 You may have the fastest boat on the river But someone tried to stop you from winning this race before you even left the wharf in New Orleans have gone Will travel starring mr. John Daner as Paladin San Francisco 1875 the Carlton Hotel headquarters of the man called Paladin Care for another drink, Mr. Paladin. No, thank you very much. You go ahead though. Well, no I guess I've had enough for the night to Colonel Tulliver Why did you select me surely there are men along the river who can suit your purpose? Of course there are good men too, but they're too well known I want stranger for this job and new face. It seems a lot of trouble and expense to go to nothing It's too good for the Queen. Very well then since you are agreeable to my terms. I am agreeable to the engagement Excellent, sir. Excellent. We should look forward then to seeing you in New Orleans by the end of the month Not later than the 30th fine fine Well, I'd better get up to my room and pack if I'm going to leave in the morning Good night, Mr. Paladin. Good night Colonel Tulliver. Have a nice trip. Thank you, sir Hey boy You can come out from behind the palm now the Colonel's gone I was listening naturally you go to work for a queen Yes, the biggest queen you ever saw. Oh What country she queen off? Oh, not a country. Hey boy. She's a Delta Queen Delta Queen What is that Mississippi Riverboat the fastest Mississippi Riverboat since the Robert E. Lee What you do with Riverboat you be captain? Oh, no. No, hey boy I'm going to be her bodyguard Notice Minna the new houses all seem to be on one floor I'd like that with nagging backache and the muscular aches and pains I've had lately It's no fun climbing stairs. I know with nagging backache. All I'd want is relief Oh, try Don's pills, right Don's pills are an analgesic and mild diuretic to the kidneys nagging backache also headache dizziness and muscular aches and pains may come on with overexertion Emotional upsets or everyday stress and strain Don's pain relieving action is often the answer and they also offer mild diuretic action through the kidneys So if nagging backache is making you feel worn out tired and miserable with restless sleepless nights Don't wait try Don's pills used successfully by millions for over 60 years See if they don't bring you the same welcome relief get Don's pills today to save money by Don's big economy size It was a big event no question about it. The posters were plastered all over New Orleans steamboat race. They screamed You all in the St. Louis between the packets general Stonewall Jackson and the Delta Queen Excitement was electric and the bedding ran high From the lowliest freed slave to the most austere Creole banker everyone had a favorite and most of the money was on the Delta Queen She was a beautiful thing to see a floating palace rising white and shimmering above the levee Her two stacks belching out the black pitch smoke which advertised her imminent departure Well, Mr. Paladin there she is. Oh, she's a beauty Colonel Toliver I think she's the fastest boat on the river now mean to prove it. Come aboard. We'll get you settled here boy Take Mr. Paladin bag with Steven. Yes, sir. I sure will all right, Mr. Paladin Let's go topside with the captain And what makes you so sure captain that somebody will try to do damage to the Delta Queen I'm not sure mr. Paladin, and I hope I'm wrong But we must take ever precaution too much depends on this trip you see mr. Paladin The Queen is odds on favorite now It's just so great a lot of smart money is riding on the Stonewall Jackson Of course, there's no doubt about it in my mind The Queen can beat the Stonewall Jackson in a fair race in a day of the week But it's a long way to St. Louis better than a thousand miles and anything can happen out there on the river I'll try to see that it doesn't captain I'm sure you will any particular person you're suspicious of no no one in particular mr. Paladin Any special instructions? No, just mingle with the other passengers wander around the boat and keep your eyes and ears open Ready to cast off sir. Very well. Shall we start colonel? Oh, well means Come on mr. Paladin. Let's go to the pilot house Colonel I didn't see the Stonewall Jackson when we came up She's up the waterway. I'll show you Sidewheeler backing out into the river that's the Stonewall Jackson. Yeah, she's already cast off Does that mean that she has started? Oh, no No, we start from the imaginary line drawn between that church steeple that big clumped trees cross river You'll see how we do it mr. Paladin standing by the cast off cast off Engine room engine room a stern a speed Captain how long do you think it'll take us to get to St. Louis? Well, the Robert E. Lee made it in three days 18 hours and 14 minutes and we aimed to better that consider Stop engines F speed forward. Do we plan to make many stops colonel? No, we're putting it natures of Hicksburg Memphis and Carol Stop engines I Mean nicely a beam of the Stonewall Jackson will signal it She signals us and all we have to do is wait for the start and flagging the cannon see you sure over there the flag's lowering Engine room stand by Flag gets to the bottom of the pool the fire the cannon will be on our way Another cup of coffee sir just a half please you sir No, thank you Have a cigar to go with the coffee mr. Paladin. Thank you Hmm Wonderful aroma. I have him specially made for me in Havana. Mr. Devereaux. No, thank you You don't mind ma'am. Oh, please go ahead. Thank you well Clipping right along I want to pass Baton Rouge and another hour can't go too fast to suit my sister and me, right honey Oh, yes, Yancy. All I want is to get back home. Your home's in st. Louis. Yes, and I've been away just too long What line of work are you in up in st. Louis mr. Devereaux first wholesale first Used to be a good business before beaver hats went out of style. It still is Listen Listen, something's happened the engines are stopped in the middle of the river. Why I don't know But why don't you go find out? Yes? I think I will You coming no, no, I think I'll finish my coffee What is it captain? Why are we stopped rudder cable party mr. Paladin look here cut halfway through with our ax saw Exactly, we put a strain on it going around that last sand bar. She party. Can you fix it captain? What's that can take an hour more? Meanwhile the Stonewall Jackson will be out of sight Miss Paladin you have any idea who did this well, that's a little difficult to say captain for One thing it was done while you were lying up at the wharf in New Orleans How do you know the cut ends are somewhat rusted except for the strands that have just parted So they are so it might or might not have been done by someone who's aboard now You've talked with our passengers. You have any suspicions. No, not really No, there is one man Doesn't bother to introduce themselves an interesting fellow. I want to get to know him better You will look into it. Did I will captain? Enjoying your cigar mr. Paladin. Oh, yes. Yes. Thank you very much Have any idea who cut the rudder cable? Oh Why should I That's why you're a board isn't it guard against such thing Am I? You needn't be alarmed mr. Paladin. I won't give away your secret. I Haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. Well, have it your way But if you were looking for a ride on a riverboat you needn't have come this far You could have taken the star of the Pacific from San Francisco up the Sacramento River to Stockton No, mr. Paladin, you're here because you're paid to be How do you know so much about me? Well, I was a reporter on the San Francisco morning call a few years back And it was my business to know about men like you And because I know you to be a square shooting fella. I'm gonna give you a little tip. Oh, what's that? Before I was a reporter on the San Francisco morning call. I was a reporter on the Virginia City Enterprise And I recollect a young buck out there that could have been the twin brother of that Yancey Devereaux who shared our table at dinner Only his name wasn't Yancey Devereaux then was the Sierra kid He had a frightening facility with a deck of cards. I could have told you then that boy would grow up to be a big time gambler What are you implying? I'm implying nothing mr. Paladin And anyway after that cute little trick with the rudder cable We may just have lost the race already. You think it's that serious? Well, look for yourself Upriver there not a light Stonewall Jackson's miles out of sight That's my soul fog coming on This could be disastrous There's that tricky crossing to be made just above Bayou Sara With the water it's such a low state Come along mr. Paladin where up to the Texas deck the captain may need some help before this night's over Say tell me how do you know so much about the river sir? Well, mr. Paladin before I was a reporter on the Virginia City Enterprise I was a Mississippi River pilot. Oh Now sir you challenge my credulity. I'm sure I do but then I found truth always was stranger than fiction Evening Rodney. Oh come in Sam mr. Paladin come on in Well, how's it look bad very bad. I don't like it at all That crossing up ahead Is it changed much with the years not a great deal that sick of more snag over toward these banks gone Give you a little more room to get your stern around. Yeah, but she's built up shoal water there So it's still risky any other changes. No Otherwise, she's just about same Rodney I'd be honored to take her over that crossing for you In this fall the only thing to do either we get through the crossing in this fog or the race is over Appreciate this Sam No No, I am in your debt my friend to be at the wheel of a packet again Thank you. Yeah, we're coming into the crossing now But how do you know you? You can't see a thing. Oh you learn to feel the river mr. Paladin. You just know Larbert Ledgman below Let's hear how much water you got under you Let's hear you sound Well and good Three fathoms. We still have plenty of water mr. Paladin But she'll get shallower and shallower Have speed Rodney Have speed Cut engines cut engines will drift up to it All stop all stop. This will be a close thing mr. Paladin. We only draw six feet She's a ground Snatcher Rodney help me hold her down Yeah, yes, you made it She's a good boat Rodney Mind if I keep the helm for a while Sam you've earned keep it all night if you want Captain I've been talking to this remarkable fellow all evening. I didn't catch his name. Who is he? I had Sam Clemens He's one of the best pilots that ever took a boat up the river And now here are Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy Bergen, why did you stop the car here? I want to talk to that farmer. Oh, mister. Oh, you call me Why it's Mortimer Snare. Oh, that's me Are there any General Motors dealers around here? No, no, no, but we got some Chevrolet, Pontiac, Old Baville, Buick, and Cadillac dealers though, and some Chevy and GMC truck dealers, too Mortimer, those are all General Motors dealers What do you want to see them all for? Well, I only want to see one for Guardian Maintenance. Do they make that car, too? No, that's a service that's available only at General Motors dealers service departments. Oh, I see Yes, and right now they're featuring complete lubrications Quality appearance services break adjustments and front-end inspections It's quality work performed by GM trained servicemen at a fair price. Well, that makes good sense even to me Thanks to mr. Clemens superb pilotage. We were still in the race But we still had the Stonewall Jackson to beat and it was not until late the next day above Vicksburg that we caught up with her I tell you it was a brave sight to see that night the two great steamboats plowing up river neck and neck Their chimneys hurling sparks to the stars their great paddle wheels throwing a cloud of spray I stood on the hurricane deck watching them with Yancy Devereaux and his sister Oh like two great thoroughbreds coming down to the finish line quite apt Nancy Whoever takes a lead now is that to hold it the rest of the way to st. Louis care to bet on who that'll be mr. Devereaux I'm not a betting man, mr. Paladin, but if I thought the Stonewall Jackson would win the race I'd be aboard her instead of the Delta Queen would I not I don't know Would you I would but whoever wins we will be in st. Louis this time tomorrow. That's all that matters to me Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll be off to bed and miss all the excitement Yancy I've had enough for one day. Good night my dear Good night Paladin. Good night Devereaux Yes, it is getting late. I believe that I should paladin before you go. I Wonder if you would be so kind of course. What is it you wish with a window in my state room? I just can't seem to get it to come open. I wonder if you could free it for me Certainly be glad to but won't it wait until morning? Why mr. Paladin is there another young lady aboard? I didn't know about oh Then surely whatever beckons you can wait till you have done me this little service Of course Which is your state room? Oh, didn't you know it's right down here? Come in. Won't you? There now I Do declare this is a lot more cozy than that windy old deck Now isn't it mr. Paladin? Yes Yes indeed mr. Devereaux Now where is this window that sticks don't bother with the window mr. Paladin what put your hands up. Oh See you will have the pleasure of my company for the next few minutes mr. Paladin Why do your brothers down below doing whatever he's doing to gum up the works of the steamboat and lose the race for us You will remain here with me until he returns Very well mr. Devereaux Hey, that's a Interesting roommate you have. What are you talking about over there in the corner? That cute little rat Here mr. Devereaux I relieve you with that gun if you please Somebody should tell your brother or whoever he is not to send a girl to do a man's job I'll scream. I'll have the whole boat down on you. You just do that, honey You just make it sound real good Evener mr. Paladin looks like we're pulling away from him. Are you alone down here? No, I got a couple of strikers They're taking it easy behind the border. Did you see anybody come down here any of the passengers? No, sir. Now that he came down the after companion way come on What is it mr. Paladin? What's wrong? I don't know yet But tell me this if somebody wanted to wreck the engines what could he do to them? Might you me up the walk and beam if he could or maybe tamper with a lubrication on the paddle wheel journal boxes Where are they back here through this passageway? Devereaux he's got a gun Devereaux come down out of there give you a distance paladin. He's got the journal box open. I said come down out of there devereaux Keep down. He's got a bucket full of nuts and bolts metal junk looks like I'm warning you devereaux come down Or I'll shoot you down. Don't let him put that junk in that journal box mr. Paladin It'll chew up the drive shaft and fleece the titan. I'll stop him He fell backwards into the paddle wheel so Even in death he wins He'd better stop the engines not now mr. Paladin. What good would it do? He's gone Yes, I guess you're right We could never find him now Pepsicola refreshes without filling why because it's truly light. Charlie. You're forgetting something wait, k There's more. Yes ice-cold pepsi is the delicious refreshment that goes great at a picnic or a party And pepsi goes fast people like it. So keep plenty handy There oh you did fine Except for one thing Well, I mentioned lightness and how pepsi refreshes and how fast it goes you left out pepsi sociability You know the be sociable song, okay? I can't sing I can listen Well, at least I can say this pick up an extra carton of Pepsi today, please do Will travel Created by Herb Meadow and Sam Roth is produced and directed in Hollywood by Frank Paris and stars John Daner as Paladin with Ben Rylas Hey boy tonight's story was specially written for have gun will travel by William N. Robeson Join us again next week when CBS radio presents have gun will travel