 Ladies and gentlemen, Colgate Dental Cream presents the Dennis Day Show, written by Frank Galen. With Dinktrop, Charles Danton the Orchestra, yours truly, Vern Smith, and starring our popular young singer in A Day in the Life of Dennis Day. Twice a day and before every date, use Colgate Dental Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Here's Dennis singing Linda. Go to sleep, I never count sheep. I count all the charms about Linda on the street. My heart skips a beat. I say to myself, if only she'd smile, I'd stop her a while. The star begins to shine. Lucky brains to shine. With one lucky brain. No other toothpaste does a better job of cleaning your teeth than Colgate Dental Cream. For Colgate Dental Cream has a safe polishing agent that cleans your teeth both gently and thoroughly, brings out their natural sparkle and beauty. And scientific tests prove that Colgate Dental Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. Yes, actual scientific tests prove conclusively that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate Dental Cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. Colgate Dental Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. Nationwide tests of leading toothpaste prove that Colgate Dental Cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So try Colgate Dental Cream to bring out the natural sparkle and beauty of your teeth. For a wake-up flavor you'll thoroughly enjoy. And use Colgate Dental Cream twice a day and before every date to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Well, just about the last person in the whole world you'd suspect of being up to something devilish is the husband of our young hero's landlady. Loyal, dutiful, steady, fearful Mr. Anderson. But his daughter, Mildred, has been far from satisfied with her father's behavior during the past week, and so this morning she's decided to broach the subject to her boyfriend, Dennis Day, in his room. Dennis, what are you doing? Oh, listening to the radio. To the radio? Oh, I don't hear anything. Oh, Fred Allen's on. Off I want to talk to you. Okay. You noticed anything odd or unusual about Dad lately? You're Dad? No, Mildred, why? Well, he's been acting strangely all week. Gee, really? He hasn't been near Mother for whole days at a time. And besides that, he's been acting strangely, huh? Never see him anymore. While at dinner he barely gets through the first course before he disappears somewhere. I don't understand it. Me either. He certainly should be used to the food by now. Isn't the food my father's up to something? Oh gosh, you really think so? I do. Dennis, you don't su- Oh no. No, it's impossible. Well, that's silly. Nothing is impossible. What were you thinking of? Another woman. Big pardon, I was wrong. Of course, it's utterly fantastic. Ridiculous. Still? Yeah, spring, and you know what they say about young men and their fancy. But Dad's not a young man, Dennis. Well, sometimes even his type runs across something fancy. Might be an affair, D'Amour. Well, I don't know whether she's French or not. But you do think he might be interested in another woman? Oh, Dennis, I can't believe it. Me either, really. But Dennis, we've simply got to know the truth. Yeah. If it's what we suspect, we might be able to break it up before Mother hears about it. Think what'll happen to her if she finds out about my father. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes either. Now, look, Daddy's in the next room. You're going in there and find out what he's up to. You mean right now? Yes, only for heaven's sakes, be tactful. If you're not subtle about it, he won't tell you a thing. Okay, I'll kind of ease into it slowly. I can be pretty sly, you know. Good. I'll wait here for you. Go on. Morning, Mr. Anderson. Morning, my boy. What do you think of the Russian situation, Mr. Anderson? The Russian situation? Why, it's pretty complicated. Yeah, and do you know that half the population of Russia is women? Naturally. How's your love life lately? My what? Mr. Anderson, I'm going to put my cards right on the table. I suspect you of going out with another woman. Dennis, have you ever seen me with another woman? No, sir. Have you ever heard me mention another woman's name or seen me even look at another woman at any time? No, sir. Well, then? Where are you hiding her? I'm afraid we're discussing a pleasant impossibility. Now, believe me, it isn't so. No? Then where do you rush off to every night after dinner? To the public library. Aha! Now we're getting somewhere. A beautiful librarian, huh? Dennis, in the Weaverville library, the only thing you'll find well stacked are the books. Well, what do you do at the library then? Well, now, if you'll promise me to keep it a secret, I'll tell you. Oh, sure. I promise. Now, I've been looking up some old newspaper files. You see, I've been writing a story. A story? That's right. I've already sent it to True Story Magazine, and they want to publish it. Gee, what's it called? The Romance of Herbert Anderson. Fiction, huh? You have just put your finger on the horrible problem that I now find myself faced with. You see, True Story Magazine positively insists that every word they print is the absolute truth. Oh, and you didn't make your romance true. No, I made it interesting. Now, the magazine is sending a man here to authenticate my story before they publish it. Well, can he find anything false? I mean, just what did you say? Well, I describe myself as a man of 50 with a desirable wife. You're dead. I could get by with that, but you see, as an added touch, I mentioned our children. Oh, one daughter could hardly be considered children, huh? Exactly. Well, maybe you could say it was a little mistake that you lost count. Hardly, because I describe the other child in considerable detail. A boy, I said it was, a brilliant boy who, less than a year ago, had received his doctorate from Harvard. Gee, you are in a mess. When will this fellow from True Story be here? This afternoon, according to the wire I got. This afternoon? Gosh, even if Mrs. Anderson presented you with a son right now, he could never get through Harvard in time. Well, not a hard school like Harvard, no. Well, let's not give up yet, Mr. Anderson. There's got to be a way out of this thing somehow. Oh, I hope so. Now, don't you worry. I've got a brain, and Mildred's got a brain, and between our two brains, she's sure to think of something. Oh, so that's all it is. Oh, I think your father's in pretty big trouble, Mildred. Yes, but there's a way to get him out. That is, if you're willing. I knew you'd think of an idea. What's this one? A state or a federal offense? Well, it's very simple. Daddy has to produce a son for the man from True Story Magazine. All right, you're the son. Me? Mildred, this thing's got to be realistic. But it is realistic. You're the right age, aren't you? Yes. Then you're the son he wrote about. A brilliant young man with a college degree. It is here that I feel we are veering toward fantasy. Nonsense. Now, look, you told me the boy was a doctor. Yeah. All right, you go down to Dr. Hopkins' office. I'll send the man from True Story there, and when he arrives, he finds you wearing Dr. Hopkins' coat and sitting at his desk. He also finds Dr. Hopkins beating my brains out, doesn't he? Oh, no, because Dr. Hopkins won't be there. Somebody's made him go out on an emergency. Who? You. Oi. All you have to do is tell the doctor someone's desperately ill. Pretend you're in a panic. Oh, that I can handle easily. Good. And when the man from True Story gets there, you're the doctor, see? But, Mildred, really, I... Oh, you can do it? Forget right now about being a soda clerk and start thinking about your new career. I am. Goodbye, Willoughby's drug store. Hello, Alcatraz. Come in. Dr. Hopkins, Dr. Hopkins. Yes, boy, what is it? An emergency, Dr. My sister. Your sister? Yeah, she's doubled up in agony. Her face has turned green. Her teeth are falling out, and she's got a temperature of 109. What? Yeah, we think she's sick. Good gracious. Has she been in this condition long? Since January. January? Why'd you come to me now? Well, today she started to complain. Could you go right away, doctor? Yes, yes, of course. What's the address? 120 Cedar Road. It's out in the middle of the woods, 10 miles from here. Good heavens. How could you have picked such an out-of-the-way splat? It wasn't easy. I'd better call the hospital and have them drive me over in the ambulance. An ambulance? Of course, yes, yes, yes. The driver will find the place. Doc, it's beautiful out. Why don't you walk? Don't be a fool. I'll go over to the hospital and pick up the ambulance there. And you stay here and watch the office for me till I get back, understand? Yes, sir. Gee, it worked like a charm. This must be one of my abnormal days. Oh, gosh, what do I do now? Maybe it's Mildred. Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Hopkins' office, but... What? Your wife is about to have a baby, and what should you do? Well, humor, I guess. Let her have it. It's a thing to say. You ought to have your phone ripped out. Get rid of the doctor? Yeah. The man from True Stories on his way down the hall. Quick, put on that white coat and put this stethoscope around your neck. Hurry now. Okay. Oh, there he is. I'll slip behind a screen where I can't see. Come in. How do? I'm Mr. Weems of True Story Magazine. They told me I could find Mr. Anderson's son here. Yes, I'm Mr. Anderson's son. Dennis Day is the name. Dennis Day? Your father's name is Herbert Anderson, and yours is Dennis Day? Yeah, he didn't want people to call me Junior. That explains your first name, but what about your last? Well, Daddy's a fellow. It takes no chances at all. Mm-hmm. Anyway, I want to welcome you to my office and assure you that... Your office? Sure. On the front door, it says Dr. Hopkins. How come? Let's let that one ride, shall we? I may think of something later. Better come up with it now. I have a feeling I may not be here long. Well, um, uh... I just bought Dr. Hopkins practice, and I haven't had time to take his name off the door yet. Hey, pretty good, huh? But why did you buy a medical practice? Oh, you know me, the man in white. It says right in Dad's story that I got my doctorate a year ago. Yes, but your doctorate wasn't at MD. It was a law degree from Harvard Law School. A law degree? You mean I'm a... I'm a... Try to guess. A lawyer? Good boy! Yeah, yeah, of course I'm a lawyer. I was just having a little joke, that's all. Pretty funny, don't you think? Ha! You bet! Yes, sir! If you're a lawyer, why have you got on that white coat with a stethoscope around your neck? Oh, that's easy. When I chase ambulances, I like to dress for it. I see. And all this equipment? What would a lawyer want with an X-ray machine? Oh, you'd be surprised how it turns up the hidden clauses in contracts. And I suppose you use that examination table when you examine witnesses. Yeah, it helps me weed out the habeas corpus' from the corpus' delictis. This kind of fun, isn't it? You don't expect me to swallow this, do you, Mr. Day? I'd be terribly grateful. Well, you do have some awfully novel ideas for a lawyer. Yeah, they come when I least expect them. You and Clarence Darrow, eh? No, I like to work alone. Who has a better right? Well, Mr. Day, true story magazine, as you know, prints nothing but the truth. So, until I can check on this matter elsewhere, I suggest you plead no lo contendres, so to speak. Oh, I will. I'll plead just what you said. You're not familiar with that common legal phrase? I'm a Harvard man, Mr. Weems. We'd hardly learn common phrases there. Yes, naturally. But you do understand Latin, of course. Oh, of course. I'm simply odored lay with aton lay. Or indeed loaded with something or other. Well, goodbye, Mr. Day. Let's not do it again real soon, shall we? Is he gone? Yeah. You know something, Mildred? I have a feeling he didn't believe a word I said. I'm afraid you're right. But there's nothing we can do now but hope for the best. Don't lose confidence. Oh, I won't. But just in case, when you get home tonight, would you bake me a cake with a file in it? Oh, Dennis, you must! Uh-oh, he's back again. Quick. Behind the screen. Okay. Come in. Now look, Mr. Weems, I... Stand still, Doc. This ain't a water pistol I got in my hand. I need a doctor. But... You're coming with me, Doc. The boss needs you fast and he needs you bad. The car just went past him and now he's got two bullets in his stomach. Gosh, I realize that drivers are always thinking up new things to do to pedestrians. I'd get your things on, Doc. I ain't fooling. No, no, no. Wait. You're making a mistake. I'm not a doctor. No? Then what are you doing in this office with a white coat on and a stethoscope around your neck? Oh, I was trying to convince someone that I was a lawyer. Sounds weak, huh? Doc, I'm warning you for the last time. The boss needs someone to pick those bullets out of him. And... And if I refuse? You go anyway. Then you and the boss can pick the bullets out of each other. I don't see what you mean. You're an excellent salesman. Thank you. Now are you coming? Yes, sir. Only... Only... What if I weren't a doctor? I'd blow your brains out, Mr. Call me Doc. Come on, come on. We've wasted enough time. Our hideout is the old foster place on Pine Hill. Here, here's your little black bag. Now come on, let's go. Yes, sir. Oh, Den is my poor darling. I've got to do something. But what? What? They'll kill him, those horrible men. He'll be dead. And that fellow he takes the bullets out of, he won't do well either. I've just got to do something. The foster place on Pine Hill. Here he is, chief. Oh, good work, Sam. Oh, Doc, you're just in time. These bullets went awful deep in my stomach. They did? Yeah, my head is split. Boy, that is deep. You better get right to work, Doc. I can't stand this pain much longer. Look, mister, at the risk of my life, there's something I've got to tell you. Shut up, you, and get busy if you want to live. I'll take his pulse. Huh? You heard me take his pulse. Really? I don't think we should remove it in his condition. What are you talking about? All you got to do is feel it. Oh. Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and feel his pulse. Yes, sir. If you'll find it, I'll be glad to feel it. What? Oh, never mind the pulse, Doc. A blood count is more important anyway. A blood count? Yeah, go ahead. Take one. Oh, I don't have to. I can tell without counting them that you have fewer than you used to. You know something, boss? I think you're in trouble. You're telling me what the heat's on, Sam? We've got to get out of here. Oh, go after those bullets, Doc. I'll tell you what. Let's leave them in. A lot of iron and bullets, you know, and the system requires iron to be... Fine time. A fine time to be making jokes. Go on, examine his stomachs and see if you can locate them slugs. Okay. Steady now, Chief. Ow! Take this. You fool. He can't stand that. Come on. Give him an anesthetic. An anesthetic? Yeah, sure. You've got something to put him to sleep, ain't you? Well, I could read to him if you want me to. Are you crazy? You must have brought some ether with you in that bag? Let me see. Yeah, sure. Sure. Here it is. Gee, I'm glad I remembered. Okay. Now I'll pour some of my handkerchief and give it to him. There. There. That ought to do it. All right now, Doc. You call for your instruments, and I'll hand them to you. But I... Call for your instruments. Okay. Knife. Knife. Smelling salts. Spell... We're going to give them smelling salts? They're for me. Well, see that you don't need them. Understand? Now, what else do you need? Forceps. Forceps. Band-aid. Band-aid? You're looking neat afterwards, don't we? We're crying out loud, Doc. Quit talking like a fool. Will you start operating? Really, Mr. Look? Did you hear me? Yes, sir, but I can't operate on this man. He's not a... Start operating. Yes, sir. Hey, what's that? Open up, here! Open up in there! Okay, you. Stand where you are and get your hands up. The cops! Gee, just like David Harding, counter-spy. And Mr. Weems. Sure, I'm all right. Well, what do you know? Sam McNulty and Scarface Fudnic. We've been wanting these boys a long time. Congratulations, Doc. Well, well, so you've given up law and taken to medicine again, eh, Mr. Dan? Gee, Mr. Weems, I bet you think I'm flighty, don't you? He knows you aren't a lawyer, Dennis, or even Daddy's son. Yes, and of course we can't use Mr. Anderson's story. But it's quite possible that we can print the story of how you captured these gangsters single-handed. Gosh, really? Yes. Only remember, Mr. Day, this is True Story Magazine. We want the plain truth and only the truth. Oh, sure. Well, it was like this. I was all alone in the doctor's office when all of a sudden, an arm with Tommy Guns and Cutlass is jumping. I fought like a demon and I was winning easily when all of a sudden one of them whips out an atom bomb. Well, naturally, I couldn't do much against that, so I waited my chance and then I went after the whole army of them. I hit one guy with a left and another with a right and a third with a right. No, the story of how Dennis Day routed the gangsters will not be found in True Story Magazine. But the story of Dennis's life entitled, OK, I'll Talk, definitely is in the current issue. True Story Magazine on sale at all newsstands. Dennis Day will be back in just a moment with a song. But first, here's a fact worth knowing. Colgate Nettle Cream cleaned your breath while it cleaned your teeth. And that's important as our Colgate players are going to demonstrate for you. Our curtain goes up on a rain-soaked college boy who doesn't seem to know it's raining. Raining cats and dogs, in fact. A friend comes up and says, Come on, snap out of it, Tom. Don't you know enough to come in out of the rain? Well, what difference does it make, pal? I'm all wet anyway, according to Sal. She just read me a thunder and lightning act. It was a beauty. Oh. So your sugar left you standing in the rain, did she? That's about it. But when it comes to telling me why, well, Sal's the original Miss Clam. Well, rain in the face. I'll tell you something. What you want to do is make a dash for your Dennis, Tom. And here's what Tom found out. Scientific tests have proved that in seven out of ten cases, Colgate Nettle Cream instantly stops unpleasing breath that originates in the mouth. What's more, Colgate Nettle Cream's safe polishing agent brings out the natural sparkle of your teeth, cleans them thoroughly and safely. Yes, Colgate Nettle Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. And Colgate Nettle Cream is famous for its wonderful wake-up flavor, too. In fact, nationwide tests, leading toothpaste, prove that Colgate Nettle Cream is preferred for flavor over other brands tested. So to clean your teeth thoroughly and safely for a wake-up flavor everyone enjoys, use Colgate Nettle Cream. Remember, Colgate Nettle Cream cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth. With Charles Dant in the orchestra, here's Dennis to sing the current favorite I want to thank your folks. Taking you as sweet as you Can I express how I feel And best and reveal What a swell job they've done Well, suppose I've invited... Dennis Day can be heard with Jack Benny every Sunday. And be sure and be with us again next week for another Dennis Day program. More songs, more adventures in the life of our star, Dennis Day. Meanwhile, be sure to use Colgate Nettle Cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth. Lovely Joan Bennett is another famous Hollywood star to rave over Cashmere Bouquet, Beau Cake. The new cake makeup sensation. Joan Bennett says, I'm wild over Cashmere Bouquet, Beau Cake. So clever, so practical, with a makeup sponge in its own moisture-proof compartment right in the compact. Yes, Cashmere Bouquet, Beau Cake. For the first time, brings you the makeup sponge right inside the case. Buy the new cake makeup sensation, Cashmere Bouquet, Beau Cake at cosmetic counters today. Ladies, keep right on saving used fats and oils. Turn them into your dealer and he'll pay you more for your used fats and oils. This is Vern Smith reminding you the daylight saving time becomes effective in certain areas on April 27th. This may change the time at which the Dennis Day program is heard in your community. Please check your local paper for the time when this program will be heard next week and each week thereafter. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.