 Well hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Assey of JonathanAssey.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic this gains men's respect 99% of the time when you do this. Really quickly if you're new to my YouTube channel please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. If you like this video please hit the like button at the end. I'd be truly grateful. Okay we're gonna talk about gaining a man's respect and I think this is on some level this might seem obvious but I gotta tell you from where I sit as a dating and relationship coach for women I just I just don't see this very frequently so I want to lean into this because I think this is an important topic and that is this misconception first and foremost that if you're vulnerable authentic and transparent with a man if you're vulnerable authentic and transparent with a man that he will run away. There's this fear that when we open up and are vulnerable authentic transparent what I mean is even when we share our insecurities with someone they're gonna run away. Now it's one of the reasons why when I wrote my book what the heck is self-love anyway one of the chapters in the book is talking about speaking your truth speaking your truth and why this is so critically important is our truth is how we feel about things it's not necessarily the truth it's just how we might feel about something including the relationship or facets within the relationship and so when we lean into speaking our truth we're being we're being in integrity with ourselves being an integrity with ourselves I didn't grab the book I typically have this handy but if you're not familiar with the book called the four agreements the four agreements one of the agreements is to be an integrity with yourself to being your best to always being true to oneself by the way if you're interested in any of the books I recommend check out the link below to Jonathan recommend books and my book is called what the heck is self-love and it's all in the description and I want to share with you in a few minutes what really gains a man's respect 99% of the time especially when you're dealing with an emotional grown-up man an emotional grown-up now this is critically important because the vast percentage of humans are emotionally stifled they're emotionally immature because they haven't learned the skills to actually lean into their own sovereignty their own self-worth their own self-love it's because the reality is is the vast majority of the population is riddled with this fear of I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable men and women alike so that fear of not speaking your truth is a very common one and I'm also here to say that if you want to shift the perspective in your relationship that it's incumbent upon you to speak your truth and I'm about to share this aspect that's going to gain man's respect very quickly in a second because there's another chapter in my book called if it's sincere and from the heart you can never say the wrong thing to the right person if it's sincere and from the heart you can never say the wrong thing to the right person so my point is if you being vulnerable you know I'm looking at my shirt it looks way too tight I put on weight since this pandemic and I've got to go back and really drop another five or ten pounds I'm so ah anyway I'm feeling a little um see I was being vulnerable right there I was literally stopped in the middle of this video to be vulnerable and that's not a sign of weakness that's not a sign of my insecurity well sure there's an element of feeling insecure I'll be rejected if I'm fat right that's that inner voice but it's also leaning in it takes a level of I like what Brene Brown says it takes a level of bravery and courage to be vulnerable do me a favor check out Brene Brown's work um on wait do I have that book handy no I don't check out Brene Brown's work on vulnerability and I just shared an example of that with you right now because if you really want to shift the perspective if you want to shift your relationship then it's incumbent upon you to do the following if you want to gain someone's respect vulnerability authenticity transparency but more so in relationship is establishing your standard what is your standard what it is that you want when you're exploring this time together what do you really want and I'm here to say that most women and sometimes I yell I'm yelling because because imagine a child is about to touch their hand in fire right there they're they're about to burn themselves I'm yelling because I just want to wake things up shake things up and one of the things I'd like to encourage you to do is read this book called Eight Dates by Dr. John and Julie Gottman Eight Dates by Dr. John and Julie Gottman the link below to Jonathan recommend books lists all my books that I recommend why this is so important is because it's going to help you establish the standard of what it is you want in relationship ladies this this haphazard way of dating is of just let's just have fun let's just have fun it's all about having fun let's just have a lot of fun and then what happens later is you get attached to someone who's not compatible with you or doesn't want the same things with you same doesn't have the shared vision of a relationship with you so I want to incumbent be I want to encourage you to establish what it is you want in relationship and express it very early on because when you're vulnerable authentic and transparent only the wrong guy is going to run away now if a man isn't ready for commitment you're not saying I want commitment today you're saying this is why I'm exploring a relationship with you I'm well I would like everyone to say this on the next time you're talking to a brand new guy write down the words would you be interested in exploring a relationship with me not not the first or second you know date but at some point because that takes a whole different shift of perspective and only a man who will who likes you and respects you will lean into that conversation you don't need to lean back and just be all in your feminine it's I mean I'm I'm encouraging everyone to be kind compassionate nice that's not masculine or feminine that's just being a good human being and I want to encourage you all to do that but I want you to really lean because we can call the following masculine when you set your standard right off the bat we can call that masculine but guess what we're gonna get you're gonna gain a man's respect if he genuinely likes you and he's an emotional grown-up at the same time is this sinking in I hope it is I'm only yelling because I want to make sure it sinks in all right thanks for allowing me to share this with you I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic John the bear hug of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a teddy bear or we'll get salty this time we'll grab salty this time hey give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives thanks a bunch bye bye now