 How do narcissists react when you know who they are, when the narcissist knows that you know? When they know that you figured them out, how do they react? Before you had figured them out, you were susceptible to their revelation. They were able to use you to meet their needs. You were an excellent source of supply for the narcissist, but once you figure them out and they catch on that you have figured them out, you're no longer a good source of supply. Because you are holding them accountable for their actions, you're not seeing them in the way that they want to be seen. You're seeing them as they are and that is not something they want to deal with. They don't want to be accountable. They don't want to be exposed for who they actually are. They don't want to take responsibility for themselves. Narcissists need constant validation. They cannot deal with people holding them accountable. They cannot deal with people telling them that what they did was wrong. They cannot deal with you not giving them attention whenever they need it. They need the relationship to be all about them, often at the expense of your health and well-being. They need to be able to control you. They need to have influence and authority over you. They have to control how you think of them and how other people think of them. There's nothing more important to a narcissist than their image of reputation. They care a lot about how people view them. They need to be able to get you to do what they want. As though if you do what they want, then they will be happy. This is their narcissistic supply. When you're telling them everything they want to hear, when you're giving them whatever they want, whenever they want it, when you don't hold them accountable for anything, when you act as though they never do anything wrong, and you just forget about your own feelings and needs and just focus on theirs. They do all of this because it minimizes the risk of abandonment. It minimizes the risk of you leaving them. Narcissists feel very vulnerable. They always feel like they're at risk of danger or harm, or if they're at risk of losing their supply. And that is why they always have to be in an authoritative position where they can give orders and make demands. But when you stop following their orders, that is when they're going to realize that you know that is when they're going to feel like they're at risk of losing their supply. They will become very angry. They will try to punish you. And most of all, they will try to prove you wrong to the people around you. When they know that you know, they will often discard you and then immediately find someone else. They will display their new relationship on social media in an attempt to provoke envy within you or to show defiance. They will tell all of their friends and family that they're so much happier with this new person because they need to convince everyone that you were the problem. But none of this has anything to do with you as a person. There was nothing you could have done differently. Narcissists are very weak and insecure. They will do whatever it takes to dodge accountability for their actions. And when they know that you know, they will leave you like you never existed. Like you never meant anything to them because you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation. You're no longer a good source of supply. And you're actually a threat to their false self. You're a threat to their image and reputation. So don't think that this has anything to do with you. Don't think that you're not good enough. You were better than they deserved. And nothing good comes out of being around a narcissist. Be thankful that you have this awareness. Be thankful that you have figured them out. The narcissist may have discarded you, but that is actually a blessing in disguise. They only left you because you weren't willing to put up with their abusive behavior. You weren't willing to be their doormat or their emotional punching bag. When the narcissist knows that you know, it will cause a narcissistic injury, which will then be followed by a narcissistic rage. At this point, their mask is all the way off and you are face to face with something so unpleasant and disagreeable, something so immoral and harmful. You are face to face with a beast, the monster, an inhumane, cruel, violent and depraved person with brutish and untamed characteristics. A savage, a barbarian, someone so fierce, violent and uncontrolled, someone so vicious and aggressively hostile. You will see things that you may never have seen before. You may never have imagined that a person could even act in this way. It's like they become the exact opposite of everything they were in the beginning. When they experienced narcissistic rage, they can become very dangerous. Because you have taken away their supply, you have taken away their source of validation, you have removed yourself and just by seeing them as they are, rather than how they would like, they feel like you are trying to expose them. Because you are no longer validating their false self, you are no longer validating the illusion that they were trying to portray, which is something that maybe no one else has done before. By you just seeing them as they are. It's enough to trigger narcissistic rage. This is a coping and defense mechanism. It's their way of trying to deal with the situation because now they feel like they're not perfect. They feel like they're flawed when the narcissist is trying to portray an image of perfection as though they never do anything wrong, which is why when you see them as they are and you point out faults and mistakes that they have made, or even if you just try to give them constructive criticism, it can make them really angry and upset. When the narcissist experiences narcissistic rage, they will say and do whatever they think will hurt you the most. They will call you all sorts of names. They will bring up stuff from your past. They may damage your property and even become physically violent. They will deny anything that you say. They will project their insecurities onto you. They will shift the blame onto you. They will gaslight you. They may even try to smear your name and ruin your reputation. Or they will play the victim. They will act as though you didn't do enough for them. You didn't understand them. You didn't treat them right even though you may have gone above and beyond to meet the demands and expectations. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissist. They can never be satisfied. They will always have a bone to pick with you. They will always have a reason to argue or disagree. They will always have a reason to be annoyed with you. So they will use that to play the victim role. But it really depends on your individual narcissist and your situation on whether or not they will attack you or just play the victim. Once some time has passed their rage may become less intense, violent or severe. And then they will go back to manipulating you again. They will go back to the love bombing. They only got angry because they were trying to gain control over the situation. So once some time has passed they're going to start being nice to you again in an attempt to gain control over how you think of them or how other people think of them. It's all part of the cycle of abuse. They still know that you know but they just see it as though they have to win you over. They have to make you question your perceptions of them and this is what creates that cognitive dissonance. It creates two conflicting beliefs where you question yourself and wonder if it's you. If maybe you said something wrong or made them angry but while they're playing the nice character again they're going to be looking for ways to discredit you to make it seem like you're not a good person or that your views and opinions aren't going to be trusted. They've been studying you for a long time. They know how to get to you. They've made mental notes of every fault and mistake that you have made of anything that you've confided in them because they knew that one day they were going to use it as ammunition against you. They knew that they were going to use it to tear you down when you finally figure them out. They will push and provoke you until you finally react to them. They get a kick out of watching you suffer and it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel like they're not the problem but as soon as you react they're able to calm down and point the finger at you and they will ignore any of your feelings or anything that happened up until that point. If you question or confront them on it they're only going to deny it. They will gas like you and tell you they never said what they said. They never did what they did. This is designed to create further confusion and really make you think like you're losing your mind so that the narcissist is able to gain further control over you. They will try to take things away from you whether it's your money or children. Because they just want to hurt you. When the narcissist experiences narcissist rage they will say and do whatever they think will hurt you the most. And they are doing this because they feel exposed because they know that you know who they are. When the narcissist knows that you know they're going to rage at you because they believe that they can get away with it. They believe that you're going to tolerate it and as long as you remain in their presence you are tolerating it. You're saying that it's okay for them to talk to you in that way. You need to teach them how to treat you by not tolerating their behavior. When the narcissist is experiencing narcissist rage you need to walk away. You need to show them that you're not going to tolerate that behavior. They may play the victim and act like you've abandoned them. Whatever you do they're not going to reflect on their behavior or understand that what they did was wrong but they will think twice the next time they do that now that you've made them realize that there are consequences to their actions now that they know that you're not going to tolerate it now that they know that you're going to leave if they disrespect you when you leave they will hoover you they will try to get you back they will go from being the most evil, despicable person you could ever imagine to being this kind, caring character who only wants the best for everyone they will try to make you feel guilty they will provoke fear within you whatever it takes to get you back but you need to enforce strong boundaries you need to hold them accountable and once you stop letting them talk to you however they like once you stop letting them disrespect you they will be forced to find another source of supply they will be forced to find someone else who will listen to their endless rants someone else to use as their emotional punching bag because the narcissist needs supply they need validation and once you figure them out you're no longer a good source of supply for them so the only option is to find someone else because they don't want to deal with the truth they don't want to deal with reality but while it may seem like they're discarding you they're actually just discarding themselves and that is why they don't stick around when you know who they really are once you put the mirror in front of a narcissist you may never see them again they won't want anything to do with you because they don't want anything to do with themselves thank you for watching I hope this video ends with you please like, comment, share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvival.uk where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join a support forum if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching.narcsurvival.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon