 On this week's show, a well-crafted thriller goes up against Annabelle. Welcome to another one-sided argument on Movie Feud. Talent goes a long way, and the Conjuring has no shortage of it. Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson play paranormal investigators Lorraine and Ed Warren. Much like many other films dealing with demons and poltergeists, the spiritual counselor or experts tend to be my favorite characters. That remains true here. I find it interesting watching these experts in the field trying to work out these mysteries. Outside of their gadgets and specialized tools, Lorraine possesses a special ability. She can get glimpses into the past and communicate with the dead on a certain level. This, of course, has taken a toll on her, and the movie gives us snippets of her history and the profession. It's a shame it's not further expanded in this picture, but I suppose that's what the sequels are for. The family being tormented is well-rounded, too. Lily Taylor, who is no stranger to horror flicks, plays the mother. Office Spaces Ron Livingston is her husband and father of five young girls. They are pretty cliched, but that's kind of par for the course with these types of films. The young girl, of course, befriends a ghost. The eldest teen daughter has a bit of an attitude but isn't outright mean or annoying to watch. They also have a dog, which every audience member knows will be first to be murdered, as this is often the case. It is tastefully done, though, without any gratuitous blood or excessive violence, which is a welcome change. Big takeaway? This is a believable family that makes mostly rational decisions given the events they are experiencing. Annabelle is the complete opposite across the board. Our two leads are basically Ken and Barbie dolls, going by the names of John and Mia. These are the least entertaining actors I've seen in a film in quite a long time, and I knew I had seen that actress before somewhere, but I couldn't quite place it. So I went back through my catalog of recent mediocre acting performances, and there she was, front and center, co-star to Tom Cruise and The Mummy. Both of these actors are very nice on the eyes, but they bring nothing to the table. A priest played by Tony Amandala shows up late into the game, brings a bit more life into the picture, but it's not enough. And now I'm just realizing that his last name starts with the word Amen. Were these actors just picked based on word association to their character? I think that's entirely what happened. Amandala? He's a priest. He's got to be the priest. His name starts with Amen. This actress is Annabelle? Well, she's going to be haunted by a doll of the same name. This is perfect. Hello, I'm Charles Conjurington. I'll be trying out for the role of the father. His last name as Conjuring in the title? Hire this man! Elfrey Woodard shows up in the final act as the role of Deus Ex Machina. Where Annabelle easily loses in its protagonist, it could have made up for in its creepy villain, as the title doll is one ugly, disturbing motherfucker. It ultimately fails here too, though, as the doll does nothing but rock in a chair for several minutes and levitates in the final act. Scary stuff. No eye-blinking. No slow head turn. Nothing. The Conjuring is at its best when the demon is kept in the shadows behind a door or in a hole in the wall. When we see it in a human form, it often looks silly. A few times, the witch looked like a man in drag, like he was cosplaying her, and it took me out of the picture. I got a few chuckles unintentionally, but that's the problem with horror films in general. There's a fine line between comedy and scares, and both these films unfortunately have a bit of both. The Conjuring is based on a true story, following the events of the parent family and their stay at the house. This isn't the first time the warrants have had a film made after their crazy antics, but I still don't believe it. That said, they do spin an interesting yarn. Upon arriving at their new home, the parents are slowly introduced to the previous owner, as it screws with them nightly. Things range from pretty standard ghost stuff, like doors opening and closing on their own, but they get aggressive pretty quickly, like the suspicious bruises being seen on the wife's body, and playing the clapping game with the family with not even being invited. Not cool. Not cool. Not cool. At one point, all the family portraits fall down the stairwell to a very loud and crashing end. The mother immediately wakes up, as any normal person would, but the five children are somehow unfazed. Stood out like a sore dick to me. I know it's a small gripe, especially when you consider the shit that goes on in Anna Hell. I call it Anna Hell now, instead of Annabelle. For that one time only. And then the explanation that came quickly after. Mia is pregnant with a child that better fucking like dolls, as she has decorated the new room with an assortment of scary, dead-eyed girls. Her husband, I think they're married, but I'm not quite sure or care, surprises her with the fuggliest of them all. At this point, the doll is harmless, outside of looking like the devil reincarnate. This all changes when some crazy door-to-door Satanists attack the family, and one of them, who is the human version of Annabelle, not to be confused by the actress Annabelle, or the doll, which has no name at this point, kills herself. Some of the blood trickles into Annabelle's orifices, her eyes, ears, nose, mouth, vaginal area, and she becomes the doll. Not only does this give her one hell of a blood transfusion, but also that of the soul. Annabelle's a bit of a bitch when she gets into this doll. She wreaks all sorts of havoc. Deem and Annabelle requires a sacrificial death in order to stop haunting this small family. The dumbest part of this flick is when Ken and Barbie move to California with their infant girl. The father threw Annabelle away at the old house, and somehow it shows up at the new place, and they just accept it. Oh, I thought I threw her out, but I don't remember. It was so long ago, was it? Was it? And how do you not remember that? It's a giant fucking doll that you shoved in a small trash can. It's the ugliest doll ever created. You don't remember throwing it away. I think I would remember throwing away a doll that's got blood all over her from a woman who killed herself in your house. The wife sees this, and she's like, oh, let's keep it. We have a convenient spot for it up on this shelf. There's a nice open area. We'll put it there. It'll cover up like six of my other dolls. Since I'm a collector, I, of course, don't want to see the faces of the other dolls that I painstakingly took the time to hunt down and find. This makes a lot of sense. I hope the baby likes it because that creepy fucker is gonna be looking down at my child's eyeballs as it sleeps every night, and the baby's gonna be looking up like, oh, that's fun. This is how I'm gonna die. The mother also at one point leaves her baby unattended while she goes for a little nighttime elevator ride. I know parents are more lax in the 70s, but come on! Fortunately and super conveniently, Mia befriends a local bookstore owner who just happened to lose her child years back and is looking for any excuse to kill herself. It's a win-win. The demon needed a suicidal participant, and black people are so used to dying for white privileged folk. It's just another day at the beach. The conjuring ends in a far more exciting way with a good old-fashioned exorcism, a vomit, upside-down chair-flipping parkour, bird attacks, and face-biting, based on a true story. Annabelle is a spin-off prequel to the conjuring. Probably should have led with that. And she even makes an appearance here. Her head even rotates! Thanks to an interesting setup and introduction to a veteran team of ghost hunters, this universe is ripe for the plucking. And with two sequels in the can and a couple spin-offs announced, you better believe Hollywood's all over this cash grab. Saw slash insidious director James Wan has certainly come a long way since that first Saw film in 2004. I looked it up. The slow zoom-ins were the most noticeable thing for me. This dated effect often comes off cheesy, but since the story takes place in the 70s, it fit well. There is great atmosphere throughout, from that eerie lake setting to the awesome shots of the cellar, very dark and ominous. Then you have the old-school camera equipment that they do a little fond footage stuff with. Fond footage stuff, not found footage. The film is at its best when following the tried-and-true formula less is more. Whether it's a kid looking under her bed or a quick shadow appearing in a toy, it plays off the viewer's own imaginative fears. Annabelle attempts to do the same thing, but the mortal comet annihilation director, yeah, you heard me, doesn't have the right eye for the job and the script is too dumb to be interesting. Certainly doesn't help that the budget was a parsley $6.5 million compared to the $20 million budget, short for budget, that the conjuring had. The only moment remotely interesting was the sequence taking place in an apartment complex basement. The elevator door keeps opening on the same floor and our lead has no choice but to brave out the long walk in the dark, demon-filled hall. This solid premise is immediately washed away thanks to a lame exit door only like 10 feet away. She just jogs over to it. And that leads to a terribly filmed staircase chase full of poor lighting, awful effects work and shaky camera to mask a very uninteresting setting. Joseph Bishara composed the conjuring's score which didn't leap out for me, but that's because the sound effects were much more noticeable with whispers queuing in at just the right moments. Neither film is remotely violent or gory and Annabelle honestly could have been PG-13. It didn't even muster a scare out of me and it's very tame across the board. I've shit on that film enough, let's conclude. The conjuring is one of the highest grossing horror films and I think it wears that badge proudly. It was good enough to encourage me to watch its first spinoff and I'll most likely see the sequels very soon. In 10 years time it'll be fun to revisit the first outing and take a look at the Warren's Room of Requirement to see how many Easter eggs are hidden in there. Give me your thoughts on Crappa Belle. Was I too hard on it? What'd you think of the conjuring? Call me, we'll talk about it. Leave a comment, vote for your winner and remember this is more than just reviews, this is Movie Feuds. Jesus Christ! Thanks for watching the video. Feel free to check me out on social media platforms for credibility purposes. Intern Sheila should be putting up some graphics for you to digest, I believe. Otherwise, you'll be out on the curb like your mom. Gotta move on. You can also check me out on Patreon.com slash Adam Does Movies. Throw me a buck or two if you want. I run this channel alone, it's almost a full-time job honestly. Thanks for your time. Sheila, the graphics, now.