 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm your host Jonathan Asley of Jonathan asley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today the topic the only man you should be dating this only this type of man All right really quickly before we get started if you've been seeking help you want some advice and you're going God I'd love to get the mail perspective Then do me a favor and click the link below to schedule schedule a discovery call to see if working with a coach might benefit you Okay, our topic the all Man you should be dating. This is the only man this one type of man. All right I've observed there's really three kinds of people in the world and I'm sure this is going to resonate with you I think there are Givers I think there are takers and then I think there's people kind of them in the middle and From the respects to the takers which I'm sure a lot of you women have felt like you've been in relationship with a taker in other words, you've given giving given and this person doesn't reciprocate in the giving and Giving is different for each person but for the most part. It's actually what I think investing in the relationship And if you've been following my videos, I often talk about meeting at the 50 yard line In other words, you're meeting at the 50 yard line and for a lot of people to people meeting at the 50 yard line a lot of People and a lot of you women have experienced men who are here at the 10 yard line and you keep Giving giving giving and he's not meeting you at the 50 yard line So to me that person that's here and you're here at the 50 yard line But now you're you're giving giving more to get him to come over He's actually what I believe to be a taker and In other words, if he's accepting your generosity if he's accepting your kindness if he's accepting and not reciprocating not investing equally into the relationship Now there's a second type of guy or girl because everything I talk about goes both ways This is not singular to men even though all my titles are driven towards men That's partially just to get you to click Okay, but this is goes both ways, but I think there's some people that are just absolutely Ambivalent in relationship. They're ambivalent in other words. They're not takers. They're not but they're just clueless In fact, I think a big majority of men are what I call good people, but they're just bad daters They're just clueless and they just need a little bit of direction to get them to come to the 50 yard line But that's not always the case But the man but not but and what I believe is you want to date the following type of man the type of man that I call a Giver and this isn't new. I'm not the one who invented, you know Choosing to date men who are givers, but I'm here to say that a giver is More likely to be a better candidate to be in relationship within certainly those ambivalent men and who are takers So now you might be going. Okay, Jonathan. How do I tell if a man's a giver? Okay, and I think this is a great question so I was talking to a client earlier today and She was interacting with a man who lived I believe there is about 40 minutes From each other and he planned the first date near his own home Okay, which happened to be even five miles Further than the halfway point between them. So in other words, she was gonna have to drive 45 minutes I think he lives 40 minutes from her house and to me That's a person who's either ambivalent or unconscious or they're a taker in other words they're making everything convenient for themselves and A real giver would have said hey, let's pick a place near your home. That's a genuine giver That's a person who's conscious and aware of your needs wants and desires Let me give you another example Well, I'm gonna share something personal this one is a personal experience This is the first woman I dated after my divorce and while it didn't work out. I have fond memories of her It didn't work out because I was a total train wreck. I was a total train wreck She should have never dated me. I was a mess after my divorce, but we'll get into that onto another video But one of the things I Notice when I visited her home, she drank a certain type of bottled water or and now I can't even remember the name of it I think it was called Penta or something like that or something close to that So when she visited my home I made sure to have the same bottled water at my house Because I wanted her to feel happy. This was me demonstrate being a giver to a relationship And I'm here to say start thinking of men who are givers start paying attention to they have they show up Are they paying attention to you and going like for example? You're driving in the car and they're like hey is the air conditioning too cold for you That's what a giver does. They're conscientious of the other person. They're not like oh, I Needed to be cold for me. So I crank up the AC not recognizing that you're wearing a Skimpy dress and he's got a full-blown coda. I think you know, it's being conscious and aware of the other person That's what a giver is and that's the type of man you should be dating. That's my my invitation for you In fact, if you're not familiar with the book, are you the one for me? Are you the one for me by Barbara de Angelis? She outlines a great strategy on how to pick a better partner In fact much of my my private coaching is centered around these principles The only difference in the private coaching is this is a generalized thing and private coaching is specific to your needs And you get the benefit of them the male perspective You know, I get to see your blind spots from a guy's point of view and not from a woman's point of view But I highly recommend checking out the book. Are you the one for me by Barbara de Angelis? Along with let me make a shameless plug for my own book what the heck is self-love anyway What the heck is self-love anyway because we all need more self-love We all need more self-love when I say need more the more we love on ourselves the better we choose and the more We're able to decipher if someone is ambivalent or a taker Versus the giver because the only person you should be dating is a giver and start paying attention to the clues very early on because they're there is he being mindful of your needs and and not Putting you up on a pedestal is what I mean, but just sincerely going Oh, let me think about her from her perspective because I know For example, we're to pick a date. That's something I always think let me make it convenient for her because when I make it easy for her I think she's gonna be more apt to be appreciative of me and that's my invitation Okay, I think you get the gist of where I'm going only date a giver only date this type of man who's a giver all right If you're new to my youtube channel click the link below to Subscribe and click the bell so you can get notified of new content And if you don't know me I always end with a big hug of self-love for myself And then I give you a big gigantic hug of love and I ask you to turn to someone next to you and give them A hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives Thanks so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now