 The National Broadcasting Company presents the adventures of Sam Spade detective Is I sweetheart Sam. Oh, I was worried to death this office glass all over the floor holes in the wall That was just business going on as usual during all occasions F Well, what was it all about Sam? They tried if they just tried to pluck my feathers and cook my goose I'm Thanksgiving too. How could they? Oh, they were a mean lot. Are you all right? Hail and hearty every jiblet in place and on a feather ruffled. Did you reminisce Thanksgiving? Oh, it was heavenly. Mama had a turkey dinner, sage dressing, cranberry sauce, candied yams, hard siding A little. Come clean Effie. Well, I had two glasses Everyone was there. Cousin Gertie, Dwight, Mrs. Sloth. I was disappointed when you didn't show up, Sam Did you have Thanksgiving dinner? Sure. Where? At the helping hand rescue mission where there's plenty of free parking and never a cover charge For further details consult the report which I will presently be down to dictate on a tasty Chronicle of foul play that terrified turkey caper For NBC William Spear radio's outstanding producer director of mystery and crime drama Brings you the greatest private detective of them all in the adventures of Sam Spade. Oh You were waiting for having Thanksgiving dinner at a rescue mission where mama cooked a perfectly Thank your mother for me F tell her I'll be over to break wishbones with her tonight and to atone for my social indifferences Here's a little something I brought for you. What is it a blunderbuff a blunder what bus as in step to the rear of oh What does it do shoot Seth? It's a gun our founding fathers used it in foraging for feathered food when they settle this abundant continent And it's mine to do with what you will Pencil boy Did you meet a founding father don't peak date November 24th 1950 to detective lieutenant I see Kelsey homicide details San Francisco police from Samuel Spade license number 137596 Subject Turkey dear Kelsey This was a big week for the cranberry pickers the butchers the sage makers and the stomach pill people But for private detectives it was strictly from hunger My office door opened only twice a day once to let me in and once to let me out and when on Wednesday I heard a knock on the door. I went into a paroxysm of delight come in come in Come in Entry boo under you stand when I ran out of languages I got up from behind the desk walked to the door and opened it Standing there was a small middle-aged man with a pink bald head His blue surge suit needed pressing and he was nervously fingering a strawberry birthmark under his left ear Mr. Samuel speed I am Make may I may I have a moment you may have several but not in the corridor. It's not in my lease I'll come in good good good Well, well you'll have to excuse me mr. Spade. I I've had so few dealings with private detectors I I find it hard to begin. Well, I Perhaps I shouldn't have come at all. Goodbye. No, no, no, wait a minute. Maybe I can help you Well, you see I oh What's the use you won't believe me nobody does I'd really better. Oh now wait wait I'll believe you all I ask is a chance now now. Let's start with your name. Oh my name. Yes. Yes Yes, my name To begin with you won't believe that but I can verify it. Yes. I can it's on the registration book of the old colony hotel In the 1943 phone book and on my old driver's license. Well, I have to know it before I can verify it Yes, yes, of course you will it's a It's Tom Well, that's not so hard to believe. Oh, you haven't heard the rest of it It's Tom Turkey You see I told you you wouldn't believe it. I'd better go. No. No, let me be the first to believe you now mr. Tom of what's your problem? Oh dear dear that's even harder to explain. Well now that I don't believe but Take a breath and jump into it Yes My name is Tom turkey and they're going to kill me for Thanksgiving Well, I had asked for it and I had gotten it and I sat back wondering who had gone to all the trouble to play this funny joke on I was looking at my hand to see if there was any itching powder on it where he'd shaken it when My phone rang I lifted the receiver swung around in my swivel and gazed out onto the street It was Al Coochal calling a private eye whose reputation was shadier than a mushroom seller hi Haven't seen much of you lately spady and they have to get together. Yeah. Well, so long wait wait I'll tell you why I called I've had a pest in my office keeps coming back I think she's a turkey somebody wants to dress I brushed him But your name came up and I just wanted to warn you he might be in the sea. Yeah, I'm confused now I never knew you to turn your back on a buck. Oh, I don't want any of this one his buttons are loose My advice to you is to bounce it. Well, we've never traded advice before Coochal. Why now well after all We're in the same racket if we can't help each other sure Al sure I appreciate it. Give me a ring We've got to get together sometime. Yeah, when I get a free night will Jimmy parking meter. Yeah, we Yeah I turned back to the desk and what I saw in front of me was an empty chair Tom turkey had taken wing I got up and walked to the window and a minute later I saw him come out of the building downstairs and start to cross the street And then I saw something else a large four-ton truck was tearing down the street picking up speed Instinctively I shot at a warning and at the last second Tom turkey scrambled from in front of the truck and disappeared into The alleyway a truck roared up the street. Not its side was printed in gold letters Hey, and you drive it. There was nothing to say. It wasn't coincidence this near myth mishap But somehow I found myself intrigued wanting to hear more of a little guy's story He said the old colony hotel on the way. I stopped at the library found an old 1943 phone book and looked He was listed Thomas turkey it said out of curiosity. I rang the number. Hello. I wonder if you can help me I'm inquiring about a mr. Turkey turkey. This ain't his number no more. I know I haven't had any calls for him for years Screwing me. Yeah, I know I know a new woman named rabbit one Mrs. Rabbit about turkey. Could you remember what he looked like? I don't hey, Manny. What turkey look like? Yeah, yeah, small man around 50 nice fellow man. He's a strawberry under his left ear Yeah, strawberry under his left ear. Well, thank you madam for your information Thanks to Manny. Well, you're welcome, but I don't know what you're gonna do with it. Oh, man. Turkey's dead been dead for years Curious sir and curious sir, I thought they had described the man who came to my office 20 minutes ago And now he'd been dead for years. I continued on to the old colony hotel room 75 cents it said Tom's room was 114 Who is it Sam spade? I mean mr. Spade, I'm I'm sorry I ran away. I didn't think you really believed well I'm not sure I do yet. Tell me was that truck an accident? Oh, I don't think so. No, they they made three attempts before to kill me Somebody tried to push me in front of a train and then a wheelchair full of cement dropped off a building and just missed me and then I Was shot. Oh, who were they and why would they want to kill you? I don't know. I just don't know look Let's tack tack tack I dialed your old phone number and the people who answered said you're dead Oh, a lot of people think I'm dead. Yeah, look, do you still want me to work for you? Oh, yes Yes, please well, you'll have to tell me more than I can't I I guess I'd better tell you everything. Oh It's it's hard to talk about mr. Spade It's not easy to admit to someone You've been a foolish man. You see I just turned 50. I was quite tired of the life I'd let proper dull and unfruitful except in money My business was wearing and so was my wife, Henriette. This has a traditional ring anyway to make it short I decided to run away one day. I drove to work I parked my car in the middle of the bay bridge where the suicide note left it and disappeared Where did you go? Oh all over the world. I took a job on a boat I did on a boat and then I settled in San Paolo, Brazil under another name now your back Why maybe I got lonely maybe I got wiser maybe Maybe I felt I paid enough for my mistakes. Let's just say I'm back I want to be with Henrietta. Have you seen her I checked into this hotel and wrote her a letter saying I wasn't dead I was back in San Francisco and I I wanted to come back to her if she still would have me But I told her I wouldn't bother her unless she wanted to see me that she could contact me here That was a week ago and you haven't heard from her no no and almost right away these attempts on my life began I see. All right. What's her address 3118 Monroe. Oh, she's taken her maiden name again black Henrietta blank. Come on. Let's go. No. No, I'm not going to see her until she asks me look you're going to my apartment Nobody will bother you there and you're going to see Henrietta. That's right Oh, thank you Thank you. Mr. Spade you you do believe me I think I'm really ready to face the world again now I deposited Tom in my apartment with instructions to open the door for no one but me and then I proceeded to 3118 Monroe in the high rent district I was ushered through a comely portico by a japanese maid who told me to wait in a study heavy with mahogany In a moment two people came in the woman wore a black dress Silver pendants flat shoes and a complexion the color of apple meat She was miss. Henrietta black and or mrs. Tom turkey The man turned out to be liander loose the lady's attorney business manager and canasta partner You say you have something important to discuss with me mr. Spade. I do I hope you don't mind my asking mr. Loose to be here not at all Well, mrs. Turkey. I just talked to your husband Tom mr. Spade if you please I say something a rather feeble attempt at comedy mr. Spade. Oh, I wasn't trying for laughs. You are mrs. Turkey, aren't you I was you undoubtedly still are I've expected to hear another one of these cruel jokes about my name A Thanksgiving time mr. Spade someone was always going to stuff Tom based him dress him slice him this season They're going to kill him. They are not going to kill him. He's already dead. He's not dead mrs. Turkey and you should know it I should yes. He sent you a letter saying he was back in san francisco and wanted to see you mr. Spade This has gone absolutely far enough not quite What about the letter? I know of no such letter I see well, thank you for your time. I'm sorry. I bothered you. You used bad judgment and coming in the first place Yes, maybe you're right There was falsehood in this someplace lieutenant and it stuck out like a fat girl in slacks The only thing to do was to go back to my apartment get Tom turkey and confront mrs. T with her husband in the flesh When I got back to my apartment building. I spotted in rapid succession one an ambulance To a police car and upstairs outside my half open apartment door. I spotted three you I've been expecting you what's going on kelsey. Yes serious sam serious Who's that bald headed man moving around the apartment? That's McCracken the new medical examiner checking a stiff on your rug I stepped around you lieutenant and pushed the door all the way open I saw McCracken kneeling over the body and a couple of men from homicide taking photos I moved into the room feeling nothing good A little guy had given me a job and while I was jacking with his wife somebody got to him and in my apartment where I'd stashed him McCracken stood up and I looked down at the body Then I looked again Who I saw wasn't tom turkey at all. It was the late private eye al kuchel You are listening to the weekly adventure of radio's most famous detective sam spade You friday fans of sam spade there's mystery on saturday evening two on nbc Tomorrow the man called x sets out on another mission of danger and intrigue in some far off corner of the earth Herbert marshall stars as the man called x a man without a name who travels the world over Protecting his country's interests. He lives by his wits and his business is danger He is the man called x tomorrow over most nbc stations For top sunday listening. It's another broadcast of the big show on nbc This sunday your stars include fred allen jack carson mindy carson ed archie gardener ed wind and many many more And tulula is your mc as usual this sunday. It's the big show on nbc And now back to the terrified turkey caper tonight's adventure with sam spade While the men from homicide were taking pictures etc You and i lie lieutenants were going round and round on the question If i didn't kill the man found in my room Who did and you were sufficiently impressed with my insults kelsey not to hold me for the murder We bowed to each other and i left Thinking back to the truck that had almost run turkey down. I went to the hains you drive truck rental garage I'm a detective, could you give me a list of names for everybody who rented a truck from you during the past few days? Sure. He handed me a big registration book, and I read every name for the past week. For the first five days, they all seemed to be nice, normal, abnormal names, and then under the rentals for the day before was the name of John Smith. John had given his address as 7,200 Kearney, and I happen to know that Kearney only goes up to 2,200. The dispatcher said that Smith had returned the truck about three hours before, and he remembered him as an ugly, heavy-set, and rough-voice character who looked like an ex-longshoreman. They had already washed the truck so the fingerprints were all outstuck. Mr. Spade again. Look, I'd like to speak with Mrs. Turk, uh, Miss Black, if you don't mind. Come in. Come in. Thank you. Into the dip. Right. Well, I was sure you'd look into this affair a little more and realize that it was just a blind alley, a hoax of some kind. Where's Miss Black? Oh, she's upstairs lying down. The whole affair is upset her, and she asked not to be disturbed. I think the wisest cause of action for you, Mr. Spade, is just to let the matter drop. You can't let a murder just drop, Mr. Loos. The police wouldn't hear of it. Huh? Murder? Ooh. An unfrocked private detective named Al Kuchel. Well, what does this have to do with Henrietta Black? Al Kuchel called me earlier today and said that Tom Turkey was a crackpot, a little man with delusions. He tried to top me off taking his case. He sounds like a perceiving man. Well, he didn't perceive ending up in my apartment with a bullet in his head. Well, that's too bad. But I still don't see... I left Tom Turkey in my apartment for safekeeping, and when I returned, he was gone and Kuchel was dead. Well, that explains itself obviously. This detective knew that Tom Turkey was a phony, and Turkey killed him. It can figure that way, and a number of other ways. Mr. Spade, I have no desire to sit here trading subtleties with you. As yet, no one has demonstrated that the real Tom Turkey actually exists. Alive. Now, until you do have something more concrete and less mythological, Miss Black requests that you do not come around opening up old wounds. You've made an eloquent point. Just tell me one thing. If I can? When did Tom Turkey disappear? I mean, what month? What day? It was, uh... Oh yes, 1943, uh, November. But I'm not sure of the exact day. I think it was in the third week. Could it have been on Thanksgiving? Very possibly, very possibly. I returned thoughtfully to my office and did a little rapid mental arithmetic and came up with a number seven. From November 23rd, 1943 to November 23rd, 1950, was seven years to the day, and I pondered this. What did the number seven mean to the life or death of Tom Turkey? I had just hit upon the answer and was crying Eureka when my office door opened, unknocked, and a visitor came in unannounced. He was ugly, heavy set, and looked like an ex-long showman. I waited to see if the voice checked. You played? Who shall I say is calling? Captain John Smith. And here's my calling card. The first... The first bullet grazed my shoulder and tore the padding out of my coat. The second bullet hit the water cooler and it crashed over water and all on top of me. Where the third bullet hit, I wasn't sure at the time because darkness came rushing through my head like a freight train. When I opened my eyes again, I expected to see St. Peter checking my ID card. But all I saw were the dust balls onto my desk and a fly bathing himself in a pool of water spreading slowly over the floor. There was blood on my hand, but it came from a glass cut. I was in shambles but alive. Captain John Smith had shoved off, obviously thinking his bullets had done their work. Homicide, Lieutenant Kelsey. Sam, Kelsey, have you found anything more about Tom Turkey? Nothing, Sam. Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if there is such a guy. Well, clever, Kelsey. A few minutes ago, a gorilla by the name, believe it or not, of Captain John Smith just tried to kill me in my office. Oh, go on, Sam. I find it hard to think. You find it hard to think, period. Really, Sam? Did you get him? My office is a wreck, and there's a whole blast into my wall, big enough to put a basket ball in. Well, what did he use, a bazooka? I figured, dumb, dumb bullets. Dumb, dumb? Well, that's illegal, ain't it? Kelsey, doesn't it strike you as significant that every attempt on Turkey's life has been vicious as if someone not only wanted to kill him but also mutilate him? Yeah. Yeah, now that you mention it, somebody probably wanted to make identification difficult. Even dead. They didn't want anybody to know who he was. Now, listen carefully, Kelsey. This is real deep. Some Turkey disappeared on Thanksgiving of 1943. A person has to be missing seven years before he can be legally dead and his insurance collected. Now if someone had Turkey insured, they could collect the day after this Thanksgiving, if Turkey didn't show up before. You mean somebody's trying to kill him for the insurance? I would say so, Kelsey. I would say so. Now, hurry up and find him. When I put down the phone, I heard a heavy pounding. For a minute, I thought it was in my head until I turned to face the door and standing there was a small pilgrim with bandy legs in black stockings, pantaloons, white collared coat and still piped hat. Hallelujah. He wore silver buckles and what he was pounding on the floor was an 18th century blunderbuss. Hallelujah. Have I got the right place? Full offhand, I'd say so. If you're looking for Captain John Smith, he just left. Pocahontas is expected any minute. Don't you go trying to confuse me. I'm too thirsty. What's on your mind? Well, I'm looking for a fellow named Dan. I'm so thirsty, I forgot. Sam Spade? That's it, that's it, that's it. Oh, oh, you broke your water bottle, huh? Yeah. Good, good. That stuff poisoned anyway. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Hey, say, do you happen to have any hard cider around? Fresh out. I'm kind of thirsty, you know. Any type of corn squeezes? Here, try this, Dad. Good, huh? You like that, huh? Hey, follow me. But before we go, you suppose we could have a little something for the road? It's busy cold. I gave him a little but not too much because I didn't want him to lose his way. He walked me right down Market Street so he could look in the liquor store windows. He said it gave him a comfortable feeling to know there was so much good in the world. And then we turned right a few blocks until we came to the helping hand mission. Across its gray front, a banner promised special holiday food and comfort to the unfortunate. And on the street in front of it, there was a brass band sending out signals to the fraternity that any minute the great feast of Thanksgiving would begin. The band members and other volunteer workers were all dressed as pilgrims. The quaint conceit. My pilgrim led me to a dark corner of the club room and sitting there unhappily was none other than Tom Turkey. Hello, Mr. Spade. Hello, Tom. What happened in my apartment? Why did you run away? Oh, I was afraid. You told me not to answer the door until you came back. Well, somebody knocked on the door and said it was you, so I opened it and two men came in. Tell me, was one of the male Coochle? Yes, the detective. The other man was a big, ugly-looking fellow. And when they saw I was alone, they started arguing. About what? Well, the detective said that now that he brought the ugly man there, he wanted his money. The ugly man pulled the gun and they started to fight. Oh, dear, I slipped out the door. And when I was halfway downstairs, I heard a shot and kept on running. Well, how Coochle is dead. Oh, my. I thought so. This was the only place I could think of to hide. Oh, when Henrietta finds out I've been mixed up in a murder, she'll never take me back. Henrietta, hey, tell me, did your wife ever have any insurance on you? Oh, before I ran away, she did. A $50,000 policy, but, oh, that would have lapsed by now. Maybe, maybe. Did it have a suicide clause in it? Suicide? Yes. Well, no. No, it didn't. I remember. Yeah. Yeah, you'd like to talk to Henrietta, wouldn't you? All right, here's your phone number. Call her up and tell her where you are. Oh, dear, I, I don't think I could. I'm too frightened. You've got to do something to help yourself. If you don't, by midnight you might be a cold turkey. Oh. I'm sorry. It just slipped out. All right. I'll do it. Well, he went and made the call. When he returned, he said that a man had answered who said Henrietta would come down and pick Tom up. He didn't want to wait, but I sat on him. The pilgrim brought us a dish of turkey dinner saying he couldn't stand food himself, and we munched a spell. In a little while, a limousine pulled up in front of the mission with someone in back whom I couldn't see. The chauffeur stepped out and came in inquiring for Tom Turkey. It was Captain John Smith himself. When he saw me, a look of shocked surprise came over his unhandsome face. Hoping to catch him off balance, I told Adam, it was the liveliest thing that has happened at the Helping Hand Mission in years, and we had a good house too. Money was even changing hands. When I heard the odds starting to go against me, I realized I'd better come up with something. He didn't use this, pardon me. And I did. The bandy leg pilgrim shoved his blunt of us right in my hand. And I swung. Smith dropped like pheasant on the wing. I looked up. The passenger from the limousine was just coming in. Yeah, what's the meaning of this? It means, Leander Luce, that you're not going to carve Tom Turkey up for your Thanksgiving insurance policy. Hallelujah. Drumstick, anyone? End of report. Sam. Well, it's as plain as the cranberry stain on your dress, Sam. Luce says Henrietta's business manager had her power of attorney, and secretly he kept making the payments on Tom Turkey's insurance policy. Oh, and then he'd collect for Henrietta and keep the money himself. Effing? Sometimes your lightning mind frightens me. I'll go type that up. Three chimes mean good times on NBC. There's fun and laughs with the chimes later tonight when Ed Gardner stars in Duffy's tavern. As usual, Duffy won't be there. But Archie, the manager, will definitely be on hand to serve his blue plate special of grilled English language. This Sunday, the big show comes your way again. Tallulah will be your hostess. And the stars include Fred Allen, Jack Carson, Edwin, Meredith Wilson, and many, many more. It's The Big Show, Sunday on NBC. Alcucho and tried to kill you. Was his name really Captain John Smith? No, Wiffy. Could we have a Thanksgiving caper without a Captain John Smith? It wouldn't be right. It was a coincidence, wasn't it? Well, if you promise not to tell any. I won't. His real name was Michael Giuseppe Yablonsky Smith. I call them John, for sure. You're so kind. Are we going over to your mother's for cold turkey snacks? Well, all right, but I don't think there'll be much left. Oh? You see, my cousin Gertie couldn't find a little boy. And mother phoned and said they just found him. He was inside the turkey, eating his way out. Effie, is there no way to curb that tongue of yours? Yes, there's one way. Well, come here. Good night, sweetheart. The adventures of Sam Spade are produced, edited, and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade was played by Stephen Dunn. Loreen Tuttle is Effie. Script for tonight's adventure by Larry Roman and John Michael Hayes. Musical scoring by Ludbluston, conducted by Robert Armbruster. Join us again next week, same time for another adventure with Sam Spade. Hear the magnificent Montague, then visit Duffy's Tavern on NBC.