 session already Shannon Boudram is the esteemed author of late young people's experiences with sex in an easy access culture and she's a certified sexual educator and sexologist and she is here with us here on the show but it's good to actually have a professional here to guide us through has to give you the professional tips to doing it was great about these tips that anybody can do them right now here today after the show so it's nothing that's like needs an expert or certification for that okay well good stuff we're going to talk about ways to actually improve your sex life. These are easy ways. We hear about it all the time but it's a busy world and people are all over the place maybe not focused on what they can actually be doing to make things better. Exactly and we want to ask how can we extend our sexual boundaries. How can we engage in riskier more outrageous behavior and then still emerge the healthier for it. So the very first tip speaking of being on the go and being busy one of my favorite things to do is kagels. Yeah kagels are the exercise for your PC muscles, your public floor, yeah, you can I'm doing them right now issue now we're doing that I'm sure you guys are going to them no one will ever know. And they're great reproductive health and they're great, you know, of course, like a muscle if you don't use it, you lose it and when you lose it stuff starts to go bad. But in addition to that women who work their kagels have more control over their orgasm and in addition it brings more blood and oxygen to the area. So if you guys to exercises that are awesome you can do every single day. This is stuff I will not hear from my trainer at the gym so go ahead exactly. So these are different the first one is the stop light one so that's when you get to turn a left turn or a right turn, you know that sound that yeah pulse release pulse release pulse release pulse release and when it's your turn to turn you're going to hold and release and every time you hear a turn signal when they're in the passenger seat, the driver seat sometimes on the bus to do this exercise is also that's your clue to do it as soon as you hear that sound like a pavlov response pulse release pulse release pulse you know what's good about that everyone knows how to do a kagel, but we forget to do them because there's nothing that is signaling to us to do it and most of us are just you know, I'm busy at the grocery store I didn't think about my pelvic floor. Yeah, so this is a good signal this is a good signal that it's bad I honestly on cue I will do it sometimes that people you're a clock going on like. Okay so we've done the kagels we've done the exercise is there another exercise. Yes number to another tip I want to get to is flirting shamelessly I'm talking about writing your name on lipstick and passing into the bartender not trying to get you divorced right, but flirting is something an activity that we can do to invite sexual pleasure into our lives. The beautiful thing about flirting if I flirted with you right now is it is reciprocal when I give you that energy, you're probably going to give it back to me if I say your hair looks fantastic today thanks and see what I'm already getting that I got the compliment that we give off that sexual energy we get it back. Yeah, the easiest tips you can do is creating S's with your bodies just little shapes that you can do just to kind of give a little bit of intrigue I'm going to lean in as if you're about to tell me the lot of 649 numbers for tomorrow right and I'm going to tell my head and give you lots of eye contact and say Tracy you look stunning today. That works and just that little bit of sexual energy that we give all day long to our friends to our co-workers now it's a longer just to the bedroom, our sexuality is for everybody and everything so it's awesome so okay so you're advocating flirting with people who are not your significant other like just send out to the sexual signals and that is actually going to help you feel like more of a sexual animal exactly what you give it to your significant other you don't know spare the one who deserves the most you warm up all day long so when you get home you are like a beast you have all the energy you are on full right now ready just to explode. So I think it's a practice that more women in particular need to be conscious of the sexual energy that they're giving and receiving back and giving compliments is the easiest way because the more that you get the more that you get back the more that you're aware of yourself as a beautiful vibrant vivacious woman that you are that is lovely and I think that there's a lot of sort of shame and associated with flirting we're always hearing with women you shouldn't do that you got to be a nice girl. So I think it's nice to sort of reclaim your sexual energy you're doing it again right now. It's working. I mean you're so hot. Okay so now we've done our cables to the stoplights. We have flirted with everyone you know this way shamelessly what else do we need to do to improve our sex lives today. Okay last but not least one of the great things I did my mom did for me was she gave me a tool kit when I moved into my place just like in your measuring tape in your hammer those basic things every woman needs their own sexual pleasure tool kit she gave you a sexual pleasure she didn't give me that I mean my own but she gave me the regular tool kit gave me a great idea this can do other things as well. I was like your mom's awesome if she did that. Well, she is she is awesome. So I think that for every one orgasm that women have men have 3. So there is a pandemic deficit that's happening right now so you have to take matters into your own hands literally haha so I have 2 things that are in my kid that I travel I travel with me one is just a very small beautiful jar of coconut oil now this is great for your hair for your tea and exactly cooking whatever it is you want to also amazing for the vulva whether internally or externally so this is anti-bacterial anti-fungal natural for pH and the best lubricant you will ever use in your whole entire life really slippery no art officials it's awesome. Oh my gosh okay go try them today let us know exactly joking you don't have to let us know feel more sexual on your space shannon you rock.