 Craft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve! Yeah! We will also bring you Bing Crosby every Thursday night, present each week at this time, Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve, written by John Wheaton, here from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. You know these are the mornings when waffles or pancakes really hit the spot, and you need hearty food this crisp fall weather to start the day off right. While waffles and pancakes taste mighty good when you spread them with delicious parquet margarine before you pour the syrup on. You see, parquet margarine is the spread made by craft, and it has a delicate, appetizing flavor that's just about tops. Yes, parquet is entirely different from old-time margarines, and you can tell the difference the minute you taste it. Parquet is a wholesome, nourishing, vegetable margarine made to craft's high standard of quality. You'll find parquet margarine is grand for every use, as a spread for bread, a flavor shortening for baking, yes, and for pan-frying, too. But remember, parquet margarine is a fine energy food and a reliable source of vitamin A. So order a pound or two of economical parquet margarine tomorrow. Just ask your dealer for parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by craft. Now on to summer field and the Great Gilder Sleeve. There's a snap in the air these days and a touch of football. It's the kind of weather that makes a man want to be up and doing, and sure enough, at 10 o'clock in the morning, we find Gilder Sleeve arriving at his office ready for big things. Good morning, Miss Bitch. Good morning, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. How's business this morning? Just about as usual. There was a young man in to see you. Oh yes? Who was he? A Mr. Brinkerhoff. He had a letter of introduction. Here. Brinkerhoff? I don't know any Brinkerhoff, do I? That I couldn't say. Yes, yes. The only Brinkerhoff I ever knew was a fellow I went to college with. And there was a Brinkerhoff who traveled for some wholesale house, but he was killed in a bus crash. It wouldn't be him. I doubt it. Yes, yes. Of course, there's Brinkerhoff and Schultz, but I don't know anybody there, so I don't see who would be writing to me. I wonder who it could be. May I make a suggestion? What's that? Why don't you open the letter and find out? Excellent idea. You're a wonderful woman, Miss Bitch. I don't know how I'd get along without you. Sometimes I'm tempted to try. Oh, it's from Brink. Brink? You know Brink? No, I don't suppose you do. But you've heard of him. He was all-American in 1919. All-American walk. Halfback. He's the one who made the famous play against Navy. Oh, but maybe you don't remember. It was in the last quarter, about one minute ago, and we had the ball in our own ten yard line. Here, I'll show you. Bend over. I'll take your car. Bend over. Bend over. I'm Brink, and you're playing center for Navy. Oh, no, I'm not. Well, I'm just trying to show you. What's the matter with you? Anyway, that's the fellow. Imagine me getting a letter from him. You see, it's addressed to me personally. Dear Tubby. Dear Tubby. I used to be a little stout. Where do I show this to Hooker? I bet he never got a letter from an all-American. Oh, he says here, Tempest sure does fugit. I'd give my right arm to see you again, you old son of a gun. This is me he's writing to. He says, maybe you and me can get together at reunion sometime and have a good old chin fest. You and me. This man went to college. All-American. Scholarship. Then he goes on, and he says, well, enough of such bourgeois, bourgeois. This pistol will introduce my son, Larry, who had just graduated from the old Alma Mater and is now starting on his own out in your neck of the woods. Anything you can do to introduce him around and help him make contacts will certainly be appreciated. Well, I'll have to do that. I'll have to have him right out to the house right away. And look, look how he signs it. As ever, Brink. Good old Brink. What times we had together. Hi, George. I'll have the boy out tonight. I'll have him out to dinner and get my house on the phone, will you? Yes, sir. Any son of Brink's is a son of mine. Anybody home? I am. Hello, Leroy. Is that the paper? Can I have the funnies? Here. Where is everybody? I don't know. Birdie's out in the kitchen or someplace. Do you have to read it on the floor, Leroy? It's easier that way. Well, don't leave it there. Pick it up when you get through. I always do. Yes, you do. Where is your sister? What? I asked you a question. She's in the hands of Clarence. Marjorie, what are you talking about? It's not him. It's an old chap. Could you tear yourself away from that Japanese junk long enough to tell me where Marjorie is? I don't know. She went out somewhere to date. Date? How do you know? Of date or no date, she's going to have to postpone it. Marjorie? No, it's me, Mr. Gillsleeve. What have you been up to, Birdie? I just got back from marketing. It's a little late for marketing, isn't it? It was a little late when you called up about dinner. Oh, yes. Well, I'm sorry, Birdie. I couldn't get ahold of the man sooner. Did you get the pot roast? Mr. Gillsleeve, I've been all over. And there ain't no pot roast in the summer field. Oh, well, that's a shame. Brink was particularly fond of pot roast, as I remember. He was the greatest man for meat and potatoes I ever knew. The present company accepted. Huh? Oh, yes. Well, what did you get, Birdie? Well, they had some nice liver. Oh, liver and bacon is good with french-fried onions. Yeah, but you know how some people is about onions. How's that? They can't stand them, so I didn't get the liver. Oh, well, perhaps it's just as well. They had some leg of lamb instead. Oh, lamb is good. You have plenty of other things with it. Mint sauce or current jelly. Yeah, but you're livin' to run into lamb every day of the week, so I didn't get the lamb. Well, what did you get? Mr. Gillsleeve, you like guinea-hen. Ginea-hen? Oh, now you're talkin', Birdie, with nice stuffing and wild rice. And maybe some cream mushrooms on the side. Oh, wonderful. I love it. I'd know that I'd have bought the guinea-hen. What? You didn't get it? No, not knowing the gentleman you invited for dinner, I figured I'd better play safe. Well, what did you get? Well, I figured I'd better get something that didn't take too long to cook in case maybe he was a little late. Yeah, maybe that's a good idea. What did you get? You know, somethin' I could put on the fire after you got here. Something people like. Come clean, Birdie, what did you get? I got pork chops. Pork chops. Oh, I better be gettin' this stuff out to the kitchen. Here comes Miss Margie up the wall. Pork chops? Oh, well. Oh! Oh, look out there! Leave, don't! Yes, young man. Margie, don't watch where you're goin'. Pick that paper up. Here. The idea. Well, you're looking blooming, my dear. Oh, it looks terrible now, but I think it'll be all right when it's calmed out. I had him cut it off a little shorter. It looks fine. I hope you didn't make any plans for this evening, my dear. Well, you know I have. Why do you think I had my hair done? I don't know why women have their hair done. It's just something that comes over them. Uncle Mort, you knew I had a date? Yes, but... I stood Doug up last Saturday because you asked me to and I'm not going to do it again. What have you got against Doug? Nothing. Nothing at all, my dear. It's just that this son of an old college chum of mine turned up unexpectedly, so I asked him out to dinner. Fine. I'll be glad to have dinner with him, but after that, I'm sorry. But you don't understand, my dear. This boy is all-American. What do you think Doug is, an Indian? I mean he's a football player. No kidding. Not an all-American. Well, his father was. I don't care if his dad was present. I've got a date with Doug. Marjorie. Yes? It's not very often I ask you to do a thing like this, but I'm asking you tonight. This means a lot to me. I'd like to show this boy a good time, and I'd like you to help me. But Uncle Mort... You like this boy, my dear? I haven't met him yet, but if he's anything like his dad, you'll be crazy about him. All the girls were crazy about Brink. He was a great, big strapping fellow, had a grip like a bear trap. He'd shake hands with you and your knees would turn to water. He must have been a charmer. Yes, Brinkerhoff was a hero to me. To me. He was a hero to everybody in school. I remember in my senior year, the biggest weekend of the year. The day of the junior prom. The day of the big game. Well, you're both right. The weekend of the game with Steak was also the weekend of the junior prom. And I'd invited a girl down for the occasion. A blind date. Uh-oh. You're wrong, Leroy. This girl turned out to be a pippin. How did you... How did you recognize her when you met her, Uncle Moore? It was all very romantic, my dear. She wrote me she'd wear a red hat with a green feather. And I wrote her, I'd be wearing my raccoon coat, my beanie, and a chrysanthemum. You must have been quite a boy owning a raccoon coat. It belonged to my roommate. He was rich. I'll never forget that day waiting down at the depot. There was a flock of us there. Where is she? Where is she? She'd probably get off at the other end. Oh, a red hat. Pardon me, Miss. Are you addressing me, sir? My mistake, no green feather. Oh, there's a blue hat. And look what's under it. Ooh, I wish it was her. Oh, my goodness. Maybe she didn't come. Oh, wait. There's a red hat with a green feather. What a chassis. Oh, Miss. Are you by any chance, Miss Betty Beaumont? Oh, yes, I am. Are you Mr. Dropmorton Gildesley? That's me in person. Well, it's finally gone here. Did you have a pleasant trip? Oh, it was cat-sy. Here, let me get those grips and we'll go on up to the fraternity house. That'll be cat-sy. Oh, look. You see this fella coming? Yeah. That's Brinkerhoff, the captain of our team. Really? My buddy's handsome. Do you know him? Well, sort of. Hello, Mr. Brinkerhoff. Oh, there, Gildesley. Put it there. Yeah. My hand. Glad to see you, Brinkerhoff. Miss Beaumont, I have the honor to present Mr. Brinkerhoff, the captain of our 11. How do you do? I might be glad to know you, Miss Beaumont. I'm sure. Are you going to give you folks a lift up to the campus in my car? Well, I... Mr. Brinkerhoff, that would be cat-sy. Just call me Brink, Miss Beaumont. All right, Brink. Can we ride up with Brink, Mr. Gildesley? Please. Call me Tubby. Good week, Tubby. Sure, Tubby, come on. Hey, I tell you what, we can stop off this wheat shop and let Tubby buy us a soda. How about it? Gee, Brink, that would be cat-sy. Hey, by the way, what are you and Betty doing tonight? Tonight? Well, tonight I'm going to sing in the Glee Club tonight. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Tubby is quite a singer. Say, Tubby, how about letting me bring Betty to hear you so she won't have to go along? You know what I mean, Betty? Uh-huh. How about it, Tubby? Gosh, Brink. Thanks. What a pal. You think of everything. Yeah, against stake. The only way you can lose this game is if you all fall asleep. So I want you to play like you're behind. And that means fight. F-I-G-D fight. Gee, I... Hey, Tubby. Oh, hello, Brink. Gee, you're playing a great game, Brink. Oh, that's nothing to what I'm going to do this half. Say, Tubby, how about bringing Betty over to the sick, sick dance tonight, huh? Oh, gosh, Brink. I'd sure like to, but I can't make it. Oh, you can, huh? No. Well, that's too bad. I fixed it with Coach Mulligan for you to play a couple of minutes in this second half. Oh, gee, no kidding. That'll get you your letter, you know. It'll make you look like a hero to Betty up there in the stands. Oh, gosh, Brink, you sure are a pal. Yeah. You sure you couldn't change your mind about tonight? I'd like to, Brink. I'd sure like to bring Betty to that dance, but I promised my roommate we'd go with him and his cousin and spend the evening at his aunt's house. Aw. Well, that's, uh, too bad, Tubby. That's too bad. Huh? Oh, thanks, Coach. If it hadn't been for Brink, the coach might have never put me in that game. Yeah, but how did you do in the game, Monk? How did it come out? Well, it was a funny thing about that. On the very first play, somebody clipped me from behind, knocked me down and kicked me on the nose. They carried me off the field on a stretcher. Gosh, will you hurt badly? Broke my collarbone. I was laid up in the infirmary for ten days. But do you know what Brink did? What? He took care of my girl, found me all the rest of that weekend. Uh, uh, uh, Betty, she was a queen. That's the last date I ever had with her. After that, she went with Brink. Yeah, how did you know? You're sure he wasn't also the one who broke your collarbone? Brink? Never. Brink was my pal. Are you kidding? Oh, that must be young Brink now. Gosh, I can't wait to see if he looks like his dad. I'll go, my dear. Then, come right in. Bye, George. You're the spitting image of your dad. I'd know you any place. Yes, sir. Always glad to meet the son of Brink. Put it there, my boy. Glad to. Oh! Chip off the old block, all right. We'll be with us again in a few seconds. You homemakers are budget conscious these days, I'm sure. But none of you wants to sacrifice good nutrition for your family. The food budget in line. While you don't have to if you serve your family, foods like delicious parquet margarine because they're thrifty and mighty nutritious, too. Yes, grand tasting parquet margarine is an economical source of important food values your family needs. You see, besides tasting good, parquet margarine is a wholesome nourishing food. It's one of the best energy foods you can serve your family. And it's also a reliable source of vitamin A because every pound of parquet margarine contains 9,000 units of vitamin A the year round. So serve parquet margarine as a spread for bread. Use it for cooking, too. Your family's sure to like its flavor. Yes, tomorrow, ask your food dealer for parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet. The margarine that's made by Kraft. Now let's return to the great Gilder Sleeve, who's invited a few of his closest friends in for the evening to meet the son of his old college chum, Brink Brinkerhoff. Then her is over and our host beams with pride upon the little group of guests clustered about the young hero. But did that stop me? Not me. I double back, ran through the whole team, circled around right in for a good 30 yards, and would have made the touchdown if it hadn't been I ran into my own interference. Oh, well. Why did I have to make you laugh? A chip off the old block, all right, folks. Mr. Brinkerhoff, I think that's the most exciting story I ever heard. Tell us some more of your experiences. Speaking of college puts me in mind of a rather amusing little experience of my own use. Oh, brother. The time we stole the clapper out of the chapel bell. You know the old saying, boys will be boys. Well, sir, for some reason... Hey, Margie, come on in the den here. Why is it you want? Who's that old geezer out there shooting off his face? That's Judge Hooker. He's a friend of my uncle's. Well, is he going to talk all night? Why don't he give somebody else a chance? He's a very nice man. Well, he talks too much. Hey, what do you say we get out of this firetrap and shake these stale characters? These are my friends. Oh, come on, come on, let's get out of here. Well, see how you can say that. After all, Uncle Mort invited all these people just here to meet you. Well, they've met me. They've had their thrill. We don't have to stay here all night while that lame brain swipes the clapper out of the bell, do we? Well, that's good for three hours. Well... Come on. You and I could make beautiful music together, honey. They'll never miss us. Well, Uncle Mort did say he wanted you to have a good time. You see? That settles it. Uncle's orders. My car's right outside. Good night, Mrs. Ransom. Good night, Mr. Görlitz. Good night, PV. Well, Geldy, what do you suppose became of our young friends? They'll turn up hoarse. Don't be so nosy. That young Brinkerhoff seems to be quite a fella. Yes, well, he takes after his dad. Brink always did have a way with the girls. Yeah, that's youth, I guess. Youth. Reminds me the time I swiped the clapper out of the chapel bell. Yeah. But I guess I told you about that. More than once. Good night, hoarse. Good night, Geldy. Yeah, the old goat. You'd think he was the only man that ever stole a clapper out of a bell. Oh, two o'clock in the morning. Why, George, this is going too far. I'll tell that brink. Look here, Brinkerhoff. I'll say to him, friendship is friendship. I'll say to him, but enough's enough. We have a rule in this house, I'll say to him. When my niece goes out in the evening, I want to know where she's going, I'll say to him. And furthermore, oh, I guess they're back in about time, too. Brink. Hey, what's your hurry, the evening's young yet? I'll come in. We can scramble some eggs or something. No, no, I go early tomorrow. What for? What's for? What do you got to get up for that's better than this? Answer me that. Oh, brother, chip off the old block. I don't take my foot out of the door to give me a kiss. Oh, are you going to start that again? We'll see about that. Marjorie! Late, Uncle Mort, but there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Marjorie, where have you been? This wasn't my idea, remember? You said give him a good time. Uncle Mort is a man following me. Mr. Gildeslave, I want to complain about your niece. She doesn't treat me right. Uncle Mort, if you don't mind, I think I'll run up now. I'm not. Yeah, good. Good night, sugar. That's a great little girl you got there, Mr. Gildeslave. She's a dilly. Yeah, she's a fine girl. A little difficult at times, though. Well, that's women. You know, you can't get along with them, and you can't get along without them. Very good. Hey, speaking of Marjorie, I wonder if you're going to be busy tomorrow, Mr. Gildeslave? Marjorie? Busy? Yeah. I wonder if I could drop into your office to speak to you for a few moments. Yeah. You mean? Yeah. You mean? Yeah. You mean? Yeah. You mean about Marjorie? Yeah. Yeah, about Marjorie. Well, well, certainly. Oh, he's glad to see you any time, my boy. Shall we make it around 11? 11. Suit me. Fine. Good night, Mr. Gildeslave. It's been swung. Good night, my boy. Gold! Good night. Kid. Marjorie? Oh, I know a secret, and I won't tell. Talking about Uncle Mort? And I'm tired. You can't fool your old uncle, and I won't tell. I don't know what you're talking about. Good night. Good night, my dear. Pleasant dreams. Villa. I had a most enjoyable evening at your house last night. I want to tell you about last night. You know Marjorie and young Brinkerhoff disappeared early in the evening. You noticed that. Well, I didn't like to say anything. Yes. Well, guess what? He's coming down to my office this morning to talk to me. You mean about? Uh-huh. Oh, I think that's so romantic. Yes, so do I. Why, who'd ever think little Marjorie? Why, she never even met him till yesterday, did she? That's right. Last night. Of course, it's all up to Marjorie. I don't want to influence her, but his dad was one of my best friends at college. Wonderful. You know, I always longed for somebody to sweep me off my feet like that, but my husband, Boregaard, was such a cautious man. Oh, yeah. He was a lawyer, you know. He courted me for three years till finally father had to speak to him. Well, I don't lose any time these days by George. Yes, it happens so fast nowadays, you never know who'll be next, do you? Next. I gotta be getting along. See you at the church. Hello, PB. Well, it looks as if I might be losing my little girl, PB. What do you mean, Marjorie? Yeah, she and young Brinkerhoff slipped out early in the evening last night, if you noticed. Yes, I thought there was something funny going on there. Well, he's coming down to the office to talk to me about it at 11 o'clock. Is that so? Yeah. I suppose congratulations are in order then. Thank you. I'm gonna hate to lose her, though, PB. Well, marriage is a great institution. I've had a good many years' experience with it. So has Mrs. PB. And I think we'd agree that your niece is making no mistake. Eh, you know, PB, I've always regretted that I didn't marry. Have you, Mr. Ghostly? Yes, I've always felt somehow that I was missing one of the finest things in life. I don't know, I wouldn't say that. Marriage has its conveniences and its inconveniences. Oh, well, of course, it's like anything else. It's a matter of give and take. More give than take. I think Mrs. PB would go along with me on that, too. I know, but you've been married a long time, PB. 23 years. So has Mrs. PB. When you've been married as long as that, I suppose the novelty sort of wears off. Well, no, I wouldn't say that either. Mrs. PB still manages to spring a little surprise on me now and then. Only the other day, she presented me with a watch fob. She crocheted for me. The last thing in the world you'd experience. Watch fob, crocheted. I take it all back, PB. I'm glad I never got married. Oh, I gotta be getting there. I can't keep him waiting. Then good-bye, Mr. Ghostly. Wait a minute. What did I come in here for? A razor blade? No. A stamp? No. Well, it'll come back to me. Good-bye, PB. Then good-bye, Mr. Ghostly. Is he here yet, Ms. Fitch? Is who here yet? The kid. Young Brink. No one's been here. Were you expecting someone? Was I expecting someone? But you don't know. No what? That young fellow who was in here yesterday. You know, the one I said I couldn't see. Yes. That little did I know. Ms. Fitch, I think. I'm not sure. But I think he may going to be marrying my niece. No. Yeah. You know, I thought he was rather good-looking. Looks just like his dad. A chip off the old block. Little Margie. A wedding. Won't that be exciting? You know, I love weddings. Yeah? And funerals. This may be him now. Well, good morning, Governor. Well, come in, my boy. Come in. Nice of you to give me a little of your time. Not at all. I won't shake hands. I'm always glad to oblige the son of an old college chum. Step right into my private office here. Thanks. Ms. Fitch, will you please see that we're not disturbed? Yes, Mr. Gillisly. Sit down, my boy. She's all right. Take the chair there. Have a cigar. Oh, thanks. Don't care for do. I always like a man that smokes cigars. There's a lighter on the desk there. Well, I guess if Margie knew that you were down here talking to me, she'd be kind of surprised, wouldn't she? You think a lot of that needs to yours. Don't you, Mr. Gillisly? I think the world of her. She's a fine girl, Margie. I don't know if I'd want to. I agree with you. Yeah, she's been a good niece to me, and she'll make a darn good wife to somebody. I'm with you 100%. Say, Mr. Gillisly? Yes. Have you ever considered what would become of Margie in the event that you would have passed on? Huh? Now, I have an insurance policy here. Oh! You're just like your old man. You get out of here. You know, here in Somerfield, we've sort of prided ourselves on doing the best we could every time a scrap drive or a bond drive came along. Or anything that would help the war effort. But tonight, our hats are off to three other towns. Green Bay, Wisconsin, Freeport, Illinois, and Decatur, Indiana. In each of these towns, the Kraft Cheese Company has a plant. And those three plants have just been given the Army Navy E Award for outstanding service in the production of food for our fighting men. Many manufacturers have been given this award. But this is the first time it has ever been presented to the men and women who helped to make our Army and Navy the best fed in the world. We in Somerfield can't claim any credit for that accomplishment, but we can take pride in it, and we do. To you men and women of the Kraft Company in Green Bay, Freeport, and Decatur, our hearty congratulations. Good night, everybody. Yeah! Original music heard on this program was composed and conducted by Billy Mills. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for the Kraft Cheese Company and inviting you to tune in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gelder Sleeve. A word for all you thrifty women who are trying to keep the food budget on an even keel. The product called Kraft Dinner is just your dish. For Kraft Dinner gives the economical way the quick way to make delicious macaroni and cheese, fluffy, tender macaroni drenched with cheese goodness. With Kraft Dinner, you make it in just seven minutes cooking time. You see, every Kraft Dinner package contains a special fast-cooking macaroni and an envelope of Kraft grated so that you can sprinkle in the cheese flavor in a hurry and say the family will go for this thrifty, speedy macaroni and cheese. We'll tell you it's as good as any you ever baked in the oven the old-fashioned way. Why don't you get several packages of economical Kraft Dinner tomorrow? Have it on hand on the pantry shelf. A main dish ready in seven minutes is such a help on busy days. Tomorrow, ask your food dealer for Kraft Dinner. This program reached you from Hollywood. This is the National Broadcasting Company.