 Hello everybody, it's not over sold back here with another video and Today, I thought I would talk about things I've learned in 2018 And it wasn't a lot and I'm gonna be totally honest with you I probably haven't like fully comprehended all of these cuz I'm still a dumb bitch, but um, you know, I I feel like I Feel like I got some of these things down at least and I got exactly three of them because that's the amount of Speedpaints you're gonna be watching. So I hope you guys enjoy So the first thing I learned this year was living my life on my own productive schedule And what this basically means is that when I first graduated high school It was the most dreadful thing I had ever been through of that year at least um And that might sound like nothing But when I graduated high school, I had no idea what I was gonna do Everybody was telling me that I needed to go to college and I didn't like I felt in my heart that I didn't want to go To college. I didn't need college So I didn't but the bad thing about not having college was that somebody else was not going to create my schedule for me Being at home trying to work on my own and trying to create my own sort of little thing Really requires some time management skills, which is something I didn't learn in high school They never actually taught me how to manage my time well aside from Like actually scheduling me, but that's not really teaching you you know because they're doing all the work They're doing all the scheduling and I figured as long as it got done It would I could do it at whatever time I wanted But something I quickly learned when I had first gone into my vacation or just like my Full term not being in school anymore was that I had to create my own schedule everything I had to Do had to be done within a day. Otherwise. I wasn't productive every single task had to be created and That's not something I was good at at first So I would sit down on my bed for the entire day and just scroll through Tumblr Twitter whatever social media that I was using at that time and I just I never did anything with my time Which is why I wasn't productive for a little while. I think even in July. I went MIA That you'll actually see I'll talk about that later on Because I I just didn't do anything and I didn't think I needed to do anything And I wasn't used to doing anything outside of what I really had to do So just I wasn't productive And so what I had to do was I kind of had to make to-do lists for myself and make sure that everything on that to-do List got done and make sure that I kept myself up to my own standards Which is why I still post once a week as opposed to how I used to post like never Because I actually had to keep myself doing things and the way that I learned how to do that Was just to instill some sort of force in me that made me do things and I still don't know what it is Maybe it was a sheer panic of like my parents disapproving of me or my entire family disapproving of me because I didn't go to college And I wasn't gonna be anything if I didn't actually hustle So I had to try and so graduating really kicked that into gear and it took away the the time schedule that school gave to Me and made me do my own The second thing that I learned how to do in 2018 sort of I guess I'm still not perfect at it Was keeping my creative flow So I was talking about how I went basically missing in action in July I didn't post anything and so I actually made this graphic a poster right here I actually made this graphic where I showed all of the artwork I did once a month and I think it's supposed to show how you improved except I didn't really improve I just kind of drew and hoped for the best but I mean I Didn't know how to keep myself drawing and that's something that's also evident in my Instagram if you were to go on my Instagram I didn't post some months. I posted just once in one month or twice in one month And that's not good when you're trying to keep your your artistry business going You know, it's not it's not gonna be good because then people are gonna look at your Instagram or your YouTube And they're gonna be like, oh, she hasn't posted in a few months I guess I shouldn't follow her cuz she's inactive. So you really got to keep on top of yourself If you're gonna do something like that. So in order to keep my creative flow Um, I had to tell myself that I was excited about doing whatever I was doing Like for example, if I wanted to draw, I had to tell myself like, oh, yeah, it's gonna be fun drawing Come on, Lonnie. It's gonna be you're gonna have a good time drawing. Let's draw. It's gonna be good And in that way, I was sort of able to trick myself that What I was doing was exciting and fun and then I would want to do it Because the biggest thing for me was getting stuck on social media because I Felt like laying in bed and scrolling through social media would be way more fun than ever doing artwork Which was my biggest problem is that I wasn't doing artwork because I preferred laying in bed But if I told myself that it was gonna be fun and that I was gonna have a good time doing it Then I could keep myself going which is I think kind of why I even finished october Was because half the time I was telling myself. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be fun Then product is gonna be exciting drawing today is gonna be exciting And I was able to sort of trick myself into working and being productive and I still sort of use that now So that I can continue to post monthly or weekly. Yeah weekly. I post weekly. I don't post monthly. Trust me guys But um And that with that, you know, I I stopped not posting once a month I think I post at least four times a month now if anything because I do a once a week sort of thing But hopefully it's gonna I keep myself on this because I do want to go forward with an art career And that means I gotta stay on top of myself, you know, it's gotta it's gotta be consistent. It's gotta be consistent, you know This one this last one isn't completely related to art It's just kind of something that was a huge thing for me that I learned back in 2018 or you know in 2018 since we're still here Um, I had to learn how to calm my overactive brain and be less anti social So I didn't talk to very many people and I didn't have a whole bunch of friends because I was too afraid to talk to them I always thought that they never that they didn't like me as soon as they met me that they thought I was weird That I was being too overbearing and so I would keep myself from a lot of social interaction because of this so I I would like get in conversations and halfway through the conversation It would go silent and awkward just because I couldn't figure out what I was gonna say and I felt like every next word needed to be calculated when it really did it So something big that I had to learn was to just like get out of my own head and realize that people don't hate me as much as I think they hate me and Keep myself from getting that social anxiety and just talk with people and realize That people are probably more concerned about what they are saying more than what you're saying And a huge thing for me was intimidation By pretty people and not that they were trying to intimidate me or that they were intentionally being really mean to me It's just I was really intimidated by pretty women especially because I always felt like I was lesser than them that I just wasn't as pretty and I shouldn't have been talking to them And maybe that's like an old way of thinking but like my little stupid brain was like Yep, that's the way we think now pretty people are not to be messed with So I would also hold myself back from talking to a lot of like influential people like I knew some people that had done big things and I didn't want to talk to them because either they were successful or they were pretty And that also kept me from a lot of opportunities, you know And that's something that I also had to work through by just forcing myself to talk to these people Whether I wanted to or not and holding a conversation with them And what I found was that it actually wasn't that bad as soon as I got out of my own head And I got out of me thinking that they hated me all the time. It sort of got a little bit better And I'm still guilty of this. I still hold myself back from a lot of social situations But I've gotten a lot better with it and I talk to a lot more people now and hopefully I'm just I just seem less like an awkward turtle around them like before this I was probably less pleasant to talk to you because I was just so nervous But now that I'm less nervous now that I don't care as much as what people think of me It's made it a lot easier to communicate and probably a lot easier for people to talk to me or you know, I hope So these were three things that I learned in 2018 guys and I hope you guys enjoyed And let me know what you guys want to see me draw in the comment section below And this is the last video guys that I will be posting um Until 2019 so I will see you guys Next year Not next year as in like I'm not gonna post for 12 months next year as in guess what next month is 2019 That is so wild 2018 went by so fast So I hope you guys enjoyed this video and thank you guys for watching. Love you guys. Bye