 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook One Bad Night by Jason R. Davis, narrated by Darren Marlar. Here is a sample of this terrifying audiobook on the audiobooks page at MarlarHouse.com. A dry cleaner in Oregon has posted a sign that if you support President Trump, then they don't want you as a customer. That might have an effect if you're the only dry cleaner in the area. You're not, so enjoy your lack of business for being so obtuse. Heck, I didn't vote for Trump, but I still wouldn't want to do business with you just because you're being a jerk. In fact, if I were the competition, I would immediately put up a sign saying, who you voted for isn't any of our business, we just want to clean your clothes. The University of Victoria's Law Library is turning the page on innovation by introducing a new item students can borrow, a dog. Echo, a four-and-a-half-year-old black lab, can now be checked out from the library for 30 minutes at a time to give students a stress-relieving break with man's best friend. But don't keep the dog past your time because the late fees are astronomical. Each human dollar is like $7 in dog money. Worth noting that the Anizer Bush Brewery put beer production on hold this week so that they could can safe drinking water to distribute to flood victims affected by Hurricane Harvey. But Democrats are still angry about it because the cans contain the name Bush. In Shanghai, after encountering a police checkpoint late, one drunk driver came up with a creative way of getting out of failing a breathalyzer test. Less than 100 meters away from the checkpoint, the man fled his black Mercedes and began stumbling up a roadside hill before slipping and tumbling back down. It was there that police caught up with him. Noticing that he reeked of alcohol, they asked him to take a breathalyzer test. Despite the fact that he kept insisting, I wasn't drinking, I wasn't driving. He then suddenly started eating grass by the handful. Officers tried to get him to stop, but he just kept going. The stunt did save him from taking a breathalyzer test, but it did not save him from being taken back to the police station, where a blood test found that his blood alcohol content was 0.156, far over the legal limit. Plus, he tested positive for grass. Hillary Clinton will go on a 15-city tour this fall to promote her book What Happened with the Most Expensive Seats in the House Going for $1,200. Seriously? She expects people to pay over $1,000 to hear her say, I lost the election because people hated Trump, but they hated me even more? For every extra pound you put on, your brain shrinks, according to a recent study from UCLA. Elderly people who are obese or overweight have significantly less brain tissue than people of normal weight. The brains of obese people looked 16 years older than their healthy counterparts, while those of overweight people looked 8 years older. UCLA neuroscientist and senior study author Paul Thompson told Health Day News. Most of the brain tissue that was lost was in the frontal and temporal lobe regions of the brain, which governs decision making and memory, among other things. Which explains why I make poor decisions about eating junk food. Because I'm fat. It's a vicious circle. A Texas alligator sanctuary is on alert as floodwaters threaten to unleash hundreds of gators. Roughly 350 reptiles could potentially swim out of their enclosures if water keeps rising. But the owner of a sanctuary says rumors that his gators have already escaped are not true. Gator country owner Gary Sarage spoke out, saying in a Facebook video, they're there. I'm not going to tell you that we may not lose a few little alligators like that. It's very possible, but I can tell you that we're almost through this thing and we're holding tight. Does this not sound like a sci-fi movie scenario like Sharknado, though? This summer, just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, floodgator, this flood has bite. The CEO of McDonald's was paid $15.4 million last year, which included perks like contributions to a retirement plan. Yeah, but did he also get a discount on his extra value meals? No? In Singapore, a 36-year-old man drove his car through safety barricades and into the ocean. His car sunk to the bottom of the ocean but a bystander pulled him out. The man told police that a mermaid told him to plunge into the waters. I'm going to take a stab in the dark here and say this guy had been consuming a little bit more than chicken of the sea. The study says crying babies can reduce household income by 11%. Seeing as today's kids continue to be crybabies right into college, that number seems kind of low to me. Puretta is advertising a toothbrush holder that cleans the reported 60% of all toothbrushes that contain fecal matter. Okay, I've got to say, if your toothbrush contains fecal matter, I'm guessing you're probably brushing your teeth the wrong way. The University of Tampa assistant sociology professor has been fired after he suggested Hurricane Harvey is retribution for Texans who voted Republican. In a tweet this week, Kenneth L. Story stated, I don't believe an instant karma, but this kind of feels like it for Texas. Hopefully this will help them realize the GOP doesn't care about them. But really, Professor Ken, no politician cares about us unless it's right before an election. This is even worse than it sounds. Not only is he saying that Texas is being punished for voting Republican, you can only conclude that all hurricanes then are staunch Democrats. Personally, I see that as a reason not to vote Democrat, but that's just me. In Great Falls, Montana, a woman called 911 to complain about the quality of the meth she had just purchased. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions? First Lady Melania Trump got into some social media hot water Tuesday as she and President Trump headed to Texas to survey damage from Hurricane Harvey. The First Lady was photographed stepping out of the White House in 4-inch stiletto heels. One Twitter user asked, Who the bleep wears stiletto heels to a disaster area? The First Lady changed footwear, though, while on Air Force One stepping onto Texas' ground in white sneakers. Which prompted critical comments like, Why is she in Texas to serve a hurricane damage or to shoot hoops? 79-year-old Canadian man has run his 100th marathon. Today's friendly reminder that you truly are an underachiever. There is a furniture store and a bowling alley in Houston that have opened their doors to flood victims. And new sofas, beds, recliners, a snack bar, a working bowling alley, with free accommodations like that people might start praying for another hurricane. Clowns are complaining that the new movie It is scaring away business. Then they honk their horn and squirt water out of a flower and it's all okay. They were digging on the site of the new police and fire station in the town of Thornton, Colorado when they uncovered a triceratops skeleton. Geologists say the skeleton is almost as old as the former police and fire station they are trying to replace. Zarks Burgers in the Philippines celebrated their anniversary recently by selling burgers for 15 cents each to the first 80 customers in the door. Thousands showed up for the burgers that normally sell for $2.84. Zarks Burgers. Kind of sounds like something you'd do after getting a bad hunk of meat. I got a 15-cent burger but then later I zarked all over the place. Authorities around the world are on the alert for the fugitive billionaire heir to the Red Bull Energy Drink Fortune. He's proving extremely difficult to catch though since he obviously never needs sleep. The Muppets have debuted the new voice of Kermit the Frog. It's very well done. It just takes a while to get used to the Brooklyn accent. A woman in Southern California was about to eat an organic salad recently, but she found a tiny frog in the salad. She explains, I'm halfway through my salad, and as I'm going to stab another bit, I see the frog peeking out from under the salad. I jumped back. I screamed. There's a frog in my salad. So the woman and her husband put the amphibian in an old aquarium in their home and named it Lucky. Good name. Lucky for you that you didn't swallow him. Lucky for him you didn't stab him with a fork. Maybe not so lucky for the Target Store who you can now sue because they sold you lettuce with a frog living in it. Now a new study claims that low-fat diets could lead to an early death. You know what's going to kill me? All these studies. A woman who was arrested for throwing a cup of urine on a Washington, D.C. bus driver says she was angry the driver told her to have a nice day, but in a sarcastic tone. She adds, I was provoked. I hate the Metro. I'm not buying this for a moment. She had no idea the guy was going to say, have a nice day, before she boarded the bus. But in order to throw a cup of pee on the driver, she had to already have had that. So who walks around with a cup of urine just waiting to be offended by something? Some people are actually charging $99 for a gallon of fresh water in Texas. That's basically the cost of coffee at any Starbucks. A university freshman had a lot to celebrate after riding 2,672 miles across China with a start of a new semester. He finished the trip in 22 days. And I've heard of a guy biking to school from home, but I think 2,672 miles might be a bit too much if you're planning to live at home and save money on rent. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ended their three-week vacation to Africa with a visit to romantic Victoria Falls. Okay, remind me again regarding Prince Harry vacation from what? If you're already an official Weirdo, please share this video on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and other social media to help get the word out. To become an official Weirdo, click that subscribe button and click that little bell next to the subscribe button to be part of the notification squad. While you're at it, click that like button to let the world know that you are an official Weirdo!