 Visit Australia, the most pristine place on the planet and home to a shitload of natural wonders, the Great Barrier Reef, Uluru, Kakadu and Scott LaLume's hair, as well as a unique array of poisonous insects. You might have heard some off-putting rumours about climate change making Australia a little less tourist friendly, but don't worry, we're fixes. That's why we demanded the UN remove all mentions of Australia in its latest report on climate change in World Heritage listed areas. We fixed it, so tourists, by the time you get here and realise that 93% of the Great Barrier Reef has been bleached into a desolate coral graveyard, you'll have already given us your money. Dickheads? It's part of our Sanitise Australia Development Strategy to get rid of inconvenient blemishes in our national image instead of addressing the underlying issues. We also removed the words invasion and genocide from our history books. We now have a spotless environment and history for you to come and enjoy. Unless you're an asylum seeker, in which case we have a special package deal for you and your family on Nauru. Visit Australia. Authorised by the Australian Department of Environmental Irony and Mining Apocalypse.