 Black boy tell me how you really feel. I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I just want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better. I want to love better sleep better I want to feel so aligned It's a blind one time for the state of mind two times for elevated rhymes know I architected when I lay design I drown noise out of the clear blue. I sit twist the threads of said silence. That's an heirloom I am the shepherd. I share sheep still fleece funds from the have-it-alls to the matadors Who sidestep the bull beautifully to that applause around rappers a higher caliber catalog shines reminds I ain't coming to flatter y'all I spark chatter dark matter the sharks get on these dark waters who walk taller who barks orders God body garden what all the laws taught us not appear it's really fear near I pierce deep I'm revered my steps remain clear with fierce sweeps not a man here who could sense me I'm on the pier Elohim with the energy black boy. Tell me how you really feel. I Just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you I want to live better. He better. Yeah. Yeah. I want to love better sleep better Yeah, I want to feel so aligned and talk to y'all over here One time for elevated rhymes two times for showmanship three times for black hands and land ownership revolution I bring to you where they ring bling to you Nisi blues on war tunes to sing to you I am a rebel without a pause. No applause. Trust me. I must be Chuck D getting mine off Many fools been clock watching my moves and I needed a reappraisal of flavor to the time off now back Jesus black feeders Slumbering unborn off of the coffin and curtain untawn. I'm a rose that rose to etch pros and Rosetta stone Yelling to do a megaphone always rapping baby forever home. I ain't the pond calling the kettle black I'm the flame keeping the kettle warm and I am to blame for the Renaissance It's cold had the writing recited with down feathers on black boy. Tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you Yeah, I want to live better. He better. I want to love better sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned Sublime One time for elevated rhymes two times for showmanship three times for black hands and land ownership revolution I bring to you where the rain bling to you. Nisi blues on war tunes singing to you I am the rebel without a pause. No applause. Trust me. I am Chuck D getting mine off Many fools they clock watching my moves and I needed a reappraisal of flavor took some time off now back Jesus black feeders Slumbering unborn off of the coffin and curtain untawn. I'm the rose that rose to etch pros and Rosetta stone Still yelling to do a megaphone always repping baby forever home I need the park calling the kettle black. I am the flame keeping the kettle warm I'm the blame for the Renaissance. It's cold. I write a recited with my feathers on I Love you and write it recited with down feathers on I mean that shit cold And I'm the coldest listen. It's the message right here black boy. Tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better. I want to love better sleep better Yeah, I want to feel so alive supply Y'all give a round of applause to this band right now When they tell me they want to feel the cause a little more than we got to do that again I wasn't in the rehearsal. We didn't do that. That was not a part of the set list Roger was just in my ear like yo, let's do it again. So we gonna do it again. So we did it again This next record we gonna get into it since we have any message to my black boys. Tell me how y'all really feel I know y'all going through it. We going through it Black women tell me how you really feel. I know y'all going through it. Y'all been going through it So we're gonna keep that going. We're gonna talk to y'all directly Because I love y'all. I love y'all deeply and I love y'all forever and I'm Unapologetic about that love you'll be like, yo, well, you know, I'd be like, yo We're gonna do this right now for the black women. We're gonna do it for all women. I'm like, no That that ain't what I said You know, they say a rising tide lifts all boats, but see that's that the thing about that is So family lifts all boats for some people swimming treading water You know I'm saying you can't not acknowledge that If you would put a one in the chat if you can hear me, okay I'm really excited about tonight's stream. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome Make y'all sales comfortable hit the like button Let's see who's here one Rob T. I see you Paul author I see you Quick shout out to the goat a okay He is a brand new channel member and he signed up at the goat level. So shout out to that brother your Support isn't valuable It helps us do streams like this and productions and everything else. So I'm gonna be reaching out to you soon That that's one of the perks of your of your membership tears. So stay tuned brother, but thank you again Thank you again. That's it. I see you Paul I see you. All right rich. What's going on? Good, brother? I Always get to see you man. This this this gonna be a good one man As as you can see it's Thursday, but we're live. So, you know, it has to be something different So tonight Basically what's happening if you haven't seen one of our episodes is entitled Derrick Jackson, Jr It's a good friend of mine And you know when you get a chance watch that episode, but he is taking over tonight. He is bringing some of his I Guess Instagram constituents. Let's call him that but it's some young ladies who are a fan of his followers followers of his on Instagram he's gonna be bringing them up to dialogue with them and Hopefully reach some kind of middle ground of understanding. So He did like a pre-stream on Instagram a little bit earlier So he's on his way here. So, you know channel members Only for this one just to keep everything, you know, cope with static keep everything organized, but Maybe for the first couple of minutes I open it up to subscribers, but y'all kick back get your popcorn this is gonna be interesting Intelligent intelligent brother I call him a sleeper agent and you'll see why you know, he and I are gonna dialogue a little bit before we Bring the young ladies up, but I'm excited about this I'm excited about this, but as always, please hit the like button. Your support is invaluable When we really get started actually, let me switch it real quick When we really get started, it'll turn back to a member members only chat But you can bypass that with super chats and super stickers and if you are a Moderator you could also bypass that so Yeah, stay tuned the brothers on his way So this is going to be pretty good, but Otherwise if you are being redirected from today's premiere, I was really excited about this episode I think this part of our conversation was really really good. It was really really Timely, I think and necessary, you know, it's it's the thumbnail title is bum DNA. So we talked about kind of Women's choices when it comes to who they make with who they partner with And how that affects the next generation So yeah, be sure to check that out if you haven't already And tomorrow during our regular scheduled live She will be coming back and she'll be responding to some of the comments some of the reaction videos some of the chat so don't Be sure to be here for that as well Let me see am I missing anything oh yeah, so when When a poetic style shows up, I will you know We'll have a little bit of conversation just to help frame this this bigger dialogue and then I'll turn it over to him I'll be in the background pushing the button. So Make sure to send in your comments and then your questions and then your commentary on the dialogue, but We're gonna have fun tonight We're gonna have fun Let's see minister Smith says Here for the ministry stand for the sermon preach. I appreciate you brother This is gonna be interesting Maya Boyd or Mia, I'm gonna say both just in case she says we had a time on his live just now We had a time last night. Yeah. Yeah y'all y'all pull up. This would be this would be I hope even better I See as Ed says good evening you two family. Welcome to Winnie the talk live Thank you so much as Ed and you know, I've always kind of said Back in college when I first started winning the talk I always wanted this to be to become a stage, right? So I never wanted to be The face I kind of still don't want to be the face. It's it's it's a Trippy right that people even recognize me or recognize some of the guests At this point, but for me, what's more important is creating a stage for black men and black women to to better a more productively dialogue with one another and That's what I'm excited about tonight the goat is in the building. I see you I see you That's what I'm excited about tonight because I think this is a big step in that direction. So Before I bring the goat up just to introduce he was featured on three episodes One was entitled Derek Jackson, Jr. One was entitled Justin LeBoi, Jr. And one was entitled. I think it was like NBA all-star game It was like a play on that but This brother is is a goat man. This this guy inspires me every day and he doesn't even realize it But so he he boasts about 660 last time I checked followers on Instagram, you know, he's a he's a business owner He's a he's a he should be a motivational speaker. He's a podcast. He does all kinds of stuff But without further ado, let me bring up my Nigerian brother Poetic What's going on man, I'm chilling man. How you feeling? I can't complain Man, that's just how was the live man. I only caught I actually went out to eat and I left my phone So that's why I text you back so late. So only caught like the later half It was cool, I was on there for maybe just like 20 minutes. Okay I was just kind of I guess trying to set the tone trying to wear because I want this to be a productive conversation I don't want this to be one of those situations where somebody is trying to be right. You understand what I'm saying I want I want it to be productive Okay Okay. All right, so, you know to do a little bit of background, right, you know, like I said earlier Your episode was entitled Justin LeBord Jr. Derek Jackson Jr Help me understand why you think I Chose those titles Jackson is a play on My content what my content used to look like Few years ago and how it has changed and now I kind of preserve That inspirational content for the people who actually want to see that the table because I've realized Not everybody wants to see that the table and a lot of times you're you're talking Your words are falling on deaf ears, right? and Justin LeBord obviously with my content now and people always ask me why the switch, right and I feel like I kind of drifted away from that for one of the reasons like I just said because My words I feel like a lot of my words were falling on deaf ears and The other reason which is the main reason is because I feel like You're not supposed to be in therapy forever, right? You know, I was creating a space where people were supposed to come in get the healing that they wanted and leave and people Were overdosing on that shit, right people were overdosing to the point where they felt like They were looking for a perfect human, right? Nobody was good enough like the whole you deserve better just became so repetitive and I felt like I still feel like I was a Part of pushing that that narrative that you deserve better you deserve better Okay, but How much better is better? You understand what I'm saying like nobody is perfect. Have you deserve better? Sure but It got to a point where people sort of expect I felt like the audience overall the audience that subscribes to that whole Space they begin expecting a perfect human being and Even the people who are leading the charge in that space are not perfect human beings You understand what I'm saying that The king Derek Jackson was not a perfect human being like we see the scanner that he went While while people deserve good good people deserve good people But we don't want I don't want to be a part of pushing a Narrative where people feel like anything less than perfect It's beneath of them because you will be single like for your days on earth because nobody is perfect So what one of the things we touched on in the video we talked about Kind of what you've learned from You know the work that you're doing so you talked about how certain types of Posts would get a certain type of engagement of the type of posts would get a different type of engagement So like talk about that. What have you noticed as far as what gets people going versus what doesn't um? Clearly we live in a toxic we live in a toxic culture I'm like in a toxic space right now So and the more outrageous shit for some reason garnish the more likes comments reposts and Um, it's but or the more sexually explicit I Think but but we always knew that sex sells right that we always knew that But now it's it's always be it's almost become a competition on who can who can be the most toxic You understand what I'm saying and I and it's fun. I guess it's fun But like I said, I feel like people should still log off it I'm hoping people still log out their phones and and you know throw their Instagram Apple way Right go back wrong side Yeah, go outside You know say interact with real people and actually create health and relationships because all that talk to the shit is just fun For the internet to be honest. No, that's real. I mean, so like what what have you noticed is At the core because I know on your stream you talked a little bit about some like delusion Delusion is a ranger. What do you think is at the core of like the current dysfunction and the current I guess gap between black men and black women I think That's I actually thought about this question before you asked me if I was just thinking about things that I wanted to discuss And I think it's it's a very basic concept. What's at the core? I think the most the most basic way to say what's at the core is self-awareness Right, and I touched on this slightly on my live how Nobody feels like they average. I feel like once we love onto this into these apps these social media apps Everybody's expected to be The greatest of all time, right? women feel every woman feels like she's Beyonce everyone feels like she's a dime and In and feeling like she's a dime and she's beyond saying she feels like she deserves a Jay-Z but When we close our apps and we go outside All men are not Jay-Z, right? All men are not millionaires or billionaires and all women are not Beyonce So I think at the root of this dysfunction is the lack of self-awareness and the reason that I feel like it falls more But not falls my the reason I feel like the lack of self-awareness seems to affect women more than men is because men get told They hold like What we what we deserve or what we don't deserve what we don't qualify for for instance in middle school, right if the The nerdy dude was trying to talk to the baddest bitch in class Niggas will be easy like easily laugh at him like bro. You know, you know about the bad guy Like this will laugh in your face. Have you ever seen the nerdy nigga at the club trying to talk to the baddest bitch in the club? She will laugh at his face even his homeboys be like boy stop You know, you know, I got this checks and balances, right? What if a woman feels says, you know, I want to go get I want to date Jay-Z or the I'm saying them the highest earning they go whatever case maybe not of her friend go not of her friends go He might be out of your league Nobody checks the lack of self-awareness. Everyone encourages On the women's side and they go, yeah, you can do it like you absolutely can do it But men get told immediately like yo, you don't qualify for a Halle Berry. You understand what I'm saying I think I make $30,000 a year. No, he's not dating Halle Berry He knows that his and the reason he knows that it's because the world will remind men every day The world doesn't remind women every day. We empower them and tell them yes Whatever you put your mind to you can get and don't get me wrong. I absolutely feel like people should Aspire for the best that they can get right because like I said good people deserve good people But in saying that we got to understand that average is not an insult Average man marry. I need to put that on the t-shirt average Not an insult that is my message for the day average is not an insult average men marry average women and have average kids and live an average life And they go on vacation when they go squeeze it into the budget maybe once a year or once every two years But average people do average things but when we get on this on this on these social media platforms No one's average anymore Everyone's competing with the highlight tape of the top two percent, right? That's not a reality. So let me let me ask you this because I mean one of the things I've been saying to I Guess give a little bit of hope, right? I've been using this analogy where it's like, you know part of the reason Tom Brady's the greatest quarterback of all time is because he's not an athlete, right? Because he knows he doesn't run a four or five. He doesn't jump. He's not He could work on some of the you know Auxiliary things that are necessary to be a good athlete and he can then be the goat versus a Michael Vick or a Cam Newton Who rely on their athleticism? So similarly my question to you is do you think? Women who are not genetically gifted They are They are things they can do Outside of surgery But they're things they can do from a character development standpoint from a disposition standpoint to position themselves for that, you know I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna rephrase the question in in basic terms, right? So you're asking that the women who are not Who are not trying to be political? They're not fine. Yeah, I know you're trying to be good and ask am I But we have to say them lame and turn so that people that so that the audience understands true Right, so you're saying the people who are the women who are not naturally eight nines and ten Mm-hmm. Is there anything that they can do like the Sixes the cute to the average women. Is there anything what's their crossover? What's their jump shot if they can't jump high? Okay, why is there anything I can do them in the same? So I Saw why I can't remember who said this but he said if you're the most Ugliest dude in the world, right? You still have potential to be like a seven He was like if you clean yourself up if you get to the money get to the bag dress yourself properly You have potential to be a seven even if you started off as a two I think with women, it's a little bit harder But they still there's still things that they can do right so even if you're not the prettiest girl in the world Let's say that you there things that you can do you can you can You can work on your fitness I think that's one of the the most obvious things that you can do because um and again Let me say this when we have these conversations. I think it's important to put a footnote that says This is not nothing is absolute Because if I don't put that footnote then everyone's gonna feel the need to say well That's not everybody and some people and we understand that nothing is absolute, right? The only rules without an exact the only rule without an exception is that there's an exception to every rule I think as an adult we already should assume this and we shouldn't feel the need to say Oh, not everybody because we want to talk about the two percent that it doesn't apply to So back to what I was saying when we speak it on the masses I think mostly man one a fit woman So even if you're not the prettiest girl in the world you can work in your on your fitness You can work on your femininity which like has been such a huge talking point and tick-tock and and Podcast these days. We're gonna get to it. We're gonna. Yeah There and say you can just work in your ability to just be a nice person, right? They I've seen there was I was at the club on time one of my homeboys. No, but a few of my own boys Lose in a section and it's a girl walks in and this was like the perfect example of what you're talking about And it was like she just had a it about her mind you in the face. She was like maybe She was just cute in the feel like she was okay. Like she was like she wasn't pretty gorgeous anything of the sort She was just okay But when she when she walked in her aura was like yo, who's that and we both looked at each other like Oh, you know, it's crazy. She's not even pretty as shit, but she just I'm saying she was fit She she dressed herself nice She had a like she she carried herself a certain way And she stole the room when she walked in and mind you there was not as intense in it But it's just certain things that she can do as a woman that met notice You understand what I'm saying? We notice how you carry yourself. We notice how you present yourself There there are certain Intangibles that you can work on in in in in accordance to the Um In in addition to your fitness and just your overall physical presentation No, that's facts. That's facts. So I mean to to I guess segue to the last thing before we bring up our first guest soft girl era Oh, man soft soft life, man What what are your thoughts on what's going on? My thoughts on soft girl ever if I'm going to be a hundred percent candid is Kevin sammie was one That is that is all I have to say about soft girl era Like I don't care how they rebrand it and say, oh, this is it's the same thing as Femininity is the same thing as being As resting on your femininity. That's what it had like y'all just came up with a new phrase for it And it's okay. Like I think men are at a point where We'll take it however we get it if you want to rebrand it Rename it and call it something else And make it seem like it's a fresh and completely brand new idea. That's fine. We'll take it Um, when I went on a rant about how it just seems like it's the exact same thing as femininity One of the number one pushback that I got was Soft girl era has nothing to do with man, right? It's just we're being soft for us It's just about whatever we're doing this for us has nothing to do with man Let's take that like let's let's give y'all that let's say soft girl ever has nothing to do with man You're being soft for yourself. You're wrestling your femininity femininity for yourself That doesn't mean it's still not the same thing because here's the thing Men were never saying be feminine for us We were saying be feminine because you should just be feminine because you're a one Right, you understand what I'm saying? So you can say he had nothing he has nothing to do with man And that's fine. It can be for you It's still the same thing that we were saying just be feminine for you because as a woman You should just be feminine the same way that as a man. I should just be like masculine I shouldn't be saying. Oh, you know, I really want to be masculine, but Uh, I got to find the right woman to bring it out of me and until I find the right woman to bring out my masculinity I'm just going around acting like a little bitch That doesn't make any sense I'm just acting like a little bitch until I meet the right woman to bring out my masculinity No, I should be a masculine. I should be my masculinity just because I'm a man And as a woman you should be in your femininity for yourself because you're a woman But as you're doing that that doesn't change the fact that it's also going to attract the kind of man that you want The same way that men say look, I'm trying to go get this bag for me I want to get to the money for me That doesn't mean that we don't know that that money is also going to attract the kind of women We want two things can be true at the same time Right those things not mutually exclusive You can be doing something for yourself But still recognize that while doing this thing is going to help you in this arena It's going to help you in the dating market. So don't this hole has nothing to do with guys. Listen, that's fine. We'll take it We'll take it. However, we can do that. I love this I hope it becomes permanent I hope y'all rest in it. We will take it however we can All right, so so last question this is popped in my head man, and I feel like you're the best suited person to answer this question so, you know In the barbershops, you know god talk We understand a certain principle that's like, you know If a girl for instance Has a fat ass she might have small titties If she has big titties, she might have a flat ass if she has a nice face She might not have a nice body, right? So for the men who aspire to pull in eights nines and tens As a man who consistently Has been known allegedly allegedly To to garner attention at least let's put it like that from those types of women. How can You explain it to the men who might not have have have that success that you know The grass ain't necessarily greener or is it necessarily greener? Are you seeing some some drawbacks with the eights nines and tens that normal average? I'm gonna um, I'm gonna hit you with another quote that I saw that Okay, um that has a lot of truth to it I saw a quote that said the reason that a lot of men are single is because The character that they want in a woman typically does not come in a body style that we admire Say that again The character come on that we once in a woman Typically does not come in the body style or body shape that we admire as men and that's why a lot of men are single Because it's hard to find The kind of characteristics that you want in a wife and the type of body that we lust after A lot of men find themselves in a position where they they have to choose like she's gorgeous But you know, she's not the kind of woman up here or in here that I would see myself spending the rest of my life with and um I found that I found that to be um That's a that's a that's a that's a real battle. Um, I've been around but here's the thing That's not to say that there are not Gorgeous women who embody all of these things But you got to understand that There's still so much searching to do even after you finally find this Pool of gorgeous women. There's a lot of them might lack substance. You understand what I'm saying Um, I will say why is that why is that can you break that down? um I think a lot of times women who have had pretty privileged their entire life have never had a reason to Work at anything else because they're pretty privileged. It just has opened doors for them for instance um a woman who is A woman who is um less attractive She has to Create certain things for herself and her own lifestyle, right? If she wants Expensive things she might have to buy those things for herself. So that builds work ethic That like she's more humble things like certain characteristics Women who are pretty and get to just be on million-dollar yachts just because they're pretty And live a certain lifestyle just because they're pretty and they have men They have the top two percent of men flying them out and and giving them these experiences There's they don't they've never felt like they have to work on they have to do any self work because they're experiencing a lifestyle that Other girls only dream about you understand what I'm saying, right? So with that type of um with that type of What's the word that I'm looking for with that type of With those type of experiences you just you get caught up in the life like Why do I need to it's like it's like it's it's kind of the same thing when we say when when women say niggas ain't Shit, but they keep fucking the same ain't shit niggas, right? There's no incentive to change if I'm still getting what I want I'm gonna keep fucking you. I'm not about to Be a productive a good person to you when you still give me what I want So I feel like there's less incentive for the women who get everything handed to them Just based on their parents to actually work on themselves and be good people but I I do have to say this because I meet a lot of gorgeous women who are the coolest people you would have to me Like sometimes we judge women on their parents like oh my goodness. She's so beautiful Or she's probably stuck up or what she's probably does most of the time the most beautiful women I meet are the coolest people ever Like like they're just down the earth and they cool But That doesn't that still doesn't mean they have the characteristics that you wouldn't want in the white You know what I'm saying like those two things are not necessarily the same thing We can't conflate those two things like you can be the coolest my fucking the world and I wouldn't want to date you You know what I'm saying, right? Okay, okay, uh, you ready brother you you ready? Let's let's let's let's rock man. Let's do this. Let's do this. All right. Um, so real quick. Let me Do this real quick. So real quick guys, I will be in the back For the most part during the stream. This is the poetic style takeover Uh, real quick if you don't know this is his instagram Uh, and this is his cash app. So if you are moved To support his ministry Amen, uh, uh, you know support that brother man, uh, but like I said earlier We're gonna be bringing up different guests and he's just gonna dialogue with them about maybe some of their concerns about black men Some middle ground that we can find, you know in this dialogue between Men and women and uh, yeah, we're just trying to move this conversation Forward so like I said, I will drop off and I will be the you know background dj engineer So y'all sit back and enjoy. Like I said, it will become a member's only stream Uh, you can bypass that with super chats if you are a Moderator or if you're a channel member. So, um, so yeah, I will be looking at the chat today I usually don't so if you want to say something Just hit me up in the chat But uh, yeah, y'all stay tuned And uh, I will see you close to the close to the end All right, cool. Let's jump in. All right. So your first guest her name is jessica. So I'm gonna bring jessica up. Okay All right, cool What's up jess? Hey, how are you? Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you How are you? I'm wonderful on yourself Doing well. Thank you for asking So, um, what are your what are some of your concerns because I know like everyone else You have seen all the the podcast and all the hot topics that are being discussed by men on these podcasts The 50 50 the femininity the soft girl life was that's what it's called a soft girl era Whatever my you know, y'all rebranded it something else a soft girl era like what do you have any like? You know male perspectives that you want to get like on any of those topics um It's not necessarily a male perspective. I well, I do want to get your perspective and just kind of see what you think but Um, I do want to address like how I feel like men like the entitlement that men feel nowadays when Absolutely, let's talk about it. Okay. So like the entitlement when it comes to submission Um, and also the entitlement when it comes to sex Let's let's take it one at a time. So explain to me how men feel entitled to submission I feel like that a man that men just like want a woman to automatically just submit to him just I want to address things as you go because I want this to be a healthy dialogue I don't want this to be one of those things that I was just trying to be right, right? No, I I want you to actually listen to understand because everything that you say, right? What I'm going to do is I'm going I'm going to mirror it So I'm going to give you the The same logic that you use I'm going to reverse it and give you the male perspective, right? So you said men are Entitled to submission. We just feel like you're supposed to just give a submission, right? Mm-hmm Do do you feel like most women feel Entitled like if you go out on a date with a man first date Let's that's because entitlement I feel like is something you want up front So let's you the first date as a experiment, right? Do you want the first date with a guy? Do you feel like he should pick up the bill? Yes, so that's entitlement to provision I don't think so, but no, but that's what that is. Can I can I can I can I explain to you why? I'm gonna let you I'm gonna let you explain after I give my second thing You expect him to pay the bill on the first date. So you that is provision. He's providing that milk Like you're already expecting he's going to pay for things. That's what provision is. You're paying for things So you you feel entitled to that provision entitled on the first date If you're on this first date And a man disrespects you you also expect that man to jump to your defense, right? So you also are entitled to his protection and this is all on the first date So you expect the man's provision and his protection on the first date But you don't think that you should at least show him that he's dealing with a woman who's capable of submission Can I? Is that a fair question? Yes, please first one. Okay So no that is not what I'm saying what I'm saying is I feel like first of all When it comes to a man paying on the first date if you invited me you should pay Like so that's to me. That's just like that's not even a question Like you invited me you're pursuing me you're courting me You should pay So um as far as like Protecting me. I'm not sitting here saying that I got it. I first of me. I'm going to expect him to be a man's ass On our first day. I'm not saying that now if he chooses to do that as His male instinct because a lot of men will choose to do that not even because of the woman he's with but just the male instinct to have because He's masculine and men are going to puff their chest out when another man jumped out there That's just what a male reaction is. Let me address something you said you said on the first day if he asked you out He's supposed to pay you know why we do that Oh, you know why that's expected It's because we've accepted That that you that you as women you're entitled to that But if I ask a man out, I'm gonna pay if I ask the man on a date I'm gonna No man that you asked out is going to allow you like let's be real like I don't want to like Let's be for real. I don't want us to be disingenuous I don't want us to get to a point of in this conversation where you're you need to be right like let's be a hundred percent I'm not trying to need to go on a date with somebody whether you invited him out You know most men are going to be like nah like any real native Any real man is going to be like yo I got it. Like I'm paying the bill like you're a woman like we're on a date I'm paying the bill You understand what I'm saying and the reason that is is not because y'all aren't entitled It's because we've accepted that entitlement that y'all have That's not our fault that y'all have deceptive that but but this this is one of my that's not our fault Like just like it's just starting to me It's certain things within dating that is not always fair to women not always fair to men, but we've both accepted it So that's like, but that's the thing. That's the thing though. Y'all haven't accepted it We have we've accepted but listen to what I just said I just gave you two examples. I said on the first date first meet He's going to pay the bill provision. He's going to protect you if some should jump off protection That's it though. She don't know that. What are the chances of something actually jumping off on the first date? Most real men if something jump off if a negative They're going to like come on. Let's be again. Let's be real here. Let's not have conversations Where we just trying to be right as it has nothing to do with trying to be right. You're not addressing my logic I'm telling you that as a man period it has nothing to do with just because he disrespected a woman A man period is going to jump in with another Because we know we're expected to It's not about the expectation. It's not about the expectation is what i'm saying to you any man. I know Any man No, I'm gonna Can I can I talk I'll let you talk please I'm just saying to you the men that I know in my life not even just The guys that I date but friends homeboys that I have never tried to talk to me anything Has nothing to do with it being a like of course if somebody you care about is getting disrespected a man It's going to jump out there, but also the male instinct in a man when he is with someone that is a woman To jump in regardless if it's your sister your mother Y'all It's a thing with y'all It's a thing about y'all poking your chest out too and not being challenged and not letting and not backing down to another Let me get a word in because I agree with what you're saying, but two things can be true at the same time Right. It is a masculine instinct to protect. I'm not saying that it's not. I'm not taking that argument away You I agree with you on that right, but what I'm saying is That doesn't mean that we enjoy risking our lives We do it We do it because we're expected to do it Just because we have a masculine instinct to protect doesn't mean we enjoy putting ourselves in harm's way Two things can be true. Yes. I have that instinct to protect, but if a nigga is fucking um 300 pounds six seven I stand at five eight 160 Yes, I have an instinct to protect but I've already looked at this thing and said Then he probably won't whip my ass, but I'm still going to do it. You know why because as a man I'm expected to do that. I'm going to have to take that out for you You understand what I'm trying to say like what you're saying is cool I get it. We do have this instinct, but even when the odds are against us We're still expected to put our life in harm's way because we're expected to do that and we've accepted that We don't we don't get to get on this internet and say Oh, it's the entitlement for me. Y'all expect me to risk my life, man If that nigga got too much too much weight on me, I'm not going to do it like if he bigger than me I'm not no we still got to do that We still got to do that no matter what because it's an expectation of us as a man and we take that on the chin We don't want to risk our lives every time we take that on the chin but I feel like It's gotten to a point where Because it's because it's something that we've we've accepted and we don't push back Y'all don't even see That there's an entitlement there Like it's hard for you to even grasp grasp the concept that that's some sort of entitlement That you expect him to pay and protect. You don't even see that as entitlement That's how far gone you are in my opinion. Is that you don't even see how that is Classified or qualifies as entitlement. You understand what I'm trying to say Like do you do you think Do you see how a man paying on the first date is something that That he's expected to do. Do you agree that he's expected like most men are expected to pay on the first day? Do you even agree with that? Yes, because like I said for the most part a man asked who I'm on the first day Okay, he didn't ask you on a date. Do you still not feel like most men are gonna pay on the first day? Most men are going to volunteer to pay and that's my point because we know that that's what's expected Hey, so but nothing but this is my question. So let's get to something Right. You've always established that y'all are expected. You've drilled it in my head. We did it Let's get to something better Like because at the end of the day, I feel like men I have expectations in certain situations So do women like I said when it comes to dating is certain things that are not fair on both ends And we have to deal with it. So Just eat that please and can we move on to the next? We missed it was there was another point that you wanted to make besides the um Like I'm the what the reason why I said I feel like This is this is my point when it comes to the whole submission thing with women And this is what I want men to understand Please it's not that women don't respect what y'all do for us or what y'all go through for us And that's and I want to first off start by saying that I want to start off by saying that I feel like Women Need a certain amount of security for for my man in order to submit to him. Okay, right? And I mean and that's what I'm saying. So it takes time for a woman to develop that type of trust I agree with that and let me let me take one step further because I'm not sitting up here And I'm not saying that Do you should just walk around as a woman submit to every man that you meet? That's not what I'm saying by any means, right? What I am saying is because I hear a lot of women saying Oh, I'm not submitting this man. I'm not submitting to that man, right? And my thing is this you should you should just not be dating that man You should never be dating a man that you don't feel like you personally can submit to I agree long relationship. So if we just accept that premise That deletes that entire discussion because if you're saying I can't submit to my man Why are you dating him? Thanks. So that's what I'm saying. So that should be, that should eradicate that whole discussion If you feel like I can't submit to this but don't date that man Because any man that you're dating should have already passed whatever test where he now deserves your submission That's what men are saying But you don't always get those tests what I'm trying to say to you and you under and you know this Because you dated plenty of women You don't always get those tests up front sometimes things happen later on in relationships But I'm not talking about a year So wait, how does it take you to realize whether or not you can submit to a man? Um, I'll say within the first couple of months we dating if we dating consistently And like because I need to know But the thing is is that what a lot of women don't know is that you have to get to know a man And how he lives on a day to day you can't just be spending begins But we're saying the same thing what I'm saying is I'm not talking about just dating like one school people I'm saying when you get to like consistently where you're saying, I'm going to be mutually exclusive with this person You should never be dating a man that you feel like you cannot submit to That area like that's that just solves that problem right there So you shouldn't even be getting on in there talking about how you can't submit and you're not the type of woman to submit Because why are you dating man that you cannot submit to that'd be that'd be my question Because now you just pick an ancient niggas you pick in your picking niggas you can't submit to that's your problem But every woman don't this is my thing with men too, which I don't understand It's like Men do not act like they not shit in the beginning And you know Okay, so so like y'all put y'all bad shit on so don't front like niggas act like they not shit when you first start dating Are you trying to say that men are the only one who give the best who Who's representatives you meet in the beginning because women We're not talking about that stop trying to turn on women. I said men stop trying to talk about us Do you trying to flip it men always want to do that stop trying to flip it? I'm talking about y'all Men do not always show women That side of them when we when they first start dating we're talking about why women could potentially date ancient niggas We're not talking about women. Let me make the point that I'm trying to make This is the point that I'm trying to make in dating Just the same way that we're trying to figure out what type of woman you are You should be trying to figure out what type of man. He is of course people play games I'm not taking away the fact that niggas play games and dating I'm saying it's a part of the game to figure out what type of man He was dealing with before you become mutually exclusive with that man. That's what dating is about Absolutely, I So wait, so wait, so wait if you meet a man and he he pretends to be something right and He pretended so good that you didn't figure out what type of ain't shit nigga. He was until Y'all was exclusive whatever case may be at the end of the day Yes, he pretended that he faked But what I'm saying is that comes with the tariffs over you just have to be better at seeing through niggas bullshit But it's not even about seeing through a niggas bullshit You never know what can happen in somebody's life that can change the dynamic of a relationship It has nothing to do with a nigga not being shit First something happens in his life. What if he loses his job? What if like it can change a whole dynamic of a relationship? Wait, wait, wait So you're telling me because you say what if he loses his job? Let me let me be smart to that particular thing You're telling me if you meet a man today Right. He got the perfect job. He's a the right man. Whatever case maybe He was the kind of man that you can submit to right And some way down the line. He loses job. You can no longer submit to him because he lost his job I'm not saying that I can't submit to him But what I'm saying to you is that changes the dynamic of our relationship now I'm gonna tell you why because at the end of the day when it comes to okay So let's say if my man is paying all the bills, right? And he loses job and I can I can get the bills because I get my own bag So I could pay for the bills and things like that But what I will tell you because I've been in that situation before that's why I can speak on it What I will tell you is that even though I held the situation now in that regard in that time when he wasn't working We were beefing because as a man, he had a hard time dealing with his woman Taking over paying bill Okay, I agree with you man do struggle because we have an ego and man do want to be provided And that's another thing that I want to discuss Women act like man don't want to be providers. We want to be providers Like Is the the reality is just that most men can't pay all the bills But I will ask let me ask you this this question though When he lost his job, were you still giving him the same amount of respect that she was giving him? Absolutely because at the end of the day, like I thought about all the times when I didn't have it This man was with me when I didn't have it. You know what I mean? And he was taking care of me So I absolutely gave him the same respect That's that's great. I and I appreciate that but I would submit That a lot of women and not you because you're saying you did that So I have to take the word for it and I appreciate that you're that type of woman But I would submit that a lot of women They give respect based on what the man can do for them, right? So like if they were dating a nigga and he was getting a bag Their respect level was up here But if he falls in hard time now all of a sudden they talk into them any kind of way their respect level would drop them Oh, you ain't shit because he can't buy me this. He's not paying bills now. I gotta do this and they forget That you know I'm saying A man of certain character is going to get back up on his feet I Appreciate that you're not one of those women But I think a lot of times when we have these conversations I think we have it because men men understand that there there are too many women Who whose respect is based on how much money a nigga makes? And they feel like if you're not a millionaire Then I'm not really respecting you and you know what I'm saying, you know what I'm trying to say I get what you're saying. No, I get what you're saying So I do appreciate that you're not one of those women though No, I mean at the end of the day like people come across situations in relationships That's why you get with a person who to me I feel like people need to find somebody who is they're equal They need to like really evaluate what they bring to the table Find they equal and date them because at the end of the day when it comes down to money and traveling and vacations And all of that stuff like you were talking about before Like if you got some items on the same time as you y'all not gonna have them problems beefing about that type of stuff You know I'm saying because you got a person that got this either the same type of bag as you or a better bag Y'all not gonna fight over money if somebody Lose their job or if somebody got to cover it for a little bit. Those are things you're not gonna fight about You know what I mean, so I'm with you and we we can agree on that and I I think this conversation was pretty productive So we're gonna leave it there. What was your name again, Jessica? Jessica, I appreciate you for tuning in Jessica. Hopefully you can watch the rest out as I get into some other guests um Alan you want to throw some out of yourself? Yes, sir. Yes, sir How you feel about that, man? What do like intermissions between Yeah, no, I thought it was a good conversation. Um, I think she was receptive To an extent with with the point that I was trying to make with When we there there's entitlement on both sides Right, and I think a lot of times some things that men do because we're we're an autopilot when we're doing it Women don't even see it as entitlement anymore because it's just something we're just doing without complaining Um, so yeah, I think was I think was a good conversation though Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, I wanted to get to some of the comments First and foremost, uh the Sean shout out to you new member. Thank you for uh for joining the ministry, brother Uh freedmen's journal. He says keep grinding. We need to talk support black men media black male media. I'm sorry. Thank you so much, brother S dot web. He says how our host dedicates his channel and ministry to making This slash us work is amazing. Once again, Ali you deserve all the praise. Thank you so much, man. I appreciate it. I appreciate it Wrench turner the goat. He says There's more than enough evidence to show how women feel about men if they felt different They would be collectively counteracting the misandry versus calling those who do Pick me Yes, hey the boy Listen, I can't even add or take away You know what I'm saying, uh, let's see the Sean also Yeah, same to Sean. He also says, uh, she sounds hurt Smirking and smiling all while trying to talk over poetic and it's quick to interrupt him She's trying so hard to be right and not understand The male side. What what are your thoughts on that, man? Um, I think with anything, uh, people are reluctant to um And that and that's why I felt like it was something that I have to keep I'm gonna have probably have to keep saying it over and over again. I want I want this to be productive not Not one one not either party just trying to be right right, but I think she I think to her credit. I think as as we as a conversation went on she was more receptive Yeah, no, definitely definitely. I think yes certain things I already expect I think I think unfortunately that that's part of what you know, like the passport borough Bros are saying like the the outer shell with a lot of our women is so thick Like you're met with You must be ain't shit. You're met with belligerence and aggression Before you get to the soft core and a lot of dudes are saying I've worked too hard to have to still deal with that You know what I'm saying? So Now this is uh, this is this is going real good. We got a hundred and 15 people viewing currently Y'all make sure to hit the like button if you haven't already Uh, like I said earlier, this is a member's only chat again just to keep things organized You know because I trust my members. I trust my uh, you know my moderators. So, um If you're interested in a membership, just click that join button and you'll see the three different tiers that we offer Um, but yeah, we are we are hosted by poetic style tonight He is taken over and he's just going to be dialoguing with uh, some of our our sisters. Um All right, so dry, I think I'm gonna bring you up next because you have your camera on I hope I didn't butcher your name, but um, I'm gonna drop off like I said and uh, you know, I'm gonna highlight you after this one, man All right, cool. Yes, sir Hey What's up? How do you say your name because I don't know if you said it's jurei. It's jurei. How you doing jurei? It's always jurei. It's fine How old are you jurei? I'm I almost said 26. I'm 28 28 Okay, so what what you want to talk about what questions you had What questions concerns At first I would like to say I love your instagram. What's one of my favorites? Always in the coffee All the time Like I promise when I wake up in the morning for some reason you're like Your page is always like the first one that I see so I'm always like you be trying to get us rowed up in the morning And you're trying to get us high I'll be trying to stash it in the morning, but yeah, no, I see it. I definitely I'm like every day I'm like he always be on something different, but it's cool I love conversations like this because I feel like we don't have them enough and I think it's very Important and you can always learn something You don't you don't feel like I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you but well first of all Do you have something specific that you want to talk that you want to know go ahead? I was just gonna I was You don't do you not feel like black women are because I had a comment I I've had Similar conversations with my own girls. I was having a conversation with them yesterday and they say they feel like um Black women are under attack with these podcasts Do you feel like y'all are being attacked? I feel like there's a bunch of ignorant people who Have no idea who they are Let alone to be able to speak on other people that run podcast. Yes. Like I just feel like There's a way to encourage people and yourself without putting down other people So I do feel like it's a weird wave of certain men not all of them But there's like a solid group of like a few Black men Let me ask you something more specific Out of all of the More common talking points that we hear in these podcasts Which one do you have the most issue with? Do you have an issue with men saying? um Do you have an issue with going 50 50 with a man or do you have an issue with men saying? We want feminine women or do you have an issue with? um Man being average a lot of men being average Like what do you have an issue with any male preferences that we have? No, I feel like personally to each See each his own and that's my honest opinion I feel like you can go after whatever you want. You can have your standards for whatever you want um I just feel like you have to have a person or people who Agree with that. Um, I do think that You know be maybe like A few weeks ago I probably would have been on the last guest speaker side a hundred percent because I was like really just you know A hundred percent. Yeah, women. We fight them back and yeah You and do that, but I I feel like now my sister sent me um an article that this man wrote on instagram and he it basically was about how um men and women grow differently and The summary of it was that basically ran a place where Men and women resent each other and I it was very very deep And I a hundred percent agree with that now. I didn't see it before But I I feel like We're both sexes are angry at each other for different reasons like Personally why are we at us though because that's what we're trying to figure out. Why are y'all angry at us? What would it be? What have you done? Well, I feel like for the longest time, you know, it you know, just in general I think everything changed after the me too movement movement where women were able to speak more about You know the things that they go through and you know My my personal opinion our government does not scrape as a crime They just see it like even though it's punishable You know for for that crime. It's just like it depends on who it is Okay, wait, wait, wait, because I don't want to I think that's um one of the Sensitive key words on the youtube algorithm. So I don't want to dive into that our word conversation but I um, I have a question. I because you said women have been um, what must something to speak out? So I want to keep it and um, just the Right casual. I want to keep it in the just like the casual dating environment things. Do you feel like women have um do you feel like Women are just now starting to speak out because I again, I had a similar discussion with field my home girl yesterday and They were saying that they felt That women are just now getting a voice when it comes to their preferences and dating and I wholeheartedly disagree. I feel like For at least over three decades women have been unapologetically and boldly Saying what they don't like about Men and what they are not gonna put up within the dating market I would even go a step further and say that women have the green light to shame men Who don't fit their type or their preference, you know, I have women often say I don't have a problem with a man having a type as long as he don't put the other people down Who don't fit that type I would submit that women have been Doing that exact thing that they don't want men to do for over two three decades Like y'all have been saying when when y'all were attracted to light-skinned men Y'all hate the dark-skinned man, right when now all of a sudden women black women love the dark-skinned man And light-skinned men have become the butt of y'all's jokes Like I see memes all the time that it's like what I'm gonna do with a light-skinned nigga Uh, I'm not dating no Mexican princess or light-skinned niggas think they uh, what what's the chick's name? Um Um, what's her name from Nuna? What's Nuna's real name? I'm sorry Lauren London Yeah, light-skinned niggas with dimples think they lauren london like y'all make fun of light-skinned niggas y'all have no problem openly and boldly making fun of The man that don't fit your type But if a man was to say Oh, um, not even that here's the thing man Don't even have to make fun of women that don't fit their preference A man can just voice his preference and get canceled if a man says I only date light-skinned women He's gonna get canceled. You know what I'm saying? It'll be called color business and everything else in the book But y'all get to say I only date dark-skinned men and then take it a step further and actually shame The man that don't fit your preference and no one bats an eye people go and go in the comments and laugh At these memes like they laugh at it because it's funny. No one thinks it's it's bad or condescending or wrong Or vow or colorism or body shaming when y'all talk about not dating short man When y'all talk about um, man's penis size is nobody thinks it's body shaming Nobody thinks it's colorist when women shame men that don't fit their preference But if a man actually has the nerve to even utter his preference in public The world stops spinning. Do we have is there do you do you see that is am I? No, I I agree to a certain extent. I think you know, I I do agree. I mean I don't know about size, but you know, you know the height preference thing I I agree with that um, I do agree with you know, um The dark skin and the license because I'm I'm team dark skin all day always have it in so I was never on the light skin But I see how that is colorist as well. I do agree with that. I think the difference is You know women are I would agree that within the last 10 years I wouldn't agree with the 30 years thing That women have just gotten to a place where they are like like their opinions are being valued and socially accepted Where I don't think that was ever the case, you know Up until recently it was kind of like you're a woman shut up sit down You want to take what you can get and I think now because we're in a society where we're very vocal about Certain things we're passionate about and certain things that we feel it's like, you know I think back in the day women were always looking to get like chosen That was the thing is like as a woman we have to get chose. I'm gonna push that you a man I I would not because In our dating scene it is socially Pushed that women's dreams should be to get married and that would get married Then your dream is to be a wife and then pretty much your life's dream should be fulfilled because you got you got a husband And you have kids. What else do you need? What else more do you need to fulfill you? And so now and I feel like that's the case for a lot of different cultures You know, um, that's just my personal opinion where it's just like as a woman Your job is to get chosen as a man you do the choosing and I feel like it's flipped where women have now feel like Well, I'm not doing that anymore But but has it flipped though do women have the power to choose? I feel like yes, and I feel like that's why men are mad because now women are doing the choosing They're not just Are they going to choosing though because we got like we got to be clear. Here's the thing With everything there's a choice. I'm not saying that women have no choice in the matter. You'll definitely have a choice, right? But men still have the key to relationships and marriage Well, men still control that you don't even get the choice to tell a nigga. No unless he offers unless he asks to marry you You understand what I'm saying? You have a choice, but we still we're still the gatekeepers when it comes to marriage I wouldn't say that because because my thing is if we're kicking it and you're and we're We're enjoying our time, right? And you're like, oh, I don't want to get married Well, if I just up and ghost you and go kick it with somebody else and get married not immediately But whatever. Yes, but then then who who made that decision if it was up to you And you had it here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying. Here's what I'm saying It doesn't have to be me that you're marrying But you do have if your goal is to get married Then some man has to propose to you any man whatever man that you want has to propose to you So he still has the key because if he never proposes to you, you never even have that option Right So you can you can ghost me you can ghost me you can go to the next thing Say no to your proposal though, right? You can't if you're ready to get married. I'm like, nah I agree. I agree. But you you don't even have the option if he doesn't propose the option is not even there I would I would I disagree with that because because I can still say no, we both have You can't say no to a question that was never asked though. That's what I'm that's my point If a nigga has never what are you saying no to if I never asked you to marry me? You can't reject me because I never asked you If you go through life That also depends on who you're dating because if you're also dating a woman who never wants to get married Then that conversation every right that's why that comes up if you're dating a woman who wants to get married Which is why I said if you're a woman who wants to get married If you're a woman who wants to get married, which I still believe that most women are most women want to get married I don't care what women try to tell me I I feel like there's a very small group of women very small group that actually don't care for marriage And then I feel like there's a group of women who do care and do want to get married But they say that they don't because they are afraid that it's not going to happen for them And when I mean it's not going to happen for them. I don't mean that no man is going to propose I mean that the kind of man that they want the kind of man the date that that's in their head That's going to be their happy ending. They don't see that man happening for them So they pretend that they don't want marriage at all to avoid a disappointment And then there are the women who are honest enough to admit to themselves that they do want marriage I'm talking to the women who are honest enough to themselves to actually admit that they want marriage Those women who want marriage still have to get proposed to if a man never proposes to you Marriage is not even an option for you Do you understand like that's like that's not even a debatable thing I don't feel like I don't feel like men don't want to Get married either personally. I think it's been acceptable depending on who you're dealing with You don't think you don't think men want to get married No, I don't think men don't want to get married either. I think I think it's twofold. I think both sides are afraid That's my honest opinion. I just think the ideas are different I think that some women are so marriage driven. It doesn't matter who the man is what the situation is Here's the thing. I don't think it's that men are afraid or don't want to get married I think we just know that if we want it We can wake up and go get married like men can the same Let me tell you something the same way women like you women control access to sex, right? Y'all y'all Did take what niggas like if you never give the green light a nigga can't have sex with you He don't even got the option to say no That's the same point that I'm trying to make if we don't propose you don't even have the option to say yes or no So as men we know that even in our 40s and 50s we can still Go get married. We can still go find a 30 year old woman and get married. You understand what I'm saying Okay, so you're saying marriage is easy easy easy access for men and harder access for Yes, because we hold the key. We have the key Okay, that can very much be true. I'll even give you that let's say marriage is easy access for men and it's it's harder for women Okay, just because if you get married, what's the point of marriage? What do you mean it differs for anyone? But isn't the general purpose of marriage to be together with somebody forever? Sure So you can marry anybody, but what if you make a bad choice? What was the whole purpose? What if you choose wrong? If you can marry anybody But yes, the thing let me Let me let me respond to that You we can't we can't have the conversation of what if you choose wrong because nothing is without risks Nothing in life is without risk. See you're operating from a place of fear. Like what if I make the wrong decision? What if Nothing, there's there's no way very accessible for men. I'm like, okay. Let's let's let's go with that Let's go with that. I'm not saying it's very accessible. I'm just saying we can we control who gets married or like we hold the key I don't I don't I don't agree with that. You already agree with me Because your thing is like oh we Men only because that's not the case for everybody some women Some women propose to their men Some women do so you're like again. See wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Are the gatekeeper Hold on Wait, wait, wait, what are the percentage of women that you think proposed the man? I have no idea. I just know what Do you think the majority of women? So so this goes back to what I said before you got on the live I said anything that we we talk about goes without saying that there are exceptions But we speak on the masses over 90 of the time The men are proposing to women because that's that has been our our role in this whole dating and courtship And with that role give gives us more Leverage because we decide who we're going to propose to and who we're not going to propose to There are women who want to get married who have never got the option to get married because no man has ever got down on one knee And offered them a rank. Do you do you believe that? No, I know that I know some people right and that's my point So you can want marriage all you want if no nigga on earth ever gets down on one knee and says yo Will you marry me? Guess what? It's not even in the cards for you boo boo Like you don't even get the charm the choice to say yes or no You don't even get that This is why I don't agree with that You okay men are technically the one who have to pop the question But a part of dating and a part of the relationship on a woman's side is Let's go all the way back The reason why men got married back in the day like it was nothing versus now is because back in the day Being a virgin was a real thing like being sacred for your husband was a real thing So as a man, if you're trying to have sex and you're trying to have sex often often And no and no women in your community because this is back in the day Is not giving it up You're you're going to be a hundred percent for marriage because you want to have sex So it's twofold. So for men, it's sex and for women. It's marriage. That's so we're speaking on how things are No man can have sex without marriage, right? Especially in 20 especially in 2022 sex is very readily readily available for men No, but yes, but i'm saying we don't need marriage for sex You said you don't need marriage for sex. We don't know marriage for sex sex is extremely readily available No, not today's age But what i'm saying is the difference is between now and the the reason why marriage was so was so Common back in the day versus now is because back in the day It was it was highly pushed for women to save themselves for marriage for this reason The difference is now we've gotten away from that. Let me ask you something Let me ask you a question. Let me simplify this. Do you want to get married? Yes Okay, when do you want to get married? What time frame? Technically i'm already married Who proposed My husband If he didn't propose would you have gotten married? I would have gotten married Maybe not to me If if who would you who would you have gotten married to? A man who wanted to get married Right and that man would have had to propose Right Right. So my point is some man Somewhere would have had to propose in order for you to get married Right That's the only point. That's the point that i'm making a man has to propose to you That's wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. This this the point that i'm this like let me let me let me take this away from marriage Let me simplify this You can't walk through it like if if you get to the if you get to um If you get to uh, let's say let's just make a real sense If you get to a room and the door is the door is locked, right? You can't get through that door unless it's open, right? Now if the door is open, you now have the decision to walk in the room or to not walk in the room But without that door being open, you don't even get that choice You understand what i'm saying? That's the point that i'm making without a man proposing Right, so So without the proposal only If you want to get married a man proposing is the only key to that and i'm saying That's no i'm saying i'm saying that's what opens. That's what gives you the option of marriage without a man proposing The option of marriage does not exist for you You can you can scream and yell all you want if you want that you want to get married if no one proposes to you You don't even have the option to get married But you're saying that as if everybody wants to marry that man. No, i didn't know that you can ask No, no, no, no, no, that's not That's not what i'm saying i'm saying any man that you like that's what i said They don't got to be me you can be dating 15 niggas, right? And let's say you have 15 niggas to choose from you want to marry one of them 15 niggas, right? If none of them 15 niggas proposed to you, that's what you're not getting married But but but it's i'm saying there's another side Someone has to want to marry you too. You're saying. Oh, I gotta do is ask But no, no, that's not what i'm saying. No, no, no, that's not what i'm saying I'm saying that's what gives you the option if no one asks you don't even have the option to say yes or no So what gives you the option? Me asking you ask 15 different women to marry you and they all say no you yourself are not married as well Yes, we both have a choice so you can ask so that you can ask over and over and over again You're gonna have to a hundred different women, but but here's the thing But here's the thing i'm gonna tell you why it's not equal i'm gonna tell you why it's not equal Because most of the time women want to get married more than men do Yes, so if i ask if i ask 15 if i ask 15 women that like me because obviously i'm not just asking random women If i ask 15 women that i'm going to say that 15 women that like you then it would be the same thing to me No, you're saying if i find 15 women that like me Yes, that's gonna up your percentage because they like you but that's the same thing for me if i find 15 dudes Love my dirty draws. I could have 15 different options of husbands. It's the same thing for you Wait, wait, wait, but listen to what i'm saying It's they're not an option unless they propose to you That's what it comes down to you either if you don't say yes if they don't say yes You're like, oh, I have you don't if they don't want to marry you you're missing this I can offer you Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Let me let me let me take this back If if you are not married Right, because I don't I don't even understand why Why it's a hard concept to grasp because you're saying that you are married and you're saying that your husband proposed to you You wanted to marry him, correct? You want that's obviously that's why y'all are still a question. Um But What if he what if he wanted to marry somebody else? Let's say that he was dating you and he was dating somebody else, right? and He thought the other one that he was dating was more like material, right? Yeah, and you wanted to marry him, but he just didn't propose to you That means you didn't have the option to say yes or no No, that that wouldn't be my no, no, wait, wait, wait. How do you get the how do you turn? Okay, let's take this away from marriage, right? if you're at the club if you're at the club, right and um How do you reject somebody who never walked up to you and asked you for your number? You don't you don't that's my point. You don't have the option to reject anyone because no one has asked you anything That's the only point that i'm making here. Someone has to ask you in order for the option to begin for you There's no option on the table if no one's asking you to get married You can go through your whole life and no one ever asked you to get married. That means you never had the option And most women want to get married That's that's the point that i'm making it starts with the fact that most women want to get married But if no one ever proposes to you, you don't even have the option the same way you can't turn a nigga down We'll never ask you on a date. You can't have the option to say yes or no to marriage if no one has ever asked you to get married You're just I feel like your only side is like you said You know what I feel like you're trying to do I feel like you're trying to emphasize that you have a stay in this And I'm not and and I I want to say that I'm not saying that you don't have a say. That's not what I'm saying So I think we need to just We need to just um Accept that I've already agreed that you women have a say in who they married. That's not the point that I'm making I think that your health depends on on proving that point or making that point That you're not understanding that we're not even having the same conversation I agree that women have to say who that everyone has to say in anything they do in life Everything comes with a decision. I'm saying the decision does not even present itself to y'all if nobody has even offered or ring to you That's when the decision actually presents itself That's what gives us the leverage because we're the ones who have to ask you And give you the option to either say yes or no Your option only begins after we put things in motion No, you're still it's still not clicking for you. No, it's nothing. It's not clicking I'm not saying that it's not clicking. I just think that it's very one-sided from your opinion That's that's what I would stay behind that one side of that marriage is only a thing That's as accessible through men. No, no, I didn't say it's only accessible through man I said you're saying that they're the gatekeepers That they're the gatekeepers because it's something and that's what i'm saying is that you in order because we're not just talking about We're talking about marriage, which means We're talking about the fact that somebody has to agree to you. So I Thing is that you're like nobody could ever propose to you. Do you okay? Let me ask you something. Let me let me ask you something Who do you what group do you think are more readily or want to get married more men or women? Women for sure. That's okay. Okay. Have you ever heard the saying that the power is in the hands of the ones who care the least I'm sorry several months on the kind of broke up Power rests in the hands of those who care the least So meaning if you want something more than I do I have leverage over that thing Do you know why y'all have leverage with sex is because men readily want sex more than y'all do so y'all have to leverage Does that make sense? That's to say, okay, so let's apply that logic to marriage y'all want something more than we do that gives up Gives us the leverage over but why do okay, so then okay Wait, wait, wait. Do you accept do you accept that premise first before we move on? Do you accept that premise? Yes, for the lack of the argument. Sure. I would I will give you that But since I'm gonna give you that I'm gonna back up a little bit. Why do women want to get married more than that? Because y'all appreciate security and provision And security comes from man Man provides security It's in your nature. It's in your nature. It's in your nature Man, man, men are the ones that protect y'all want protection and provision So naturally you want to be coupled up with men. I wouldn't say it's in our Humans and I wouldn't say it's in our nature What I would say is that is that is a grooming that women have always had over that I wouldn't just say is I don't think it's a grooming. I think it's in your nature It is a grooming because women have been taught to be wise. No, no, no I'm gonna give this I'm gonna give this session about two more minutes because we gotta put some other people on But I want to ask you this before we end this. Um Do you think men and women are built differently? Yes Do you think they're men have capabilities that women don't and women have capabilities that men don't? Yes Right. Okay. So some things are beyond grooming. Some things are just Nature, right? Do you do you agree with that concept that some things like The same the same way that a woman and a man have to have sex so be able to be made. That's not grooming That's just nature, right? Like that's that's that's just how things are keys open doors keys open eyes, right? Right So men are built differently than women and that's not to say again I always have to make this claim because I know there's somebody somewhere saying but there's a woman who can do this And that's not what I'm saying generally speaking Men are the protectors of a community Right women want to couple up with men Most women want most women want children And with children they want family and their security most women don't just want to have don't want to be single mothers They don't just want to have a child and then no man in the household. Y'all want provision and protection That's why women marriage because it secures all of those things that y'all right But I feel like you're speaking out of us out of the soul side that sex is very accessible That is that that's that's not something that was always the case back in the day Which means what my point is what I'm trying to what is the oldest profession? I'm sorry. What is the oldest profession? I'm not sure Okay, well you you understand why that is my rebuttal to sex has always been readily available because um Um selling sex is one is the oldest profession So sex has always been readily available Men don't mean marriage is the sex That the stats were higher back in the day versus they are now Would you know if there were more families there were more marriages? There was more so my point is that back in the day when sex was less accessible Women still wanted marriage more There has never been a time in history where men wanted marriage more than women Do we agree there? What I'm what I am trying to say is that there is a break And what back and how things used to be and how they are now like Like you agreed back in the day the percentages of marriages and families were a lot higher than they are now So my thing is if as a man if your soul If your soul um reason or your soul desire is to have sex But no women in your community. I'm not gonna say for the whole world in your community A lot let's say like I'm not gonna say that and your community Um is giving it up your desire to get married is going to be a lot higher The reason why but that has never been and that's my point that has never been the case How do you know that? Where are you? I'll be just acknowledge that If your desire is to get to point b you have to go through a wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Wait, you already have to go through a wait. You already agreed with me that most women want marriage more than men Even today forget back then to in 2022. No that matters because you don't no I don't believe that women are groomed to be Conditions of thinking that marriage is the highlight of their life. Can you agree to that? I I do believe that there are more women who feel like marriage is not the end of the year No, no, no, no. Well, you agree that it's a grooming for women to believe that marriage and children are the highlight of their lives No, I don't believe that. I think it's a women's nation. You don't believe that it's a grooming No, I believe it's a women's Let me let me learn. I believe it's a women's nature to want children and marriage Well, maybe not marriage, but definitely children and with children like I said, it's not an immense nature to spread his seed No, it is But if I have a desire to have children and you have a desire to have but that's what I'm saying I'm not the one that's saying anything is grooming. You are I'm simply saying it's not because you don't agree with that because it's Literally a condit women girls little girls are groomed from children to have their Why did you want why did you want marriage? Uh, I'm a spiritual person. Why did you want marriage because you're a sport for religious reasons, huh? That's your answer Yes The reason that you wanted marriage We can argue that point until next week the reason that each individual woman wants marriage It doesn't change the fact that more women Want marriage more than men women are more readily available to get married. They want that That thing more than men do and because of that man will always have the leverage But I'm telling you if you take sex out of that I guarantee Well, we have we haven't anything we cannot we can only Listen, listen, that's the difference between the statistics of today's And the statistics of this is what I need. This is what I need us to understand We cannot we cannot talk about some utopia that doesn't exist. We can only How things are today We're gonna talk about something like the like marriage that stems from the beginning of time If we're gonna talk about something that goes far back, then we have to start and we've done that No, we haven't because you don't agree that let me tell you how we've done that. Let me tell you how we've done that There's never you don't agree Wait, there's never been a moment in time No matter how far back you go then or now where Man wanted marriage more than women. Where do you have those stats at? Where do you have those numbers? How can you prove that? How can you prove that? Listen, I'm gonna go to the next person. I might have Because we're gonna argue this from I don't You just didn't agree with me. No, no, I I agreed Wait, wait, I I agreed with certain points you made that I agreed with which was that There you guys do have you girls do have a women do have a say in who they married But I just feel like the opportunity has to first be presented by men That doesn't mean that you don't have a say in it I think that's one of the points that you were trying to make that We have a say as well and I never say that y'all don't have a say I just said that opportunity has to present itself from That's what I'm trying to say if you were just talking about oh, we're just talking about proposals You said marriage meaning follow through Meaning get into the full thing And even when we get to marriage we already established that women want marriage more than men and because of that We'd have to leverage and all I said was where does that come from and you said? Oh, we can argue that from now until next week. We can argue that from now until next week If you want to argue that with me jump in my DMs, I'll be happy to do that But we got to do that Okay, I'll be in your DMs In front of a crowd of people but it's okay I appreciate you. I have a good one You too. Bye bye Yo Thoughts on that It became circular I I feel like I feel like I try to make my points as basic as possible like a got to be got to see um And sometimes I feel like there was a point where she was dedicated to not understanding the concept Because I don't think it was a complicated concept like You can't walk through a door that's not open. So you don't have the you don't have the Option to go into that room is if that door is not open So unless a man proposes to you, you don't even have the option to say yes or no Like marriage has not presented itself granted. You do have a say in who you marry No one's saying that women are completely just Powerless when it comes to marriage Simply saying that man have other gatekeepers You don't get to walk through a gate when no one has opened that door for you If no man has proposed to you, you don't even have the opportunity to say yes or no, right Right. Um, that's a hard concept, but It's uh, at some point in dialogue people just shut their ears off. So It's uh, it's it's common. But you don't have video. Um, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I know I'm I'm being a voice in the background because we're gonna move on to angie in a second But uh, shout out to everybody who's just uh, tuning in. We've got a hundred and 50 Uh, well, yeah 150 and it's kind of fluctuating people in the chat right now If you are a member, you'll be able to comment if you're not click that join button and consider Becoming a channel supporter Um, yeah, so I just wanted to go through some of the comments that I saved Shout out to army of yhwh. Thank you for becoming a member It's nick obry and z. Thank you guys for becoming members Um, wrench turner says men are lashing out because they are systematically doing serious damage to men's lives with the help of the government And gloating about it. That's a fact As that says females can now choose whatever they want But those poor choices haven't brought any news Large numbers of eligible rich successful men. I wonder why Mr. T says most women want to get married. That's why the leverage stays. That's why You're right. Uh, the shan says why do most women feel the need to refer to minority instances and pass it off as the majority It's foolish He also says and the mask is off Became more and more aggressive throughout the dialogue. What what are your thoughts on that because I kind of observed that too When she came on she seemed kind of sweet and it kind of Um, yeah, I think honestly, I just think it was a reluctance to um To accept uh to accept the hard truth. I think I I like so, you know, you see how easy it was for For her to accept that women have to hold the key to sex like when I said women, um, women are the dictators of you know, Sex who has sex or who doesn't that was easy for her to say Yes, I see that because it was a hard fact that Showed that she was that women weren't controlled of something When it was flipped and it became a hard fact that showed where men have control of something else That was harder to to digest and I think that's just human nature people don't want to accept the things that don't benefit them you understand what i'm saying and I mean, I did my best to To just show how that logic was just the same thing be separate like inverted and from you know But if you can accept that women are the gatekeepers of sex I don't understand like how you can't use that same logic and accept that man or the gatekeepers of marriage You understand what i'm saying if if a woman doesn't offer her vagina to me. I don't even have the option to Say no You understand what i'm saying like I can't I don't she I can't say oh, um I can't talk about not having sex with a woman that was never that that never gave me the option to have sex with her Like I didn't get a chance to turn you down because her vagina was never on the table I'm saying so like you don't you don't have the choice to say yes or no to marriage If no man has like no man has proposed to you not about me or this matter If no man proposes to you as a woman, you don't even have the option to say yes or no Like that's what i'm getting at and at the end of the day some man out there is the gatekeeper to whether or not you get married period right um So real quick, man, uh, did you want to take a break? I don't I don't know the the people that are supposed to come up or they uh, Do they all have the link do they all you know what i'm saying? Yeah We only have one person backstage right now. I just want to make sure everybody I I sent the link to I think about five people So, okay, how long did you want this to go? You tell me bro. Like we we're doing as long as you need Are there any other are there any other people tuned in there? You know want to join that you can just um Yeah, so let's do angie first and then i'll drop the link in the chat and uh, we'll see If any of the regular viewers want to pull up. Okay. All right, we can do whatever. All right back Hey, what up angie? I can't hear you. You got your mic on There you go. What's up? How are you? Hi, I just How old are you? Where are you from angie? I am 29 and i'm from new york New york, what part of new york? Um the city Okay, what's up? What's on your mind what you want to talk about? Uh, first wanted to say thank you for all your inspirational posts. I used to do those posts every two days I appreciate you. Did you buy my book? I definitely did all right good good stuff. Okay, what's up? Yeah, it definitely helps me. Um I've really kind of got lost with the topic that I like got into When I came on came on kind of late unfortunately um We didn't have a specific topic. We were um, we were talking about the gender war and the things that women have a problem with here in these days because there are some They have been some repetitive talking points as far as The male podcast or stuff like that that women are finding hard to digest and so we were just discussing what What the harder pills are for y'all like what is it that you're hearing from the men's side that you feel like It's so ridiculous or it's something that you can't get with like what are what are the hard Nose or the heart I can't get with that for you Like is it the 50 50? Is it the femininity? Is it like what is it? I don't have an issue with most of that like the 50 50 I feel like if we go our first day like when you're bringing out of the first day thing Yeah, of course a man might offer the paint. Well, he might want to pay first But I'm always going to offer saying that it's the first date like we don't know each other And if you decline that's fine, but I'm going to offer because it's the first date Okay, so I'm going to know each other. I'm going to ask you some more specific questions Just to get the conversation going um Do you have a problem with a man saying? Publicly and out loud. I want to say publicly and out loud because I feel like that's when The pushback comes is when these men is when men say these things out loud Do you have a problem with men saying I don't date women with kids? No, I've dealt with that Say it again I've dealt with that. I have you dealt with a man saying he doesn't do you have a job? I have kids Okay, so tell me how you dealt with that So uh person that I was dealing with mentioned that they not directly to me but out loud for other people that they don't see They don't date women with kids, but they did mean for several years publicly so it was like I guess at at the moment. I didn't really take too much to it because you know, I was single I was just out of another relationship not long before that. I didn't think too much of it. Honestly, I didn't really care Wait, wait, so wait wait just to make sure that I follow you make sure audience follow me You went dating a guy exclusively or just casually I mean it started off casually And it went exclusive Okay, so you have like boyfriend and girlfriend Okay, so you were dating a guy and you heard that he was telling people he doesn't date women with kids Okay So, um Yeah, after a while, I guess like I don't know maybe me changed his mind Getting to know me. I didn't really think anything of it Like I was just like I said getting out of the situation So I didn't really care and I don't do the he say she say thing But the people that were saying it were people that we hang with So it was like maybe it is true, but I'll see what your actions show me Your actions show me that you don't want to deal with a person as kids them style. There's a door Don't let it hit you with a good little flitchu. I don't care Why did y'all part ways? Uh, because I want like what you said in the in the other conversation that women know That they want marriage. I want marriage in the future and this person does not want that Okay I'm gonna ask you a hard question, right? Okay Is it possible that He didn't want marriage with you because you had kids? I don't know about it. Is that what you took from that Like did you Was there any point when y'all broke up and y'all said, okay When when you felt like when you like kind of put those two things together and said maybe This is part of the reason why he didn't want marriage with me was because I have children already No So me saying that it's like the first So me me me me saying that is that the first time you've actually even thought about that? Um, no Oh, it's what you so you have thought about it on your own. Yeah, okay. That's what I'm asking Was there any point where he's like maybe since I had kids that's why he didn't want to Well, yeah, but that didn't think too hard on it because I really thought it was just The way so like this would be the reason that I got when I asked You know, like because I like to know what's your thought process behind your reasons for things Like if you're gonna tell me no, this is not what I want. Okay. Why not? If you don't want to answer you have your right, but I'd like to know Especially if we're splitting and we're ending things About six and a half almost seven years seven years What I wasn't gonna be a forever girlfriend. What year did you find out that he didn't date women with kids? Whatever. No, wait that I found out he didn't date women with kids like year three Did you have that conversation with him when you heard that? Yeah, of course. And what do you say? And he was like, well, you know people talk and what you want me to do Like no, that's okay. I'm gonna tell you a couple things you did wrong Let me see. I'm gonna tell you a I gotta sit up. I'm gonna tell you a couple things you did I know I know and I'm gonna hand me out. You're not gonna get no butter for me Because I already know First of all It don't take seven years, but we're not even going to factor in the kids part I'm a I'm a pin. I'm put a pin on that for now It don't take seven years or a nigga to know if you want to marry you Of course not it don't take five years niggas know inside of two three years. I'm being nice niggas know inside of two three years, right? That's one So if you found out at year three that people were saying he doesn't date women with kids, right? It's already year three A year that I feel like he should at least know if you're somebody he sees getting married, right Adding that information that he doesn't date women with kids. I feel like should have been all you needed to exit in year three Because it's no way I have that information Coupled with the fact that he's acting like he don't want to marry me and I go seven years That's a huge mistake on your part you understand Absolutely, so I feel like right me personally being going to that situation. I didn't care because I didn't feel like I wanted Wait, wait, wait. Hear me out. I didn't want anything serious until it got to like a certain stage in our life Like at what year wait at what year did you discover? Year five going on six because that was my first real like committed How old are you? 100 29 I've I've been through some stuff we could talk about that privately, but I'm not about to put that oil out here right now Okay, so run out. That's cool. I'm I'm just trying to like Get where I'm coming from real quick. Let me finish real quick. No, yeah Good is that At year five, you know after I was done he introduced me to a lot of things So I was comfortable with like being introduced to an adult relationship that I was experiencing traveling I was experiencing someone who was like teaching me how to Be free and not feel like I was in a toxic relationship I got a breath of fresh air So I was very comfortable and that was my fault because I was very stagnant and comfortable and I was okay with everything the way it was I didn't see an issue until year five going into six that I was like All right, what are we doing? What's happening, you know, and then things started playing in my head like I got a question for you And I got a question for you put a video about how it don't take it don't take that long I've been told y'all this I've been told y'all this let me I got another question for you. Did he have kids? No, he has no kids. All right. I'm gonna use this as a teachable moment To other women. I don't want to be a teachable moment. No, you have to be because this is what you have to do You have to you have to you have to tell the generation behind you mistakes that you made so they don't make the same mistakes I'm gonna use this teachable moment, right? When a man without kids Specifically a man without kids because men with kids might budge on Beating like they might sound they want the kids, but if they have a kid they might When men without kids say that they don't date women with kids believe them Believe them. I'm like most men are not going to say this out loud because men still want sex Men a nigga will fuck you for 10 years if you let him in never marry you understand what I'm saying So when a man says I don't date women with kids Don't think because he's laying up under you every week That's somehow and again nothing is absolute. I'm not saying that a man can't change his mind I'm saying for the most part Tread the light because a nigga will fuck you for a decade And then go marry the chick without kids because that's who he sees as somebody that went to marry But I think too many times women kind of just like they don't They think men are playing when men say that they think like oh, you know, whatever he was just And that's that's one of the like that's a real deal breaker for men Like men don't want to date women with kids feel very strongly about that Like I need women to understand that and stop thinking that that's just a small thing Niggas will fucking for days for weeks for years like and I I would bet any amount of money that nigga gonna be how money did y'all break up? About a year ago I bet anything he's gonna be married inside of five years That's why I wish I'm the best No, but I'm just I'm that's what I'm saying like Niggas will waste your time and then go find a woman that they actually Oh, do I have to think of it as a way if I got you know, give me a I'm gonna tell you why it's a waste Because if marriage is what you wanted you then get that out of it And what he's going to do is he's going to go find somebody he actually wants to marry and marry her inside of three years That's why women be like, yo A nigga would thank you for a long time and then go marry a chick He met in like a yes because niggas will waste your time let them that's the only part that I'm trying to make Don't let them waste your time. You understand what I'm saying like niggas will waste your time like when men men are very simple when niggas talk about How men feel and how men think Y'all should really take heed because if you're if you're like You would be a fool not to because we're literally giving you game Like we telling you shit is going to help you so much Maneuver through all the bullshit that us as niggas do we do a lot of bullshit But in this whole new podcast era, we've really been telling y'all Some shit that if you really listen to it, you will know how to maneuver and find a husband and not and and Decide for all the niggas is going to play with you niggas will waste your time And go find somebody that they actually want to marry and marry her inside of three years It's not going to take him a decade. I promise you that So granny you're saying it's not a waste of time because you had your fun You had experiences and all and that's great. That's wonderful and I'm and I love that you look at it that way But at the end of the day of marriage was what you ultimately wanted from me And you didn't get that they didn't waste the seven years of your life I just feel like I didn't I didn't want that at the beginning. So I don't look at it as a way You know, okay. Well, if I wanted it at the beginning when I met him, I was only 22 What the hell did I know about being a wife? I Well, even if you wanted it in my life and make my move and get things together and be a better person for myself Because I had nothing to bring to the table. But what was in between my legs? You wanted it at year four. You wanted that what year four? All right, well you wasted two years of your life That was the lesson learn going forward you gotta learn from what you do and in the past and not repeat it because I don't want that defeated And I want I got a lot to bring to the table. I want women who are tuning into this to also learn from this Learn from this because I'm telling you right now What I've learned is that If a man is not willing to like communicate and give and be like, you know 100 100 no 50 50 I'm on 100 100. I'm gonna give you my all. You give me your all If he's not willing to do that, then I'm wasting my time even conversing with him Okay, that's what I've learned from that because at this point it's like tell me what you want. What is the goal here? What are you looking for? I don't want to hear. Oh, I don't know. So what are we doing? Okay, because now with somebody I could find somebody to lay down with that's very easy Oh for sure. And that's what I'm saying. So Definitely definitely um Well, I think that should be able to uh These I also feel like at your age These are first second day conversations. Do you date women with kids? Right, I advise women with kids to have that conversation like first second day Not do you fuck women with kids because niggas will fuck anything Do you seriously date women with kids? Hopefully the kind of man that you go on date with will be honest with you A lot of men will a lot of men will be like, yeah, and then just fuck you and See how long but that's how you see the facade. You got to pick out So you got or if it's genuine because there's a lot of things that You got to figure you got to figure that wolf Under that sheep cloth is real. It's real. I I agree But it takes a lot of experience to get that though and a lot of these females I guess not don't have it and I can't say it like I didn't have it because I at one point was getting you know the sheep so the look under the sheep's clothes and messing with fuckboys, you know, well Let me ask you something. Why your child's father when when when did you have how old are you? I have a 11 year old and a 10 year old And you're 29 so you had an 18 and 19 18 and 19 why why didn't Why didn't y'all get married? domestic violence Say it again domestic violence issues domestic violence. Oh, that's I I I sorry. I hate it. Um Where the children plant Um, my first one was not my second one No, they weren't my second one of my whole birth potential myself. So yeah, no um at 18 and 19, um If he had proposed to you at 18 and 19, what would you have said? He did He did propose to you at He proposed to you before the first shot or after the first shot? Um before my first shot was born So like I guess I guess it was like I don't know how you explain that so I he wasn't born yet But you were pregnant and he wants you to do your pregnancy. Um, what did you say? I was like, yeah So y'all got my Like he proposed I said yes to the engagement and then he got abusive and I said I'm good I need to get the hell of out of here. I love that you know him before you got hurt I know him for at least five years So y'all were dating since you were 13 14 13 14 if you had your first shot at 18. Yeah, I mean like, you know, a little bullshit person to grow something You're one of them you were one of them Meaning you have puppy love that grew into teenage love and you add up No, I'm serious And you had a point where you nobody couldn't tell you shit You just knew you were in love and you knew you were grown. You're one of them like I know the story I know all these stories puppy love that graduated teenage love and nobody could probably tell you nothing Like I'm saying you felt like this was your soul me because y'all do each other since childhood and whatever the case may be And literally did you know you had so much life ahead of you? I um you right I don't know because they give me the drive to do every day. Did anyone tell you did what did anyone tell you? To not to not go through the pregnancy Who told you that My mom my dad um I felt like I'm scared. I'm gonna be honest with you. I like I didn't have no feeling towards them telling me When they told me I didn't feel no way like I didn't feel like oh my god. You're trying to control me You know like stuff like that I didn't feel that way. I was really scared though because my dad I'm a daddy's girl And my dad disowned me for a little while He told me he wanted to do with me that I was not his daughter. He's In hindsight How do you do you feel like they were saying it from a place of uh, good No, I think it was more of like they were They like I guess in the long run Yeah, like I feel like they were telling me that because they felt like I have more potential And if I do this it would slow down What I'm capable of Because it didn't stop me from succeeding in life But it just slowed down the pace and I have now Do things with a certain Way of doing it like I have to plan things out instead of like as a woman with no kids just gets up and go So it's it slowed you down. I just saved me from that It slowed you down and it also limited your options in the data market because as you said you're dealt with man Who don't want to um deal with a woman who has children, right? so I think I think and um, I think it's important for I think it's important for women behind you to understand How grand of a decision having children is Especially at that age and especially Without the family structure because this is a huge decision. I always say I think it's funny how Let's take a 20-year-old female, right? If a nigga that she's been dating for like two years was like Not even two years. Let's say yeah, because that's that's a lot If if uh, I'm taking this out of your situation by the way If a woman who has been dating a nigga for like six months And a nigga proposed to her she would think very long and hard about it. She would be like nigga I don't know even six months like Marriage is a big commitment. You understand what I'm saying? But if she was to get pregnant inside of those six months She doesn't most most women don't give it the same amount of thought and scrutiny as marriage and And it's hard to argue that that having a child is not the bigger commitment because it's a child What's the child is a forever commitment But that's you know, I'm saying like that is your child and that is the child's father or mother for The duration of your life and their life But for some reason we've we've gotten to a culture where people see marriage as the bigger commitment As the thing to scrutinize or question way longer and harder than Bringing a life into this world and marriage can be you know marriage can even divorce people you can be You can do something like that think and almost be like it never even happened But a child that's a permanent situation We're not telling Young young girls and young women That they should put way more thought into that. I don't I can't I can't think of a Gun to my head. I can't think of a more important decision in life than who you have a child with I don't think there is one Like who you procreate with who you bring a whole another life into this world with I can't Think of a bigger decision Come again Yeah, but so often women understand the gravity of marriage, but they don't understand the gravity of having a child And I don't understand why that is like One is like it's not if you ask me it's not even close And I think with you know, and again, I'm taking this away from you because I feel like your situation is slightly different Um, you know, but I think there are way too many women who meet men inside of the year to give them a child They know nothing about them. And then when you ask why it didn't work out, they say, you know, well, he wasn't marriage material Okay. Well, if he wasn't marriage material if he wasn't Good enough for marriage, which is a lesser commitment. Why would you give him a child? Which is a bigger commitment But I appreciate this conversation. Thank you very much for it. You were you know, you weren't combative you were No, I'm It's crazy because y'all New Yorkans are really shit. It's like The worst I guess it depends on where you catch us back because yeah, I don't know I'm not mean But thank you for this before you before you get off the show. Can you give us the new york fuck out of here one time? I We appreciate you man. Have a good night Yo, how you feel like that went I feel like that was an easy conversation. I feel like I feel like that created a lot less combative You said what she was a lot less combative. Yeah. Yeah, it was a it was an easy conversation I think it created a lot of teachable moments. Mm-hmm So, I mean Talk talk more about that. You said a lot of us in general Put more scrutiny into who we marry versus who we have kids with. Yeah. Um, every time I have a conversation, especially, uh Just with our people Particularly with women who already have kids um See one of one of the one of the pushback that we get when we talk about So why don't you have a child with him and you know, why don't you marry him? Whatever please don't be women often say he changed like he switched up, right? And that's not that's not the masses like we're not going to sit here and act like People are actually taking the time to get to know these people and then out of the blue They just change now. I'm not saying it doesn't happen But what happens more often is people are not betting these people as they should They vet people a lot more when it comes to marriage, but they don't vet them when it comes to having a child So you didn't vet this nigga. It's not that he just up and changed like most people are texting and fucking Like they build they're not even in relationships. They're just texting and fucking get pregnant and then you give him a baby and then he's not there and Granted against this I'm not having a conversation where I'm trying to say man should not take care of their children I'm saying there needs to be a better betting process You should not just be giving man that you have not vetted children And these same men that you're giving children you're saying I would never marry him And marriage is the less that's the lesser of two commitments. So When you vet him, he's not good enough for marriage But yet You're giving him a child and now you're going to get on social media and complain about how he ain't shit And then you're gonna say, um Well, these men need to stop leaving their households Well Here's the thing. There was never a household There was never a commitment for him for him to leave. Y'all was texting and fucking Majority of the time is not that the men left the household is that there was there was never a household to begin with Like you had a kid by nigga that you you know for five months. Y'all was texting and fucking He probably told you I don't want a child with you because he didn't see But I will say nothing in a woman that you don't want a child with as well, but Beyond that where you know I'm saying like Beyond that like you you didn't vet this nigga. I you don't I don't I don't get it like I would have to have a conversation with with Women who you know who that's their story to get a better understanding of what the mindset is Because I can't fathom if I was a woman and I was to get pregnant and a nigga said I don't want to have nothing to do with you or the baby and I'm gonna I'm gonna still give this nigga a baby But why would you get some out of baby? You don't want to have nothing to do with you or the kid You understand what I'm saying? It's like you're giving somebody something very precious like I don't think people understand Like you giving him a very precious thing after he's telling you I don't want to have shit to do with you or the Kid like he's telling you that to your face And then a lot of women say this is the pushback you get I had to I had my baby for me not him That's fine. Okay. Let's let's say you did you have your baby You don't think that that selfish that you're choosing to normally raise a child in a disadvantaged situation For yourself because just because this is what you want to do Right because all by any metric with me kids who are raising single parent households perform worse than Kids who are raising in two parent households by any metric by any measurement So that's selfish to raise a child in a disadvantaged Broken situation because you want to prove that you can do it by yourself or you want to prove a point or Um, and here's another another thing that I see a lot. I don't I don't mean to die too much into this There there are a lot of women who say, you know, um I Had this child because you know, he's gonna love me Like unconditionally, I think I think you need therapy if you have a child because you need somebody to love you unconditionally you need therapy Because that child loves you unconditionally by default. He literally she or he literally means you to survive Like you're bringing a child into this world because you're filled with men and you need something or someone to love you unconditionally You need to go here. You don't need to be bringing a whole another life into this world Just so you can have some a play toy or something that needs you or him saying like you do therapy Like that's not a good enough reason Like that shit is a huge commitment people act like that shit is just Man, I don't get it, but So what's the answer man? Like where do we what do you think we need to go from here? As far as what as far as as far as a community As far as a black community because I mean, I think The complicated thing about this is like a lot of our dynamics are changing like women don't even the way that they used to So like traditional marriages might not work the way that they Listen, here's the thing I'm with the women 100 if they say I'm a modern woman and you know, this is what it is right But in like manner They have to be willing to accept modern men Because of everything involves Women cannot evolve to be modern while men stay traditional and that's where the disconnect is Women are telling us to our face. I'm a modern woman. I've evolved. I get my own money We don't need you and we love it. I'm well, I can speak for everyone, but I love it I love that black women are out here doing their thing the ones that are getting to it. I love it I'm all for it. I love black women luxury. I want y'all to get your money. That's great But there's a cash 22 with everything there's two sides to it You can't say I'm a modern woman and I'm going to be a modern woman You have to accept me as a modern woman what you got to remain a traditional man It doesn't work that way Modern women are going to get modern men Traditional women are going to get traditional men That is the very definition of trying to have your cake and eat it too if there was ever a great Example one that epitomizes wanting to have your cake. You're telling people I'm I'm going to evolve but you have to stay the same I'm not going to do any of my traditional roles, but I still expect you to do all your traditional roles as a man How does that work? Let's all be modern like Either we all get to be modern or we all get to be traditional. It can't be both like less or you you What do you want to be modern and what do you want to be traditional in and then you find somebody who has that same um, you know Give and take what I want to be modern in and what I want to be traditional in because it's not a one size fits all Right, it's not one size fits all you can find Someone who wants that modern slash traditional balance is you but I feel like the problem is A lot of women only want to compromise and find their balance They're just saying I'm modern and I need a traditional man and men are saying, okay If I'm going to be traditional I need a traditional woman like That's just what it is and I think that's the biggest disconnect modern women want traditional men And saying that they don't want modern men like no a modern if you're a modern woman You're making money a modern man would be somebody you're splitting bills with A nigga paying a hundred percent is traditional like lesbian real traditional is Absolute provision and protection. That's that's traditional. You want somebody to pay 100% that's traditional You can't say I'm modern but I want you I mean you can And I'm not saying that you can't find someone who does it because I make this point all the time Most men if they could they would like most men want to provide That's what we don't understand most men wants to provide men want to have the money to Give their woman the selfless possible life But the reality is not every man can do that most men cannot because most people are average And that doesn't mean he's less of a man That's just the world is not set up in a way where every man can with the lifestyle that women expect Can pay 100% of the bills and taking on trips 10 times a year like It's it's not realistic So so real quick um angie pop back in she wanted some feedback as far as like You guys this conversation. So what's your overall kind of take on on how that went? Angie what? That was the last one the new I enjoyed that conversation. Um, yeah, I think it was like I said, I think it was it was a tea like her story I think um I love that she was very honest because most women would not um Admit to the fact that they meet men who don't want to have um who don't want to marry Women with kids like a lot of times when that conversation comes up women be like no, they love us They love us as women with kids and I'm like but do daddy because are they marrying you? Like some men will marry a big married woman with kids some man It's a hard note for so I think she was honest with saying listen. I've met somebody who was telling people he doesn't Date women with kids and we didn't get married. So maybe that's why maybe that's not you know, it is what it is um I think I think it's important for for women to just accept what men tell them That they want or don't want I think that's one of the it's like if we're giving you the cheat code Like I don't understand why you would hear us say what we like and we don't like and just be like now you line Like we're not saying that shit for our own health It's like when women say I want a nickel to who you know, who's getting to the bag We know y'all not saying that for y'all help. That's why niggas is out here risking fair time to get some money Because they know women want men with money So so for women in her position If if you can give like a light at the end of the tunnel what can she do to better position herself for the outcomes that she wants? um I would say I would say play the number play the numbers and and this is what I mean I feel like out of if we line up 10 men that don't have kids I don't care what they say because I've talked to these men If we line up 10 men that don't have kids and ask them If they would marry a woman with kids Probably about eight out of 10 of them are going to say no they didn't want to start their own family They would rather marry a woman without kids If we line up 10 men who already have children More of them are going to say they don't mind dating and marrying a woman with children So I would tell women in her position to date men with children because there's a higher Percentage of those men who are okay with lending families because they already have children of their own It makes no sense. I'm trying to date Date to marry men who don't have kids and then you're trying to figure out if he's just fucking just to be fucking If if he's lying to you about whether or not he really wants to take you seriously With your kids or with your who you already have you know children I think it's just too much to try to figure out So the odds are in your favor if you use date someone who already understands your life Has already had children as well. It's just the easier transition Because i'm telling you right now a lot of niggas without kids Prefer women without kids is no way around it 90 percent of us men without kids prefer women without kids so To avoid the games and and to try to figure shit out and all of that shit I'm gonna tell you right now just date them with kids because niggas without kids are gonna lie especially especially in 2022 when it's I tell people all the time most bad bitches come with a kid Like the baddest bitches have children and niggas want to fuck bad bitches So they're not gonna say I don't want to I don't want to marry they're gonna fuck you They're gonna tell you whatever they got to tell you to fuck you because Most bad bitches come with a child Like that's just what it is like a lot of great-looking females have children like it's hella bad Baby mamas out here Like if we're being a honey the niggas is not gonna be like No, I ain't gonna fuck because she gotta get no niggas gonna lie to you and niggas gonna have sex with you For as long as you allow them to and then they're gonna Go find a woman without kids that they want to marry and settle down after you don't waste your time I'm keeping in the buck with you. I'm giving you the real Take heed or keep wasting years out your life But this is what it is niggas is not gonna tell you that because y'all be looking good as shit Like that's what y'all be looking good as shit. Like i'm not niggas ain't about to fuck up niggas ain't about to fuck up his pussy Why you think he be talking like a Would you date a chick with kids he gonna say no and you you've bad as shit. No, he's gonna lie to you He's gonna lie to you He's gonna lie to you don't don't get me and criminate myself, but i'm telling you niggas is gonna lie to you All right, so we got a super chat from army of Yhw h you got a long name, man, but uh, he says future of modern women four Out of one I guess and in that day seven women shall take hold of one man saying we Will eat our own bread and wear our own apparel only let us be called by the okay. I'm not Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a scripture, man. Shout out to you, man. Um Yeah, man. So any any closing thoughts, man, I think we might as well close this out. It's been two hours. You know, yeah That was a good time. Yeah, any final final words final thoughts, man man, um Not really. I think I think I've said a lot. I think it's it's a lot of content in here. Um, I don't want to I don't want to go into anything new. We can just save that for when we do this again um, I appreciate anyone who um everyone who joined And everyone who's watching it on you're saving this right? Oh, yeah You upload this to you. So yeah, everyone who um watching this go ahead and comment. Um, I want to say follow me on tiktok. I believe my tiktok is called him legend Man, you know, we got banned from tiktok. Yeah, I got banned. What shit? We got banned a couple months ago, man, and I never Nothing Literally just posting clips of the interviews Yeah, we posted your clip It's crazy Is man, but listen, I want to appreciate you man for pulling out We might we might mess around and make this thing. Uh, no I was gonna say it was cool. It was Definitely make this a thing. I'm not gonna do it. We could definitely make this a thing, you know Do this like, you know, at least at least once a month or bi-weekly. Yes, sir. I'm making a thing Absolutely, man. Hey, I appreciate you brother. Thank you so much man. I'm gonna hit you up soon Yeah, I'm gonna hit you over the second. All right All right, so we have come to the end of this surprise thursday stream I want to thank my guest again. Mr. Poetic style if you haven't already Head over to his instagram. Uh, it's on the screen right now poetic style That man is the goat man. Uh, go check out some of his content. Um, if you enjoyed what he had to say, um, you know Bless him on cash out. That's his that's his cash up on the screen And uh, also let us know in the comment section below if you want us to keep doing this, um, you know That's some kind of regularity and uh, we'll see if we can make it happen But again, I appreciate him. I appreciate all our guests. I appreciate the conversation I appreciate everybody who's been in the comments all the super chats All the cash apps. Thank you guys so much Like I said tomorrow, um Today's premier guests so today's episode of Kevin sam is started this conversation. She will be um on the stream tomorrow evening, uh to react to defend respond to Uh, some of the comments some of the feedback some of the reaction videos um On you know on I think she's had four or four or five episodes Including the one today. So um, if you guys haven't already go check those out And like I said, I will see you guys tomorrow 9 p.m. Sharp. Um, I will be here. She will be here. Um, it should redirect you to that stream So go ahead and push the like button go ahead and uh Click that notification bell and I will see you guys tomorrow. Uh until then y'all take care