 So I stand before you today, Mr. President and my colleagues to say this will be my last term as Republican leader of the Senate. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. However, I'll complete my job. My colleagues have given me until we select a new leader in November and they take the helm next January. I'll finish the job that people of Kentucky hired me to do as well, albeit from a different seat. And I'm actually looking forward to that. So it's time for me to think about another season. I love the Senate. It's been my life. There may be more distinguished members of this body throughout our history, but I doubt there were any with any more admiration for the Senate. After all this time, I still get a thrill walking into the Capitol and especially on this venerable floor, knowing that we, each of us, have the honor to represent our states and do the important work of our country. But father time remains undefeated. I'm no longer the young man sitting in the back hoping colleagues would remember my name. It's time for the next generation of leadership. So sad. You just heard from Senate Minority Leader and blood-sucking parasite Mitch McConnell, who tearfully announced his decision to step down from Republican leadership in November. Now, unfortunately for all of us, he's still not going anywhere unless he dies, since his term doesn't end until 2027. Still got a ways to go, but the good news is that he will no longer be in the driver's seat for the Republican Party. Now, this is a man who has done irreparable harm to our country, but there's always more harm to be done, so I'm sure that he's having a difficult time coming to terms with the reality that his successor probably just won't be able to do as much damage as he did since there's no way they're going to be as politically savvy or effective as him. And that's no compliment to Mitch McConnell to be clear, because this man is a demon, perhaps literally, but objectively speaking, he knew how to play politics, and yes, he was ruthless and Machiavellian, but he got what he wanted, but there was a cost, and that cost was American democracy. Now, I'm going to play a video from now this. This is a little bit old, but former Labor Secretary Robert Wright kind of gives us a concise breakdown of just some of the things that this man managed to accomplish in his tenure as GOP leader. No person has done more in living memory to undermine the functioning of the U.S. government than the Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell. Yes, Donald Trump has debased and defiled the presidency, but McConnell is actively and willfully destroying the Senate. He cares only about winning. On the eve of the 2010 midterm elections, he famously declared that his top priority was for Barack Obama to be a one-term president. Between 2009 and 2013, McConnell's Senate Republicans blocked 79 Obama nominees. In the entire history of the United States until that point, only 68 presidential nominees have been blocked. Once back in control of the Senate, McConnell buried Obama's nomination of Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court by refusing even to hold hearings. And then in 2017, McConnell and his Republicans changed the rules again, ending the use of the filibuster for Supreme Court nominees and clearing the way for Senate confirmation of Trump's Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh. And in 2019, he used his Republican majority to cut the time for debating Trump's court appointees from 30 hours to two, thereby enabling Republicans to ram through even more Trump judges. Step by step, McConnell has sacrificed the Senate as an institution to partisan political victories. Now again, the videos a bit older, so Secretary Reich didn't get to the part where McConnell conveniently decided that confirming Supreme Court appointments during an election year was good after Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, even though he said the opposite four years prior after Scalia died. And that not only maintained the conservative majority on the Supreme Court when it was on the cusp of switching to a liberal majority, it led to a conservative supermajority. He did that. And without his obstruction, Roe v. Wade would not have been able to be overturned. And our entire Supreme Court system wouldn't have been hijacked by far-right extremists had it not been for Mitch McConnell's ruthless undemocratic maneuvers. He is by far and away the most effective politician perhaps in American history, definitely within our lifetimes. And the evil that he unleashed upon all of us will be felt long after he's gone, right? Long after he's out of the Senate and long after he leaves this earth. But as he announced his retirement, Good Riddance started to trend on Twitter with thousands of people vocalizing how much they fucking despise this man. And it's not like he's unaware about how unpopular he is. He just doesn't care. In fact, Julia Conley of Common Dreams points out that he's consistently received low approval ratings in his own state. And on top of that, he's been one of the least popular senators nationally, too. So basically, almost everyone in America hates Mitch McConnell. And for most reasonable, sane Americans, this news of his retirement is very good news. Because even though it's entirely conceivable that someone with worse politics than him could take the reins after he's gone, it is inconceivable to me that his successor will even be half as effective at actually implementing the Republican Party's evil agenda as he was. So one would think that conservatives in theory would be really upset at this news, right? They think, oh my God, we have this pusher of evil no longer on our side after November. And that's kind of scary. But except a lot of conservatives, namely Trump supporters, were actually participating in the left and liberal celebrations of his announcement. And they were shitting on him. For example, a fairly large pro-Trump account on Twitter tweeted good riddance trader with a video of Joe Biden calling Mitch McConnell a friend. And other Trump supporters shared the same video echoing the trader claim by calling him a backstabbing rat who spits on voter interests. Now he's technically right, albeit for the wrong reasons. What he says that Mitch McConnell spit on voter interests, what he means is that Mitch McConnell didn't always listen to Trump 100% of the time. But it is true that Mitch McConnell did spit on voter interests. And that's because he imposed his evil neoliberal pro-corporate policies on all of us, regardless if we wanted it or not. The least popular senator in America kept giving us policies we did not want and we just had to shut up and take it. He controlled the judiciary. He implemented right wing policies that were very unpopular. But I mean, if you're on Team Red, it's a bit odd that you're against him doing what you say you want. And this is why it's truly hard to fathom that the next GOP leader will be as effective as Mitch McConnell. Because Mitch McConnell, I think the thing that makes him effective for Republicans is the fact that he ignores the tactical stupidity of Trump supporters. And he actually tries to deliver policies that they say they want even if they hate him for doing it or not going far enough. So I don't think that they realize how much more difficult it's going to be for them to accomplish all of the evil shit that they want Republicans to accomplish without someone like Mitch McConnell in power. But in the end, this is still good news. And as Mitch McConnell said, father time remains undefeated and I have no doubt that he'd remain in leadership for another 100 years if he could. But I mean, he's 82 years old and by the time his term is over in 2027, he'll be 85 years old and he's already decomposing before our very eyes. So, you know, he didn't really have much of a choice here. But I'm still happy that he delivered us this good news because his departure from politics entirely can't come soon enough. I'm going to come. Do not come. Come. Welcome to the council. Come. Come.