 I see it and my expectation that springs from that belief. Things should turn out this way. It should be this way. In order to reconnect with my one goal piece. That doesn't do it. We have two more steps to go. I'm still reaching. Once again, we can say that that's why here's a course of miracles. 1,200 pages that really people have been studying for years. And besides this course, just the whole journey to awakening, through Buddhism and all the different paths, it seems to be a forbidding challenge. And many people have attempted this. And this belief that we're talking about in D and all of those expectations that spring from that belief, it runs real deep. So a lot of times, even as you go through it, it can be a loosening like Ron's talking about. Just as you're going through it, you can feel some loosening and some shifts and know that it's helpful. And even if you do get to the bottom and you still feel like there's something still there, a lot of times I know people will get out another sheet and they'll say, okay, let me work with this. Right in the margins, I've written, I have one that I wrote, the entire back is filled in with stuff. Yeah, I mean, just everything that came to my mind. Someone that when you say, that doesn't get it for you on 10, are you feeling like you're not able yet to let go of the expectations? Is that what you mean when you say it's not getting it for you? I don't have any reason to. I mean, I haven't worked into this piece would be nice, but it's not that nice. You would rather, in other words, peace doesn't seem more valuable to you now than holding on to having her behavior be a certain way. What I have to find is the mechanism to get me there. I have to understand what I have to really feel, what I have to gain. And I suppose how, I suppose how you allow yourself to save face in order to have the end result. That's another good one. Save face. That's another belief. Right. It's another thing. Another worksheet. Yeah. Saving face. No, that's a favorite of the ego. Again, remember that, you gotta move into right-mindedness. And that's where forgiveness comes in. And forgiveness for me, as I was writing here, is basically a three-part thing. First thing I have to do is my shift in perception that, you know, what I've received is special love or special hate or enemy or love or whatever as a brother or friend. Then I have to go to number two and withdraw that projection. That means I have to come out of, out here off the screen, back to my mind. Because I gotta take all guilt and all those perceptions that I've placed out here and I have to follow them back to the mind. And that's that my second step. And then my third step, I have to see that what I think they've done to me, I did to myself. And what I did to myself was that very thinking that saw it out there on the screen. And I'm beginning to understand that to some degree and the feeling sort of changed once you sort of understand that to some degree. I haven't got it all worked out, but it just sort of falls away to some degree when you understand it. I understood what you said. But I think, you know, when I bring it back to my mind and look at this situation, I realize I did it to myself. I allowed her behavior. I personalized it and did it to myself, but what I haven't been able to figure out is how to, maybe, it's how to intellectually deal with that how to let it go, right? How to let that behavior go because it really, you know, everybody, people, other people have remarked in the effect of the woman I ran into. That's what Mary said. They're all going to join me. A woman that I ran into that used to work with this scale, when she found out how we were sort of related, she says, oh, God, I used to get tired of hearing about that swimming ball. You know, I mean, she said, well, I'm not making my behavior, I'm not trying to justify my behavior by doing it. She affects a lot of people that way. Right. What was my point? Your point is that that's not your point, because only because you're a mirror and it gets back to, okay, we're at peace. Do I want peace or do I want to be right? Now, you're still asking your question because you said something, saving face. And the thing is, is what you're thinking is if I let this go, I've got to be crazy. Nancy really does these things. And if I show you all a videotape, next time I'm going to videotape Nancy at this thing. And if I show that at every house in this neighborhood, and we get a group sitting around, there, the 95% of them are going to say, Nancy is at fault. You have every right to be upset. That's the way the world works. But I understand that regardless, if 100% of them said, my God, this woman has something, I still have to be able to intellectualize it, I guess, and make it experience it. Intellectualize it. Because we are intellectualizing it in a way right now. That doesn't help. You've got to be able to experience it. What do you need to experience it? Experience it. To be with her and be with her. I have to, at all, what I have to do is experience what gets me to that point. You have to experience the whole thing. Otherwise, all it is is intellectualizing. And intellectualizing is a step. It's not helpful. It's not a solution. No. There's a lot of intellectuals out there. You know? There's a lot of intellectuals being in the course from top to finish. But it's a bad experience, too. It doesn't mean that you're not going to do something out here on the screen.