it's the message right here. Black boy, tell me how you really feel. Because I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. A lot of the conversation that you see when it comes to black men and black women, most of the time men complain that women hate accountability. It's almost like a dirty word. It's like Mufasa. Women hate accountability. So the question is, why do you think either you in the past, you currently, your friends, women you know, your mom, your sisters, why do women evade or tend to evade accountability? So is everybody's fault but mine? It's a control thing. And it's the thing of when you want us to take accountability, it comes off as an attack. So we're forced to put up a defense. I've learned to take accountability for myself. Because, I mean, if you're wrong, you're wrong. What's going to happen? But the accountability thing, I just feel like, again, once you're feeling attacked, you're going to want to, you feel me, put up that shield. Like, nah, bro, chill. But having to take accountability, it don't feel like a safe place. It don't feel like you're on our side. It feels like an attack. That's how I feel like what taking accountability is. Nobody wants to be wrong at the end of the day because being wrong is wrong and nobody wants to be wrong. But at the end of the day, everybody can be wrong and it's OK. It's just the ale you got to just roll with. It ain't like, what's going to happen to you? Personally, though, I don't mind taking accountability. It don't faze me. I'm cool. I'm cool. If I was wrong, I'm cool with it. I'll take that. I'm woman enough to admit that. My bad, bro. You were right. I was wrong. I'm going to work on that. I'll fix it. I'm going to feel me like. But usually, it don't feel good, but it don't feel like nothing to me no more. Because it's like, you have to be an adult about shit. You got to be real about it. Like, girl, you wrong for that. You feel me? So it don't feel good to be wrong. Do you think that might be part of the reason why black men don't feel loved by black women? Because we don't take accountability. Because we can't tell you all shit. That actually can't nobody tell you all shit. These guys. That's actually part of it, though. Like, I get what? No, like, don't get me wrong. Like, I do get where y'all be coming from. Like, I completely get where y'all come from. Because I'm very, like, empathetic. Like, I can see how you will perceive this as, like, down. Like, you know, you have to step outside of yourself and really look at it. Look at shit in a different perspective. So I can understand why y'all feel the way y'all feel towards us sometimes. We don't want to take accountability because we feel attacked. Because I feel like, like I said earlier, it has a lot to do with our value in the world and our value to y'all. If we already feel small, we already feel small. So now we're wrong, too. Like, we already, like, don't have much to... You get what I'm saying? So I don't know if it's you that told me this or if I read it somewhere. But then it was like, what does a man have to gain from being married? Cause I never thought about that. I've never in my life thought about it until it was brought to my attention. Like, what does a man have to gain from being married? And I had to think about the shit, too. Because most of the time when you're watching these little shows on TV, it's always the man paying for this stuff or, like, he has to put, he has to get on one end proposed and he has to pay for everything. And he has to, like, take you on the honeymoon and carry you over the threshold and all this type of shit. And, like, you have his kids and stuff like that and it's usually the woman who's, like, so happy. Oh, I got the ring and dress shopping and all this type of stuff. And it's usually the dude on the fence chilling, letting her do everything. And, like, I never thought about that and it just made me wonder, like, damn, like, what do we really mean to y'all? So it's a lot of, like, inner feelings on, like, if we even really mean anything to y'all because we're usually the ones filing for divorce. We're usually the ones getting cheated on. So, I mean... What is a man's primary role in the home? Providing protect. That's how I see it. I don't know no other role he could have. You're a man and I feel like at the end of the day, regardless of how we feel about all this stuff, men should play their role just as much as women. That's my next question. What is a woman's primary role in the home? In the home, taking care of the household and doing her part or whatever her man wants or needs her to do. To keep everything together, to keep the relationship together, the family and all that stuff. Not saying that it's solely her responsibility because he, of course, should be involved in all that as well, but protect and provide who do you call to kill all the spiders, him. So, with that being said, if he's on his job, a woman should submit to him 100%. I don't got no problem with submitting, but as long as I feel like the submit thing should be... I don't want y'all to hate me for saying this now, but I feel like if you want a woman to be submissive, I personally feel like you have to earn that. Because I don't see a lot of goofy-ass niggas have these females that just lay down and just give them everything, that don't even deserve it. And it's just like, what are you pouring in that you should be receiving all these wonderful... You get what I'm saying? Things. Should men have that same mindset? But there's never a thing about man being submissive. That's not a thing. No, I'm saying like, if... Because what you're saying is submission is conditional, right? You have to do these things. I personally feel like, yes, it should be conditional because some men don't deserve submissive women because at the end of the day, you have to think about what kind of man you have. It's a lot of controlling men. It's a lot of men who are insecure. But then why are you with them? Exactly. But that's my point. If you're with him, you should be able to submit to him 100%. I mean, if that's what she wants, if that's her cup of tea then... Because part of the frustration with men, and that's why I asked you some of those questions at the beginning, men are saying you guys are picking the wrong niggas and then penalizing other niggas and niggas in general and saying that we don't deserve submission. You have to earn submission. So men are saying, why don't you pick niggas who are worthy of submission off top? Because you're submitting, if you're with a man, you're submitting to them anyway. Who are worthy of submission. Because you're making it conditional. I feel like you have to grow to that point though. Like, you know, just off the bat, just be like, yeah babe, of course babe, sure babe, it's not like that. You expect that from men though. You expect, no, but what I'm saying is, the stuff that men are supposed to do, provide and protect, you expect that off top. And the things you're supposed to do, like submit and care and nurture, I have to earn that. Why is that? No, no, no, no, no. Care and nurture, no, because. But submission is part of that. Nah, cause. For men it is. I feel like being submissive is just. Submitting to somebody's authority. Of course, yeah, but like caring and nurturing is not. I feel like that's already in our nature to be there anyway. So that's, I feel like submission is, depending on who you are, or if you're capable of being submissive. No, part of caring and nurturing a man is submitting to him. Because for us, our ego is everything. And we interpret love through respect. So like, am I your king? Yes or no? That's what submission is about. And are you gonna treat me like I'm a king? And I run things. But again, part of the issue is, women can say, until you do this, this, this, and this, you're not gonna get this. But men can't say that. I can't say, until you do this, this, this, and this, I'm not gonna take you on a date. I ain't gonna give you no money or I ain't gonna do this or I ain't gonna do that. Oh, I see what you're saying. Exactly. So is it right that women get to make their femininity conditional, but they expect men's masculinity to be initial? It's not fair. Not that you put it like that. But y'all's ego plays a big role in how a woman submits to you. Cause ego is like, okay. So how do I put it like this? Like the male ego is like you, penis size, how much money you got? Status, all that falls in line with your ego. And I feel like it's dudes that think like they that niggas, so they should receive that off top. Even if you ain't shit, even if you're rude as hell, even if you just like are disrespectful and all that stuff, you just think a female should just bow down to you and stuff like that. And it can't be like that. It should. It should? Because I think every nigga should be like that, right? And the type and caliber of woman that you can get to submit to you validates whether you actually are that nigga. Okay, I see your point. I see your point. So if you think you that nigga and you get a female that thinks she that bitch and y'all come together, it ain't gonna, no, no, no, no, no. Because I don't, I don't feel like that's, I feel like there's no balance because there's always gonna be one who wants to one of the other, who wants to one of the other in the relationship and there's nobody that's ever gonna wanna listen and like wanna sit your ass down and just listen to what I have to say. And like, let's go with this plan and all this stuff. Who should lead a relationship? Who should lead? Both of them equally. I feel like a man should value a woman's opinion just as much as a woman should value a man's opinion. But the thing is, it's stuck in this way that a man runs shit. Let me ask you this. Do kings rule the kingdom with a queen or does the king rule and have a queen? Who has other jobs? Does the king and queen rule a kingdom together or does the king rule and the queen has her role in his kingdom? How does that work? I feel like they should both run it. I feel like they should both. Who's the leader is the question? Who's the leader? I mean, when you like, the way you put in it in that type of scenario, it would be the man. It doesn't seem like you believe that. Huh? It doesn't seem like you believe that. No, I mean, that's why I said that, like I go off historical, you know what I'm saying? That's how it was. So it's hard to break out of that today, being that that's how shit was like made to be coming up. It was usually a man in charge. It was usually a man running things. You feel me? But now women wanna run things with us. Exactly, but what's the problem? Does that work? What's the problem? Does that work? You said does it work? Why wouldn't it? Have you seen a company with two CEOs? Have you seen a football team with two quarterbacks at the same time? That's not the same. It is. Roles and responsibilities are a thing. But the difference is part of why there is this separation is that it's hard for black men to be men anymore because they have another man in the house. And I see what you're saying on that and that's what I was saying like earlier. But you're going back on that now. You're going back on that now. I'm not going back. Like you're right because that's what I'm saying. It's always that competition, like one trying to one up the other or you know we constantly have to prove our value to y'all like guess like my word means something. But you shouldn't have the last word. Nobody said the last word. But that's what I mean by a leader. Like in an ideal black household who should have the last word. Okay, but look though. Personally, I don't want to be with a man who don't know what he's doing or don't know where he's going or don't know what he want to do. Those men shouldn't exist to you though. Exactly. So I'm not talking about that man. I'm talking about the man that you're with. The man that I'm with. Yeah, the man that you're with should be somebody you respect, right? Of course. It should be somebody that you understand his level of intellect, his decision making. Exactly, of course. So why is it a problem to submit to the man that you're with? Because the problem is a lot of women choose men, choose men, and then they don't want to submit to the man they chose. So is it that you don't trust your decision making? I see what you're saying. No. I'm only saying no because like, can we pause it? I got a pee. And I told other women this, if you aren't willing to submit to a man or if you're going to make him jump through hoops first, it means you don't trust him and it means you shouldn't be with him. But if you're with a man, you should trust him enough to submit to his authority and let him be a man. Let him be a king, let him be a God. All this shit we tell a black man. Because if you stay with him but challenge his authority at every turn, that's not love, that's not how we receive love. Okay. All right, so next question.