 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. Tonight present each week at this time Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. Here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Now before Gildy starts on his rollicking new adventures, I'd like to take just a moment to tell you about a grand adventure in eating. Of course, we're all backing the government's ration program, but now and then we'd all like a little more flavor and variety. Well, let's take bread rolls and muffins, for example. They're still just as plentiful, still just as downright good eating as ever, and a whole lot better for you made with vitamin-rich flour. But, well, Shucks, who wants to eat them dry. So here's how we get to that adventure in mighty good eating. For delicious flavor, spread parquet margarine on bread rolls and muffins and see how really good they taste. You won't know how delicious until you've actually tried parquet. What's more, parquet margarine is one of the best energy foods you can serve. Every pound contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Yes, parquet is wonderfully good to eat and good for you. So ask your goaster tomorrow for parquet P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. Gildersleeve. Well, the last we saw of him back in June, he was left at the altar by the widow Ransom. Two months have passed, but the mark of that fateful moment is still upon him. Gildersleeve today is a changed man. For the past week, he's been vacationing at the Islewild Hotel on the shore of picturesque Grass Lake, where he's come to seek forgetfulness and such solitude as he can find in the company of his niece and nephew. It's the breakfast hour now, and Gildersleeve steps out on the veranda for a breath of morning air before advancing upon the dining room. A sea air. There's nothing like it. It's Mr. Gildersleeve. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hi, Solitude. Good morning, ladies. Ms. Faults, Ms. Sourbee, Mrs. Good morning. Oh, you're up early this morning, Mr. Gildersleeve. Yeah, a mistake. Well, you know the old saying, early to bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Mr. Gildersleeve, you're the first healthy man I've seen in weeks. Oh, thank you. Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm just going to be frightfully bold and ask you if you won't share my table with me at breakfast this morning. Oh, I... Now, Ms. Faults, I saw him first. And where do I come in? Mr. Gildersleeve, as good as promised me. Now, ladies, please. Well, I think Mr. Gildersleeve should take us all into breakfast. It's the only way. That's it. We'll all go. Well, I'd be delighted, ladies, but it just so happens. Now, Mr. Gildersleeve, you have nothing to say about it. This is why you know. Ladies, I can imagine nothing more delightful. Oh, listen to him. Unfortunately, I just remembered that I forgot something. My niece and nephew. It hardly do to forget them now, would it? So, if you'll excuse me. Oh. I'll be seeing you anon. But you would be bad. Anon, Ms. Faults, anon. Uh, women, women, nothing but women. I came up here to forget women. What do I find? Ms. Faults. Oh, Mr. Gildersleeve. Ms. Sourbee. I got to get out of here. How do you get your clothes on? I was just going for a swim. You've just been for a swim. I was going for another. You've gone for your last. Get out of those wet trunks and start dressing. And stop dripping all over the floor. What's up? We going somewhere? We're leaving. Leaving? You heard me get dressed. You mean today? Today we're leaving? Today, this morning, right now, right after breakfast. I already had breakfast. You don't mind if I have a bite? No. Gosh, leaving. I better have breakfast sent in. I'm not going out there with all those harpies. Hand me the telephone. But Anon, what about the swimming race tomorrow? It's too bad about the swimming race. Hand me the telephone. Hello? Gosh, after I trained a whole week for it. Hello? I don't want to stand a good chance to knock off the junior medal. Hello? Marge is going to be awful disappointed. She was counting on that dance tomorrow night. What is this? Tomorrow is the big day, you know. Swimming race, canoe tilting, free food. Hello? Dance in the evening, swimming race. Marge will be disappointed. Room service. Hello, operator. She's going to be awful disappointed, Marge is. Operator, anybody? Hello? I give up. Call us a hotel. Come in. What about that dancer not going through Saturday night? What are you talking about? I'm talking about we're leaving. That's what aren't we, uncle? Oh, Uncle Mord. Not now. I'm sorry, my dear, but I can't stand another day of this. I can't go anywhere. I can't even stick my nose out of this room. But what I'm surrounded by old hens. Mids-Folks, Miss Sourbee, Mrs. Hooses. Well, you can't blame them, Uncle Mord, if you're so attractive. Well... You are, you know. You're the most attractive man in the hotel. I'm the only man in the hotel. And who said this was a hotel? You ring the bell, no bell hop. You pick up the telephone, no operator. Turn on the water, no water. Whatever did we come up here for, anyway? To find Marge a fella. Oh, shut up. What are you kicking about, you found one? Listen, Mr. Nosy, if you would just kindly be so good as to kindly mind your own business instead of snooping all night. Who was snooping around? I missed the ball and it happened to roll behind the swing. Now, kids. What were you doing playing ball? You were supposed to be working on your arithmetic. You haven't done any also, aren't you? No, Leroy. I've got both of you. God, you've done nothing but wrangle you two from the day we got here. I'm sick of it. We're getting out of here on the first train. Oh, oh, oh. I want some more, please. No, it's settled. The first train. Nosy, what you did? Hold it. Leroy, get some clothes on. Marge, where you start packing? Where are you going, huh? Never mind. You must know I'm going down to the lake where I hope to have a few quiet moments to myself and, if possible, recover some of my sanity. Like having bloodhounds after you. I'll sit here and cool off a little and look at the water. I must go down to the sea again for the lonely sea and the sky. Hoo, grass lake. Oh, well. Well, what did hoo, huh? Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize there was anyone here. Neither did I. I'm awfully sorry. I thought this seemed such a lovely quiet spot to sit and look at the lake. Yes, and you can, uh, why don't you take this bench? Oh, I couldn't. You were here first. Well, I'll sit on this log. Oh, but you're beautiful white flannels. Huh? Oh, I've had them a long time. Well, I'm sure there's room for both of us on the bench. Oh. There, you see? Now I haven't disturbed you at all. No. There's a lovely light on the lake at this time of the morning, isn't there? Yes, there is. Would you say it was eerie? What, lake eerie? Oh, no, the light. It's a strange eerie light. Oh, yes, very eerie. It's so seldom one meets a person nowadays who really loves nature, but you do, don't you? I guess so. Uh, you staying here at the hotel? Yes, I just arrived this morning. Are you? Oh, yeah. But I'm going home this afternoon. Oh, just as we're starting to get acquainted. Yeah. And I've been water commissioner of Summerfield. That's the story of my career. I guess it's not much of a story. Oh, it's a fascinating story. You've had to fight, haven't you? I knew at the moment I saw you. Well, I've had my struggles, but what man hasn't? Of course. You know, I really think it's a shame you're leaving today. Well, it's not absolutely definite. Oh, good. Um, would you mind if I asked you something terribly personal? No, go ahead. What is it? Well, I don't like to intrude into your... I don't know how to say it even, but I had the feeling while you were telling me about yourself that you were leaving something out, something that had made you terribly sad. Oh, no, you're mistaken. Well, tell me honestly, have you had an unhappy love affair? No. I knew it. Some woman has hurt you. I'm sure because you're so kind and gentle, you must have been wounded deeply once yourself. Well, I... Oh, how you must hate us women, all of us. Well, naturally I try to be fair, but... I'm afraid I'll never again be able to think of a woman as a friend. Well, you must try. Perhaps if you could tell someone about it, someone sympathetic, it might help. It often does help, you know. It's very painful. Well, if it would hurt you too much... Oh, no, no, no. Then try. Well... When I first met Leela Ransom... When I first met her, what struck me about her was her helplessness. Just a young girl, I suppose. Well, she was more of a widow. At least I understood she was a widow. And she seemed to need someone, someone to shield her from the world. Well, that's what she led me to believe. She tricked you. I'm sure of it now. However, I lost my heart to Leela Ransom. I loved her deeply, sincerely. I asked her to marry me, and she consented. But the marriage? We were never married. Oh. I stood beside her at the altar, the happiest man in the world, asking only that I be allowed to devote the rest of my life to her. Suddenly, her husband walked in. He was no deader than me. Oh, how dreadful! Yes, you can see why I'm through with women, can't you? Oh, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, honestly. But I do feel there's hope, because, well, I was hurt once too, terribly. Oh, you were? Yes. I once thought I could never bear to speak to a man again. Well, that's quite a coincidence. Did he leave you at the altar? Well, it wasn't quite like that. I'll tell you about it sometime. Oh, tell me now. No, I'd rather not. But you're very kind to be so interested. You've done a great deal for me. Oh, no, you've done a great deal for me. Would you like to walk down this path to the lake for a little way? Oh, I'd love to. It looks so nice and shady. Yes, it is shady. You're sure that you won't be nervous walking in the woods with a stranger? Do you think I should be? Let's go. Oh, it's quite steep. Steep, yes. Oh! Oh, what's the matter? Oh, my ankle, I'm afraid I've turned it rather badly. Oh, here, lean on me. Oh, thank you. Oh, you seem so... so solid. You think so? Oh, so safe. I'm sure you won't let me go. Don't worry. Oh. Well, we're peaceful for you. Frederick. You better come down to the lake. Jack and Tom are throwing rocks at each other. Well, make them stop. I can. And what's... Madam, I can see you are not left at the altar. Excuse me, I gotta go and catch a train. Operator? No, I do not wish of average. I want my bill. I want to check out. Room 618 and 619. Yes, we'll see that he hurries. Tougher to get out of this hotel than to get into a good one. Well, I guess I've got everything in the bag. If I can only close it. Oh, Anki, before you close it, could you just tell him one little thing for me? I suppose so. What is it? Just that little Cupid doll I won in the hotel raffle. But, mind you, that Cupid doll is almost as big as Leroy. I haven't got room for that. But your suitcase is bigger than mine. It's not that big. If you want the Cupid, carry it in your arms. You'll be lucky if they don't make you buy him a ticket. Oh, gosh, I wish I hadn't won it now. Well, leave it. Let somebody else win it. Where's that man with the bill? Operator, this is 618. If that man isn't here with my bill in one minute, I'm going to sneak out and leave my baggy. That's telling a monk. Yeah, let's close this thing, Leroy. I'm afraid those hinges are going to... There. Thank goodness. Say, I just remembered something. What? Something you forgot. What is it? Well, I wasn't. Anyway, never throw a wet bathing suit at anybody. Where am I going to put this darn thing? Mr. Gildesleeve? Oh, yes. You the bill clerk? Oh, no, sir. I'm the assistant manager. Oh, excuse me. That's all right. The clerk told me you'd asked for a statement. We can't let you check out, Mr. Gildesleeve. We're counting on you to be master of ceremonies at the ladies' artery contest this afternoon. Give me my bill. But, Mr. Gildesleeve, the ladies will be so disappointed. I can't help it. Why don't the ladies leave me alone? Well, there's a war on, you know. That has nothing to do with it. Get my bill ready and send somebody up here for my bags. All right, if you insist. Now, what was I doing? Thinking about your wet bathing suit. That could be dry by tomorrow. I wouldn't miss the swimming race. Never mind. Better wrap it up in a couple of dirty shirts. Makes an awful lump, though. Come in! Hooker! Hello, Judge! Hi, Judge! What are you doing here, you old goat? Well, if that isn't foolish question number 999. I came to spend the weekend with you. I'm sorry, but you're too late, Judge. I can't stand another day in this place. Oh, now, Guilty, I've come all the way up here to see you. How about 18 holds of golf right now? Golf. That's what I came up here for. And this afternoon, we could go fishing on the lake. Maybe get a couple of smallmouth bass for supper. Oh, smallmouth bass, fried in breadcrumbs with a little lemon juice. We've had chicken here every night this week. Oh, come on, Guilty. Tomorrow we can hire some horses and go for a ride along the mountain trail. By George Horace, I'll stay over with you. Oh, Uncle Moit, you darling! Judge, you're a hero! Well, everybody happy. Operator, this is 618. No, I've already checked out. I want to come back. Yes, till Sunday morning. I don't care who wants the room, I've got it and I'm going to keep it. All right, go on, Leeroy. Go on, Marjorie, with your swimming race, line up your date for the dance. All right, see you later, Mom. Dog gone at Horace, I'm glad you came. I've been trying to find a golf game somebody to fish with ever since I got here. You have, Guilty? Well, you must be slipping. There's plenty of golfers right here under your nose. Well, I couldn't find them. Well, I signed up a couple for a foursome with us this morning, and they're going fishing with us this afternoon. Oh, that's great. Not only that, but tomorrow night they're going to the dance with us. Wait a minute, Hooker, who are these golfers? Two lalapaloozas, a Miss Folse and Miss Sowerby. Oh! Right down the sleeve, we'll be with us again in a few seconds. School days are just around the corner, and that's going to call for some new strategy from you generals of the kitchen. I mean, you mothers will have to think up tempting new ways to put nourishing foods into those school lunchboxes. So allow me to pass along a helpful suggestion. Here's how to get really important food value out of those precious few ration points. It's to buy and serve parquet margarine. But you know that parquet requires only four red ration points a pound, and every pound of parquet contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. In your government's official nutrition program, the daily use of such excellent foods as vitamin fortified margarine is recommended, as for appetizing flavor, well, parquet really satisfies. You'll find parquet just about tops as a delicious spread for bread. And you may be interested to know that parquet carries the seal of acceptance of the Council on Foods and Nutrition of the American Medical Association. So ask for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine made by Kraft. Now getting back to the great Gilder Sleeve and his little family, we find them surfeted with vacation joys glaring at each other and a judge hooker from opposite seats of the day coach. According to my calculations, we ought to reach summerfield about six o'clock. According to my calculations, we'll be lucky if you reach it at all on this milk train. Leroy, for goodness sake. Leroy, take your feet off your sister's lap. Well, I have to put them somewhere, don't I? Fine accommodations you got us, Horace, a day coach. I thought you were supposed to have some influence around here. I have. The assistant passenger agent is a personal friend of mine. You don't say. Yes, sir. We used to go to school together. I see him every now and then. Fred Kennecott is his name. Fred Kennecott. Oh, how is Fred Kennecott these days? Oh, he's fine. That's fine. I wonder if you'd give Fred Kennecott a message for me the next time you see it. Glad to, Gildy. Glad to. What's the message? Tell him his railroad is a public disgrace. Hmph. I'll very well to complain, Gildy, but let me remind you there's a war on. If anybody else reminds me there's a war on now, where do you think you're going, Leroy? To get a drink. Ouch! Get off the judge's bunions. I'm sorry, Judge. Now, sit down. Oh, gosh. Can't I even get a drink of water even? You've had a drink. You've had 50 drinks. You've done nothing but run from here to the water cooler ever since we get on this train. But, I'm dying. You heard your uncle sit down. You keep out of this, Judge. I'll handle it. If you were a boy of mine by golly, I know what I'd do with him. If I need any advice from you and the handling of children, Judge, I'll ask for it. Feel free to do so at any time. Thank you. You're welcome. A jolly little journey. Oh, Marjorie's right. We shouldn't be allowing ourselves to get on each other's nerves here. After all, this will all be over in an hour or two. Or three. By six o'clock, we'll all be home. Birdie will be there waiting for you with a fine, big dinner. Birdie. And I, you're talking, Judge. Good old Birdie. By George, after all, a stale chicken I've had to eat in the past week. I could plow into one of Birdie's dinners and really do a justice. So could I. I tell you, Judge, there's not a finer cook in the world than our Birdie. I won't argue with her there, Throckmorton. I still remember the last dinner I had at your house. Though it was some time ago. It was truly an experience, truly an experience. Though, as I say, it was some time ago. Horace, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to be my guest tonight at dinner. Now, let me see. Have I any other engagements? Sunday night? Do you have any engagements you all goat and you know it? Throckmorton, after consulting my calendar, I'm delighted to find myself in a position to accept your very welcome invitation. Is he kidding? Yes. Well, kids, we're going home. By George, I don't know why we ever left it. Going home, going home. Judge and Judge Hooker, well, my goodness, I sure am glad to see you. No, gladder than we are to see you, Birdie. That's right, Birdie. Yes, indeed. Yes, sir, I'm mighty glad to see you, Mr. Gilseed. Well, our train was a little late. I hope we haven't spoiled the supper. Spoiled it? Yes. Supper? Yes. Mr. Gilseed, there ain't no supper to spoil. Oh, yeah. I didn't expect you till tomorrow. But I don't understand, Birdie. You just said you were glad to see us. I am, Mr. Gilseed. You arrived in just a nick of time. I was just going to the weekly meeting of my victory lodge and I'm retroactive in my dues. Oh. Well, here's a little advance on your salary, Birdie. Thank you, sir. I'm sorry about supper, but there ain't a bite of food in this house. Well, now, if you'll all excuse me, I just... Wait a minute, Birdie. Don't I smell chocolate cake? Yes, by golly. So do I. Is there chocolate cake in the house, Birdie? Well, yes, there is. I baked it for the run-hit lot of town rally tonight at the lodge. The party that buys the war bonds with a certain number on it, he gets the cake as a bonus. Oh, oh, it's a raffle. Oh, no, sir. Buying a raffle ticket is illegal. But nobody's going to throw you in jail for buying a water bomb. Yes, yes. Maybe you're right. How about that, Judge? Well, without passing on the constitutional questions involved, I'd like to buy a chance on the cake. Well, y'all can have the cake for yourself if you want it. No, Birdie. You take the cake and chase Hitler out of town with it. He'll get along some way. Gee, I'm hungry. Isn't there anything in the icebox, Birdie? Not a thing, Leroy. I'm sorry. Well, never mind, Birdie. Good night. Good night, Mr. Guilty. Good night, everybody. Good night. Have a good time. Well, I guess I'll call up Piggy Banks and get invited to his house. You'll do nothing of the kind, young man. Haven't you any pride? Sure I have. I don't have to beg Piggy. Well, I don't like it. And no hinting now. Are you kidding? Hello, pig face. Oh, pardon me, Mrs. Banks. Is Piggy there? That was his mother. Oh, no. Stop her. Leroy. Roy. Marjorie. I'm ashamed of both of you. Oh, you're not really. Come on. Goodbye, Judd. Goodbye, Marjorie. Goodbye, Leroy. Come on. Why don't you be up late? The very idea. Oh, I don't think it's so bad, Guilty. You don't? Well, then how about inviting me to dinner? All right. May I have the pleasure of your company at Dinner Throckmorton? I shall be delighted, Horace. Of course, there's no food at my house, either. Oh. And the grill at the Summerfield Hotel is closed on Sundays. Where are you taking me, Judge? To Peabee's drugstore for a chicken sandwich. Come on. So does satisfactory, gentlemen? I guess they keep the breath of life in us for a while. I'm using a new strawberry flavoring now. It's synthetic. What do they make it out of? Plastics? Mr. Gillespie always has to have it, little Joe. Nice to see you back, Mr. Gillespie. How was the vacation? So-so, Peabee. So-so. I suppose it does a man good to get away once in a while. Yes, I've always heard it does. Though I haven't taken a vacation myself in 30 years. Neither has Mrs. Peabee. 30 years with one woman? That's a long time. Well, no, I wouldn't. Yes, I will, too. It's a long time. Last time I took a vacation by myself was back in the summer in 1913. Oh. That the summer you got engaged? No, no. We were engaged for five years before that. Of course, five years is a long time, too. But then I-I believe in long engagements. Oh, there's Mrs. Peabee. Long engagements, short engagements. As soon as a man lets a woman get a hold on him, his life is over. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. Speak for yourself, Gildy. That's just who I'm speaking for. Gentlemen, from now on, I'm a free agent. Marriage may be all right for some people, but not for yours truly. Because, frankly, I'm just not interested. Our friend here sounds a little bitter. There wouldn't be a touch of sour grapes in that now, would there, Gildy? None at all. You're referring to Leela Ransom? Forget her, because I have. Speaking of Mrs. Ransom... I haven't given her a thought from that day to this. Speaking of Mrs. Ransom... If she were to walk right in here now, it would mean nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. Well, I hear she may be coming back to Summerfield. No, sir, if I... Where'd you hear that? You read the paper, didn't you? I haven't seen a paper in a week. Well, then you didn't hear about her husband. Beauregard? What about him? As if I cared. Sad. Very sad. But I suppose we all have to go sooner or later. What do you mean? We're here today and gone tomorrow. Pee Dee, what are you talking about? It's something we all have to face. We can only hope that when the time comes, we'll be ready. Pee Dee, will you stop mumbling and tell me what happened? Yeah, for the love of Mike Pee Dee. It was in the paper yesterday. Beauregard Ransom passed on as a result of an accident one week ago today. Oh, that poor little girl. Now she's gonna need an understanding friend. Dear Diary, got back from my vacation today. Total expenses $110.18. We'll have to watch it a little during September. It was interesting to be here from Pee Dee today that LR may be returning to Somerfield. Well, I should happen to run into her on the street. I know exactly how I'll behave. I'll be polite naturally, but nothing more. She thinks she can take up with me just where we left off two months ago. She's sadly mistaken. I'll show her that I'm not to be tossed aside lightly like an old glove. Yeah, it'll be, how do you do Mrs. Ransom instead of, hello, Leela? Leela. Oh, Diary, am I gonna make a jackass of myself all over again? Ha ha ha. This is the direction of Todd Sweetman. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for The Craft Cheese Company. And inviting you to listen again next Sunday for the further adventures of The Great Builders League. Homemakers, I want to tell you about something. It's a point saver, a time saver, and a money saver all in one. It's craft dinner, the product that gives you swell macaroni and cheese in just seven minutes cooking time. A package of craft dinner serves four people at a cost of only a few cents of serving. And you get three packages. That's three separate family main dishes for only one single red ration point. Does all this sound too good to be true? Well, try craft dinner. See how the special craft dinner macaroni cooks fluffy tender just in boiling water. See how the craft grated lets you whisk cheese flavor through and through the macaroni in a jiffy. Then listen to the folks compliment you on that speedy, delicious macaroni and cheese. If you like, you can mold your hot craft dinner into a ring or timbles and serve with cream vegetables, fish, chicken, or what have you. Try it soon. Spend one single red ration point for three packages of craft dinner. This program has reached you from Hollywood. This is the...