 I went through a similar thing years and years ago where when I would attempt to meditate and go deeper inward I would encounter waves of resistance and feel the strong temptation to distract away from the stillness and notice there was a strong resistance there. And it was also the time when the course was in my life and I was just saying, well I really have some strong resistance here with the silence and the meditation and it was like the Holy Spirit saying, yeah, we know that we're going to work with you on developing your miracle working capabilities and I was living in a hermitage in the woods actually at the time and then people started to show up little by little and then I was guided to go out and go to a course group in Lexington, Kentucky and then to others and little by little it started my journey of just giving over everything to the Holy Spirit saying, use me in a helpful way because I knew and I was told that that would help wash away the resistance and I didn't know it was going to be like a many year process of sharing and extending and connecting and practice trusting that I'm here to be truly helpful or use me, speak through me, shine through me, share through me. So it's very much like the contrast between like a Ramana Maharshi self inquiry method which is who is the I kind of thing versus a meditation method. This is more tuning into the Spirit and really flowing with what's given and guided knowing that that will help clear away the resistance even though that seems to involve activity, you know that you're actually actively speaking and sharing and meeting people and going places and so forth and so I think that that can be the thing. It's opening you to the purpose of letting the Spirit use you and that's a very different purpose for meeting people than in the past. In the past you know the ego would have you meet people to get something from them whether it's spiritually or physically, psychologically, economically it was always guiding us to meet people to get and of course there was a lot of friction and conflict and difficulty with that old purpose. Now you're wanting the people to come and be brought to you as part of you healing, seeing them in a healing way, wanting to give and extend, have something to offer to them instead of something to get from them and slowly when you keep coming up with that, like that's the prayer of your heart to join together and to bring something, to bring a gift, to bring a blessing, slowly that washes away the fear and the resistance in a beautiful way. You just have to be real patient with it, you know the ego can be like I want it now, I want it now, I want immediate results.