 Now listen to Father Knows Best, transcribed, starring Robert Young as Father. Another half-hour visit with the folks in the White Frame House on Maple Street. Sit back and enjoy life with the Andersons. Kathy, Bud, Betty, Margaret, and Jim as the head of this typical American household again sets out to prove that Father Knows Best. The White Frame House on Maple Street underwent a fairly unique change in personnel last week when its youngest member, Kathy Anderson threw off the shackles of girldom and became as far as she was concerned a boy. All efforts to reconvert her have failed and now the family is beginning to accept her as Sam as is evidenced by this Saturday morning phone call. Like this. Okay, does he go to your school? Heck no, he goes to the Military Academy. Really? Sure, I'm gonna go there too. You can't go there. Doesn't Mike know you're a girl? I saw her see you was in the kitchen. House! You can't go anywhere looking like that. Wait a minute. Have you been cutting your hair again? No! I swear it looks shorter every time I see you. Where's my- Now Kathy, you- Mom, could you make me some lemonade, Bud? You're supposed to be out mowing the lawn. Well, I was, but I got worried about a blister. Oh really? Yeah. If a blister breaks and you get dirt in it, do you get infected? Well, you certainly could. Let's see where it broke. Oh, it didn't break. Oh, well let's see the blister. Oh, I haven't got a blister yet. Well, for goodness sake, what's all the fuss about then? Well, I just thought I'd better quit while I still had my health. Oh, Bud. One time Claude Messner had a blister. I don't want to hear about it. In Altoona, Pennsylvania. Now, Bud. Mailman, letter for the president of the PTA. Where are you, president? In the kitchen, scrubbing the floor. You should get the vice president to do that. Bud, what are you doing in here? Is this the way you mow the lawn? Well, I was just telling mom about the time Claude Messner had a blister on his foot. I'm sorry I missed that. But it was fascinating. Well, what happened? I don't want to hear it. Get out there and put a few blisters on that lawnmower. Hurry now. I'm going, I'm going. Where's my letter? Oh, here it is. Oh, look at this. What is it? A postcard for Sam Anderson. Oh, dear. From the Ajax Power Tool Company. She's certainly going in whole hog for this boy business. Well, for goodness sakes. Margaret, did you know about this? About what? This letter. It's from the Springfield Military Academy. Did Bud mention anything about this to you? Jim, I don't know what you're talking about. It's an application from them. It says our son, Master Anderson, requested it. Now, why would Bud want to go to a military school without consulting us? It is strange. You suppose something has gone wrong at school? He certainly hasn't mentioned it, if it has. Maybe he feels we push him too hard, expect too much work out of him. Oh, Heaven, it's a little bit of work. He does around here. I'd better go out and have a talk with him. Get to the bottom of this thing. Well, it's certainly not like Bud at all. Bud! I'm going to start mowing right now, Dad. Never mind that now. If you feel it's too hard or anything like that, just let it go. Would you repeat that? I said let it go, the grass will keep. Let's sit down here, Bud, and have a little talk. We haven't had a good man-to-man chat for quite a while. Well, come on, sit down. I'll mow the lawn. No, I don't want you to. Sit down. Now, listen, Bud. The only way I can help you is for you to tell me just what the trouble is. The trouble? Just what is this gnawing you feel inside of you? Gnawing? Yes, what's causing it? I guess I'm just hungry. No, Bud, I mean, well look, it's no good keeping these things pinned up inside of you. Get things out in the open. It makes them much simpler. Now, this inner turmoil of yours, what's bringing it on? Well, the only time I notice it is right after I eat dill pickles. Oh, me. Look, Bud. I don't like them anyway. Jim. Don't bother us now, Margaret. But I have some important evidence to throw into this case, Your Honor. If you'd bothered to read the rest of this letter, you'd have found out it has nothing to do with Bud. What letter? It deals with our other son, Sam. What? What are you talking about? Oh, it's an application blank from the Springfield Military Academy. Evidently, Kathy is trying to enroll there. Kathy is? Well, I'll be switched. Bud, where are you going? Over to Joe Phillips. He said I didn't have to mow the lawn. Just forget what I said and get on that lawn. And get on it fast. Holy cow. Hurry. I'm doing it. Take it around and do the front lawn. That needs it worse than this. Okay, okay. Why don't they make up their minds? Drive a guy crazy. Well, look at you. Boy, some people sure have it soft. What are you grumbling about, Grumpy? Sit on the porch and swing while your brother's working his head to the bone. Hey, bud, look. Who's that soldier coming down the street? Huh? Where? Oh, he's not a soldier. He goes to the Military Academy. Gee, he's good-looking and so tall. That's where Kathy wants to go. I don't blame her. I'd like to go there myself. Want me to go out and tackle him? Bud, stop it. And don't act like we're staring at him. Well, hello there, Betty. Well, hello. You live here? Yes, I live here. Well, I live near here now. Oh, you live near here? Yes. Well... Well, I'll be seeing you. Yes. Boy, that was sure a red-hot conversation. I thought he looked familiar. Who is he? That's Glenn Rogers. That's it, Glenn Rogers. I met him at the club dance last week. Sure, I remember. Oh, I've got to tell Mother. I'll bet she can hardly wait to hear that. Out in the kitchen. I wish you wouldn't come busting into the house screaming like a banshee. Dog gone, dog gone, dog gone. What's the matter with you, Sam? I got problems. Haven't we all? Which reminds me, I've got a little matter I want to take up with you. You know what, Daddy? Now, wait a minute. Who's Mike? Oh, he's this new kid I've been playing with. He goes to the military academy. Oh, go on. Well, they're having a party there tonight. The annual spring frolic. Yes. And Mike is going to it, and he has to take a girl to it. I think I'm beginning to see. Dog gone, and I want to go with him, but I can't because I'm a boy now. Well, you've got quite a problem there, all right? Wait till I tell you the rest of it. He doesn't know any girls around here, so he's asked me to get him a date. I wish I was twins. No, I think one of you is plenty. I'll get him a date with my twin sister. Well, now wait, Kathy. Sam, we better think this over first. There's no time to think. Yes, I did. Got one all lined up for you, and boy is she a keen date. My twin sister. I know you didn't, but I got one, and boy is she pretty. You'll just love her. Don't lay it on too heavy. She's got kind of short hair, but on her it looks beautiful. Oh, she gets an engraved invitation? Well, bring it over right away. Yeah, so long, Mike. Sam, that faucet in the kitchen is leaking again. For heaven's sake, what's Sam up to now? Margaret, you'll be happy to know that Sam is, at this moment, reconverting back to Kathy. What? She has just gone upstairs to dress up. In a dress. How in the world did you accomplish that? I didn't. It was done by the oldest known device, the greatest motivating force in the world. Love. Just what are you talking about? A little boy named Mike has come into her life, and he's taking her to a party. And furthermore, there's someone at the front door, and I'll go back and work on the faucet. Which one is it, the hot one again? Yes, you'll find the washers in the bottom drawer. Oh, it's love that makes the world go round. Yes, it's love that... Hello, Princess. Hello, Father, who is at the front door? I don't know, your mother answered it. Let's see now, where are my wrenches? Coming, Mother, who is at the door? Some little boy. And he brought this for you. For me? Yes, he said it was for Sam's sister. Cute little boy. Why, it's an invitation to the spring frolic at the military academy. Where? From Cadet Roger. Is that the boy you were telling me about? Yes, that's his name. Oh, isn't it wonderful? Mother, you've just got to let me wear your pumps, the ones with the real high heels. Those won't be comfortable. But Mother, if I don't wear them, I'll look utterly puny alongside my date. He's so tall. Return to the Andersons in just a moment. They hear something for the girls. Each of the women's services, the WAC, the WAF, the WAF, the Women Marines, the Army, Navy and Air Force Nurse Corps, and the Services Medical Specialist Corps, all need volunteers. Get full information at your local recruiting office. Ah, there's good news in the Andersons household tonight. At least it seems like good news, what with Kathy changing back into a girl and preparing for her date with young Cadet Mike Rogers, and with Betty madly dressing for what she thinks is a date with Cadet Glen Rogers. Right now, all efforts are being turned toward trying to make the former Sam Anderson look like a sweet little feminine type girl. Like this. Oh, this hair of yours, Kathy. It's so short I can't get hold of it to curl it or tie a ribbon or anything. We'll do something to it. Better get her a wig. Ah, turn blue. Hold still, Kathy. I'll try again. Gee, I've just got to look like my twin sister. You look more like your twin brother. Whatever it is, Betty, I haven't time to help you now. I don't know, aren't they there? There's an intelligent conversation. This will be fine. Stand still, Kathy. Nobody makes sense around here. Do parties affect everyone like this? Dad, how much do I get for mowing the lawn today? Here's one kid who's keeping his feet on the ground. How much? Seems to me your regular allowance ought to cover that. I took an awful chance on getting blisters. Yes, you did. But if you wear a heavy pair of trousers, no one will notice them. I'll tell you what, though. I might boost your allowance up to one simoleon this week if you'll clean this other shoe of Kathy's. Mother! Prince Charming will be along any minute and we don't want our Cinderella left holding the pumpkin. That's another old proverb. Okay, give it here. Mother! Yes? Kathy, stand still. Ow! You're pulling my hair. That's the only way I can get hold of it. Mother! Maybe they've been put somewhere else. Has anyone got a pencil? I'd like to preserve that dialogue for posterity. Kathy, for heaven's sake, stand still. My niche! Well, here's one shoe ready. Raise your foot, Sam. There, Kathy. I'll try to put it on. The right rear foot. I'm sorry, but I can't help it. This is like trying to curl a nap on an old rug. Hold your foot steady, Kathy. And push. I'm pushing. My gosh, are you sure these are your shoes? Uh-huh. We'll never get your feet into these unless we fold your toes over. Shall I stop cleaning the other one? No, no. Those are the only party slippers she's got. All right, Kathy, let's try this again. Hold your foot steady. I'll breathe in. Yeah, that'll help a lot. Here we go. There. Don't breathe out too fast or you'll be barefooted again. I'm soaking in the linen closet. What for? What are you hiding for? This is sure interesting. I wonder what they're talking about. That's the best I can do. Come on upstairs and we'll see what we can find for a sash. Dad. Yes? Are all girls dopey? Well, no. Some of them have been known to have fairly lucid moments. What's that noise? Oh, that's Betty coming downstairs and those stilts she's got on. I hope she makes it. You need any help, Betty? How do I look, Father? Let me look at you. Don't move a muscle. Hmm. Radiant. Absolutely radiant. What do you say, bud? Eh. There. What higher praise can you get than that? He doesn't know. Well, yes. I'd say your door, bud. Oh, no, I'll go. I'll go. It's probably him. Don't trip on your way there. Good evening, Mrs. Anderson. Mrs. Anderson. I'm Cadet Rogers. Cadet Rogers? You? Yes, ma'am. I'm calling for Sam's sister. Well, I'm Sam's sister, but... You're Sam's sister? I think there's been some mistake. You're rather big for your age, aren't you? Well, yes, I am. I mean, you wait here a minute. Yes, ma'am. I'll be right back. What's the matter, Princess? Oh, this is so humiliating. This is just awful, but awful. What's the matter? Aren't you tall enough? You should see him. He's about two... In that case, you'd better let him wear the high heels. Cadet Rogers. I know he's just a little kid. Probably cat. I wonder if Kathy had anything to do with this. Stay on me. What? There's a little kid at the door posing as Cadet Rogers. Oh, it was nice to get him a date with my twin sister. Oh. All dressed up for this. Well, somebody better go to the door. You can't leave the little fella standing out there all night. Gee, Daddy, do I look all right? Get to the door and find out. Oh, what's all this moaning and groaning about? It's a long and confusing story, Margaret, but sit down and I'll tell it to you. Hurry up, Kathy. Get going. I'm scared. No, you're not. No hurry in there. You'd better tell him you're sorry you kept him waiting so long. That is if he's still there. Why, Sam? Huh? Hey, what's the idea of the funny outfit? Boy, you had me fooled for a minute there. Gosh, you even got your hair curled. Who did that, Sam? Boy, you darned her to look like one in that outfit, Sam. I'll tell you one thing, Sam. I'd rather take you to the dance than that sister of yours. She's awful big for me. He may be a better teller. I suddenly got the mumps or something and can't go. Is she not the one you've got a date with? Hey, you know, maybe there's an idea. Hey, do you think we could get away with it? I believe you were a girl, Sam. Who is? Maybe I are a girl. What's the trouble, Angel? Mommy! Yes, Kathy? Kathy? Is that really his name? Her name? I'm all mixed up, Mrs. Anderson. I'm afraid all of us are a little mixed up tonight. Well, you're not. Never were and never will be. Well, I'll be dark gone. You sure fool me. Hey, Mike, come on. Let's get going. Who's that? Well, that's my brother. He's waiting out in the car. He's going to drive us out there. Come on, Mike. Okay, just a minute. What's going on here anyway? Well, we're getting it all straightened out, I think. What's the matter with you, kitten? You don't sound like you're on your way to a spring frolic. Yeah, come on, Sam. Kathy, we better get going before my brother blows his top. Sure I do. I look like a boy. No, I don't. It was just when I thought you were sad that... Well, I mean... Well, look different now. You look real... Well, like a real female girl. Yes, sir. And boy, there's not many of them that can slide in a second like you either. Haven't you kids gone yet? They're both pretty far going right now at the moment. Here, Kathy, let me wipe away those tears and you'll be all set. You don't want to go to the party with your eyes all red. Hey, Mike, come on. Oh, excuse me. Why, Glenn? Oh, hello. Hello. I was just waiting for my kid brother. How are you? Your brother? Yeah. Oh, excuse me. Glenn, this is my mother and father, Cadet Rogers. He goes to the academy, too. How do you do? How do you do? Are we glad to meet another Cadet Rogers? There you are, Kathy. You look much better now. Gee, Betty, you sure look pretty tonight. I'll dress up. Well, thank you. Say, you weren't planning to take the kids to the dance tonight, were you? Well, as a matter of fact, I had considered it, but as long as you're taking them... Oh, no, no. I don't want to upset your plans. Maybe we could, well, you know, sort of go together. Well, I guess it could be arranged. Well... Come on, we better get going. We're late now. Yeah, come on, Sam. All right, Kathy. Goodbye, Mommy and Daddy. Goodbye, darling. Have a good time, kitten. Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my. It was a rough fight, but we finally won. But Kathy did look pretty, didn't she? She certainly did. Well, here's her old blue jeans on the stairs. I guess we can throw these away now, huh? Oh, no, don't throw them away. I want to put those with our family treasures, with a note on them. A note? Yeah. Goodbye, Sam. The Andersons will return in a moment. Opportunity Unlimited. That's the future for young women unmarried between the ages of 18 and 34 and our nation's armed forces. 72,000 enlisted women and officers are needed immediately for important assignments at home and abroad. Women with college degrees or the equivalent may qualify for officers' commissions. Registered nurses and qualified medical specialists are eligible for commission and are desperately needed. Go here, local recruiting office tomorrow. Well, the turmoil and confusion to preparing a pair of daughters for a spring frolic has finally died down in the White Frame House on Maple Street. An embrace of weary parents settle themselves in the most comfortable chairs in the living room for a little quiet reading. Like this. Ah. Feels good to sit down. Mm-hmm. I hope the girls will have a good time tonight. Just so Kathy remembers to dance with her partners instead of offering to wrestle them two out of three falls. I think she's learned her lesson. You know, I was just thinking, I believe girls are more trouble to raise than boys. Take Bud, for instance. He just goes along stolidly, never making much fuss about anything, perfectly satisfied with his lot in life. Hey, Mom. Yes, what is it, Bud? Mom, can I have this old dress of Betty's? Oh, no. I don't want to wear it. I'm cleaning my motor scooter and I need some old rags. Oh, by all means, take it, son, take it. Starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson. In our cast, we're Rhoda Williams as Betty, Gene Vanderpile, Norma Gene Nilsen, Ted Donaldson, Tommy Bernard, Jeff Silver and Bill Foreman. Don Stanley speaking. Father Knows Best, directed by Andrew C. Love, was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Paul West and Roswell Rogers. Three times mean good times on NBC. Friday night is your night to howl. To howl with laughter, that is, one for Bob and Ray, the top satirists on the air today. Yes, Bob and Ray is another great Friday night program in the NBC lineup, which also includes the Mario Lanza show and the Roy Rogers show. So keep your date with entertaining radio listening tomorrow and tune to this station, your favorite station of the NBC Radio Network. Now, it's nightbeat on NBC.