 the narcissist comes back when you do this that's what we're gonna be talking about in this video there's something that when you do it makes them come back and yeah i mean i know a lot of you want them to come back even after everything you've been through with them just can't help it with the trauma bond it's like a drug you feel addicted to them so you want to get them back and maybe at the moment you're not really hearing from them much maybe they're off somewhere else with their new supply as they usually do and yeah you're just wanting their attention you're wanting them to notice you again and while i do not advise or encourage that i know that some of you are going to try and get them back regardless so you know i could go on and on i could write a book with all the reasons why you shouldn't want them back you shouldn't try to get them back but i know many of you are at that stage where all you want is for them to come back whether it's for closure their validation or maybe you just desire to relive it again and i don't mean the abuse of course there were some good times i mean that's why we stay for so long but whatever your reason is i'm here to give you the truth i'm here to give you the information so here it is you want to get them back just forget about them go no contact cut them off focus on yourself focus in your life take your attention away from them and make other things more important in your life than they are stop seeing them as someone who is so significant because when you do that they will sense it they will sense that your energy is slipping away and some of you will already know what i mean when i say that because it's like that moment when you decide to go no contact when you decide to move on with your life suddenly here's the narcissist they're blowing up your phone texting you sending you a message on social media or they just show up at your house or at your work that you decide to move on the moment that you just want nothing to do with them anymore you just want to forget about them then they're there and you can't get rid of them when you were trying to get their intent their attention the entire time the moment you just take your focus off of them then they're there it's crazy but it's just how it works and it's because it's like they have this sixth sense when they know that they've got your attention and focus on them and you're thinking about them they could just leave you alone they can put you on the shelf because it's like some level your energy is still being transferred to them but then as soon as you cut that energetic cord and you're no longer focusing on them they immediately sense it and they want to get that back so that is why they then hover you and you can use this to your advantage if you want to get them back because all you have to do is take your attention and focus off of them and put it back on yourself and your life remember the things that you used to like the things that you were interested in the things that you were passionate about and i don't know what those things are to you i mean we all like different things we're all interested in different things so some of you may have enjoyed painting others may have enjoyed playing the guitar hiking whatever it is get back to doing that again do the things that you love the things that you're passionate about because when you do that you are taking your time energy focus and attention away from the narcissist and putting it back on yourself and the things that you enjoy when you do that they will sense it and yeah these are good things that you should be doing anyway these are things that are going to help so you should be doing these things regardless even if you don't want them to come back you should still be putting your attention and focus on yourself and your life and things that you like things that you are passionate about you should be doing that in any way no matter what you're trying to do if you're trying to heal and move on you should be doing that as well so yeah that's really yeah that's all you've got to do it really is that simple and this really works with everyone it's not just narcissist I guess we we want things that we can't have or at least we want things that we think we can't have and then with a lot of people the moment that they realize that that thing that was once out of reach comes within their view and they they feel like they can just reach out and grab it then at that very moment they don't even want it anymore because they look at it like if it's so great then how can I just reach out and grab it so yeah you can use that with a narcissist because they think the exact same way they really do they want things that they believe they can't have and you just always have to stay out of their reach never let them feel like they have you because the moment they feel like they've got you then that is it and that is why many of you you may have felt like everything was fine everything was okay until one day you really committed yourself to them you said okay this is a relationship you're my boyfriend you're my girlfriend or maybe you married them or you had children with them and then it's like as soon as that happens everything changed they no longer desired you they no longer cared about you it's like you no longer matter to them and the reason for that is because by that point you and no longer out of reach they felt like they've got you you're not going anywhere so they just began to take you for granted so yeah if you want them to come back you just have to stay out of reach keep them at arm's length never let them feel like they have you and they will keep coming back that's how you get a narcissist addicted to you so again use this information wisely and remember that I do not advise or encourage anyone to try to get them back that's really your choice believe that we are or grown adults here we can all make our own decisions so yeah just use the information wisely that's all I've got to say for this topic but before I go let's do a quick Q&A question and answer if you have any questions for me for Narxa Fiver let me know in the chat down below right now and I will read it out and give you a response so yeah let me know down below now in the chat what is your question I will give you an answer while we're waiting for the questions to come in let's take a look at the view over here really nice view it's quite far away but you can really see everything and there's this lotus tower there I went up there about a week ago really great views from there okay questions coming in Drazik Drazik not sure how you pronounce that but the question is that oh wait no that's not a question okay never mind oh wait yep there it is there's another comment there Drazik or Drazik says can a narc experience genuine guilt that is a very interesting question and there is a very deep answer to that that's really another video on its own but I did say that I would answer any question so I'll give you my answer to that can a narc experience genuine guilt my answer is yes many of them can experience genuine guilt I mean those who are higher on the spectrum malignant narcissists psychopaths many of those most likely cannot experience genuine guilt they are too far gone but the lowest spectrum narcissist yes of course they can experience genuine guilt but the difference between them and us is that they're not going to experience that for a long period of time and they're not going to reflect on it they're not going to examine those kinds of emotions instead they're going to project that guilt onto you they're going to deflect it but yeah just to answer your question many narcs can experience genuine guilt cj free how can you tell if they are stalking you on social media if you're still in contact with them it's going to be pretty obvious if they're still stalking you because they will accidentally will intentionally bring things up that they've seen on your social media if you're not in contact with them then you may find them liking a post commenting or you may find that they block and unblock you a lot because they they want to see what is going on in your social media so those are a few ways that you can tell if they are stalking you on there jeneva asks is it that i am just fortunate that i haven't heard from narc in 14 months i don't think that's uncommon for people to not hear from the narc in 14 months i mean that just means that you are the secondary source of supply or tertiary source or maybe you were the primary source but you've now been demoted to a lower position and someone else has been upgraded to the primary source so yeah it's not uncommon and you shouldn't really be surprised that you've not heard from them in that long because remember they can just discourage you and move on so easily once they've found a suitable source of supply it will be like you never existed you never meant anything to them but don't take it personally because it has nothing to do with you they never even took the time to get to know you so they barely even know who you are you just supply an object and that's about it john farkas says hello i have to get a divorce she is a liar and exaggerates everything how is it they always believe the liars that is a very interesting question and another one that i could do an entire video on that i could probably write a book on that why do people always believe the liars and why is it that so many people end up relationships with liars cheaters manipulators why is that and the reason why is because people who are fake liars manipulators they just seem to go above and beyond they go out of their way to prove that they are the opposite of what they are they're willing to do things that genuine honest loving caring people are not going to do and it's as simple as that that's how they beat out the crowd that's how they stand out that's how they end up being chosen and you cannot compete with these types of people it's as simple as that you cannot win because they have years of practice and if you're watching my video you're just not capable of doing what they do so of course they are going to run circles around you but there's not much you can do about that all you can do is be yourself let your actions show your character stick to the truth and those who believe you will believe you and those who don't you just have to let them go that may not be what you want to hear but that's really the only way that's helpful to you anyway but yes i agree that a lot of times people believe the liars caroline 2000 please what's better block or ignore a lot of difficult questions tonight but i do enjoy it i i like the challenge and i would say that unless you really have to you shouldn't block them and i have actually done a video on that as well it's three reasons why you should never block the narcissist i say never but of course there are situations where you might need to block them they're really harassing you if they're getting on your nerves they're giving you anxiety and you can't sleep at night and in those cases just block them get rid of them but otherwise blocking them it may give them supply they're gonna see it as a reaction as though they are the cause of it so they're the reason why you are blocking them which they probably are and they may also react to that by advancing with their supply or even trying to get revenge on you stalking you so that's why it is better just to ignore them just fade out don't make a big scene out of it that's always the best thing to do when you're dealing with narcissists don't make it so obvious just fade away just looking through the comments here yeah i mean you know people do tend to believe liars and manipulators that's just the way it is that's the way it's always been and that's probably not going to change anytime soon i mean as we know that the family dynamic the scapegoat child is always alone isolated from everyone not just in the family but they don't tend to have many friends or relationship partners they may even be a target of their community and the scapegoat child is often a truth teller and yet no one believes them it's interesting it's just how it is because these types of people people like us we might not want to admit it but a lot of us we are very innocent and naive we've been sheltered we haven't been allowed to experience real life as it actually is and when we actually do when we have to deal with these situations it shocks us it overwhelms us we don't know how to deal with it because we're not doing it and maybe we don't have the knowledge the experience but it makes a lot of sense that's why we all end up on youtube watching these videos i don't think there's too many narcissists who end up in these videos because they've already had so much practice so much experience in that arena so they already know exactly what they need to do in order to trick and lie to get their way to get out of things but we are so confused we have to go in here and watch these videos to try and figure out what the hell is going on and yeah that's just how it is i mean that's why there's so many victims of this because these narcissists they beat out the good genuine authentic people they do they know how to stand out from the crowd they're willing to do things that most people would not do in the beginning and that's how they get us that's how they get us by the time we realize it it's too late it's like our lives have passed us by and then we can't do much about it but then that's why we have to spread this awareness so then maybe other people want to have to go for it at least not in the way that we did but a lot of people there's really nothing that you can tell them like if you try to warn the new supply you try and tell them they're being tricked they're being manipulated they're being lied to they're gonna think you're the crazy one because they're looking at the narcissist like that that's that this amazing person this person really loves them and cares about them just as you used to see them when you first met them i'm sure there was nothing no one could tell you then so it's like everyone has to go for this process on the road and sometimes i don't know maybe you might feel like why can't i just be the narcissist why can't i be the one who manipulates this kind innocent person and then i can be in a relationship with someone who's nice and then i can change once i've found them once i've got them and then we could be together but it doesn't work that way you can't just suddenly become narcissistic and trick someone into being with you does not work that way the narcissists are gonna beat you every time that's just how it is i mean you can try but people are gonna see the incongruence they're gonna realize that something is not right you're not in harmony with yourself you're not really that type of person people just have to do the work and heal on their own you can't fix anyone you can't save anyone you can try but you're never gonna succeed the only thing you can do is fix yourself save yourself i think many of us we think many of us we are what we were waiting for someone to come and save us someone to come and show us the way but i think at some point we realize we are the person that we were waiting for all along and if you haven't realized that yet you need to become that person whoever you were whoever you were waiting for to come and save you you need to be that person be that person for yourself because you know that that is actually quite toxic as well to put such responsibility on someone to come along and rescue you that's not fair and most often that person ends up being a narcissist anyway so yeah depending yourself that is my advice don't be afraid to go through certain things that's how you learn that's how you gain experience might not be nice at the time but once you go through it you'll be okay you'll get out of it things will get better you look back and laugh about it it will be an interesting story to tell people i'm just sitting here on the roof later at night it's really peaceful feel good feel happy and i'm not saying that everything is perfect in my life yeah there's definitely worries that i have things i'm unsure about but i'm okay i'm okay with that just have to be at peace with it don't push it away don't resist it just let it be there all right 101 live viewers please give this video a thumbs up if it was helpful for you helps to support our community let's get more views on these videos share the video as well you can share it anywhere on youtube facebook instagram twitter whatever you got share this video with your family and friends let's get this message out there hit that subscribe button down below and if you would like to speak to me one-on-one you can book a coaching session with me through my website it's noksurviver.co.uk you can message me anytime as well if you need someone to talk to just head to my instagram it's noksurviver youtube and also i have new pictures and videos on that day as well so you're never alone you've always got this community we've got dozens of people on here you can leave a comment underneath the video anytime people will read it i read the comments every morning and you can share with me from my website noksurviver.co.uk you can message me on instagram noksurviver youtube and if i'm not available at the time i'll get back to you as soon as i can and until then you can check out my pictures and videos i've got new ones every day on there on my instagram noksurviver youtube so yeah you're never alone i've always got that support and that's what i intended when i first started this channel four and a half years ago was to give people something that i never had when i needed it that support network so you got it make use of it use it to your advantage and yeah until next time you will have a great day