 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gilder Sleeve. The Gilder Sleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. 20 years ago, the Kraft Foods Company introduced a wonderful new salad dressing, a superbly smooth, delicious salad dressing called Miracle Whip. Miracle Whip was so remarkably good that it soon became the most popular salad dressing ever created. Now Miracle Whip outsells the next 20 leading brands of salad dressing combined, and good cooks everywhere depend on it to make their salad taste better. To bring out the best in your salads, use the one and only Miracle Whip salad dressing. An air of mystery about the great Gilder Sleeve's house today, and it seems to center around the kitchen. Birdie waited until everybody got out of the house, then she went to work. Now the same gentle breeze that touched the autumn leaves in the trees, bearing the pleasant aroma of something baking out of the kitchen and down the street. Birdie's a modest cook, but even Birdie's got to admit that cake smells good. I'd better leave the spoons and the bowls for Leroy to lick. Now let me take one more peek in the oven, easy life. Thought that cake for old Kate. That cake's good enough to win a prize at anybody's county fair. Now if nothing happens to make it fall, I've got to take that easy, Kate. You're taking the oven. I know, we smelled it five bucks away. Yeah, you ran all the way. That's so loud, Marvin, that cake'll fall. If it does, I'll catch it. Hey Birdie, can we have a big slice when it's ready? Ain't nobody getting the slice of this cake. Birdie's entering this cake in the county fair. Yeah? That is if it turns out good and don't fall. I have a door again, Leroy, I'm hungry. Marvin, you're quite a kidder. Who's kiddin'? Birdie, how about I scrape in the mixing bowl? Well, I save the spoon and the bowl for you, boy, if they're on the sideboard. I get the bowl. I get the bowl. Now, if you boys ain't quite, you'll get the gate. Now, there's two spoons, so dig in. Boy, this is good. Marvin, not so fast. It's the only way I'll get in. Hmm, this is great, Birdie. It was great. Thank you. Birdie, I didn't know you were entering a cake contest. Well, I've been kiddin' to the secret. Now, don't you tell Miss Gillespie. Why not? If I win, we'll tell him. But if I lose, he don't have to know nothin' about it. Ah, you'll win. Si, I don't know you're the best cook in the world. Could be. But Birdie's like the New York Yankees. Every year, she's got to prove it. You know Birdie's such a good cook. She hasn't proved anything to me. And I ain't gonna prove nothin' to you with this cake. Now, you two scoops. I got to take it out the oven and get to the market. Oh, go ahead. We'll watch it for ya. I ain't trustin' nobody with this cake. Smell something good in the kitchen. Wonder what's going on back here. What a cake. Yeah, I don't know if I can wait till dinner. Oop. Somebody at the door. Cake you were saved by the bell. Yeah, it must be Peavey to pick up his hacksaw. Coming! Oh, Peavey. Yeah, you know Miss Peavey? Well, come in. Yeah, I guess you came for your hacksaw. Sorry, I didn't get around to returning it. That's all right. You've only had it a year. Has it been that long? Yes, it's been a year since I've seen my saw. And there's a little witticism, Mr. Gillesley. Seen saw. I got it. Well, if you're not gonna laugh, you can't borrow my saw again. All right, Peavey. That's the last time you will see my saw. Peavey, please. I tell you, Birdie's cooking up something in the kitchen. Well, she isn't here right now, but come on back. I want to show you something. Yeah. The most beautiful cake you've ever seen. Yeah. Feast your eyes on that. My, isn't that all I can feast? No, what the heck? Let's sample it. Well, I don't think we should, Mr. Gillesley. That's too beautiful to cut. Oh, nonsense. Probably for dinner. Birdie'd be disappointed if you refused to sample her cake. Oh, well, if you put it that way. Sure. Pull up a chair while I get some plates. There we are. Isn't often a man sees a cake like this. I bet that icing's an inch thick. Yeah. See how it cuts. This cake is light as a feather. Well, in that case, I guess you can make the cake as pretty big. You bet. There you are. Well, thank you, Mr. Gillesley. No, don't thank me. You thank Birdie. Let's pitch in. I'm pitching. This is Jim Gange. Yes, it is. Best cake I ever tasted. Well, Birdie will be delighted to hear that. I'd like to have the recipe to take home to Mr. Peebe's mother. Say, your mother-in-law is visiting you, isn't she? Yes, and she considered herself quite a cook. She could use a good recipe, I'm here to tell you. Well, here's Birdie's notebook on the sink, open at the recipe. Well, if you don't mind now, I'll make a copy of it. Still not at all. This is flour, eggs, craft oil. Everything your mother-in-law wants is on this paper. Mr. Gillesley, you can't get everything my mother-in-law wants on one piece of paper. Have another piece of cake. Enjoy cake the way Peebe did. Say, I might just have another piece. Still an hour before dinner. Maybe longer. Birdie hasn't even come back from the market. Sure, if I eat this slice, the cake will be exactly half gone. He might as well be neat about this. Come here, Marvin. I'm here. Hi, Marvin. What does it look like I'm doing? Does Birdie know you're eating that cake? I haven't seen Birdie. Oh boy. This is going to be blue. What's that? I'm going to hate to tell you this, but Birdie didn't want anybody to touch that cake. And Leroy, I don't usually sample Birdie's dessert before dinner, but I wanted Mr. Peebe to try it. Mr. Peebe's in this too? Mr. Peebe's smart. He beat it. Marvin, what are you talking about? Look, I'll let him alone. The damage is done. But gosh, Marvin, I shouldn't have eaten that cake. Well, we probably did eat more than we should have. Would you boys like a little sliver? Uh-uh. That isn't like you, Leroy. How about you, Marvin? I wouldn't touch it with a 10-foot pole. Oh? If I did and got run out of town, my parents would miss me. Run out of town? When I didn't come home for dinner, my parents would say, I wonder where Marvin is. Oh. And when they didn't come home to my little bed, they'd phone the police and say, where is Marvin? What's this all about? Pretty soon, everybody would be going around asking, whatever happened to poor Marvin? And my parents would phone you and say, where is Marvin? And you'd say, Marvin was chased out of town by Bertie. Marvin, why would Bertie chase you out of town? She didn't better chase me. I didn't eat her cake. Oh, Bertie baked that cake for the county fair. She did? Here she comes. Oh, my goodness. Let's get out of here, Marvin. Not me. I want a ringside seat. I didn't know you baked it for the county fair. That cake was going to be the prize-winning cake. I had no idea, Bertie. I spent a lot of time on that cake. Now it's half gone. Is it too late to bake another one for the fair? No, sir. I can bake another one. That is, if you didn't eat up that recipe, too. You don't know. The recipe's right here. That's Bertie's secret recipe. Secret recipe? Nobody ain't got that recipe but Bertie. Well... I thought I was all set for the fair. Sorry, Bertie. But it's such a wonderful cake. I couldn't reach you. It was a wonderful cake. Bertie whipped it up and put it in the oven, baked it in ice. It was a wonderful cake. I know, Bertie. Yes, it was a wonderful cake. Yeah, Bertie, please. Miss Yorkie, you know what that cake is? Yes. That bread is worth a wonderful cake. You're in the fair? Well, don't tell Bertie. If I let Pee-Vee copy off her secret recipe. Mr. Pee-Vee gonna bake a cake? No, he was gonna give it to his mother-in-law. First thing you know, everybody in town will have it. Oh, I get it. So I have to get the recipe from Pee-Vee before anything like that happens. Gosh, Marvin and I gonna save you all this trouble. How? By eating the cake before you did. Yes, yes. Hello, Pee-Vee. Hello, Mr. Gildersleeve. Here you are. Hi. What can I do for you two? I'll have a double banana split. Not just before dinner. You ate half a cake before dinner? Well, Mr. Gildersleeve, did you get in that cake again? But I didn't know what I was eating. I did. I was eating cake. Pee-Vee, that was Bertie's secret recipe. It was? And I'll have to ask you to give it back. I'm sorry, Mr. Gildersleeve, but Mrs. Pee-Vee's mother came by the store and I gave to her. Oh, my goodness. And I bragged on the cake so much, she said she was gonna bake it and enter it in the county fair. Oh, brother. Pee-Vee, that's exactly what Bertie's going to do. You don't care. And if somebody else turns up at the fair with a cake like Bertie's, I don't know what will happen. I do. Everybody will ask, what happened to poor Mr. Gildersleeve? Be right. This is serious. Yes, it is. You just have to go to your mother-in-law and forbid her to use the recipe. Mr. Gildersleeve, you just don't go to Mrs. Pee-Vee's mother and forbid her. Can't you explain things? Can't you make her see it your way? I find it difficult to get Mrs. Pee-Vee's mother to see anything my way. Pee-Vee, you've got to help me. I wish I could, Mr. Gildersleeve. We'll do it. Surely you're not afraid of your mother-in-law. No, I wouldn't say that. Mr. Gildersleeve will be back in just a minute. Tonight I'm going to tell you about a surprisingly different salad, one that'll be a special favorite with your youngsters. It's a salad that's full of vitamins, and it's a salad that's good eating, too, because you top it with Miracle Whip salad dressing. Miracle Whip has just the lively teasing flavor you like, a flavor you won't find in any other salad dressing, because Miracle Whip is made from a secret craft recipe that combines the qualities of old-fashioned boiled dressing and fine, rich mayonnaise. Miracle Whip is blended with special craft beaters so carefully, so thoroughly, that Miracle Whip has the smoothest, creamiest texture you've ever seen in salad dressing. What more could you ask? Just a super salad to go with this fine salad dressing, that's all. And here it is. Start with peeled bananas that you've sliced in half lengthwise. Dip the banana halves in lemon juice so they won't turn dark. Then spread one banana half with peanut butter, and cover with a plain banana half. Place each peanut butter stuffed banana on some crispy lettuce, and garnish with Miracle Whip and a maraschino cherry. Just try it, see how delicious it is. Bring home a jar of Miracle Whip salad dressing tomorrow, and enjoy it on fruit salads, gelatin salads, vegetable salads, and on meat and seafood salads too. It's America's favorite salad dressing, but one and only, Miracle Whip. The great gilded sleeve unwittingly ate the cake Bertie baked to enter in the county fair. And that isn't all. He gave Bertie's prize recipe to Mr. Peavey, who in turn gave it to his mother-in-law. Now he has to get it back. The least you can do is phone her, Peavey. Well, I'd rather phone her than ask her in person. Is she dangerous? No, she isn't dangerously, all right. Surely she'll give back Bertie's recipe. She can't be that unreasonable. Well, I wouldn't say she's unreasonable. You wouldn't dare, huh? It's just that she's hard to pin down. Well, go out and phone her, Peavey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You mind if we listen? I've been listening for years. I don't know why you're sitting. The Peavey residence. Mama, this is Rick Curtin. Nobody here but me, Richard. Well, Mama, you're just the one I want to talk to. Don't talk long. I've got a cake in the oven. Oop. She's breaking it already. Mama, that cake is the reason I called. Oh, for pity's sake, how did you know I had it in the oven? You just told me. Well, I wanted it because the only other person I've told is that Mrs. Carson across the pan. Yes. Tell her we want the recipe, Peavey. Mama, Mr. Gildersleeve wants the recipe. Now, doesn't that be all? Mrs. Carson wants the recipe, too. But, Mr. Gildersleeve... You hold to me across the fence when I came home and I said to her, how do you do, Mrs. Carson? And she said, if you have a minute, will you step over to the fence? And I was going over the fence anyway. I see. So I said, why yes, I've come over the fence because I was going over it anyway. You see, I wanted to show her the recipe. Are you still there, Richard? I'm still here. And Mama, don't give that recipe to anybody. Mr. Gildersleeve's housekeeper wants to enter it in the county fair. I don't blame her. That's exactly what I'm going to do. She can't do that. Mama, listen, Mr. Gildersleeve wants that recipe back. But you said he gave you the recipe to give to me. He did, but he's changed his mind. Well, just because he's wishy-washy, I don't have to be. But, Mama... If you take my advice, Richard, you will associate with people who know their own mind. Pee-vee, tell her. Mama... I have to go now, Richard. Have a cake in the oven. Good-bye. Good-bye, Mama. Yeah, if it'll take you, good-bye. Pee-vee, why didn't you tell her? Like I say, you can't tell Mrs. Pee-vee's mother. I smell that wonderful cake again. I guess Birdie's got another one in the oven. What's she going to do when she takes her cake to the fair and sees one just like it? Well, it's all my fault. Best thing to do is go in and admit it. Oh... Honest confession may be good for the soul, but it's hard on the nerves. Eh, Birdie? Yes, Miss Kilsie? Hey, about that cake of yours. I'm sorry to have to tell you. Oh, Miss Kilsie, forget about that cake. I got another one coming up that's better than the last one. You and I know, but... Birdie, don't blame your people. I don't know what to do. Birdie, don't blame your people and that other cake. When you slipped in and ate that cake, that was a compliment to Birdie's cooking. Yeah, but Birdie, what I want to explain... You don't have to explain nothing, Miss Kilsie. You slipped in and ate it, and the cake that good is bound to win the first prize. Well, I agree, Birdie, but... There won't be any cake that good as Birdie's secret recipe cake. What if somebody else baked the cake just like it? Oh, how can they do that? I'm the only one that's got the recipe, and we ain't got no spies around here. Everybody comes sabotaging around here. Birdie's the afternoon with the frying pan. I feel like Benedict Arnold. I'm so happy I can't tell her I gave away her cake recipe. You know, I have to think of something. Yeah, I guess I'll step in floydes and get a haircut. If I get some of the hair off my head, I can think better. Hello, Floyd. I thought you was due for a haircut. Hop up in the chair. Just a trim, Floyd. I was just jaywalking across the street. I wish you wouldn't do that, Commish. Was I jaywalking? Yeah, the police have a drive on now and it makes me nervous to cut hair in the jail. Well, jail might be a good place for me, Floyd. What's the matter, Commish? You short at the water department? Of course not, Floyd. I'm worried because I'll be in trouble with Birdie when the county fair opens tomorrow. She want the day off? I'm taking the day off. I always had a soft spot for fairs. That's where I met my wife, Lubbie. Well? On the ferris wheel. The ferris wheel. Yeah, we was total strangers, but the man thought we was together and put us in the same seat. It was sort of fate-like. That's how you met her. You ain't heard the half of it. The wheel stuck when we was right at the top. We ran out of things to talk about and by the time they got us down, we was engaged. So that's how it happened. Yep, and the guy didn't even give us a refund. What's Birdie's beat? Well, Birdie baked the most wonderful cake to enter in the county fair. Oh, nobody can cook any better than Birdie. Of course, I don't get invited over to your place very often. Soon, Floyd, soon. Yeah. Anyways, I was saying, before I knew Birdie was entering the cake, I gave the recipe to Peavey Yeah? Now she's going to enter the same cake in the fair. Who wants to tell Peavey to get the recipe back from his mother-in-law commission? Peavey tried, but he didn't get very far. Well, you've got to be cagey when you're dealing with in-laws. You know how I handled mine? How? I moved to another town. Oh, my goodness. Mrs. Peavey's mother didn't seem to understand the situation. Why don't you call on her personally, commission? Me? Well, I don't want to get away with women. Well, I... Right, George, why don't I go out there and have a talk with her? Yeah, turn on the chomp. When she understands that Birdie has prior rights to the recipe, we won't have any trouble. Nah, and you still got an ace up your sleeve. Yeah? You tell her if she don't give it back, you'll cut off Peavey's water. Very considerate of you, Peavey, to come along and introduce me But I'm going to introduce you, isn't that so, Mr. Gillespie? Don't worry, I'll take it from there. I'll come right to the point. It's pretty hard to get my way to come to the point. Yeah, you're just gun-shy, Peavey. Who's there? It's me, Mama, Richard. Hope you like to feed on the mat before you came in. Yes, I did. Mr. Gillespie, every time I come into this house, she sticks a broom in my hand. It puts you to work, God. Just can't stand an untidy house. Oh, company. And I'm not tired to do it. Well, not company, Mama. This is Mr. Gillespie. How do you do, Mrs. Mama? I'm delighted to meet you. So you're Mr. Gillespie. I'll declare Richard. He reminds me of somebody I know back home. Oh? Now, let me see. Is it one of the Sherwood boys now? No, it's the man who cleans out my furnace. Oh. He gets so dirty. Well, the reason I came over. You know, all of my neighbors put in oil furnaces, but I've stuck to coal. There's something solid about coal. You're so right. Mama, Mr. Gillespie came over to talk to you about that cake recipe. Yes, you see, Mrs. Mama. Oh, I bet you want to see my cake come right into the kitchen. Well, I'm sure it's a very wonderful cake, but... Wonderful. It's going to win first prize, that's all. There it sits on the kitchen table. Isn't that a beauty? Oh, yes, it is. It looks just like birdies. By the way, I mustn't forget to give the recipe to Mrs. Colson across the fan. About the recipe. Birdie is very anxious that nobody uses it. Oh, can't be. Why would you give it away in the first place? That was my fault. In fact, Birdie is entering her cake in the county fair. That's exactly what I plan to do. Can you see what I mean, Mr. Gillespie? Yeah, I think I do. But Mama, since it's Birdie's mystery recipe... There's no mystery about it. It's written right here on a piece of paper. But Birdie... I've never seen a cook yet who wasn't planted if somebody wanted her favorite recipe. But in this case... Of course, she may not admit it. Like the woman back home, what is her name? She's a member of my sewing circle. What is her name? Well, it'll come to you. It is safe, so put out with myself for not remembering. Anyway, when I came here to visit Richard, she sent me a postcard. Now, where did I put that postcard? Well, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it right now. Let's get back to Birdie. Excuse me just a minute. I'll find that postcard. What is her name? Phoebe, I give up. That's what it says. Richard! Yes, Mama? Well, I think about it. Will you put my cake in the cupboard? Very well, Mama. I'd like to have a piece of this cake. Too bad she's sending it to the fair. Well, George is known ever. Something has to happen to that cake. Phoebe! How about letting me put the cake in the cupboard? I'm taller than you. You're taller than me. Of course, if I should drop it, it would be an accident. It wouldn't be an accident. All right. You'll let go of the cake, Phoebe. Mr. Gilderstein, on second thought, Mama asked me... Give me the cake, Phoebe! Mr. Gilderstein! Oh! Look at that, all over the floor. Yeah, I'll take the blame. Richard, what was that craze? No, that ticket. Sorry, Mama. I dropped the cake. Oh, what a pity. Well, Richard, you won't have any for dinner. That cake was for my dinner? Well, I thought you were going to compete with Birdie in the county fair. Oh, I wasn't going to enter it in your fair. You weren't? No, this was a test cake. When I get home, I'm going to bake one for my county fair. Oh, that's different. Yes. Richard, get the broom and sweep up. I've got the broom and I'm going to mop up. Phoebe! Put down that broom! The Grave Gilder's Leave will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Mom, make that job of sandwich fixing for the lunchbox for Gade Easier. Post a list of favorite sandwich fillers in the kitchen, so you won't find yourself out of ideas at the last minute. And for your egg salad, meat salad, or anything else, you'll have to go to the kitchen and for your egg salad, meat salad, or seafood salad fillers, be sure you use the salad dressing everyone likes. Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. Miracle Whip has a wonderful, lively, teasing flavor. A flavor millions call just right. For truly delicious sandwiches, get the one and only Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. Cake won first prize at the fair. Yes, Birdie. My cake took the blue ribbon as it's a fair. I heard about that. Congratulations, Birdie. Hey, where is the cake? Oh, I gave it away. You gave it away, Birdie? Yes, I gave it to Mr. Teasley and his mother-in-law. You did? Yes. When you dropped her cake, he was trying to do the right thing by me, so I tried to do the right thing by you. Yeah, thanks, Birdie. Why doesn't somebody do the right thing by me? I haven't even tasted the cake. I'll bake you another one, Leroy. Birdie's Fried Women's Cake. Say, the craft people will be interested in Birdie's cake recipe. And I'll bet all of our friends will, too. So listen in next week, everybody, and see what happens. Have your ears glued to the radio. Won't that be uncomfortable? Leroy. Good night, folks. This is Christopher Patterson and Dick Lagrange, musical composition by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the craft foods company, makers of the famous line of craft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Kilda Sleeves. You know, done up just right, a delicious hamburger can be truly a gourmet's delight. A big deal in eating pleasure. Of course, just about every good cook knows that a dash of craft prepared mustard is a great hamburger. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Craft mustard naturally. There are two kinds of craft prepared mustard. Mild craft mustard, if you like it smooth and delicately spiced. Snappy craft mustard with horseradish added, if you like it zippy. Get both kinds of craft prepared mustard at your food store. Tonight, enjoy You Bet Your Life with Groucho Marx on NBC.