 All right, a very good morning. Welcome back. This is still Why In The Morning, just in case you have no idea. This is the second, second last? No, this is the last part of this show. But before we do anything amazing, let's interact with that hashtag, which is Why In The Morning everywhere, including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. TikTok on the gram is Y2F4 underscore channel. Mine is at Brian Soko 101. And that's how you can interact. But don't talk about TikTok and we dance, I tell you. So you should be there. Follow us on TikTok as well. Y2F4 channel. And on this interesting segment, Happy Mother's Day, by the way, there's somebody who told me Happy Mother's Day should be for anybody who feels like a mother. Because, you know, there's those brothers who raised their younger siblings and there's those sisters who raised their younger siblings. Do we say now, do we specifically deliver a Happy Mother's Day to a brother or a Happy Father's Day to a brother? Like, I'm confused. But if you feel like you're a mom, but as Kote said, if you want to be, if you want to compete with women and show that you have a uterus, which is very interesting, by the way. But anyway, so we're from that. We have an interesting show coming up. And we have an interesting question. Before I get to into it, I really like to just read some of your comments. I'm gonna censor this one. So the question is, when I load Jesu, if I'm more comfortable with it, so, but I got it. I got it. I got it. Here's the question. Who cut your wife, now your mom? Who should be given the first priority? But most scenarios make you a time you're in a church, I'm a time you're cool, cool resolve issues, partly time your attention between a husband and a wife. And most instances, similar situations and you don't, I'm schizan, but then there's this day your mom, I'm a cook, I'm a visit, and then you guys have to go to church. I mean, you guys are going to see a pastor to resolve some of the house issues. So who sits in the front of the car? Because that's one of the most common in my pop-up. And let me just read. Feedback, one of the guys who texted me, I'm a respond to my status. I'm a some, let me censor it. I'm a some, I'm a some, your wife is not your family. Mama has to come first. I don't know about you, but I love to hear your feedback. Who should come first? And joining a Slavic studio are two powerful gentlemen, one of them has been here before. You will definitely get to remember him. Anajita Victor Dubey, he's a media student. And then we have Eric, Eric Kaye, the son, I believe. Atanyambia Kamasiya pronounced Vizuri, but he's a gospel artist. Good morning. Good morning once again. First time, good morning, welcome. Thank you, thank you. So I just want to know, Victor, who should be given first priority? Cozum Sena Semah, that your wife is not your family. Mama should come first. Okay, according to me, I think, well, your mom has had all the priorities that she needs to have before you have your wife, or maybe after having your wife, you should know that there's someone that's bringing you babies and kids. And after that, the first person you respond to before you get to your mom is your wife. Mostly in instances where you are in a family, maybe separate from your mom, you're living in town. Mostly you interact with your wife, you talk to her, you sort out issues before communicating to mom. There are situations where you find out that you spend at least two or three days before talking to your mom. But your wife is someone you talk to daily. So it's so inevitable to avoid talking to your wife or giving priorities to your wife and taking them to your mom. So it's something that is least avoidable unless you are someone who is close to your mom and has issues with the wife. Right, yeah. But in that instance, you may come up a lot that you guys are going to church. And then there's a, come on, you've been blessed with a car. So who sits at the front seat and who sits at the back seat? Because I'm looking at it from a point here. Yes, your mom is sick, probably. But then maybe that day you guys have had issues and then I'm bongi, bonga points. I'm bongi, wabongi, I'm bongi, na waif. And then I'm a fura, I'm a pio me fura. And then ego plus kufura is my mix of emotions. And then it's like your mom doesn't know what's going on. But then your wife and your mother don't know what's going on. So here are the movements too. Hasemi chuchote, anakuja, anaka anyuma. Your mother and a camellia. At this point, what could definitely happen? Is konam tu atas lap mongina by the time you figure out your destination? Yeah, I think that anger is being triggered by having conversations that maybe are like making you guys have a fight. So when you choose, your wife chooses to sit at the back seat and your mother sits in front, you'll have that conversation with your mom that will carry away the anger that you have and you feel like you're OK. But you see when you sit with your wife, maybe she says something and you continue feeling like it's a bad thing. Then you remember the fights that you have and whatever. You might end up talking badly. And mark you maybe you're having kids in the car and you were trying to hide the fight you had. But then when you start talking badly and throwing words at each other, the kids might see that maybe you guys are having a fight. So it's better when you at least have that space before sorting your things out. So let mom sit in front and the wife sit behind. Are you at a skeleton mood? Yes, Ron. I think that when you're with your wife, if you're with her, you're not with her. Maybe my mother doesn't have a soul. She doesn't have a coffee. If she doesn't have a coffee, the wife will decide. So you make a decision and it's easy. If you make a decision, it's easy. You make a decision and it's easy. So you keep on talking to your mom. See you later, some form of jealousy. You say, I'm a mass boy. I pay a lot of attention to my mom. She knows me and yet you guys have kids. So it's easy and easy for her. It's easy and easy for her. Yes. Yes, because when you're with your wife, there's no need to be jealous. Because when you're with your wife, you have to respond to her. Yes. She's a good girl. She's a good mother to you. For example, I have a wife. Imagine a scenario. You have a movie. You have a partner with a woman. You have a wife. You guys are going and you have a wife. You have a wife. But you have to contribute to your mom. It's easy for her. Side things. Yes. So she's a good mother to you. Yes. She's a nice girl. She's a good woman. Yes. So she has a partner. She's a good mother to you. You have to be nice to her. Yes. She's as nice as you are. You have to be a good girl and to be a woman. Yes. So she's a good, she's a good wife. Yes. But then, how do you balance attention? Because, you know, I believe in a marriage, in a marriage setup, it needs a lot of wisdom and maturity. For example, still the same instance, your mother-in-law. But as I said, as I said, it's like your wife. It's like your wife, mother-in-law. Do you divert the attention from the mother-in-law, or the wife, to now your mother-in-law, as the husband now? Because to me, to your example here, your wife is not talking to you, and your mother-in-law is not talking to you. So, if you're going to be like your mother, but you're not talking to her, how do you create a safer space there? Because that's a toxic one, I can only imagine. Eh? But you can't say, the more you talk, the more you create ill-attention. You know? So, the best thing to do, is to have a mother-in-law. Okay. Victor, what's your scenario with your mother-in-law? So, in a situation where the mother-in-law is there, and in the wife's side, probability is that she'll side with the daughter. Okay, I'm not saying it's always like that, but it can happen. So, in that scenario, you can choose to just make a friendly environment. The moment you start saying anything, like the way they say to the people arrested, anything you say will be used against you. So, make sure you have the correct choice of words, and if possible, like he said before, ensure that you talk to the kid, and maybe make him or her feel like the environment is okay, because that's the most important person at that point. Do not make him or her feel that you guys are in a fracas. So, maybe making stories to the kid, and maybe telling him or her that, you know, after church, maybe, you know, you'll go out with mom and dad to buy some things. I mean, in one way or the other, even the wife will feel that, in as much as we're having a problem, I mean, he's trying to make the environment feel okay for the kid and maybe for everyone else who is there. And maybe for the mother-in-law, I might tend to think that if you guys are okay, like you guys didn't have any problem, it's just you and the wife, you guys should not have any boundaries in talking. Okay, yeah. That's it. It sounds easy. So, it's easier said than done. But then, took a reverse box as a, for example, initially, you guys, you know, when you're going to a zile fight, it's like, you know, fight Friday, everybody and asleep in a different room, and then maybe Saturday, midnight, you know, around the end of Sunday. But then, it just so happens that, you know, it's the day also your mom is coming. When you're not going to be a mom, what you'll appear to be a father-in-law? And then it comes that, you know, you have a good relationship with your dad, but then, wife and a good relationship now. So it's a coincidence, and it'll happen. But then, it also turns out now, when your father comes, atataka koongena, your wife more. But then, it also happens that you guys are not talking. So, it's a vacuum, and I'll poke at you guys, you know. Yeah. Okay, I think for a person who knows the value of a family, both sides, a husband and a wife, someone should be able to talk to the father-in-law, maybe the wife should be able to talk to the father-in-law, and you as well talk to your dad, because, like, after all the rangles, you know that you guys are going to be okay, and you have that hope that after all the fights, obviously you are going to make up for whatever you did to the other person. So, it should not bring problems all the way up. The hierarchy of your problems should not go all the way to the family. Just make sure that at that moment where your dad is there, like, the wife talks to him in a better way, like, that doesn't show anything happened. And after all, you guys will sit down as big people, you're married, and sort out your issues, and maybe if you feel like there's something you guys couldn't talk about that may bring up the things that you thought about, just try to avoid using languages or words or sentences that drives someone's mind back to the fights that you had. Because I'm believing that these are people who have a family, maybe you have a kid already. So, it's a problem you've been going through and you've been solving. It shouldn't be a big issue, and maybe make things even get worse by the parents getting to know, maybe even involving the parents in the problems that they have nothing to do with. Now, I'm also looking at it, like, how do you make it safer for her? Or even, so to speak, vice versa, in that, how do you feel the kind of mother-in-law who is your dad, or your mom? In terms of, yeah, yeah, it was as rough as a couple, but we were a couple, anyways. Because most of the times, they were more like a quack, or anyway, quend. It near your parents, and they are always available, quaw, nazima, or travel or kudze. But then you guys are here on the table and you're airing out issues now to your dad or to your mom. How do you talk, in a sense that, how do you feel when a man is attacked? On the other hand, when you're with a woman, and then you say, hey, who are you talking to? Your father. But hey, I'm talking to you, I'm talking to your dad, you know, to your mom. How do you talk, in a sense that you're in favor, as you feel attacked? Okay, first of all, when you're airing out an issue or maybe telling your parents about your parent, if it's one, or parents, if they're all of them, about the issues that you guys have been having, you could just have your parent and your dad that this and this and this has happened, and this is what my view was on what happened. So maybe I could call my wife so that she could also share her views as well for you maybe to determine and advise us. I should not put yourself as the person who's done the right thing and the wife has done the wrong thing. Or vice versa. Maybe you're my superior, so it's wrong. Thank you. Okay, yeah, the thing is for you, here we are trying to make her feel that your dad is not side learning with you. So the best thing is play neutral and make your dad or the parent solve the issue himself. Don't make yourself the judge before the parent judge. So just try to be neutral and let him give the verdict according to how he sees both sides. Right. Anyways, me, I've been in one, by the way, breaking news, breaking news, but so, for instance, bro, you know, second to me, I can't tell you, but hey, I don't know if it's a scary story. I don't know, like I can't jump. It's a bit of a past tense word there. I don't know if it's going to happen or if it's going to happen, it's not still how it happened. How do you make it easy at the tempest as a cool down? I had a friend of mine who was like, they used to break up weekly on a break up Friday or to Rudiana mid-week, Thursday, next week. Do you create such a curve like each time Nakasirikiana, we are nearer? When I go to mom or do you throw a poem on dad and then at a Rudi birthday? As in, how can we just create a consistent curve for a relationship here? So, welcome on a home, you like it on a far, on a far good job, obviously, I don't know what I'm saying. So, okay, but I'll give you a, every Friday, last month, I'm consistent. Eh? I'm consistent, yeah. Eh? I've been in a matter which I'm not consistent, you know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. I'm not consistent, eh? I'm, maybe, you are, we're in the deep. But I think, we're in the deep, you know, the numbers are very high. So, we're not consistent, we're consistent, eh? I'm not consistent, I'm just trying to create some specific acts that I'm not consistent with what I'm doing on a relationship. I'm trying to create, I'm trying to create a relationship, How many weekends do you have? I have seven weekends. Some of them are on weekends. For example, I have two weekends. One is on weekends. Some of them are on weekends. Some of them are on weekends. Some of them are on weekends. Some of them are on weekends. Some of them are on weekends. Some of them are on the weekends. Do you do this on a Friday? I do this on a Friday. Some of you might have been born in Friday, some of you might have been born in Latria, some of you might have been born in Moulisa, some of you might have been born in Jamia, some of you might have been born in Aungaia, you switch talk, bro. You switch talk. Darling, you know, my queen, the empress of the kingdom. When I was born, when I was a child, I used to cook. You used to cook? Yes, I used to cook. When I was a child, I used to cook. Yes, I used to cook. I used to cook. I used to push. So, I used to cook when I was young. I used to cook, I used to fill. I used to cook when I was three. I used to cook. I used to cook when I was 11. But the problem is, you guys are sleeping in the same bed, and you're not talking. So, you guys are living in a five-bedroom condo in Kila Lesho. You guys are living in not one bedroom for now. Let's use that example. And you guys have two. What a bad life. Same here. We don't live in one bedroom. We live in Kila Lesho. We don't live in one bedroom. So, when we live in one bedroom, we don't sleep in the same bed. We don't sleep in the same bed. So, let's see. We don't sleep in one bedroom. We don't sleep in one bedroom. Okay. For instance, you're working. You're the king, you're the emperor, the conqueror, the lion. You're everything. So, you're getting some good money. Yes, you're working. You're being paid some good money. But then, the first time you get paid, the first person you send money to, who should it be the first? Should it be your wife, your father, your mother, your kids? As in, how do you prioritize attention? Because at this point in New York, it's about you and what you're giving. But then, if you're to imagine a scenario where the wife is also working, but she still needs, you know, that support. But then, Kunazile families, like, you know, a wife has a bigger job than their husband and so the, but that one is a difficult marriage. Nani, see, according to me, that's according to Keebe. Keebe says, prepare to marry someone else who has a lower pay. I don't know if it works, but you can tell me on that hashtag, why in the morning. How do you balance attention here to marry sources between kids, family, your dad and your mom? Or even her parents as well. Who receives money first and then you also come and get it? Your wife. Your wife receives money first. Yeah. Because you know, there are people like you. Yeah. Some of them are family. So your wife comes first. Then the rest, the rest of the family, the family, the rest. Your parents, but they are not married. Yeah. They are not married, they are not married. So if they are not married, they are not married. Okay. And some of them, they are not married, then they are not married, then they are not married. So you have to have a married life. Or make peace in your territory before. Before, yeah. But there is history with your mom, but let's try later. Yes, yes, Victor. Okay, so I think these things are way, okay, I would balance that because according to the depth of the problem that you're having here. For example, I would say these are all my family, my child is my family, my wife is my family, my mom, dad, they are all my family. I don't know about the guy, but I think the moment you and your wife have a kid, definitely you become a family because you are joined together and born by the kid. So when it's a problem of the school fee, then definitely you will have to first pay the fee before doing the other things because within your mind you will go give your wife money to go to a vacation while your child is staying at home for the fee. Or even your nanny's sake or your mom's, for example, like I said, you're a breadwinner, when do you want to put the biggest salary? In those times too, now I think I see it as a shield and I start to honor, I don't have to pay the money, I don't have to pay the priorities, I don't have to consider the other person. But as well, maybe your wife is having a problem and then the others are not having that really big problem, you might consider her. But then it's not like you forget your family, it's just that she's the first priority. But then again, it depends like maybe, what would you give your wife money if she earns? Maybe just do her surprises, do her some sort of a party, but then that point of giving her money when she earns money, I would say it's spoiling her because she's your wife bro, so you're spoiling her because she's your wife. Okay, yeah, in in forms of gifts and surprises and parties it's okay, but still it's spoiling. Cash money, it will make her maybe at some point when you actually don't have the money, she'll feel like maybe you're pulling off or you're not like trying to do the things that you used to do Kitambo, but when you give her the surprises once in a while, it's like maybe she'd feel like it's just appreciation and not like a transactional relationship. Yeah, able to reverse your situation, then your wife is getting some good money, driving a good car, I keep at a person's eye, who's the first priority? Is it you, her mom, her kids, the kids, because kids know anyone, or her friends, because you know there's ladies who spoil their friends a lot, maybe like I'm taking my girl, my girl out, you know, there's a situation where how not job. What I believe is when women love, according to the experience that I have, when women love, they'd do anything for you. So it's just a matter of how true are they to loving you. I'm very sure if your wife loves you, she'll make sure that in as much as you're not earning, you're not having that enough money, she'll cover up for any other thing because we have seen situations where these marriage ceremonies, the traditional ones, you find that a guy is not earning much and the wife is already in the job business, and you find out that the wife actually goes ahead, buys cows and takes to her home, just to cover up for the husband. But then what happens to your ego as a man? Yeah, as in how you feel. For me, there's usually a certain guilt that I suffer, especially Nicky's idea or son, I'm like, wow, Nisha is a victim because I'm not used to actually, it makes me feel guilty all the time. I feel like I owe you all the time. Okay, being part doesn't make you like become low or something. Just make sure that... That's the point I'm bringing in, like you as a man should just sit down and wait for your wife now to do everything for you. When she does one thing, make sure that you show efforts to do other things and make sure that you come at the same level or even go higher. Don't make your wife feel bad. How long will it take you to rise up to the occasion? For example, you're just broke, you are broke, like dad broke, but then you're married, a good example here, you're marrying into this family and they have money. They have money, call Pesacy Sheda in that saying. So whatever and I teach her to do that. But well, it might take even five years to build that capacity and here you are, you're marrying her. So how is he going to be anything? First of all, like as a guy, make sure that the person you're marrying is someone you can feel safe around. There's no sense of marrying someone that is way above you, then they'll have to like control you or make you feel that you are low. As a guy, make sure that you marry someone that resonates with you in as much as maybe they're a little bit higher, but they can, okay, you can make it up to where they are or even higher, not in a battling way, but just to make sure that you maintain your stature as a man and make sure that the world doesn't see you as someone who's low, someone who doesn't do anything like for the family. And their wives who are also okay when you're down there still growing up, they cover up for you and as I say, do everything for the family school fees, just at that moment when you're low, but don't make it low for long. Before I get back to you, I'm going to tell you a story of Hakeem Yapo and Alisa Pesazaki in the name of the mum. And then this story came out there and people are like, you know, why did she just give some, why did she just give a lot of attention to the mum and not the wife? But then it turned out that the wife was also wealthy, but then they, so you call a kosher, so you find out that they had kids in between. And then there are so many discussions around it and what can they do? You say, oh, if you're richer, who should your wealth be written? Who should be the name of the first person on the list of your will? Just in case when you're a child and your wife, who's a nanny and a finder and a marlin, then you're going to say mum, mum, mum, mum, dad, dad, dad. But then how do you balance this situation to a point? Yes or no? You're creating a safer environment. But she's also entitled to some two, three things that you on just in case you guys were legally married. But then when you're in Kenya, you say, oh, okay, on and then you're more a child, you're 50, 50 and you're late on the table. So come out and let her church out. I'll let you too, he'll call a baby girl and I'll let you on the table. And then people can say my baby girl's single, I've spent 10 years with you and now you're living me without nothing, then you'll have to give me by force. So well, the baby girl say you spent 10 years with me. When I was spending 10 years with you, what were you doing? She was being your wife. You see, you see, I tend to think that ladies should wake up and they used to say like the guy is the provider, then the wife is just there to help him protect what he's made. But at this point in life, ladies should wake up and know that they have to work as well to make both ends meet. So when you're a woman, you're coming to a guy, then you guys have stayed for 10 years, you are just there being a wife, then you really have hard work. Like you should make sure that at least you work towards something and ensure that even if this guy leaves me at this point, I can depend on myself as a lady. Instead of being there, being the best housewife, then people are people. Like you'd find this guy maybe feeling that you're just a housewife, then he goes ahead and starts dating another girl and you know how these things go round and round and then maybe Mkosane, then you guys are having a divorce, then you realize actually maybe because of the trust that he didn't have in you. So some of these things, like the Hakimi situation, you could find it's trust, maybe the guys saw the red flags, this woman is not worth putting the name in the wheel or something. So the situation of Hakimi is just about trust. It's not more of like a CG mom is more important than the wife. It's just maybe he loves the wife, but he doesn't trust the wife with the wealth. Hey, I'm stuck. Yes. She's spending your money because you're the husband, you're the provider. But for instance, maybe to pick you up and I've had real life experiences that are like a friend, but then the danger comes in and then so you're being paid to just be a housewife, sitting in the house, cook, buy anything you want, but then how many cars, what happens in such an instance here? Because we say the devil entered me, you know, and then and then she's for 15 years, so you attend our Psi, attend our Pio time. Hey, maybe, maybe say, you know, things can get so bad, two points at the corner, it's okay to take your own details. It's possible, especially in this region. Arab families, as well as like Saudi Arabia and the rest, they're paid to just live and be a wife. So a handoff of a nine to five, so because you can do house chores and take care of the family and then it happens. Relationship. I would provide anything you want. So, So the best thing to do, name it as you want to do. What? Later. Later. Later. Now, for instance, you're going to have to do a marathon. Some people say they're going to do a marathon. What will you do now? So, if you have any tension, you can ask my friends. To a point where you want to feel, hey, I'm going to concentrate on my boys. You also have female friends, but yes, you have a wife. But then she comes. You often feel some type of, hey, attention is too much. I see women. I see women. But then they say, hey, you're going to do a marathon. You're going to do a marathon. You're going to do a marathon. You're going to do a marathon. Like, how do you create a warm, a warm environment around that? I'm convinced that you're in the classmate. No matter what you try to imagine, we have never done it. Because usually, I suspect you guys used to do things. You know, you're going to have such stuff in between. But then you're convinced that you're going to be convinced. So I think for this situation, girls do really bond faster than when they have conversations, when they talk. So the first thing that you should do is make sure that your wife and your friends, I'm talking about the female friends, and your friends are like that close. Was it close or not close? I think that's dangerous. As for me, I think if your wife really loves you, when they become closer, maybe it lowers the expectations of her thinking that maybe you guys do something. Because when they talk, I'm very sure girls like sharing things. So your friend maybe will share with her things. It may be Akuja-san. Now you had that thing, and you're still friends and you're married. What's that to you? I think that's dangerous. But still your friends, they're always in kick-off. Yes, we used to date, but you know my wife is Akuja. You have less and approachable personality. So you still keep friends from you. Like me, I'm still friends with Watunil. So I'm a now-class one. In fact, I'm married now, so you guys rest in peace. They'll still pop up. But then my wife will still say something. My friends are there, but when you're having friends, also make sure you have that space for your wife. Like Akwetuna time, don't mix up the time you're having with your friends and extend it to the time you're having with your wife. Because these are special persons to you in a different way. I know your friends are special, but they should have their time. Now I'm here. My bro says he doesn't have a wife. We want to have our time, and they have to respect that. I think it's something you guys plan. You will have to tell your wife. If she's okay with that, there's no issue. Tena e kufil vibhaya when the guys or the girls actually come. So I think it's just a matter of having that conversation. And in marriage, different from the relationships, it's a way of relearning things and unlearning some of the things you've learned. Because you never know what exactly this girl will come up with the next day. And she doesn't know what will come up with the next day as well. And it's very hard to compare relationships and marriages as well because every person has different personalities. So it's just a way of knowing what works for you guys and what doesn't work for you guys. We can end it from there because we are out of time. Let me just sample three, four, five comments very fast before we exit. On that same question, first of all, what is your priority? And then I can add that it's a condition of being given attention before others. Now you know. Okay, we have done. Now the answer is, Anyways, thanks for that. Which other one relates to that? Wife, Wife, your first priority. I can share everything with my wife. I'm a Tarja Nelly Brown, who's the wife. Okay, happy Mother's Day. And Mom is going to Daddy. Let me stay there in her life. Okay. So you guys are mean. You guys are mean to your wives. And then I'm going to say, I'm watching from my own good. I'm going to pause the video and shout out to the end. Mama, then wife. Be like her. Be like your mama. She said, Mom and then wife. Okay. And then I can say, I'm wishing you a nice week. Call me Val. That is from Titom Kubua. Val you have a crush right there. I make up on a kissing emoji. Am I allowed to say that one? Ah, yes. It's a common one. Glory national. Good morning. First priority. My mom tuned in from Meru. Okay. Benito Masana said, Good morning. Kituiwa said, Zamutulu. Kalongoya, Pamoja Sana. Thank you. And then the last one from Manu by ICA. The comments are many. He says, I'll give my wife first priority. Because, Yeah. Good. I love it too. It should give your wife first priority. Continue sending the feedback. And we are done. We can't say another one.