 Alrighty here let's watch the whole thing. It's a long sequence, bam-ba-ba. Alright cool cool so I think my main reaction is some of the staging in the camera and some of the actions. Let me see that sounds very broad. So you're gonna have to have this character out of frame so that we don't see him. This guy opens the door comes out. What I would tweak is I will bring that camera down so that your framing is more like this to be honest. So that let's go fancy here with the extra drawing tool. It'll be more like this. This continues on. We see this and then you know whatever whatever is down there to continue that thing so that we are in my crappily drawn thirds. Oof, someone's right. So that the the one character comes out and is here and then the other character comes out you know here-ish so that we still have that much room to refocus. Hold on let me take this out because right now what's happening we have this character center like we're center frames composition is a bit it's usually not that center unless it's for a specific reason and go a bit more traditional like I said in my crappily drawn thirds. So somewhere around here the other thing that happens now because we're so center and low is that when he comes out hey they're kind of moving at the same time I know he opens the door first but just give the characters enough time to register to the audience because the moment he comes in right door opens okay wait what and then this character comes in so it's there's not enough time to me but also he's way too long and then he gets goes out of frame pretty much I mean kind of stays put there but we we never really get to see it so it's either you do this and you don't show this character and you keep it centered and I would technically still be there just to kind of give us a bit more room there even if the other guy doesn't show up but having that solo and coming out almost at the same time it's just I don't think confusing but we still know where to look so if you take this guy out and you just have him comes out here and then looks down even then you might even argue that you can do something let me see can I my hockey is for some reason not working so it will be almost something like this let me bring down framing to something like that so now you have character comes out and it ends up in those you know thirds and then you can have him look over because now he's not a small now we can register what's going on facially a bit better and he can he can look over and then do a big sharp turn with his head to look down and then as an audience we look down as well and then maybe you can have the door open so we see movement so we're ready to go oh something is down there that I want to see and then let me frame slowly painfully then you cut to the second shot and now we are here and the door continues to open and he comes out but the thing is again it's so small like what are you showing off in this like it's we barely see anything in terms of you go back here you got a silhouette with that arm which is a nice I like the framing but so technically we don't really see what's going on I don't think we needed to need to have it that wide this might work as a first shot where we see something I wish it's an establishing shot we understand the geography okay then the door opens and we see movement then we cut to this like I said where it's the close-up and then we cut back to a third shot but then that third shot let me do wait slowly here go into that I mean that would even go to be honest something like that whoops I'm trying to drag my frame something like that because again we've had the establishing shot and then you can do really big broad moves because again that's something I care to that size it's going to be all about big gestures which could work here but then this would be more of a story shot of maybe showing you know how far away they are that this guy goes back in like there's not much you would show off animation wise in terms of putting this on a reel so that's something just for you to think about if you do this whole sequence and you want to put the whole thing on a reel I still be careful to have every shot show something that's substantial in terms of showing off your skills versus this being more of a story sequence if that makes sense then you have this here and then I be careful with this is a big it looks like a translate down versus a rotation I don't know if you need it you could cut but if you do something like that I would again have him more here in the thirds and then as the character moves over you gradually pan with the character and tilt down to land here but the character would be leading the action a bit more as in it could cut off here like you could break frame and then the camera catches up and just but lands a bit slower with a bit more overlap not saying you have to do a lot of handheldy stuff but I would make the camera moves less sharp because this is borderline a cut right you move a bit but you stop really sharply and then you might as well just cut from shot to shot same thing here this goes down one two three frames like this is might as well do a cut but you can do this all in one long shot coming down by now maybe the camera has settled and again it would be reframing and not be so far to the left there because now I'm expecting someone to come through that window or jump into frame but we never have that then you go down to this I don't mind that I will probably have that character here at least at the beginning so it's a bit more you're not that much of an overlap there and potential tangents but I don't this is where I have slight questions about the character choices so the character comes down here and this guy's just kind of waiting looks at the feet doesn't really look up and it kind of waits right going left and right and what is he doing why is he not already grabbing the feet and what is this is this like come at me bro this is a taunt is it going for a hug I'm not understanding what this is then we have that and then generally animation is just really really fast I'm not quite buying the what's it called to the wait and then this is tricky was now you're crossing the line as in we're looking to his his right side he goes left to right cut to a 180 break we're now we're looking at his left side and he's got he goes right to left so I will keep that a bit more again tilt down or cut into a wide that's technically this and then the character can just continue because there's no other shot after that so you might as well have something like this you might have to change this here but that's the exit so the character comes out and then jumps out here and again this is in terms of animation a bit wonky in terms of that much momentum going forward comes to a sudden stop then goes out to a sharp right and keep that a bit more fluid with a wider arc and if he if he goes like this to me it's more like well you're gonna put this arm here and not go like that I mean unless he wants to push off that's what I think it looks like because it's not really sticking through the wall is he supposed to jump and then push off here or is he just gonna vault the other side you know like this arm down flip him over he just kind of jumps over that and then again momentum wise if he does this and actually uses this wall and pushes off that momentum will carry him way to the left and this feels like he hits a wall right here and goes boom right throw that line here so he just goes here it's that wall and just falls down so that exit would be out this way and not like this if that makes sense so that's kind of that if I played a whole thing what are we out here 70 like 25 percent slower comes out hey huh what's over there you over there it's a bit slow places and in places it's okay like actually I really prefer that 25 percent slower but then this feels like the jump feels good to me better this feels slow and the rest feels a bit slow so to me it's it's a mix between 25 percent slower and then regular speed and then slower again and that's kind of that so I know those those are bigger changes in terms of well do you want to change the camera do you want to change the whole beginning and make it an establishing shot and you know and it's it's not to say that you can't do an establishing shot afterwards but I would probably still go closer here now I would still probably play with the idea of character frames this way and then at least when the other guy comes in we see more of it that's probably the biggest thing for that and you could still cut to that and make that the biggest establishing shot and do this right where you have here with the big big move I think either way would work doing this first or not so whatever version I have before I think they both can work I would just definitely rework this and then after that it's mostly camera movement if you want to go just cut and cut and cut or make this one longer shot but then really work on the camera moves it's it's less over three frames and just sharp and then camera the character interaction feels a bit weird like I said why what is he doing here don't quite get this and I don't know what the red light is here I don't see anything in your email like why why is it constantly getting having that that layer of red on and off and that's it all right thanks all right there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way like and subscribe would be awesome all right thank you