 Hello everyone. Welcome to another Narc Survival Live video. I hope everyone's doing alright. So in this one, we are going to be talking about why you don't hear from the narcissist. And I'd like to hear from you down below in the live chat. Let me know what you think. Those of you who are no longer hearing from the narcissist. What do you think the reason is? I'd love to hear from you. But yes, I know what it's like when you're led to believe that this person loves you. They care about you. And you spend all of this time with them. You invested your energy and emotions and you thought that it was into something real. You thought this person actually cared about you. And as though they valued the same things as you do. As though they valued love, loyalty, devotion, honesty, trust, a long term relationship, maybe marriage, children. You thought they valued all of these things. But then in the end, it just seemed as though they got bored of you. They became disinterested. Their eyes what was wondering somewhere else. And then it looked like they had just left you behind. They had moved on and found someone else. Let's see what people are saying here down in the live chat. Theresa, made of wood says they don't reach out because they don't care. That honest a guy says because they're in prison or with another supply, Julie. I outed him to his boss and my coworkers. He was my boss. NY says he has found new supply. Midnight Blue says there could be various reasons. Yes, that's right. There can be more than one reason. But what I'm about to say in this video is just one reason. And I do believe that this one reason counts for every situation. Boba561 says they are spiteful and vindictive creatures. Yeah, that's right as well. They will often give you the silent treatment and discard you as a form of punishment. Which of course it can be quite difficult to believe. After everything they've done to you, you may see that as a blessing. But yes, it is meant to be a punishment. So I'm going to get into it. I'm going to reveal to you the reason why you don't cure from the narcissist anymore. And this one reason I would say that it counts for every situation. Yes, there may be other reasons as well. But this is always the main reason. And the main reason is why you don't cure from the narcissist anymore. It is because you are no longer susceptible to their mutilation. You no longer validate the illusion. You don't see them as the good kind people that they want to be seen as. Because yes, that is how they want to be seen. They may have done all of these things wrong to you. They may have hurt you. They may have lied to you. They may have cheated on you. They may have stole from you. They may have done all of these things to you. But they expect you to just forget about all of that. And instead focus on what they're doing for you right now. And if you can't do that, then they want nothing to do with you. If you can't validate the illusion. If you can't make them feel like they're right. They're nice. They're kind. They're good people. They're all of these things that they want to be seen as. Because typically a narcissist, and it doesn't matter what type of narcissist they are, when they are around a potential source of supply, you can guarantee that they want to be seen as powerful and important. They want to be seen as desirable and attractive. And if they can't be seen as any of these things, then they're not going to want to be around you. They're not going to want anything to do with you. They need to be seen in a certain light. So if you are not susceptible to them ablation, if you are not validating the illusion, then they don't want anything to do with you. And they will quickly leave. They will quickly exit the situation. They will ignore you. They will give you the silent treatment. And then they will go and find whatever it is that they're looking for. Whatever reflects back to them that they are something. Because they don't want anything to do with anyone who is not a reflection of them. And it doesn't matter if you're a positive reflection or a negative one. As long as you are some kind of mirror, you need to mirror something back to them. You need to make them feel special, important, powerful and attractive. And if you cannot do that, they look at it like who needs you. They will find someone else to do it instead. And that is typically what they do. They run off. They find another unsuspecting victim. Or in some cases they just find another narcissist. And actually that happens a lot more than people believe. They find someone who is just like them. Because they are to them finding another grey day supply, another empath. That is extremely rare. Empaths are maybe one or two percent of the population. Narcissists as we know they are very common. And they all act exactly the same. So sometimes, almost at a time, that's just what they do. They run off into the arms of another narcissist. They may be grandiose. They may be covert. But whatever they are, they're both just sharing this psychotic delusion. And they don't want anything to do with you anymore. Because you're real. You're authentic. And they do not like that. They do not like it when you reflect back to them. When you look at them with doubt. Because typically we tend to doubt ourselves in these relationships. But when you get to the point where you begin to doubt them. They do not like that. They do not like it when you doubt them. They would much rather that you doubt yourself. Before you ever look at them in a negative light. So of course when you start to distrust them. You see all of these things wrong with them. They can't be around you anymore. Because you're constantly triggering them. You're resurfacing their shame. You're making them feel bad about themselves. And they don't like how it feels when you do that. So of course they will cut you off. They will get rid of you. They won't want to deal with you anymore. But it's not really you. It's this mirror has turned inwards. It's reflecting something back to them about themselves. And they don't like it. They want nothing to do with themselves. Which is why you will notice that they project. Everything they dislike about themselves. On to you. They assign these negative traits on to you. And they try to make you feel bad about yourself. Which of course that's not even difficult to do if you are an empath. That doesn't take any special amount of skill. But they do it and they see it as an accomplishment. They see it as though they've got one over on you. And then they just can't be around you anymore. They don't want to be around you. They would rather be around someone else. Who is unsuspecting. They don't know what they're about. Someone who is more of a fool. Someone who is willing to believe in their lies and manipulations. Or it could just be someone who knows exactly what they're about. But they have much lower standards and expectations than you do. Or they may even just team up with this new supply. And triangulate them with you. And then you act as this mirror for them to fuel this illusion. So that they can feel like they have something real. So that's what I believe is the reason. In every situation it's always the same. It always comes back to this. You are not susceptible to their manipulation. You see through the illusion. They can't pull the wall over your eyes. You're just not going to believe it anymore. So what good is that for them? What good is it for them to be around someone who knows exactly what they're about. That is completely useless to a narcissist. But that doesn't mean that you are useless. That's just the perception of you. Because you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation. They can't deceive you anymore. So what they really want is an object. Or a partner in crime. That's all they're really looking for. And of course you didn't want to be that. And yet you're looking at it like they rejected you. They didn't want anything to do with you anymore. They got tired. They got bored of you. When in actuality, no, you initiated it. You got rid of them first. You were knowingly initiated the discard. And I know this because I've seen it myself so many times in past situations. With narcissists, I always initiated the discard first. I already rejected them. I didn't tolerate their treatment of me. I didn't tolerate the lies, the abuse, the deception, the future faking. I did in the beginning but after a while I had enough of it. I couldn't deal with it anymore. At some point I began to realise this person is full of shit. Everything they say is lies. It's only intended to mislead. They're not really about anything for real like I am. But despite of that I still decided to stay in the situation. And on many occasions it just got to the point where they had to get rid of me. But in some situations I left on my own. So yeah, you will find that. And yet a lot of you will feel rejected. You will feel like something was wrong with you. You will self-loathe. Especially if you are an empath. You will start to think that there's something wrong with you. When in actuality you just saw through it. You realised exactly what you were dealing with. But of course they've always got to put their own spin on it. They've always got to change the meaning or the interpretation of what actually happened. They've got to make you think, no, you weren't good enough for them. You couldn't do what they wanted you to do. When in actuality they were right all along. You couldn't do what they wanted you to do. You couldn't validate the false character, the illusion. You couldn't just keep pretending that what you were seeing is real. And because of that, they couldn't deal with you anymore. Because what they want is a puppet, someone who is asleep. Someone who doesn't see what is right in front of their eyes. But it gets to a point where once you've seen it, you can't unsee it. It disturbs you. It bothers you. And you realise that if they don't get rid of you, then you're going to have to get rid of them. Because once you start to see through them, the abuse begins to escalate. It gets even worse. At that point they're just trying to destroy you. They don't even bother with the manipulation anymore. They're just constantly putting you down. Just constantly trying to make you feel miserable. Because they already know it's not going to work on you anymore. But the funny thing is you may look at it like, it's like from one situation to the next. You're thinking, hold on a minute. How could they change from this to that? As though it just suddenly went from intense love bombing. But they were so eager to attract you. And they were fulfilling all of your sexual desires. Everything you wanted from them, they were giving that to you. Exactly how you wanted it. And you were completely hooked. You were addicted to them. You couldn't get enough of it. You couldn't leave it alone. And then suddenly it got to the point where it was just constant devaluation. They were just constantly abusing you, putting you down. Discarding, rejecting you. And you wonder how it went from that to that. When in actuality that was because of you. You caused it to transition. Because you stopped seeing them as attractive. You no longer desired them, maybe even sexually as well. They no longer turned you on. They went fulfilling your desires. That didn't work on you anymore. But I believe that their preference, what they'd really like. What they'd really prefer. Is to be able to love bomb you. They would much rather be able to fulfill your sexual fantasies and desires. Of course they would rather do that than constantly devalue you. That's why when they come in they love bomb you from the very beginning. And then when you start to see them differently. Then they discard you just so they can go and love bomb someone else. So clearly this is very important to them. Even though they stop showing it after a while. And not only that but sometimes they come back with the hoover. Just to love bomb you again. So what is with the constant love bombing? It's clearly because that is what they'd rather do. And you wonder why they don't do that with you anymore. You think it has something to do with you. But if it had something to do with you. Why would they love bombing you before? And that is how you know that yes. You initiated the devaluation. It's because you didn't see them in the way that they wanted to be seen. You didn't see them as attractive as desirable. They just weren't attracted to them anymore. So they knew they could no longer use that on you. They had to take that away. And you may see it sometimes because if you just go along with it for a moment. You pretend that maybe it could work with you. Maybe you do sexually desire them. Then they will come back. Or even if they see that you have had enough of them. But then you're thinking about someone else. You're having these fantasies or whatever it is. Then they will come back. Suddenly maybe they've got a new hairstyle. They're wearing these sexy outfits. They're doing all of these things to try to entice you. Because they're thinking that maybe that will work again. What you'll find is when they know that you're not attracted. You're not interested anymore. And you're just kind of staying with them to kind of keep the peace. Or maybe for other reasons. Maybe it's because of the children. But whatever it is. They just suddenly take the love bombing away. When you had that before. They were very interested in you. They were fulfilling all of your sexual fantasies and desires. And it looked like they were enjoying it too. They were having a good time as well. So why would they pull all of that away? Of course. It is always the victim or the target who initiates it. You are no longer interested. It no longer drew you in. You are no longer attracted to them. And that is why they stopped doing it. Otherwise it would have continued. They stopped because you no longer desired them anymore. And yet we wonder why we don't hear from them. Why they discarded us. Or maybe we discarded them and they didn't hoover. We wonder why. Because what Narcissus really wants more than anything else. Is someone who is susceptible to the love bombing. Someone who does desire them sexually. Even though especially with the behaviors. It's very difficult for us to do that. So then it all just falls apart. They devalue us and then they discard us. And it's all because we initiate it. But you've got to look at their toxic and dysfunctional behaviors as well. I mean it's an impossible expectation. How can anyone put up with that? But then they do go on and they find someone else. Someone who clearly has much lower standards and expectations. To where they are willing to put up with that. So look at it like that. It wasn't what you wanted anyway. You didn't want someone like that around you. So it's a blessing in disguise. And it's no good anyway just someone who... They just want to love bomb you and you just blindly want to receive it. Without any mention of their actions. It's not healthy. It's damaging to you. But as I've said before that really is what a narcissist should do if they were smart. Because as soon as they devalue their target everything changes. You're no longer addicted. You're no longer attuned to them. But with the love bombing I mean I know myself when I look back in my past relationships. That's really what got me hooked. And I'm sure it did for you as well. The love bombing when they show the false character that's really what gets you addicted. But as I said it is the victim the target who initiates the devaluation. That's why they take the false character away and then they stop manipulating you. Because they feel like what's the point. I'm doing all of these things but I can't fulfill your desires. So why keep trying to fulfill their desires if it's not working. It's how they see it. So definitely something to think about. I mean you've got to think they don't take it away for a reason. I mean they do take it away for a reason. It's not just suddenly out of the blue they just decide okay stop love bombing. Just devalue. There's a reason for it. And by now we should know how narcissists think they will do the same thing again and again as long as it is working. If it's not working then they will stop and try something else. So they may have tried it with you in the beginning. They may have tried to love bomb and seduce you. But then at some point they felt that it was no longer working. So then they took it away. And yet many of us we look at ourselves and we feel rejected. We feel like they didn't desire us anymore. When in fact if you look back it was actually you. So yes. This is why you don't hear from the narcissist. This is the reason. Because you stopped validating the illusion. You were no longer susceptible to their manipulation. They no longer felt sexy desirable attractive around you. They felt like they couldn't get to you in that way. So then they tried to get to you in another way. If you have any questions let me know down below. I am reading your comments in the live chat. Just looking for the live chat here. Any questions let me know down below. Tracker Pete says yes I have not heard from her lately. But for that to happen she had to die. She is buried in the ground exactly where she belongs. I don't know if I should say that I'm sorry to hear that. Tracker Pete. I mean of course it's horrible when someone dies. You must be grieving. But at the same time you must feel like you've escaped from that control. Maybe now you feel like you're more able to be yourself. You're more able to do what you want to do. But of course I understand. Narcissist or not it is horrible. When someone dies and you must be grieving. So I'm sorry to hear that. Narc Tactics 101 says how long does it take to heal from narcissistic abuse? That really depends on the individual. It depends on the type of narcissist that you are dealing with. The treatment that you experience from them. And how long the relationship lasted. And it also depends on you and your tolerance to it. How sensitive you were to it. But I would say at the very least you should notice some level of healing. If you're doing it right from at least three to six months. You may notice the beginning stages. And then by one year. Then you should really be starting to heal. After one year being no contact. You should notice some big changes in your healing by then. As I have myself. When I got away from narcissists. After one year that is when I really noticed a big difference. And I'm sure you will see that in my past videos as well. You'll notice that I was just smiling and laughing so much more. I was so much happier. It just really changed my life. Just after being no contact from narcissists. For about one year. Of course when they come back. It just drags you back again. But it does help if you've been away for one year. And then they come back. You're much more easier able to deal with it. Which of course is what they don't like. And they're not going to be as effective at manipulating you as they were before. Chris Smith says scary that many other people I know. Have narcissistic tendencies. I always suffer in working relationships also. Due to narcissistic behavior in the workplace. Yes I mean. Even if you just look at the. Full blown narcissistic personality disorder. Where they have all nine traits as listed in the DSM five. That makes up about 15% of the world's population. And other than that there's also. Sociopathy that's another four percent. And then psychopathy. Then there's all of the other cluster B disorders. Then there's cluster A cluster C. And then there's. All of these other types of mental illnesses. And personality disorders. And then as Dr. Ramani mentioned. In one of her videos. She said she believes that narcissism affects. Over 50% of the population. Especially in cities. And then there's a statistic I've seen as well. That said that 96%. Of families in the world are dysfunctional. So you will find. As the psychologist Ross Rosenberg as well mentioned. In one of his videos. That once you heal from narcissistic abuse. You will look around and you will feel like. You see narcissists everywhere. And of course as he mentioned the reason why. Is because a lot of times yes you are seeing narcissists. Everywhere. They are everywhere. And you will notice that as you begin to heal. And you practice self love. Because self love is your greatest defense against them. Treaser made of words asks. Do they ever really get their karma. They seem to just keep getting away from it. They do try to get away with it. When they feel like they're about to get their karma from you. They discard you. And then they find. An unsuspecting victim. But it always catches up to them. You may not see it as they always present the illusion. Even when they discard you they triangle it you with their new supply. But yes they are always getting their karma. They're always miserable. Just remember when you were around them. They were devaluing you they were putting you down. They were constantly insulting you. They were doing all of these things to you. And you've got to think that if someone is really happy. And they're enjoying their life. They would feel no need to put someone else down. They do that because they're not happy with themselves. If they were happy with themselves they would be happy with you. But instead they run off and they act like they're happy with someone else. When the reality is that they're not. It is all an illusion. Just as it was an illusion with you. And someone else may have seen that and thought that it was real. And now you're looking at it with someone else. And you're thinking that that is real. When it's just exactly the same. So yes they are always getting their karma. They're always miserable. They can never find true love happiness or fulfillment. And it just gets even worse as they age. They become even more bitter and resentful. They feel like the world is unfair to them. Gramma Merlo this little light spirit. Says the hardest part was realizing I had to care for me. No one else showed up. I can completely relate to that. On the early part of my journey. I guess I was always wishing that someone would just come along and save me. Rescue me. But then one day I woke up and I realized my own power. I realized that the person who is meant to come to save us is ourselves. No one else can do it for us. And in fact all other people can do is distract us. From the work that we need to do on ourselves. So see that as a blessing. If you're not distracted, if you're isolated. That is exactly what you need. It doesn't mean that you have to be alone forever. But it's what you need in that moment. But yes what you really need more than anything. It's just that self love. That love for yourself. Because as soon as you have that. You will be better able to identify the narcissists around you. They will stand out. And you will feel uncomfortable just by being around them. It's getting late here over in Vietnam. There's a lot of people out here. In these markets everything. But I'm just going to sit down. And work on this video I'm working on. It's almost finished and it will be up in the next few days hopefully. It's a really good video. A lot of talk about empaths. So I'm looking forward to uploading that as well. But yes that's it for this one. Thank you all for joining me. We've got 109 live viewers. Please give this video a thumbs up down below. If it was helpful. Leave your thoughts down in the comment section. Share and subscribe. And as always I will talk to you in another video very soon.