 Welcome to Dare to Dream podcast. This is Debbie Dashinger and the show has been nominated for two People's Choice podcast awards. I I am making a decision because platforms offer a lot and Although this goes out exactly as the show goes out every single week, which means YouTube comm slash Debbie Dashinger speaker Etc Apple And Google podcasts and many many many more all your favorite podcast sites is where you can Hear this show as well I am on radio BBS radio radio public I heart radio Pandora and more so the show is incredibly available But I thought wouldn't it be really fun to just do a behind-the-scenes and show y'all what it's like to actually be Doing a podcast show So after 12 years here, I am making even new choices, right? Change is freaking good people. It's really good a little later on I'm gonna bring on my guest who is Lisa Czerny Lisa Czerny since I've been doing this 12 and a half years I have to guess to me was on my show 11 years ago When I was at a radio station in Burbank and adorable little me I remember her coming on the show and it's like Lisa Sestovich who? Lisa Czerny who I like they were rocking it out there. So I had lots to learn, right? I was I was quite new leaving from an acting singing career stepping into radio and books and Interviews myself. So here we are low all these years later So I'm really excited to get caught up with her and I can tell you she's living la vida loca because she checks in with herself figures out what rocks her world and goes out and does it no apologies and that speaks to me So I want to talk a little bit about the power of finding safety Finding security because it can be a like really huge influencer for a lot of people trying to figure out Mitigate life and find out where those pockets where I can be safe and secure and it's interesting because safety and security Sometimes can stop you doing the very things that you most want to do like wherever we are, right? And we want to have that foundation that allows us to be stable and resilient even in the face of challenges From life or losses from life. I'm going through one right now I can tell you in real time my mom is Alzheimer's and it's like you never think you're gonna be in that position I'm in that position. I'm the one on the west coast. I'm the go-to person and I gotta tell you I love her I want the best quality of life and it's freaking exhausting So understand for all of us you have your own That you're dealing with and whatever level it is that our inner security our strength That's what's on the inside only that's what gives us that feeling of real safety and peace that the power comes From the silent self within What does that mean that means we're living in the moment? What does that mean? That means we settle into Pure consciousness and awareness. What does that mean? That means maybe of a daily practice or meditation? So find those things because those are actually the anchors That we hold on to and draw upon in every day So I offer you a thought for today and that is my sense of security cannot be shaken. It's within it's already within me It's here already it already is a Meet Ray wrote if you want to conquer the anxiety of life live in the moment live in the breath And so it is so indeed you can subscribe to the show and I Definitely think you should because it's so much easier when it comes right in your inbox every week And I do have master level interviews. I'm on over 40 syndicated outlets Apple Google podcast speaker YouTube BBS Pandora. I heart Stitcher and more and more and more Leave a review five-star review. We love you for it and then people can find this level of conversation I want to thank dr. Dane here and access consciousness for supporting this show and being our sponsors And they're doing amazing energy work out in the world anywhere You are you can get their products or become a facilitator or just attend the classes and I'm telling you They move stuff like that. Dr. Dane Da in here h e r.com as well as access consciousness Com so the question that I have for you is this Do you know how to be unapologetically you? Do you want to learn that being whoever the f you want to be will help grow your mission-based business? My guest today is Lisa journey. She's been mentoring millionaire entrepreneurs for over 20 years She's the host of the groundbreaking confession based GFR, which means get effing real podcast and creator of the 12 GFR Commandments in 2014 after 15 years in business and speaking it on over 750 stages Lisa herself got effing real and she dismantled her successful Seven-figure business as the juicy marketing expert Lisa learned that just because something is successful and people like it Doesn't mean you gots to keep doing it She always knew she had a low tolerance for not being happy because after all she left a Successful corporate career with companies like AT&T and Lipton at age 28 But now she knows her mission to help soulful Entrepreneurs get effing real so they can get out of their own way Help more people and make more money if you want to learn more about her go to our website with it Which is GFR? Dot life GFR dot life and I'm bringing the gorgeous and amazing Miss Lisa on to the show Lisa it is so good. Oh Welcome Thanks for having me. That was a great introduction. I appreciate it Absolutely, I think it's pretty amazing. Don't you like you and I have been around the entrepreneurial block, right? But yes doing amazing things when I first met you like 11 years ago I remember you took that long drive from where you live to Burbank just to come be on person at the station and here we are It was a thrill too. I was like feeling I was like, oh, I'm going to like a real radio station I'm meeting this famous gal Debbie and I I think I still have Some pictures on my old website because I was like I thought I was the shit I mean are we allowed to say sorry. I thought I was really cool And you can I already warned people when I did the An hour ago, she's from packing and she curses a lot. I do it's like I blame it on New Jersey partially You know, yeah, we both have the back east and common as well But it's really cool to get caught up with you and I I love this idea. I find a very refreshing that for you It's like I'm cutting through the BS I'm gonna figure out what my soul is Calling for what song it is that it wants to sing and sing out loud So I want to know right here. Why is celebrating you? Why is for you being so effing real so important so paramount? It is super paramount because I know that I'm a mission-driven Entrepreneur I have a certain way that I want to help people in the world And I know that when the more real I am and the more I'm willing to put myself out there The more I attract the people that I want to help right and I believe that's Universal for all mission-based entrepreneurs that if they can Speak their truth and be unapologetically themselves and their marketing and they're selling and like in their Facebook lives in their interviews That people that need them are gonna just they're gonna gravitate them Like they're just it's gonna be like a dog whistle that only their ideal clients can hear and the more that we Dampen things and kind of make it vanilla and like make it more general and we're worried about offending anyone And we're not speaking our truth. We actually don't get the keys to the kingdom We don't get to connect with the people that we want to help So I'm really curious when I hear you say that what kind of confessions do you get out of people? Can you share a few examples of some of the things that you've heard that were really going on for people inside? Yeah, yes. Yes. Yes. So in my show the GFR show The whole premise is telling people's Stories where their struggle served their mission, right? I mean I had a gal confessing about how she Married a narcissist and he lied to the police and she was in jail for almost three years Because of it. I mean I've had people share with me that That what looked like an accident that paralyzed them was really them trying to commit suicide That was like, I mean so profound a confession We've had people confess about having enormous amounts of debt that they created in their business through investments They had made through mentors like through, you know, overspending, you know, those types of things, you know That's and you know what I'm finding Deb is that there's like There's like a string or like a pattern of confessions for the mission-driven entrepreneur A lot of people that have come through debt a lot of people that have Married the wrong person been in relationships with the wrong person or at least I don't I don't really judge Experiences like that the wrong person but that that somebody that just you know tore them down or abused them or You know left them or you know and that fortified them like the experience They had with that relationship, you know, help them, you know Go grow to the next level and their assertiveness or their self-care. So a lot of things around that You know really and then of course, you know what you would what you would think, you know people that have experienced abuse Things like that people that have had their kids have experiences that they never shared about one of our recent Guests her kid tried to OD and she didn't share about it for years and years But it was her had a profound impact on her mission So it's it's funny because people say when they listen to the show and they hear these stories and they hear Confessions like they're like at first they look at it like well, I've never been in jail I I don't know that I'm gonna relate to this person and then they listen to the person's story and they're like Well, yeah, I wasn't the wrong relationship I did get duped by this guy and oh, yeah I let this person like, you know, you serve my authority and I let you know, I gave away my my Individuality so there's commonalities to all the confession stories. I Know I'm gonna be on your show soon and when I first filled out the paperwork I was pretty clear about my dark night of the soul and you know wrote up a few lines Just you know, so you can launch from there and then things changed like in three weeks I'm like, I don't know if I want to talk about that I think there's something way more prevalent because I could feel stuff percolating, you know, definitely in process right now I love the fact that you've got this forum where we get to be real because it's so easy to be doing what you're doing out in the world I got to tell you and see if you relate how many rooms I walk into and People without even checking it will go, you know, I see you all the time. I know you're really successful I see all that and then, you know, clearly they're following me, which by the way, thank you I love you for that. It's so meaningful and there's a real human so there's there's other levels, you know That are going on and You're not just a thing an object of social media, you know icon You're way more than that you've got way more life than that. Do you experience that too or people come in? They feel like they know you I do and one of the things that I take great pride in is Being transparent and sharing my struggle. I believe all struggle serves. In fact, it's right It's really central and core to my mission with with gfr It's like it's not about just helping people get real Because that wasn't urgent enough that that didn't impress upon the mission driven entrepreneur like we need you now So that's why out of the f you know, it like creates urgency and I You know, yes, I have people come up to me, you know that oh my god, I love your energy I get that I love your energy and you know, and I you're so real and I learned so much from you But it's like the most vulnerable times like when I told my 100 clients that I was Closing down my seven figure business five years ago That like I was so scared to tell them and but when I was real and I just said like It's I just I'm I'm not I just I'm not loving it anymore It feels heavy like I love all you guys and I I see you're getting results But it's just you know, I just shared so authentically and you know what it was like I was shocked with the outpouring of love and how much people Like wanted to be near me even more and like they were so relieved because they were Didn't want to admit that something that they were building doesn't feeling good and You know, so it's really that that authenticity and that realness It's it's it's funny. It's like I didn't realize it, but it's like a superpower like That that I I really will share all the things, you know about my life And I really feel like it's in service of helping people get out of their own way and get get doing their mission So cool. It's actually in my human design It's my it is my superpower and the moment I'm not vulnerable People I'm never going to do as well. So it's it's really all calling no pressure Um, and you know, it's interesting when I hear you say all of this how you Confess to a hundred people. I'm shutting this down. I know it's been great, but I'm not feeling it It's too heavy. I had something else which I think when you're creative and an entrepreneur That's the way there's always these new pieces that arise and call you and You know, there's that little element of again Like I just got here Can we ride this one through to retire yet? I get it all the time and I'll tell you that Um, I had a particularly rough time about five months ago. Um the dealio with my mom It's for real, you know, like really And thank god I've got an amazing uncle back east and an amazing brother back east Thank god, you know, because they pick up a lot of slack and I'm the one here and there are times I feel like Yeah, you're there. I'm here on the west coast. I'm going gray. I'm aging This is too much and I'm trying so hard to do so much in my own life So it's hard and I was having one of those days And my best friend was having this party that was really important to her with ritual for reason And a few of us were gathering at her beautiful beach home to support her And I came in with all this heaviness, you know And I'm telling you the universe is so good because we were just hanging out Bunch of gals, you know, really beautiful spiritual entrepreneurs Some of us didn't really know each other, but we knew her and we're eating and talking and I kid you not The woman who's leading the ritual starts talking about caring for her mother and I'm like And then the whole conversation around the table becomes that People in different increments of doing exactly what I'm going through some of them having mom live with them because she's aged And I felt so blessed in that moment supported by the universe That I had a forum where I could just let it rip and say This is what's going on for me and this is how it feels And the beauty I think of being vulnerable Confessing like that to one another leaning on one another telling stories with one another is that you know, you're not alone and And it uplifts like my whole energy shifted. I was so different after that conversation All the heaviness went away. I was right. I was able to fully be there I love that So the power of confession And I just want to say lisa looks like your screen has frozen. I don't know if you see a frozen screen or people out there Okay, so let's let's just unfreeze it because everybody knows we're in mercury retrograde and I am playing no more mercury I know you're over on the 20th, but i'm done with you for sure It's it's been interesting. Um, I want to ask you lisa something very vulnerable if I may which is What's the scariest confession that you ever made outside of what you said to the hundred Of your former clients or maybe clients who came forward with you, but what's the scariest confession you made? publicly and how did it turn out your Yeah, what is the serious most serious confession that I've made and how did it turn out? Well, I have to say that the one that felt the scariest was talking about my unconventional marriage and I About six years ago My husband who has been I've been married for 25 years and about maybe it's like seven years ago now We opened up our marriage and that can mean a lot of things that I can go into all kinds of details Or you could just listen to episode 11 of my gfr show and I go into it and lots of detail But like the the thing I felt like a coming out and it's funny because Um, I have a membership called the gfr squad. It's super affordable You know 20 bucks a month gfr squad and people gravitate to it because we do confess and we do talk about All these real things and I I remember that We we did a call like a month ago a confession call And everybody was felt like they were coming out deb about something Like we had one gal that felt like she was coming out because she didn't believe in prescription medication And she was kind of worried about medical doctors hearing what she had to say and being shunned, right? We had another gal that was coming out about being spiritual in a corporate environment And so, you know, I for sure felt like I was coming out as non monogamous And you know that the general term just lots of terminology, but I'll just say that's another one ethical non monogamy I I felt like I was really coming out and I felt like it felt more risky than even being You know gay or lesbian or even bisexual now because those seem to be people kind of have a reference for that. Um and So I yeah a couple years ago. I did a my first interview where I talked about This called being married and dating. It was kind of fun And but I have to tell you that before that I had to come out in my own life Like you know what I mean? Like you there's a there's a confession first in your own mind Like you have to admit and confess to yourself and the more and more that I talk about Confessions and the show and I have the squad now we do these confession calls We talk we realize there's there's subtleties like Like you could say it to yourself like you're driving along and you're like, oh shit This relationship is really not going to this isn't really where I want to be 10 years from now I can't imagine staying with this person and you have that thought and it comes in your mind and out as quickly as the Rationals and resistance and logic and could could dislodge it right and So it took me a long time to come out to myself and then come out to family You know confess to family and really to the point where I realized, you know what? My mission is about being unapologetically me. It is about being authentic and congruent and So I I felt like I was hiding a part of myself and that didn't feel good So that was my most courageous confession. It felt I was you know, I was Really worried about backlash, but that was there, you know, like, you know people having judgments and people having certain you know religious connections or affiliations that have certain You know constructs around man. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff that it brings up for people Um, but so far it's been okay. No lynchings yet I've all the people though. I my most curious is your family and I'm as kids certainly, um parents uncles and cousins like how how are they? Well, the first person that we came out to was our daughter who was 10 years old at the time And we have one child our daughter and she said you could do whatever you want as long as you stay married And you know when you think about just what a precious age that is and how we really raised her in an open-minded household So she didn't have a lot of like Really firm like this is what marriage is and you know that kind of thing And so that was a beautiful like first coming out and she was really accepting and then from there we went to our parents And um, they were really accepting too like they I think that they were really honored that we told them And so I don't think they wanted to screw it up by like being all judgy and stuff And I think that you know, I feel like they knew like, you know, we're like, you know, almost 50 years old It's like I think that they knew that at this point It wasn't like they were gonna say anything that make us change it So they may as well like embrace it And you know, my mom is like a poster child for non-monogamy. She loves, you know having extended family She thinks it's really great And you know, they're super supportive and respectful and and most most people have, you know, no one's been outwardly Negative but some people are just you y'all experience this when if you confess something it's like People will they may just be standoffish or that you just might notice an energy where they're not, you know Comfortably as comfortable being around you or they say they don't have questions But then you could feel that, you know, they don't quite get you know get it all and and so You know ultimately we just had to decide that it was way more important for us to be authentic Than it was to have everybody's approval. Yeah, man. You're so brave I really like if I had a hat on it would be off right now I have so much stuff around this I really do because I feel like we live in such a judgmental society when it comes to sex and choices and yet Behind closed doors. I think there's a lot going on and nobody talks about it Um, and it's very easy. Yes one another true, but uh You know, I know about a lot about the world you're talking about and I actually think there's a lot of beauty in that world There's a lot of health in that world should it be somebody's choice So, um, I think the most important thing though that I'm saying is not so much about the world But the fact that rather than take on the mantle of shame You have chosen unabashedly This is who I am. These are my choices. You've spoken about this from stage and I got to tell you This is about as brave as I think it gets Yeah Courage doing something. Thank you. Thank you. I I appreciate that. Thank you. You know, I kind of feel like it doesn't have a face You know non monogamy doesn't have a face and I uh, you know, and I've had people that are in the sex positive Non monogamy world who say thank thank you for coming out because you're you look normal. So people will think it's normal I'm because it gives people permission to say whatever it is x yz in their space sexual or not But I think that's really important the permission to be so what about this and other things and confessions and just being f-ing real What about Turning people off actually turns us on Yes So one of the things that got birthed when I was birthing the gfr mission was the 12 gfr commandments And they were born from me looking back at the 20 years of coaching and mentoring six and seven figure entrepreneurs Mission-based folks right that like where your mission is your work is very personal And I realized that there were 12 ways that they would keep getting in their way like 20 years It came down to 12 things that people would do to keep themselves from getting out there like to you know I would say how they would they would get in their own way And so one of the core things was they would worry a lot about being normal proper or polite Like you know and and that worry would would dampen their marketing that worry would have them really not like going for The business that they really wanted to go for like that worry would have them hiding parts of themselves And and and as a result it would water down their marketing and then they wouldn't attract what they wanted And so each of the commitment so that's one of the commandments number three Don't worry about being normal proper or polite and you can get those on my website that deb gave Um and each commandment has a confession question So it kind of like helps you see if that's the one like if that's your blind spot So this one is um where am I not speaking my truth? So it's such a great question to really look at you know in your life in your business Where am I not speaking my truth like when I look at my website like is my soapbox in there? Like is my passion coming through? You know and and that's why I say when you're treating people off Well, give me an example of that because when you bring up soapbox and website I'd love to know more specifically. What does a truth look like speaking a truth like on a website? Yeah, so this is a this is a great This is a question that I often will ask that helps people see if this is like a thing for them Are they like because they're like, oh, I'm not worried about being polite, you know Um, and then I say well if you could say anything you want in your marketing Or anything anything you want like being out there speaking or or however you put yourself out there And you and you weren't worried about turning anyone off or getting in trouble or Or anybody like rejecting you or judging you right if you could say anything you want and people would just love you for it Like what would you actually say like what what things do you not say? Do you mumbled under your breath or do you rant to your spouse that you don't say? In your marketing and when you're speaking and that's that's where I find people are hiding themselves deb hmm What do you say that's bold on your website besides get out saying real Which is so good. I say I say right, which is pretty bold, right? But I say I say that it is time now To get real about what's getting in your way that life is short That you are mission driven and the world the planet the people the organization you're supposed to help They need you now. So it's time to Like put your big girl panties on and get real about what's getting in your way get the help that you need Speak about it, you know, whatever you need to do so that you can get out there because like right We're at the end of the 2019. Do you want to be at the end of 2020 and again being like, oh I really you know hope that I could you know do this and I went through this struggle and I really wish that I could help people in this way. It's like I would say act like Life is short like act like you know that at any minute Right, you could be given a diagnosis or something that that's what I would say and that's what I do say Wow Okay, so powerful. Um, so we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna let beautiful lisa get her camera because she's too gorgeous to not be looking at all this time And uh, welcome to dear to dream. I feature successful leaders who have created major goals and my question to you So beautiful what lisa just said because she's asking like if life was short I do the same with dreams like if you knew you couldn't fail. What would you do? What would it take for you to feel completely bold in your life and free? And if so, what would that look like? That's what you want to create You can be part of the dare to dream podcast team I love that you join us every week and by the way, I do read all the messages that you send on youtube.com slash debbie dashinger and Spreaker and apple and google podcasts and all the other sites where you listen to the show and even here I'm reading your messages. So just know That if you want to create your dream and be part of this team you get the support of this show I ask for your support too So after 12 and a half years we can sustain this at a very high level For the price of a cup of coffee or more Go to patreon.com slash dare to dream patreon.com slash Dear to dream you can contribute and donate to the show so that this number one transformation conversation Is yours every week? And I thank you for making a difference and donating to the show patreon.com slash dare to dream because it's about supporting you The conversations that help you Find better ways to live and create your big dreams And if you are just tuning in this is debbie dashinger dare to dream podcast I'm interviewing lisa churny. She is the queen of clarity And the host of get effing real podcast her website is gfr dot life And we're going to bring lisa back to the show and hopefully she's She's not unhinged so she she is unhinged, but it's all in the best way and hopefully she's uh I'm still frozen dab. I don't I might you're frozen on my computer too. So I don't know Everything so And I see you guys are writing a lot and I'm very grateful for that and your contribution. So wonderful wonderful um, so we'll just keep this as is and uh I don't know. She's a gorgeous creature. Bring her back. Bring her back. Look at that great screen um, but I'll I'll do this until we can bring her back hopefully soon And uh lisa I have a great quote which is from oscar wild kind of cool segue Oscars oscar wild who said quote A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight and see the see the dawn before the rest of the world And it seems to me. This is a lot of what you help people do and be that By turning people off you help them explode their profits So I want to talk about that a little bit. So when we get effing real when we um answer the questions that you pose to us and say Okay, like what's up in my space? Where am I not speaking the truth? What is it? I need to be saying What am I missing here? That looks like lisa maybe is going to come back on this is great So I'll just I'll just buy time and the funny thing is that I always say is I've been doing this 12 and a half years if I can't run solo yep Who can so I do want to tell you actually quite important is that coming up is the opening of my class the ultimate visibility formula This class is the diggity bomb and the reason why it's a diggity bomb is it is the place to learn how to get booked an interview on radio and podcast in 60 days or less which means that during the time you're with me live in the class You will learn how to do just that go to d e b b i d Dot net Slash visibility debbie d net slash visibility The number one question that entrepreneurs ask is how can I be interviewed on radio and podcasts? So I take you through the inception First of all learn what your message is and how to message yourself out of the world Next all the components you need to put together in order to be interviewed and get a hell yes from the shows You want where are the right shows from you you get over 30 pages of shows and contacts from me plus more because i'm always updating everything that I do in that space and To boot you get private coaching from me during the class How to be savvy and confident while you're being interviewed because you want to be relaxed, right? You want to get great results and how do you get results? We talk about that what to do after the interview how to show up how to repurpose how to create relationship with influencers The people in my class come in either beginners just really wanting this but not knowing it or they've been out there Some of them pretty big time But they're really ready for major tweaking in their space so that they can start doing the big work out into the world So if this feels like you know that once the spots fill up I do close the class because we are intimate and we do build community together Right and we work together and one thing of import when you go to de bbi D dot net Slash visibility for the folks who register now. I am giving away a 500 dollar Strategy session with me about your visibility About your exposure about your media and what's going on in that space So you will get to work with me interact and it's it's pretty much debaum.com So if that appeals to you, I'm just going to click on messages here and oh, so sweet thank you for posting because I don't have a lot of A lot of bandwidth to do that, but yes, please go ahead And I see that lisa Lisa's back and her timing is impeccable and thanks to everybody who's been so cool about posting and saying Gfr her website gfr Is her website dot life gfr dot life and the class i'm talking about Is a debi d dot net slash visibility and we have her gorgeousness herself here So babe, babe rama. I'm going to go back to that It's perfect. Perfect. I'm a fluffer now back to our regularly scheduled program Exactly I love hey, I love the realness of this, you know, I came from being a stage actress So for me, it's like whatever happens you go with it. You keep smiling as though it's part of the show, right? So it was wild who said A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight and see the dawn before the rest of the world And that feels very much to me like what you're saying to be able to see things before the rest of the world gets it Really is being an entrepreneur and a visionary and with some of the tenants you're talking about with the commandments plus, you know, really Taxing people by saying no like what's really going on in your space? What really aren't you talking about? What really is in your heart? Like that's big. So when we When we may turn people off How do we actually explode our profits? Like how does that equation work? The equation is that we focus on the people we're turning on And I mean that gets to like a core fear that we have about wanting to be liked and You know, I've been I have been holding space for people to find the perfect words to describe what they do And attract people they want to help for 20 years And the biggest obstacle that people encounter is their own inner resistance to saying really what they want to say And get over their fear of what people are going to think because when they're focused on what people are going to think They're actually focusing on the people that don't even want, you know So I used to talk about ideal client a lot, you know, and I used to say, you know You will attract your ideal clients and you will repel your non-ideal ones and honestly Mission-driven entrepreneurs, we don't have time to be messing around with people that really actually don't want what we have They don't value it. They don't they're not on board, right? So it's like You know, I used to say a cap full a concentrated cap full of your ideal clients will give you bucket loads of money You know, it's those people that like really Like you're you know, I'm your followers and people that love you adore you dead Like, you know, they just they will invest and they will show up and So it that's where the it it seems like the most courageous act to speak our truth in our marketing to speak our truth about Our mission, but you know people come to me when they for years and years They haven't been and their business is atrophy their passion atrophies because it's not really fueled By the feedback that they want. So it's like it's really being willing to turn people off To turn yourself on to your own business, right? You you I know in all the years That I've known you followed you and there was a period of time I'm not sure you're still doing this where you were like I work part-time and I make quadruple the money. Is that still a fact for you? You work less and are making more Yeah, well, so yeah, I used to have a brand called full-time prosperity part-time hours, right? And and and the the real big promise was six years on your terms I hope people can hear because I teach messaging to Like that was so brilliant You're not pretty brilliant You're not saying joy Happy bliss all these words people try to use that means nothing. It doesn't land. You literally said exactly the solution I get this much work that much pay and that's what i'm putting out, baby Yes, I still am a huge Advocate for people creating a business on their terms But in order to do that you need to get effing real about what you want and what's not working, right? That's another one of our commandment. Let go of what doesn't feel good That's number two and the confession question is what doesn't feel good It seems so simple But if you really sit with it and you really give yourself a chance to answer the question What does people are afraid because they just feel like well, I can't do anything about it Anyway, or it's not like I'm going to stop doing that. I can't stop being a mom or I can't you know Stop caring for for my mom or you know, there's these big things that people You know like put in that bucket, but what about all the little let's tackle the little things first Like what can you stop doing that doesn't feel good, right? Like that that to me, right? So so So how do you create a business that you love is like You have to be you have to decide like I'm going I really want this to feel good So I even though this mentor that I paid a lot of money told me that I need to do xyz That's not feeling good. So I need to find like I need to take what I like and leave the rest And I've even started talking Deb about unmentoring if you want to work with me We're going to be unmentoring because you know what you have learned all the things you have made all the investments You're still not where you want to be you're still not happy. So what do we need to let go of? What do we need to create in a way that feels good to you? You know like what do we need to get up and real about? So I mean I can go on and on about about how important it is to to do what feels good because our our inner fuel as a somebody who has a mission and you know Or you went through something and you want to help people because of what you went through that inner fuel Needs to be stoked all the time and the more that you do stuff that doesn't feel good the more it gets dampened And then how and then who how do we get motivated to like keep going when we get knocked down? We need that fire we need to stoke that fire and that fire is stoked by being real I want you to give us some principles That we don't know about that create success. So pull back the curtain Success principles nobody else is telling us about but you know God damn it. They work Okay, uh now the rom on camera. I am holding up my 12 gfr commandments y'all you're gonna go to my website gfr.life gfr.life 4 slash 12c and you're gonna get them because this is this is I have distilled it from 20 years of working with Entrepreneurs, I've distilled it to 12 things. So I already gave you let's just review I already gave you these are success principles. Let go of what doesn't feel good Success principle. That's gfr commandment number two. The other one that Deborah likes is don't worry about being normal proper or polite That success principle number two that happens to be gfr commandment number three Let's start with those Principle number two. Just so you know, I was born under the star of success principle number two. That's for sure Normal to get it a light. I mean, yeah, not even No, I know and it's and people I can't be rude. I'm not talking about being rude. I'm just like, okay Here's an example. Okay, let me give you an example of don't worry about being normal proper polite That was a huge risk for me My mother-in-law Her best friend that she grew up with from like high school got me a speaking gig. This is like 10 years Got me a speaking gig at um at a conference for djs disc jockey music industry. I was so excited I had just started out. I didn't really have like connections And you know, I was talking about marketing and I you know, I was pretty much talking to anybody who'll listen about marketing And so it was like a year in advance as it got closer and closer and closer I and I had some experience now working with some djs I realized that that they weren't really my ideal clients. They really really like It wasn't really what where I wanted to play. I was playing more with like coaches and you know teachers and you know healers and like people that were like more service based and and um, it was in las vegas and I had to be away from my like then like four year old and I was like You know, I just felt this heaviness about it when I looked at my calendar and I just I just couldn't ignore those feelings until finally like a month before A month before this is my mother-in-law's best friend that she grew up with. I told her I didn't want to do the gig I said, I just it's not resonating with me anymore Like I just don't feel like I'm the best one to talk about marketing to your audience Of course, she didn't take it like oh great, you know, she she she you know She was like you're kind of leaving me here and I said I just know you're gonna find the perfect person. I just know it and literally within like 24 hours She got somebody else And this person was so excited for the opportunity And uh, which reminds me of a quote from one of my mentors Alan come and he says your no is somebody else's. Yes Your no is somebody else's yes And I just like there was so I mean I'd still tell that story because it was it was like rearranged my dna It was so profound an experience because I had so much terror and fear about Canceling this because most people just think you know, you just know not an option Do it suck it up, you know, just do it and I just don't suck it up. I just I don't even know how to do that. I don't I I don't know how to do that anymore at all And uh, and so and then I saw that when I let that speaking gig go. I think I got two others That were within within six weeks of that that were like at these awesome conferences with like heart-based, you know Business owners and like I noticed too that the universe kind of can't bring you what you want If it's if you're like filled up with stuff that you don't want So uh, don't worry about being normal proper and play it has so many applications Not just in your marketing, but it's like how you run your business the decisions you make, you know One of my guests, um, you know, uh on my show talked about, you know She needed to fire people quicker because she was tolerating like these employees that were like sucking the life out of her business You know, it's like there's so many ways that we hold back worrying about what other people will think Um, and then we're the ones really in the one we're the ones that get the raw end of the deal And it's just you know, if you're gonna be a mission-based business owner You got to put your mission first Powerful stuff my god Or any more success principles I um I do but it may have to be episode two because I know we have a finite amount of time here We have about six more minutes and I I may want to get a little more brilliant in but I like the fact that we're gonna tease people and force them to Go to your site to get the rest, you know, and there's so much I can say about that like the time Um, I was in my 20s and I was friends with a gal I remember she's super beautiful and connected and she had money and I just couldn't stand her I'm sorry And she's so wanted to be my friend, but I found her so like grating and annoying and I was friends I tolerated it for as long as I could And then I had a had these beautiful mentors back then my god talk about they were really effing real all the time And they mentored me and said, you know telling someone the truth Is the greatest gift and man was that scary. So she called me and said I I'm understanding you're saying you'd prefer to part ways and you know peacefully and Can I ask why and I said because kindness man, I'll always lead with kindness I wouldn't want to crush someone because I wouldn't want to be crushed But I told her all the things I thought were amazing truthfully about her And I also said and these are the things that are not permitting me to go forward And when we're done, you know, what a relief and at the same time Didn't know in the silence what would ensue and she said thank you because over the years Time and time again people have stopped being friends with me and no one has ever stopped long enough to tell me why Now I'm going to address this and I was like, oh my word. What a gift That was both ways And I've always remembered that if you'll stay in the truth with kindness and stay long enough You know, it's always a gift whether someone takes it or not, but it is a gift They're inherent for both of us. So So much can be done When we align ourselves with truth at that level and what I really hear you saying For people who utilize some of what you're talking about and then there's 12 and I think you've only done three so This is powerful stuff that if we want to be a star in our business We have to shine our own light. We have to follow our path We can't worry about the darkness or what other people think or feel or what we even imagine they will And that's when our star shines the brightest Absolutely being unapologetically you It's a roadmap for getting real and a goal for a business and a life that we can live without regrets Are there is there a tough question? I know you shared one about the website. Is there any other tough question you might Share with us that we can ponder Yeah, I think um One of the questions that I love people to ponder is What would you do if you had faith in yourself and in your mission? And what would you do differently if you had faith in yourself and in your mission? And out of course, it's this confession question for commandment number Six which is have faith in yourself and in your mission But I love this question like what would I do differently if I had faith because it really shows you it kind of illuminates like Where am I holding back or where am I scared or where am I fearful? um, and uh And and sometimes we feel like we're confused You know and I'm the queen of clarity people come to me. It's like I need clarity. I'm confused I can't pick one thing Um, I don't know, you know, there's too much to do. I don't know what to do And I push back on people like, you know You can pick it's just like you're just not you're not being real or you're not admitting to yourself Actually, what you really want to do what you really want to pick you're so clouded with what you think you should do What others think you you know should do what you've done in the past Right, but if you just really say What would I do differently if I had faith if I had faith in myself and my mission What would I do differently? It's so illuminating to really be a deep inquiry with a question like that Wow That's super great even for me to hear right now. So I've had new pieces of my business Really unexpected be presented to me and And they're very exciting and you're right as I'm listening to you. I could feel that space of choice Good question tough question, but good because Beyond the path people, right? That's why we're here. That's why stuff comes to us So again lisa churny gfr.life and the 12 commandments are where? Just forward slash slash 12c gfr.life forward slash 12c as in commandments easy So I asked you this 11 years ago. I get to ask you this again because my god All right, how much we change this is something's done. Don't change Dream What are you next there to dream me? So what are your future dreams and goals? My dear to dream is to have Everybody on the planet embracing their unique expression Just loving and appreciating our differences Celebrating our differences feeling free to be ourselves And serve in the way that we want and show up for people that we want Embracing their unique expression. That is my ultimate vision And what do you do every day that keeps you effing real? What is the ritual you do every day or what is your practice? Well, I'm a big meditator and in the year that my business grows seven figures was the year that I learned to meditate and I You know, I I wanted a big I felt like I wanted a vacation every freaking day And I realized that even if I went on vacation I wasn't going to get the feeling that I that I was longing for So I do trans announced on meditation two to three times a day. I also love doing guided imagery meditation like pick an app You know, there's awesome apps and there's there is actually nothing more potent than shutting off our brains slowing down our brains like Dropping into what's real being able to hear our inner voice quiet things down see And then when we do we could see more clearly what's holding us back like addictions or You know ways we're distracting ourselves or fears that are coming up and it's just it's so illuminating So that that's being quiet whatever that looks like for you y'all, you know, like you could go for a walk You can listen to music you could dance you could pet your dog You could cuddle your kid like but to actually be aware like okay. I am being present I am slowing down. This is part of my meditation. This is this is me getting in touch with me This is me hearing my own inner voice nothing nothing more valuable than that I would love to know I feel like every year lisa has a theme For each person indigenously What has your theme been this year? What are you learning the most? About stepping the most into curious the most about this may sound uh, uh like planned or Canned but get effing real like I I believe that mission driven entrepreneurs We need to walk our talk We need to do our own work. In fact, when I'm mentoring people Like one of the things that themes that comp constantly is like how is that challenge? How do you need to do your own work to get through that challenge? And then how is that going to be part of your work? Like it's so holographic And such an upward smile spiral of us as mission driven entrepreneurs Needing to do our own freaking work. So like getting real like is my theme like where else can I get real? How much more real could I be like I'm recovering from surgery foot surgery and I it is taking me out And I've had I had to cancel my interview with you and reschedule and that was freaking hard talk about intergame I was like, oh my god, it's demi-degenerate. I can't you know, and it wasn't any of I have to cancel I chose I just chose it didn't feel good. It wasn't a line. I didn't want to be on camera I didn't want to be on I didn't have it in me like and that was such a profound like self-care thing And then I just like watching things unfold that day and what was really meant to be and I know you had your like that Was a gift of time for you and so it's just um You know getting real and being real and and being a model showing people what that looks like You know that is my theme for this year on into next year. Just stepping it up on the get real game And so you've got your podcast And I know that people who are in your group can join after the podcast to get intimate with the guest So what talk about what are the ways people can work with you if they want to get everything real Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I know I saw funny. You're not the only one The first thing I do is give permission people permission say the f word. It's quite freeing I know it's pretty awesome. It's pretty awesome Um, the first the first the first thing to do is to go to the podcast and you will be inspired by the stories The I call them wormhole It's the gfr wormhole like the struggle that serves a purpose and you will hear you will hear it all And it will make you feel normal and and give you a feel so check out the podcast that you know get fucking real and Then um, we have a community the gfr squad, which is oh my god. It's amazing It's 20 bucks a month right now deb or 200 for the year and people get all of the after the show Special content. We do a call with me on zoom once a month called the confession call And we use one of the commandments each month as a theme Which is super fun and people people just find like there's no other place for them to let their hair down and be real Like you don't have to show up being all perfect and people Right. It's it's really it's so it's it's it's really a comfy wonderful awesome place. Um, and then we have a facebook group It's a private facebook group only for paid members And uh, so you can go to the gfr dot live fortress squad and check that out And we still have our founders special going on now because uh, yeah, that's we're only, you know, like four or five months into it So we're still looking for founding members It's a really a phenomenal place to be um, like no other online um And then if you really want to you know, just really um, put your feet to the fire and get real and open up to What's possible in your business? Of course, there's ways to work with you more closely and there's also information about that on gfr dot life That's gorgeous. Oh my god woman lisa. Do not wait 11 years. We have to do this way sooner very refreshing Thank you. I think it should be at least animal Okay, let's pound it out Are you awesome? Thank you for sharing your brilliance today on dear to dream. This has been Truly, really amazing. I feel super blessed and you can see why it is so phenomenal for me to be part of the show And who I get to source and share with you Um, and lisa is just an a major fine example of that I'm going to end today's show with this quote from mary oliver, which is Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness It took me years to understand that this too was a gift I am next interviewing on dare to dream my guest sythia clark. This woman is amazing. I mean she is She is more certified in some of the most amazing modalities Specifically, we're going to be talking about this people Palm reading She is a consultant. She's a compatibility expert. She's the author of stories in your hands She's worked with over 7 000 people to unlock the truth of their highest potential. Enjoy She's going to be doing a live reading on my hand And even more because she's also got dating apps now for people. I think that is so smart Like you can look at somebody's hand on her app and get a lot of information. It's so beautiful Subscribe to dare to dream podcast. It's your number one transformation conversation Subscribe also to the inspirational youtube so you could see me and my guest You don't have to just listen go to youtube.com slash debbie dashinger Thank you for joining me today on dare to dream if you're ready for the ultimate Visibility formula if you want to get booked on radio and podcast in 60 days or less to get interviewed and get really great results Go to debbie d net slash visibility. Remember, it's with an i debbie. I d dot net slash visibility Remember the secret of success is having the courage to begin in the first place Thanks for joining us