 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Hehehe, yeah. The makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time written by John Whedon and Sam Moore with music by Claude Sweeten. Here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. First, a special message. This summer, four million emergency workers are urgently needed on American farms. You can help by devoting your spare time and energies to the task of cultivating and harvesting these vital crops. Plan now to be a Victory Farm volunteer. And now, here's good advice to everyone who's working extra hard these days. Help replenish some of that energy you use up each day by spreading delicious parquet margarine on bread, toast, rolls and crackers. Parquet, you know, is one of the very best energy foods you can eat. And it's fortified by Kraft so that every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. So for delicious, satisfying flavor and for good nutrition, too, serve parquet at every meal. Tomorrow, ask your dealer for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. The Great Gilder Sleeve. The curfew tolls the knell of parting day. The lowing herd winds slowly o'er the lee. The water commissioner homeward plods his weary way. Leaves the world to darkness and to me. Wonder what's for dinner? Tired tonight, tired but happy. Grass needs cutting. Oh, well, perhaps I can interest Leroy in the problem. Anybody home? Hello, Anki. Oh, I didn't see you there, my dear. How'd you go today? Oh, pretty well. My secretary's back. Bessie? Yeah, Bessie's back. Well, how come? Tell me about it. Just hang my hat here and I'll be right in. She didn't get married? No, her boyfriend walked out on her. Terrible thing. Good evening, Bertie. I'll have your dinner ready in just a few minutes. Now, don't you worry. Well, who's worried? Did I say anything about dinner? I'm in no rush. No, sir, but I know when you get home, you like your dinner. God, you think I never thought about anything but eating. What are we having, Bertie? Well, sir, there's a war on. All right, don't tell me. But I think you're gonna like it. Any mail come today, my dear? I don't know. Bertie, any mail today? Yes, it was a package came for you. It's up there on the map. Why doesn't somebody tell me these things? Package, eh? I don't know. What's in it? I don't know. I'm just unwrapping it. Who's it for? It's not for you. Well, who's it for? You look on the outside there. It usually tells. Will you keep your hands off of it? Okay. The package was a dress, to me. I just thought you might like to know who it was from. That's all. That we will find out all in good time. Well... What is it, Uncle Moore? A book. Nuts. What do you mean by that? Nothing. I just thought it might be something. That's all. What is the book, Uncle? It's something I subscribe to. The Book of the Century Club. This is the first one they've sent me. Who got you into that? Nobody got me into it. It's recommended to me by your principal, Miss Goodwin. Recommended very highly, in fact. What's the name of the book, Uncle? You haven't told us that. Well, let's see here. It's called... America... What? Well, sounds very interesting. Yeah. What's it about? Well, it says underneath here... Civilization at the Crossroads. Boy, I can hardly wait. Can I read it next, Uncle? Wouldn't hurt you to do a little reading, Smarty, instead of listening to those radio programs. Aren't you right? You too, my dear. Wouldn't do you any harm, either. I read all the time. Yeah, movie magazines. Well, I haven't seen you read a book in five years. Well, I've been busy. I'm going to start tonight. Excuse me, Dennis. Ciao, Uncle. Be right ahead, children. I'll be right in. America... What? By Lloyd Q. Smith. Very interesting. Hmm. 319 pages. Leave my coffee, will you? Mr. Gilsey, have you gone any place tonight? No, Bertie. Just planning to spend the evening at home with a good book. Why? I wondered if it would be all right if I go to the movies tonight with Lily B. Seems like I ain't seen a movie since romance on the rancho. Go ahead, Bertie. But what was romance on the rancho? Oh, it was just a picture. It had that Jack Dunlap in it. He kills me, that man. Oh? Who's Jack Dunlap? Never heard of Jack Dunlap. I bet Miss Marjorie knows him. Sure, he's married to Linda Delacorte. Who's Linda Delacorte? A starlet. They split up for a while, but now they're back together. He gave her a diamond collar for her Scotty. Yes. You see what I mean, Marjorie? If you spent more time reading worthwhile books instead of all that movie stuff, everybody ought to do more reading. You too, Bertie. Seems like I don't get much time for reading somehow. Anybody can get time if they make time. Now, I'm a busy man, but I'm going to spend the whole evening reading a book. I expect to enjoy it, too. Yes, sir. Well, if it's all the same to you, I'll take my enjoyment at the movie. All right, Bertie, go ahead. Goodness knows you've earned it. Let's go in the other room, shall we, Marjorie? Okay. Yes, yes. Let's see. Where did I... Leroy, are you reading my book? Are you kidding? Get up out of my chair. Doorbell, Bertie. I'm coming. She's coming. Oh, good evening, Judge. Good evening, Bertie. Yes, Mr. Gill... Yeah, I think he's right in there. Hello, Judge, come in. Well, well, little family gathering. Hello, Marjorie, Leroy. Hi. Hello, Judge. If you had on, Gildy, we're going down to the Jolly Boys Club. Not tonight, Horace. Oh, you've got to. I just found out this morning it's Pee-Vee's birthday. Yeah? Well, what do you know? Yeah, I called up four or five of the boys, and we're going to get him down there and give him a little surprise party. It'll be more darn fun. Gosh, I'd like to. Oh, come on. He can. He's got to do his homework. What's that? Leroy. Leroy, that's not true. I'd go if I wanted to, only I don't want to. What's this about a book? Well, is there anything so strange about it? I plan to spend the evening here with a book. Alone? Certainly. Doesn't sound like you. Must be a fascinating book. What is it? Well, I've got it right here. It's called America What? America What? That's it. America What? Who wrote it? Let's see. Lloyd Q. Smith. Who's Lloyd Q. Smith? Well, he's a writer. He's important. How do you know? Because this company only publishes important books. It's the Book of the Century Club. The Book of the Century Club? What does it do? Publish one book every hundred years? All right. It's a mighty good book, and I intend to read it. If you get tired of the book club, drop in at the Jolly Boys. I have better things to do, Judge. Night Marjorie. Night Leroy. Lloyd, good night. Say good night to your uncle for me. Bookworms. Go on, you illiterate old goat. Well, there are no more interruptions. I may be able to get a little reading done. Just get settled here. What are you reading there, my boy? Well, that's a good book. Why don't you read something, Marjorie? I may later. I'm writing a letter now. Yes, nothing like reading. What if you'd mind getting me a couple of cigars, my dear, over there in the humidor? Always like to have them handy when I read. Leroy, would you be good enough to shove that footstool under my feet? Oh, what's that? Never mind. I'll do it. I'm going now, Mr. Guifee. All right, Birdie. Have a good time. Birdie. Yes, sir? I wonder if you have any apples out there. Might like an apple later to munch while I read. Relieves the monotony sometimes to have something to chew on. Well, there we go. Good night, Birdie. Good night, sir. Kind of friendly and nice, isn't it? Everybody reading here and writing letters? Leroy, your uncle spoke to you. Oh, what's that? I said it's kind of friendly and nice here with everybody reading. How can I read when you're talking to me all the time? Excuse me. Well, see what the book says here. Who are you writing to, Marjorie? Aunt Hilda. Oh, good girl. I've ordered a letter for about three months. Give her my love. You know the thing about reading? What's the matter with him? He gets like that. Well, what I was going to say, you spend all your time running around and seeing people you call your friends. But books are your best friends if you only knew it. Yes, sir. I remember an old professor of mine at college saying to me, Professor Griswold, he taught me English literature. Oh, Grizzly, we used to call him. Oh, Grizzly. Hi, George. I haven't thought of him in a long time. A grand old fellow and a great teacher. All the students loved him and looked up to him. I was a sort of a pet of his. He used to invite me over in the evening sometimes, and we'd sit there in his study in front of the fire and discuss good books. I remember him saying to me one time, Gildersleeve, he said, Marjorie, where are you going? Well, if you'll excuse me, Uncle Mort, I think I'll go upstairs. I've been trying for months to get this letter written, so if you don't mind. Not at all. Go right ahead. I'd love to hear about your professor. Sometimes. Yes, yes, go along. Seems I'm not very popular around here. Well, Griswold was right. Books are a man's best friend. At least they don't run out on you. Well, let's have a look at this one. See what the fellow says. Here we are, chapter one. The 20th century will one day be known as the century of communication. And it's from this point of view that I wish to make a brief survey of world events of the last 50 years. In Europe, the tensions and anxieties of the 90s had erupted into flames. In Asia, the Japanese Empire still slumbered unaware of its tragic destiny. And in America, what? He's got something there. But what is it? I might just read it again. Griswold used to say, always read for the sense. Don't just look at the words. Good ol' prof. Yes, I love through the days. Those were the days. Well, try this again. The 20th century will one day be known as the century of communication. I follow it so far. And it is from this point of view that I wish to make a brief survey of world events of the last 50 years. If I may interrupt for a moment, we don't want to wake Mr. Gilbertersleeve, but we would like to bring you now some importance from our sponsor, the Kraft Cheese Company. The next time you homemakers leaf through your favorite magazines, notice especially the large number of recipes and menus that call for fortified margarine. No doubt you'll want to try some of these recipes and menus soon. And Kraft's Parquet is the fortified margarine you'll surely want to use. Because Parquet's flavor is so fresh and delicate, its texture so smooth for easy spreading and for blending with other foods. Parquet is a favorite with women everywhere, preferred by millions to any other brand. And remember, every single pound of Parquet is fortified with 9,000 units of important vitamin A. It's also tops in food energy, so buy Parquet soon. See if your family too doesn't prefer this delicious Kraft quality spread to any other brand. Ask for Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Builders leave has fallen a victim to the Sandman. A happy smile makes a dimple on each pudgy cheek. He must be dreaming. The finest college in the good old USA. Oh, he's dreaming of his alma mater. Dratmorton? Oh, hi, Charlene. You want to sit next to me? Do I want to sit next to the queen of the campus? I sure do. This morning, students, we shall begin to consider the most fruitful period of our poet's career. When Keats began to pluck with his magic fingers, the same inspired liar, which Homer, Milton, and Danny had plucked centuries before. Hey, Charlene, what are you doing tonight? Anything you say, Dratmorton. What is more gentle than a wind in summer? What is more soothing than the pretty hummer that stays one moment in an open hour? Having a windy roast tonight, you want to go? Pick you up right after supper. Now we ask ourselves, what is the poet's meaning in the passage we have just heard? Mr. Guilders-Leave, can you tell us? Me? You're the only Guilders-Leave in this class, are you not? Well, I... yes, sir. Well, then give us your notion of the poet's meaning in this passage. Was it something about life? Mr. Guilders-Leave, I would like to see you in my study day to clock this evening. Yes, sir. Mr. Guilders-Leave, I regret that I have found it necessary to send for you. The fact is, however, that your work in my class thus far would be a disgrace to us half or more in high school. But, Professor... Your knowledge of English literature is infinitesimal. Your appreciation of poetry is microscopic. In addition, you're inattentive, and your spelling is atrocious. Professor... And unless you can show a marked improvement in your work, I shall be compelled to place you on probation. Probation? That would mean I'd have to resign as assistant manager of the golf team. Sorry, Mr. Guilders-Leave. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. Whatcha fall? Zerp? Uh, most have dropped off there for a minute. Where's... oh, yes. I was reading. Book. Yes, yes. The 20th century will one day be known as the century of communication. By George, that's a good thought. Deep but good. Kind of stuffy in here. Maybe I ought to get a little air. I'll just... oh! Foot's gone to sleep. Pins and needles. Did you call Uncle Mort? I thought I heard something. Oh, no, Marjorie. I was just thinking out loud. I believe I'll go for a little walk. Oh, all finished reading? Well, just for the moment. Big mistake to read too much at one time, my dear. Read a little, then reflect. Read and reflect. That's what my old professor used to say. A little prof grizzled. Grizzled. Dried up old fossil. Maybe I ought to just... no. I'll get back to my book. Wonder what Eve Goodwin is doing. Might be good to get her slant on the book. Won't you come in? Well, for a minute. Guess what I've been doing, Eve? Come into the room. I've changed everything around. Looks fine, Eve. What do you think I've been doing? I've got the sofa where the table used to be. And, of course, that meant moving these chairs to face the other way. I think it's much nicer, don't you? What do you think I've... Rob Morton, I wonder if you could do me one favor. Mmm, that's... Favor? Sure. What is it? I'm just dying to know how the piano would look over here against the wall. It's only an upright, but it simply won't budge for me. Well, let a man try it. How do you think it looks? Perfect. I'm not so sure. Sit down for a minute anyway, shall we? Hmm. Guess what I've been doing? What? I've been reading. Oh, really? Yeah, I've been reading a book. I'm afraid the piano isn't right there. Forget the piano. You gods, I tell you, I'm reading a book. Well, it's nothing to get hysterical about. What are you reading? The latest book of the Century Selection. America What? Oh, are you reading that, too? That's what I've been trying to tell you. My copy came yesterday morning, and I finished it last night. I just couldn't lay it down. Could you? Well, it slipped out of my hand once. I haven't quite finished it. Well, you'll enjoy it, Thracon. Oh, I am already. I got quite a ways into it. And then I thought maybe it would be fun, too. Well, discuss the fellow's idea a little. Which ones? Oh, on life. Well, he has some very fascinating ideas on life. Did you come to the chapter on the woman of tomorrow? No, but it sounds good. Let's discuss that. I must warn you, his ideas on women are quite advanced. Well, you can't scare me. So are mine. Look, Eve, there's a wonderful moon out tonight. Why don't we discuss this book out on the back porch? No, Thracon. Oh, come on, Eve. I thought you were crazy about books. I am. Books mean a great deal to me. Why don't we go out on the porch? Gosh, it's your fault I got into this thing. I mean, it was your idea for me to join the club. Now, you've got me all excited about this book, and you won't even discuss it. I'm perfectly willing to discuss it, Thracmorton. What is it about the book that you find most interesting? Well, the whole idea. America? What? Do you think Smith's ideas are right? Do you agree with what he says about America? Well, I... yes and no. How much of the book have you read, Thracmorton? Ha. What do you mean by that? Do you think you've read half of it? Maybe not half. A chapter? A page? It's none of your business. I don't see what there is to laugh at. I'm sorry, I can't help it. Well, I'm going home. A man comes over for a little intelligent conversation, and first he has to move pianos, then he gets a regular examination. Yee-gawd! I can't say, gentlemen. I just dropped in to wish PV many happy returns of the day. Yeah, thank you, Mr. Gillisly, and I... I wish you'd have a coke with me before you go. Sure, Commissioner. Have a coke with a birthday boy. Well, just one, thank you, Chief. How old are you anyway, PV? Well, he was just having an argument about that, Mr. Gillisly. The judge claims PV is 90 years old. I claim he's at least 180. And their fellas have been joshing me all evening, Mr. Gillisly. I wish you could have been here earlier to hear some of the humorous conversation. Well, here's your coke, Commissioner. Thanks, Chief. Happy days, PV. Thank you. I might just venture to repeat a remark Floyd made a short while ago struck me as very funny. Oh, for heaven's sake, PV. Let him tell it, Judge. It's his birthday. What was Floyd's witty remark, PV? Well, he was drinking my health, and he said, Here's to you and your drugstore. May all your troubles be aspirin tablets. The point being that aspirin tablets are small. Oh, brother. Don't tell me Floyd's been getting off stuff like that all evening. Yes, sir, he has. How's it happen we got the pleasure of your company, Commissioner? Judge Hook, I said you were curled around a good book for the night. Yeah, what happened, Gilly? Did you find your brain was a little out of practice and digesting heavy thinking? Nothing of the kind, Judge. I simply interrupted my reading to pay my respects to my old friend, PV, here. I appreciate it, Mr. Gillisly. Uh, what's the book, if I may inquire? Yeah, what were you reading, Commissioner? A cookbook? I was reading the current selection of the book of the Century Club, Floyd. It's about politics. Oh, it's for the Democrats or the Republicans? Neither. It's about world affairs. Very interesting. World affairs? Good subject. Yes, you'd enjoy it, PV. I'll lend it to you when I finished it. Sooner, if you want. Yeah, well, I... Look, fellas, world affairs is a mighty important subject, but aren't we going to play any cards tonight? Yeah, let's get down to business here. The trouble with you, Floyd, and you, too, Chief, is you don't bother to inform yourselves on world developments. Who don't? In my barbershop, I hear six commentators. Every day. That's not what Gillisly's talking about, boys. Gillisly is now a deep thinker. Listen, Hooker, I consider my brain the equal of yours any day. Gillisly, I resent that. Hello, hello. Are we going to squabble on PV's birthday? Yeah, but a lousy book. Well, he started it. Now, Commissioner... I wonder if a song wouldn't clear the air, gentlemen. I have a suggestion. There is a covering in the town. Oh, no, no, no, PV. Look, I got the song. Just the song for your birthday. Darling, I am growing old. Yeah, that's it, that's it. Only let the Commissioner sing the lead. Come on, Mr. Gillisly. All right. And Hooker, for heaven's sake, try to stay on the key. Let's have the key, Floyd. Darling... With your poker game, boys. I guess I'll get back to my book. Good night, PV. Just one round, Mr. Gillisly. Well, seeing it's your birthday. Deal me in, Floyd. Good night, America. What? The makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products. Kraft invites you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. The ABCs of cooking, they also know they're Z's. The Z's stand for zip, zing, zest. The kind of lip-smacking results you get when you perk up foods with tangy, golden craft salad mustard. It's creamy, smooth, delicately spiced, can be used in all sorts of tempting ways. 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