 When the narcissist doesn't want your help, you're trying to make it easier or possible for the narcissist to do something by offering your services or resources. You're trying to give them approval, comfort, encouragement or financial assistance, but the narcissist has said or displayed to you that they do not want your help. And this can be very confusing, because you know that if you were in their situation you wouldn't be afraid to ask for help. You would understand and accept that you can't do everything on your own. And having someone who is there for us can make our lives a lot easier, but the narcissist will often refuse your help. They will act like they don't want it, even though deep down they may desperately need it. The reason why they will do this is because of their pride and arrogance, their consciousness of their own dignity. They're not going to swallow their pride and ask for help. Their inflated ego will not let that happen, and this can be commonly mistaken for high self-esteem, but they actually have very low self-esteem. They are very insecure. What you're seeing is arrogance. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. They have an excessively high opinion of themselves, and this operates as a coping and defence mechanism for how they really feel about themselves, for how they feel as though they're not worth anything, as though they're inadequate or defective, but rather than acknowledging or dealing with these emotions, they choose to project them onto you. They act like they don't need your help, as though your help isn't that valuable anyway, or as though they value different things other than whatever you might be successful in. This is to invalidate you. This is to make you feel like you're nothing. They are trying to project their emotions onto you, which again operates as a coping and defence mechanism for how they really feel about themselves. To accept your help, the narcissist would have to let go of their pride and arrogance. They would have to let go of their dignity, and that's just something that a narcissist isn't going to do. They've already abandoned who they really are. They don't want anything to do with their true self. They'd rather exist in their fantasy world when nothing is wrong with them and where everything is wrong with you. When you're offering your help to the narcissist, it's like you're making them choose between you and their false self, and a narcissist is not going to choose anyone or anything over their false self. If they did that, it would be the beginning stages of their healing from NPD, because that would be acceptance. That would be them accepting that maybe they're not perfect. Maybe they do need to make some positive changes or adjustments, but that's not going to happen. Without the false self, the narcissist would feel like they don't even exist. When you challenge their false self, it triggers them to fall back into who they really are. Their true identity, which they despise and try to get rid of, and when you trigger them to fall back into the true self, it triggers a narcissistic injury, which will be followed by narcissistic rage, and then they're going to be in their feelings. You're not going to get any sense out of them. They're just going to see it as though you're trying to attack or offend them. They're not going to look themselves and see that they are the problem, or that they need to make some changes or adjustments. Their disorder is designed to protect them from themselves, because what injures them more than anything is themselves. They hate who they really are. When you offer them help, it's like you're telling them that their false self isn't who they really are. You're triggering them to fall back into their true self, which only makes them feel like you're trying to attack or offend them. They don't see it as though you're trying to help them, and they have difficulty trusting people anyway. They're going to assume that you're just trying to take advantage of them while they're in this difficult situation. They don't believe that what you're doing is genuine, because they know that they would never do that for you, whenever you needed their help. They probably walked all over you, unless they thought they could get someone out of it. And that's why they will assume that you're going to do the same to them. They're going to look at it like, why would you even want to help them? After everything they did to you, they know they don't deserve your help, and they're not going to let go of their pride and arrogance to let you help them. Thank you for watching. I hope this video wears out with you. Please like, comment, share, and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at nagsforevercoaching at gmail.com. Thank you for watching, and I'll talk to you soon.