 So I really want tea But I shattered the tea kettle yesterday Well, hello there as I wait for my coffee to brew I thought I would tell you about this book I got two copies in the mail yesterday because I ordered two copies and I thought How do I need the two books? Maybe I'll give one away to you guys because you are so amazing But maybe you should stay tuned until the end of the video to find out But let me just explain to you exactly what this book is I heard it mentioned on a TV show and I thought it's not amazing It's literally just a list of 14,000 things to be happy about and life gets rough for everybody as I will explain Later in the rest of this video So let's just pick a page and discover a few things to be happy about Sunday brunch buffet knowing there'll be many Surprises in the future black bean and corn dip. All right, then a farmer's market tailored to the kind of cooking You do for me that would be making coffee. It's the only kind of cookie I actually do speaking of which the coffee's done getting to know people second-hand books girl bands test tubes What okay? Stay tuned to the end of this video to find out if maybe I'll give away an extra copy Do apologize for what I'm about to say in advance because they feel so strongly About this topic. I get stupid comments occasionally But it's so occasional and it blows my mind because people talk about the internet being a terrible place full of trolls But you guys are amazing Like it's been an incredible experience and you guys have been so supportive But there are some weirdos out there. I do the comments every once in a while, but I saw this comment and this guy said it could be worse on my video where I Like go up to Denver and get my cast off and see my leg that's been amputated for the first time and I couldn't stop myself from replying to him I probably should have just let it go and don't worry I'm never like mean to people on the internet because that just seems like a dumb thing to do I did reply and I I said your thousand percent correct first of all Yes, it could always be worse if I lost Both my legs and both my arms it could still be worse like it could always be worse There is I'm pretty sure I said this in a video before there's one person on planet earth who has like the card for worst situation ever and aside from that all of us get to live an admiration of it could be worse except for that person but That comment is never helpful for anyone to hear and it didn't piss me off for my sake or maybe it did a tiny little bit I don't know I'm still unpacking that but it pissed me off for like the sake of Humanity the sake of everyone I have literally given speeches in public about this speeches where I was asked to be there By the way, like I didn't just like put a soapbox up and stand and start preaching to people about how much it could be worse It's not helpful, but you can't like just deny someone's pain Based on the fact that other people in the world have it worse and this is something I've struggled with so much also I'm pretty sure let let my TV on fire. Just give me a second here. I mean, it's not on fire But it looks like it not supposed to help guys. Please don't tell my doctor. It's gonna move that Anyway, now that that is fixed. I should correct what I said you can deny someone's pain Based on the fact that someone else has a worse. It's why would you though? I think when we tell people that like it could be worse what we're really saying is I don't feel like dealing with what you're going through I don't feel like listening. I don't feel like helping you process it. I don't feel like sitting with you as you feel this Difficulty pain whatever it is. Okay, let me just pause this for a second I'm editing this video right now and I realized that I completely left out another reason why this phrase is so common And it's probably the most common I made it sound like it's always a negative thing or like someone just doesn't want to deal with you or you know like they're just in some way like Not a bad person, but just saying a bad thing that I don't think that's it. I think often it's motivated by Not knowing how to respond to someone or thinking that like it's a helpful thing like hey look on the bright side other people have it worse But as I've thought about this phrase for years and how I've internalized it and how oftentimes it's a very negative thing I thought a lot about how it actually affects me how it affects the people I know and love and Kind of the psychology that's actually behind it. And so before I continue on with this video I just want to take a moment to correct the idea that I think I was giving that like it's a mean awful thing to say Because I don't think it is that I just think it's not helpful And I think the way that we perceive it as being this helpful phrase to tell people sometimes It isn't actually helpful It's actually in a way a very damaging thing to tell ourselves and a damaging thing to tell others because it's a suppressive phrase In a way if that makes sense I hope it does let me know what you think of the comments below and let me continue on and We are culturally programmed to tell ourselves this and this is something that I've spent seven years of my life actually trying to like Work through and process and I put out a video a while ago talking about how I thought you know before getting my Lower leg chopped in half That it would be pretty severe to have that done that this would be like a not a worst-case scenario by any means But a pretty severe thing And then when I had it done my joint amputee support groups those words of like it could be worse It could be worse it could be worse kept ringing in my head because I saw people who lost both their legs below the knees and you know More than that and so on and so forth It is an actual avoidance technique to tell ourselves. It could be worse. It allows us To ignore what we're going through and just deny it and be like, you know what? It could be worse. So I'm not going to deal with the fact that this thing has happened to me I'm not going to process the emotion. I'm not going to let myself feel it And I'm done with that in my life for myself, you know, like if people want to tell it to me That's fine, and I'll post angry rant videos sorry guys but I just am exhausted by it as a cultural narrative And I would never ever tell that to anyone ever something else that I think is funny about this is people are constantly telling me that like Oh, I shouldn't tell you about what's going on in my life because you know You just had your like amputee or because you're an amputee now And I'm like stop it like you you're my friend. You've always been my friend I want to hear about what's going on in your life. I'm never going to sit here and say that like Well, I guess you're dealing with issues at work and insecurity, but I had my leg chopped off So shut up like I'm never going to do that because a that would make me a really crappy friend and crappy person and b Just because I'm experiencing something that's difficult for me does not mean that someone else is not experiencing something That's difficult for them. How much things impact us is based on prior experiences And I can tell you for sure. This is not the worst thing that I've ever gone through the worst thing I've ever experienced like not even a little bit. It's challenging. It's difficult and yes It could be worse, but I'm done buying into that for myself for other people. So just I'm just gonna end this video and say to whoever wrote that comment I appreciate you bringing it up and saying so Your comment is not helpful to anyone as I Hopefully kindly told you Maybe I got angry. I don't know Anyways, maybe just take a moment today To look at whatever is difficult in your life Whatever you are struggling with and know that it's valid doesn't matter what I'm going through It doesn't matter what anyone else is going through It's valid and it deserves to be dealt with that doesn't mean that you shouldn't look at others Situations and be grateful for what you have or grateful that it's not on your plate. Absolutely But to deny others what they're going through tonight to deny yourself it because of that Is just epically not helpful. Okay guys I'm actually gonna stop recording now and let you go about your lovely days and hope that whatever you're struggling with Gets better and if you're not struggling with anything that is fantastic and I'll talk to you guys soon So I'm not sure if I'm vindicated or upset. It's definitely not vindicated and it's definitely not upset So I don't know why I said any of that but he deleted the comment But I can see that he responded and so my response to him like I said was like, hey, you're right But why would you say that and then his response was I don't know just saying and then he deleted the comment So what I'm gonna say is that my enlightened comment changed his mind And he's going to rethink his life and his approach to human communication Just kidding. Okay, so here's the deal guys I am going to be giving away a copy of this book because I want to when you guys have brought so much happiness into my life I would like to spread that right back So um, all you need to do to enter to win and I will do this drawing Saturday morning at 10 a.m Mountain time. Uh, oh, this is upside down. Way cool is comment a list of five random things that you find happiness in they can be as random as you want them to be And uh, that will enter you and I will do a random drawing and announce the winner on Saturday I look forward to seeing your answers and I look forward to giving this away and I appreciate you guys listening to my rant Much love to all of you. I look forward to talking to you guys soon. Bye